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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Microsoft.

And in a time of great fear and some rain, the beardy Prophet came down the mountains and spoke upon his children:

Microsoft is sometimes misunderstood as an IT company. They advertise for operating systems and office software along other things mainly used on servers. But truth is they have shipped mindbogglingly complicated software which have connectors to your brains endorphinic productions. At the very same second you use a Microsoft product, you start to smile all over your face, your pupils are getting wide in a fraction of a millisecond. It has accessed your brain, it nuzzles in your thoughts, pinches your cortex, makes you feel very very fuzzy and warm. This is all fake. This is the beginning of a worldwide start of Microsoft to command all users to just smile and buy another Microsoft product. This brainwashing is strongly supported by the wearing of a tie and chaps.

The only purpose of Microsoft is the obtainment of world domination.

Say prayers to his noodelyness to prevent this scenario, the end of all times.

Said so, turned around and went away. Ramen.

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