UnNews:Microsoft delays Internet Explorer 12
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 January 2010
REDMOND, Washington -- Microsoft have today released a statement sighting that the popular web browser franchise, Internet Explorer, will have its 12th installment delayed until the fiscal Q4 2015 as the Redwood Giant feel that the browser may not catch on too well with the the current web surfers. When confronted about the HTML6 enabled IE12 at MegaCESConferenceThing 2010, the CEO, Steve Ballmer, quickly responded, "We at Microsoft feel it's your potential, our passion and we don't feel today's media consuming web generation is ready for 3D web-pages or a voice command URL bar. It is your potential, our passion in this scenario and we are delaying this release until 2015 at least because it is our potential, your passion."
This statement came as no surprise to critics that have been trying out the IE12 beta. One woman from Glasgow, England said, "Now, I'm not a computer genius, but if you're planning a twelfth version of an application, shouldn't you have a 10th and 11th version?". This does bring up a valid point, that even though Microsoft spend £1.5b a year on advanced computer engineers, none of them can count past 9. A Norwegian beta tester also shouted into our correspondents microphone "Since that Russia/Google hacking incident, Microsoft have become paranoid... delaying IE12! Now I'll just have to use Firefox 6.2 beta and Mozilla's JavaScript X-Ray vision is still a little buggy".
In conclusion, we at UnNews can safely say that the world wide web will still be boring and in 2D until 2015.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Sammy Biltmore "Microsoft does not fail to disappoint" REgis Magazine, January 23, 2010