HowTo:Install Windows Vista
Stfo w/ ya book readin wordz hatah!
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
But you can't install it? Well this is what this article is for! It's as easy as stealing bases with a tooth pick while invading Russia with grain of sand. The level for a person's IQ for this must on par with God's IQ.
- 1 The specs for Vista
- 2 How to Install
- 3 Congrats
- 4 Notes
The specs for Vista
What you need for Windows Vista to run is the following...
- Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S GFX with the Nvida Play-Doh Play feature enabled to be able to Pee at 60 fps, ($120 if used)
- Intel i7 69th gen processor, ($299,999 must be new/unopened)
- 94 gigabytes of RAM, ($420 cheapest price at Tesco)
- Windows Vista (duh), (Ultimate costs $190)
- A floppy drive, ($13.37 from common antique stores)
- A PC case that came from the getto, (Depends on who you're buying from so prices may vary)
- A cock, (free of cost unless trans-gender or amputated for peeing in 60 fps)
- A suck my A.S.S Ethernet portal, ($40.000 advanced scratchmyballs technology™ makes it not an Ethernet connector and too revolutionary to be bought on Newegg.)
- A Microsoft Fan, (shove that guy in the machine)
- An Experienced nerd from school, (kick him out of the house after you're done)
- Advanced DDR 9 RMD (RockMyDick Technology) Motherboard, ($1,000,000 GTA Online in-game money for low budget edition)
- MS DOS 4.20 ($29.99 at Best Buy)
- And a harddrive that have at least 17TB of memory.
How to Install
To do this, insert the floppy disk and set it up.
Step 2, format the harddrive
C:\User Files\> format C:\ partiton 0
Insert the Windows Vista compatibility disk for MS DOS into the floppy drive. Then navigate to...
This will launch a text-based program that will install the graphics and get the Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S. to start doing it's job and the mouse.
Step 4, restart
After it installs some stuff, it'll ask you to restart by using the C4 shortcut (CTRL-ALT-C4 or Shit-D)
After blowing up your computer, It'll overwrite MS DOS' 7,000,000 worded essay which will cause itself to have a nuclear meltdown. You should see a slight increase of radiation in your room. Just ignore it and Install Vista by launching the graphical setup which will wipe everything in the computer.
Step 6, restart your computer again
Just manually restart it by pressing the power button.
Step 7, wait about 2 days
Setup uses a lot of resources to run so it'll lag a lot. Just have patience.
Step 8, Setup Windows Vista to something you don't like
For Vista, you're gonna need to set up the UnVirus option, the UnFirewall, and make sure you choose anything that says the first 2 letters "Un."
You are now ready to surf the Internet on Windows Vista, take a piss in 60 fps, earn level obesity in Runescape, file your taxes, interrupt normal broadcasting, install some freeware purchase some stuff. and some other shit.
- There is a bug on the Nvida Sexy T.I.T.S that if you enable the Play-Doh-Play feature and then pee at 60 fps, Steve Ballmer will invade your house and take an incredible shit on your Sexy T.I.T.S. which will result in a computer crash. To fix this, pee at 120 fps.
- the approximate cost of the stuff to make Vista run is $104,279,236. (Most of the cost comes from the gaming PC.)
- You need a C4 driver to have access to the C4 shortcut.
- The listed instructions are the severely minimum requirements to run this operating system.