Windows 8.1

Windows 8.1

The logo.
OS family	Windows
Kernel Type	Sanders Windows NT
Company/developer	Micro$oft Windows
Source model	Lies
Available language	Gibberish
Would Emperor Palpatine use it?	What? You say gibberissh?
Codename	Windows Bluescreen

Windows 8 is Microsoft's ~~latest~~ computer virus that installs on your hard drive just like an operating system. It was released in October 2012, .0005 milliseconds after Windows 8 was released and bombed. It took 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000004 years to develop, and so far has lost Microsoft $90,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,0000,0000. operating system, taking on the metro theme.

History[edit | edit source]

In 1985, two operating systems were being planned out by the Blinky Smoked Meats and Fishes company, which would later become Microsoft. One was a primitive DOS-based 8-bit system codenamed "Lansing", and an NT-based 128-bit OS codenamed "GameCube"not to be confused with the potato sold by Nintendo, under the same name. In alpha tests, GameCube would freeze and crash because its graphics system was incompatible with the primitive computers of yesteryear, so they ditched GameCube,although the Microsoft "GameCube" system became a basis for the aforementioned potato. and continued on with Lansing, which would be released as "Windows 1.01". It sucked.

22 years later, when new, more graphically enhanced technology was being developed, they started working on GameCube again. Unfortunately, it couldn't be completed by the deadline, so Microsoft was forced to copy Windows 2000's source code and repackage it as Windows 8 dot 1 as an update to windaz 2001. Microsoft created lieOS, also known was windows 2000 2012 Edition.

The operating system was codenamed Windows Bluescreen, as the developers had tried every way to pack bugs in the operating system for the enjoyment of the users. However, due to users complaining of having too little fun, future major updates, including windows 9, 10, and 11, have instead forced users to update constantly along with making the computer very slow by using ~~Windows~~ Microsoft Defender, if that was not enough, random driver errors and bluescreens will be used for increased entertainment.

Reception[edit | edit source]

Windows 8 is the greatest...all hail Lord Bill Gates...Windows 8 is the greatest...all hail Lord Bill Gates...Fuck Apple... consuming the wind, the pirates of the operating system raged for the game style on the new Start Screen, breaking the high coded flags and it's sophisticated diary built on adoration on folders and submenus rediscovering the watermarks when clicking it's photographs archives and texting.
the Start Screen turned into blatant presentations and exposed designs in which also could be easily lead the productions conquest for connected services and commentary for onboard of water creatures and disguised crew opinions from the deep sea.
that's when the new design was forged into a selective style allowing the proper updates on view to the desktop, the free shipping had being arrived to the Windows 10 workflow.

Due to a CCP mandate, ALL CCP MEMBERS IN CHINA ARE BANNED FROM USING ANY FORM OF WINDOWS 8.X, effective May 16, 2014.

Despite this ban, de facto effective to all people in China (except for people who are less than 2.5 years old, school age), there will be no restriction to the mass pirating scheme in mainland China (CCCPRC), since all people in China are to be lifted out of poverty.

Official Advertisement[edit | edit source]

IT IS ILLEGAL TO WATCH YOUTUBE IN CHINA BY ANY MEANS.

Proud sponsors of Panty Creamings.

• Detect "non-genuine" products

• Gather user information and credit card numbers

• Cripple core system components

• Deploy legal team

• Launch civil litigation

Estimated time:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.

Installing Windows has never been ~~easier~~ easy

All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type
it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.

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