3D
Video Games[edit | edit source]
Three-dimensional video games were a brief fad in the early 90's that lasted no longer than a couple years. The superiority of two dimensional gaming lead many to believe that successful gameplay could be translated into 3D. Sadly, this was not the case. Primitive models with blocky abstract shapes and eye tearing textures made the 3D movement doomed to never repeat itself.
Newer research has though uncovered the secret of 3D to be an optical illusion caused by brainwave-altering lightbursts coming from the TV/Computer-monitor. This mindtrick is forced upon us humans by the almighty robots of electro music, of which we have no chance to escape or oppose. Acceptance of our grim fate is the only solution.
Films[edit | edit source]
Three-dimensional films have been a part of the film-going experience since February of 1992. At that time, in order to boost sales during the traditionally soft attendance period that occurs in the winter, the cinemas in Gary Indiana banded together and promoted festival called "Box Office Bombs-Films We Wish They Hadn't Made." It was during the screening of the film Ishtar that 19 year-old Jerry Snodgrass discovered that deplorable films that seem to have nothing redeemable about them are improved, even made tolerable when objects seem to literally fly off the screen. This was brought home to him when the other member of the viewing audience sitting three rows in front of him tossed an apple core over his shoulder and it struck Jerry on the forehead.
After several years of experimenting with actual physical objects, a technology was landed on that allowed film makers who wished to punch up their plot-less not worth the time of day features by randomly causing objects unconnected with the film to seem to come off the screen and fly infront of the viewers face. The consensus is that this seems to work because it distracts the viewer, but further research is required.
Example of 3D[edit | edit source]
This is a high-quality 3D rendering of a simple box. In order to view the image in its full glory, you must cross your eyes.
,---------, ,--------- ,/| ,/| ,-'| ,-| ,/ | ,/ | ,-' | ,-' | ----+----' | ------+--' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | *----+----| | *--+-----| | ,/ | ,/ | ,-' | ,-' |,/ |,/ |,-' |,-' ---------' ---------'
