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“Making everyone work to a rigid cycle with no integer divisors and which doesn't even fit the month or the year is a great idea.”

~ Babylonians who created the week

The week is an evil invention created by Babylonian overlords to force their people to work, sleep, and binge-watch Netflix to a rigid cycle. Today, it still enslaves millions of workers.

Days of the week[edit | edit source]

Monday[edit | edit source]


~ The single word that describes Mondays

The week starts here, unless you're American or Canadian, in which case scroll to the end of the week. No, that's not the beginning, that's the end.

Tuesday[edit | edit source]

Not much better than Monday, but the prospect of the working weekend makes it slightly more bearable.

Wednesday[edit | edit source]

The working week is half over. Of course, you'll never get away from work even at the weekends, but at least you can pretend to.

Thursday[edit | edit source]

Nearly... there...

Friday[edit | edit source]

This day is named after the Norse fertility goddess Frigg, so you will have a higher chance of successfully boinking a beautiful Scandinavian woman in a shady love motel tonight. On the other hand, Frigg's son-in-law is literally the god of thunder, so you might want to go for someone else.

Saturday[edit | edit source]

You can momentarily forget your sorrows through consuming a large amount of alcohol tonight, and then pass out on the pavement, banging your head and ending up in A&E.

Sunday[edit | edit source]

You can indulge in masochism as you recover from your hangover and worry about work endlessly. No, this is not the start of the week.