Imperial units

Imperial units are the units of measurement standardized in Britain the nonsensical United States at 11.8 inches a foot; 2.997 feet a yard; and 5,279.3 feet or 1,761.52819486 yards a mile.

History

The first unit of measurement standardized was the foot. King Philip I uploaded an image of his foot to Feet Finder. Instantly obsessed, the people of England printed pictures of his foot and carried them everywhere they went. They began using these images as a reference for distance and size. The King subsequently ordered that all people who did not use his foot as a unit of measurement be decapitated with a mace.

This resulted in an excessive number of people being executed shortly afterward, so the King decided to standardize a smaller unit of measurement. A villager suggested that the foot be divided in ten to create an 'inch', but the suggestion was rejected and deemed treason and he was executed with a guillotine. The King standardized the inch at the length of his largest left toe.

People were struggling to count individual feet for long distances, however. The King started planning a larger unit of measurement that would be useful for measuring long distances. One villager suggested a unit that was 1,000 feet, but other villagers felt that it was awkwardly short. She was also executed by the King for treason. Another villager suggested 10,000 feet, but others commented that it was too long. He was never seen again. Others suggested 5,000, but they were tied to boards and thrown into the ocean. The King standardized it at 5,279.3 feet for no clear reason.

Usage

Most countries use the metric system.

United Kingdom

The imperial system of measurement is frequently used in the United Kingdom; British people are familiar with it and road signs are required to display distances in imperial units. British people find the U.S. measurement system illogical and often incomprehensible. They look upon the latter nation with pity and frequently ridicule the inconsistencies of the imperial system.

United States

Americans do not know what the metric system is. When asked, one person responded, "Metric system? Isn't that what they use in Canada?".