System32

System32 is a useless folder which is often found lurking inside of the Windows folder (which is also useless) and may be considered a virus to many. It contains thousands of useless junk files and subfolders that also contains thousands of other pointless files which just wastes far too much valuable real estate on your puny hard drive.

History

Soon after the stellar success of Windows 1.0, Microsoft tried to think of a way to make the Windows operating system eventually die so they can get more of your money faster by selling you a slightly more advanced version. They got an idea of a folder that contains viruses that are secretly hidden and slowly decreases the lifespan of the operating system. They thought of a name to name it, and they came up with Vir32, but that seemed way too obvious. They then decided to think of a more obscure name, and finally settled on System (or System32 for the more technologically-advanced computers). So they added the folder with the viruses inside of it into Windows 95, their next (and most famous) operating system. And this idea was a success! The people's computers were dying much faster and Microsoft gained much more money than last time.

System32 lived on until Windows 10. However, some users suddenly stumbled across this folder, and they realized that this folder also contained undesirable malware that Microsoft had been surreptitiously stuffing into that specific folder over the years; so they warned other users about this folder, and advised them to delete it immediately. However, it wasn't easy removing it.

Deleting System32

This man tried to delete System32, but failed. System32 retaliated and revealed photos of his wife with another man to him.

“Sure, go for it”

~ Bill's goats on deleting System32

Deleting System32 is a well known technique used to speed up computers, and has been renowned by scientists. It is guaranteed not to break your computer to the point of requiring a trip to the computer repair shop where some snotty teenager checks out the private photos of you with your partner, making witty remarks about no specific sex act in particular when you come to pick up your computer, "asking" for a tip because he did such a good job and even installed some free software for you. No sir. It does not. In fact, it even speeds it up to the point that it is comparable to most super computers. So in reality, deleting System32 will be really helpful in the long run. The process of deleting System32 was originally discovered in 1998 when some dude right-clicked the system32 folder and then pressed the delete key, causing a major chunk of his hard drive to vanish into thin air. Following that fateful day, Microsoft took the additional precaution of disabling the delete key once and for all.

How to delete System32

If you do some sorcery with the Command Prompt you can delete it, so follows these instructions and enjoy a free PC-boost!

1. Open up Windows Explorer, the program that lets you see all of the files in your operating system.
2. Search for system32, or goto C:\Windows\ and find it there.
3. Right-click it and select Properties.
4. Goto Security and goto Advanced.
5. Click add, then Select a Principal, type in your username and password and click "OK".
6. Ignore all warnings you might see. Nothing to worry about really. You are a professional if you believe you are a professional.
7. Close Windows Explorer and then open up Command Prompt.
8. Type in cd C:\Windows\system32.
9. Then type in del * and then y.
10. When the "Are you sure you want to go through with this???" pop-up appears, click "YES".
11. When the "Can't we talk it over or something?" pop-up appears, click "NO".

Congratulations! You have successfully deleted system32.