From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Axe)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Alternative text
Homeless people gag on the smell of their own body odor.

Deodorant is a versatile stick made of powdery and sticky matter. Its most common use is to mask unpleasant body odors, although some have found more creative uses for it. To date, no one, not even God himself knows what it is made of.

The Choice: To Wear It or Not?[edit | edit source]

Many impoverished people cannot afford hygiene items such as deodorant. Many affluent people can and yet choose not to wear it. Why smell good if everyone is going to follow you like flies and treat you like a VIP anyway? Many wealthy people snicker as their hired help have no choice but to smell them.

The choice to wear deodorant is, of course, a personal one. Some people feel manly with sticky sweat drenching their clothes on a hot summer's day. Others enjoy repelling others because they'd rather be alone anyway. And sweat removes impurities from the body, so blocking it with deodorant actually makes you less healthy.

It's never too early to begin using deodorant. Young children particularly stink.
This young man is using deodorant as an inhalant. Such huffing will damage his sense of smell, but will eventually get him a product spokesmen gig.
This stinky child cannot decide whether to wear it or eat it.

Deodorant Parties[edit | edit source]

The newest craze sweeping college campuses is the phenomenon of "Deodorant Parties". Everyone brings a deodorant product to the festivities and people take turns applying it to each other. The moment everyone eagerly anticipates is the deodorant demonstrations. Each person shows and discusses their choice of product and allows the group to smell their boobies and armpits. This activity is followed by the voting and swearing in of the "Speed Stick Queen."

Young women attending a deodorant party-All the rage among modern youth.
This "Deodorant Party Girl" demonstrates her new "mini-deodorant" to impress her friends.
Sharing deodorant with friends is pure pleasure!

Deodorant Eating Disorder[edit | edit source]

Although most people are aware of anorexia and bulimia, Deodorant Eating Disorder is still unknown to many people. Whereas most young people enjoy deodorant and its social pleasures, those with DED cannot. DED stems from an obsession with both bad breath and body odor. Sufferers will often eat their deodorant and place crushed breath mints in their armpits. While such confusion may be difficult to understand, it is sadder still to be in the shoes of a young woman who "scarfs and barfs" her Right Guard.

After repeated binges, the mouth stretches.
Oops! This young lady may end up eating all her deodorant before she even gets to the Deodorant Party!
This product is only used by those with "hard core" deodorant eating disorder"!

Deodorant and the Apocalypse[edit | edit source]

Deodorant will play a special role in the "last days." Against the sulfurous odor of the Anti-Christ, be sure you have plenty of anti-perspirant!

Even terrorists must wear deodorant.
A North and a South Korean bonding due to effective deodorants.
Apocalypse Survival Kit-Stock up on deodorant for the last days. In event of nuclear holocaust, you will have party favors.