Systeme Incrediblé

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For the système impérial de mesures, see Imperial System
A scientist trying to calculate a value for stuff without using the SI system.

The Systeme Incrediblé (SI) unitage principals were first formulated by French coal miners in 1972, in an almost heroically useless attempt to make sense of - to use the scientific term "stuff". This has proved to be very handy in such disciplines as... oooh, I don't know...Physics?

Prior to the implementation of the SI system, stuff was measured and calculated in a variety of meaningless and ludicrous ways. Nowadays, using SI, knowing how much stuff you have, and what constitutes it, is as easy as π .

Internationally accepted SI units are[edit | edit source]

  • π....The universal symbol of food.
  • ....Almost but not quite totally different from.
  • Ω....Denotes the magnitude of bowleggedness of a human.
  • ß....The ease with which something accepts lubrication.
  • Θ....This is not the hot tap.
  • Ж....All subsequent values are related to cast-iron bistro tables.
  • Ө....Is about half of.
  • ....Is wonkier than.
  • ....Unit of cowardice, measured in diamonds.
  • ....Can't be bothered to finish.
  • ....Is taller than.
  • λ....Weighs about the same as a teepee.
  • ψ....Units of brightness, measured in candelabra.
  • Ұ....Unit of wobbliness, measured in hula-hoops.
  • @....Unit of cuteness, measured in buttons.
  • #....Unit of traction, measured in rugs.
  • Щ....Unit of cosiness, measured in radiators.
  • ω....Alternative unit of wobbliness, measured in buttocks.
  • Ξ....Unit of crushiness, measured in grapes.
  • Ә....Is upside down compared to.
  • æ....All following this symbol is crap.
  • ~....Things happen (according to Technical University of Denmark).

Previous systems[edit | edit source]

The System Incrediblé replaced the earlier Système Impérial. Although the two appear to have exactly the same acronym, promotors of SI made it clear at the time exactly which was which, and these days only a fool could fail to tell the difference between SI and SI. And it's not at all true that most people have given up and switched to the Metric system.

Merger with ISO[edit | edit source]

Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Systeme Incrediblé. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

In December 2005 the SI and the International Organization for Standardization (abbreviated "ISO", since the people they pay to write acronyms are dyslexic) issued a press statement confirming that had agreed to merge. The new organization, to be named either the International Union of Institutes for Standard Systems (SSIUI) or something swish like Xantia, will have a global reach of in execess of 2300 quires of stupefyingly boring documentation, making it the third-largest boring organization in the world. Such a merger was seen by market observers as inevitable following the August 2005 creation of the Unio Interterrestrialis Nomenclaturae Neolatinae from the IUPAC, IAU, and ICZN, which now controls all aspects of Neo-Latin naming from chemical elements to astronomical features to zoological species.

See also[edit | edit source]