Year
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A year is a unit of time and energy. it has no specific length of time (aside from being 31536000 seconds long, but seconds don't really count) but is dependent only on the recognition of the significance of boobs and time at any given moment. The unit, year can be summed up through Einstein's famous equation, Y=2ta + S where "t" is time, "a" is a representation of how much people can be bothered with life, and S the significance of time at any given point. Time and year are closely linked, as both admit unquestionably that pink is their favourite colour.
History[edit | edit source]
Years were invented by Alexander Graham Bell during his wild, rebellious teen years. During that period, he was known to have invented useful things like washclothes, rocks, and Marxism.
His spree of violent, notorious inventing was only ended on 2021, when the Reverend Al Sharpton -- who, also subsequently traveled from the past -- fought him in a no-holds-barred cage karate match.
A year represents the way of seeing time as cycles in a similar way that a week or a day or an hour or a second which are all time units that you have a big bunch of in another time unit. One might argue that eternity is the sum of all these and we'd be able to construct eternity if we just had the patience. Opposite to this, so called Puzzle philosophy, is the Riddle philosophy, which argues that it's all a big spoof and that there will be a twist in the end that will change the meaning of everything prior to that.
For example in the movie 40 and still a virgin the main character rides a bike (a bi-CYCLE) and doesn't get laid until the very end, which the french call le petit Nicolas, the small death. The question here obviously is what do you have after the grand death, the one that you read about from your newspaper. The first thing you do is you take the year you died and from that you reduce the year you were born and thus get your age when you died, also the number of years you had on this world. I think you will probably still be able to write articles to uncyclopedia.
The year 1998 took about three times longer than usual since the Earth decided to have a few beers, then got pulled over with a DUI. It spent the extra time behind bars before being released and continuing on its way.
Specific Types of Year[edit | edit source]
There are probably more specific types of year than you ever realized during your sorry existence. Which one did you mean, you ambiguated fool?
- The common industrial year is 1000000000000000000000 days and contains 17 national holidays, 137 state holidays, 389 feast days, and 450 calories.
- The canadadian year is 30. minutes. but it is only celebrated at the 48th year by resetting the year
- The solar year is the average time it takes the Sun to revolve about the Earth.
- The lunar year is the average time it takes the Earth to revolve about the moon (see Lunarcentrism).
- The fiscal year is the time between the originally scheduled release dates of Windows versions and the actual release dates. Due to tidal drag from market forces, the actual length of this year is currently increasing at an alarming rate.
- For scientifical purposes, the scientifical year is currently defined as exactly 26.0887285 SI fortnights.
- The moral year is the time it takes for someone to climb onto their most wonderful and adored pedestal of perfection.
- The botanical year - the time it takes for a monkey puzzle tree to grow to its full size.
- The Geeks year - the time it takes a geek to get laid. N.B this is often the longest year so is shunned in some time-concious societies.
- The Caribean year - Whenever they can be bothered to buy a new calender. Don worryy, dere's no rush ya.
Proper Usage Examples[edit | edit source]
"The 4 Billion Year Blizzard of Poisonous Scorpions must have been a troublesome time for the human species."
Improper Usage Examples[edit | edit source]
The year is not to be confused with butterscotch, peanut butter, butter sticks, bread and butter pudding, but 'er girls parts smell of fish, butternut squash, squashed pineapples, the torturous punishment of hitler involving the insertion of pineapples into his colon, the insert tab on microsoft word, the song "word up" by cameo, the famous ivory cameo of Queen Elizabeth the II, the Second first third gulf war, the war of mexico, the assassination of immigrants, the polish, any nazi related material, floral material used in curtain manufacture, wakefield - home of England's largest factory owned by coca-cola, any fizzy drink, soft drink, any drink, sustenace, small mammals, large whales, ugly people, scientists, space, Galaxy, time-space continuum, in fact the year only really means what it has been previously established to mean.
Late-Breaking Addendum[edit | edit source]
In 2046, the length of one year has been changed to the amount of time between when you trip, and when your face actually hits the ground.
Time - Calendar - Second - Minute - Hour - Tomorrow - Today - Yesterday - Day - Weekday - Weekend - Month - Year - Decade - The Past - The Present - The Future
Months of the Year: January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December
Days of the Week: Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday - Saturday - Sunday