Undictionary:r

	Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid.
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R

Ragtime

The onset of menstruation.

Railing Linoleum

Railing linoleum, or Rails Plasticum commonly refers to the ancient Linoleum Wars, which replaced guns with flimsy plastic words. Arguing with linoleum was seen between 1421 A.D and 1422 A.D, due to a global artillery shortage. Indeed the use of linoleum insults had an aphrodisiac effect on the only warring power at the time, New Zealand. Notable differences from regular linoleum include lack of recyclability (you can't take back what you've said!), flavour, detail, and origin. Note- Though regular linoleum is boring and resorts to pixelated interpretations of more chic flooring materials, railing linoleum conveys subliminal messages hidden within detailed unrealistic images.

Rain

Rain is God crying, most likely because of something you did. Direction of rainfall is dependent on whether you are upside down. Invented in 1703 BC, to get rid of the problem with dusty roads. Many believe there to be a connection between the origins of rain and snow.

Rain is also God taking a piss. This is why in Winter it rains a lot, because he has been dry all summer.

Raisin

1. Really, Really, Really old grapes. I mean really left out in the sun to become like dried up old wood ticks on your Labrador retriever's back.
2. a Prune after processing by Dr. Shrinker

Ramen Noodles

1. Ramen noodles are disgusting. They were invented by the Chinese to teach Marco Polo a lesson, but the crazy white bastard believed the stuff to be delicious, and was quite successful in integrating Ramen into the collective eating regimen of chavs the world over.

2. (Ramblespeak for the phrase) "Roman Numerals".

3. Chinese technique of composting, it involves pouring boiling water onto grass and/or hedge trimmings.

Rambling

N. Walking outdoors over hills n stuff Adj. Starting concisely and clear, then later losing consistence and ending up being just a whole lot of words shoved together to try to give something a bit of a definition, but ultimately ending up as a difficult-to-follow meaning, kinda like a transgressive stream-of-conciousness style. And normally "rambling" has connotations that mean you end up talking off-subject, and missing the whole point of what you originally came there for. You know what I mean? It's like waffling or gesticulating or whatever you wanna call it, and should definitely be clamped down on. Hmmm, ah yes, I'm meant to be writing a definition of rambling, aren't I...that's my job as lexicographer innit. Nah, I think SemperBlotto can write better definitions than me. I just ramble and piss him off when I define English words. Sorry SB, ;0.

Usage note

Rambling is very bad for use in essays, and probably just as bad for writing concise dictionary definitions of words.

Rambo-Football

Invented by Rambo when he realised his son's team was going to lose. Doing what any other normal parent would do, he pulled out his guns and took out the other team, shooting pretty much anything that walked. Then he slid over a few car bonnets for some reason only apparent to him, and made out with a parent, looking as if he had just saved the world. At his son's funeral the next day, he only said, "by God. I am great. I am. I."

Ranch Dressing

1. A condiment used by rednecks as a flavor enhancer for all food types. See also "redneck ketchup".
2. A term used to describe the style of dress commonly seen at a ranch. Usually includes leather boots, spurs, jeans, and chaps. Must include cowboy hat.

Random chance

The process by which Justin Timberlake became famous. The opposite of skill and talent.

Ranga

1. Sub-species of human more closely related to the orangutang. Rangas are considered as the scum of society and a plague to all things... in general. Most easily recognised by the mass of embarrising orange pubic hair on the tops of their heads. Rangas are a menace to society and can only be erradicated via prolonged exposure to sunlight.

Rap

To briskly strike the sensibilities and or intellect with a stick or unpleasant length of rapid self-aggrandising statements . (see crap and pap).

Rape

Giving pleasure to someone who "claims" that she doesn't want it because it is "illicit".

Rap Music

RAP
Rhythmic Affirmation of Pompousness
n., Abbr. RAP

1. The music industry's ISO-430 compliant form of communicating superiority in one or more of the following domains: bling, bitches, rides, dope, booze, and/or sharp cutting things.
2. A talk or seminar given to urban peers by persons of varying ethnicity. Oftentimes a cadence is imposed.
   

Also, R.A.P.
Example: The RAP TPS report confirmed higher than expected third-quater growth.

The worst type of music in existence, consisting of basically "I will either have sex with your girlfriend, shoot you, generally blow your brains out or how much money I stole" (In contrast to the stunning storytelling power of real music like heavy metal or other crap music such as pop). This type of not music was first invented by Vanilla Ice with his smash-hit "Ice, Ice Baby." Once this song became known, any credibility he had with anyone of significance instantly became everything. In conclusion, rap music kicks ass, ya'all feel me, homie?

2.Inherited its name because of a typo. Someone missed out the letter ‘C’ that should be before the ‘R’ of the first word.

Rat bag

A term used by those who like to think they are better than others. It is generally used to describe someone who has commited a menacing act against them, (i.e. stabbing them with kitchen utensils). It appears in dialogue thus: "You're just a little RATBAG". Many use it to describe firemen for some reason. Remember to use this word cautiously. Never fold your arms or lift the front of your foot when you say it.

Real-Time

Any time of the day that isn't 5:55 or 6:66.

Realtor

• 1.A parasitic alien life form that preys exclusively upon those in need of shelter; giving the illusion of intelligence, their behavior is entirely controlled by their rapacious appetite for commissions.
• 2. A job description that always puzzles British people despite receiving countless explanations. They think it is connected with child molestation.

Real Ultimate Power

Power not relegated to being Fake Ultimate Power. Slightly different from Absolute Penultimate Power.

Real Ultimate Power is held by few people

• The mice
• The cats who have cornered the mice
• All generations of the Power Rangers
• And their cats
• All Teletubbies (except for that retard Dipsy)
• The number 5
• Ninjae
• Ammo, the person
• Chuck Norris
• 42

People who claim to have Real Ultimate Power, though only have Not quite so Real Ultimate Power

• God
• God's cat
• Your mum
• Jehovah's Witnesses
• Tony Blair
• Any French person
• Bill Gates

Real life

Real life is an uncommon phenomenon in the society of the 21st Century, which usually involves leaving one's computer, excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, socialising with members of the opposite sex and, eventually, even intercourse. The few people who actually experience the depths of real life can be called lifers.

Reality-distortion field

A powerful, mind-altering energy force produced by certain individuals which causes victims to become susceptible to suggestion from the host. The result is that the victim of a Reality Distortion Field will believe that a certain celebrity is talented and interesting instead of a complete hack or that a certain type of consumer product is better than some other piece of crap. See: Donald Trump, Steve Jobs, Jennifer Lopez and others.

Rear Admiral

1. A Naval officer who admires asses.
2. A naval oficer with an outstanding ass.

Reason

Acute infection of the brain characterised by a swelling of the intellect and spontaneous episodes of good judgement. Fortunately reason has been all but eliminated from the developed world thanks to the efforts of governments and the media to find an effective cure.(also excuse)

Recruitment consultant

Vacuous people who evolved from Estate Agents and yuppies of the 1980’s

Rectal prolapse

Amusing medical condition in which effectively one's arse falls out of one's asshole. Caused by either a dodgy curry or severe laughter (such as one would experience if one was diagnosed with a rectal prolapse). It can be treated with homeopathy or sometimes kicked back into place.

Recursion, Mutual

See Mutual Recursion.

Recursive

See Recursive.

Redaction

CONTENT REMOVED

Redinorome

To dinorome again

Redundant

Importantly essential in its necessity. See also: Redundant, redundancy, and redundant.

Red Rocket

Any rocket of the non-non-red colour. The first was made in 1982 and was named DogHappy.

Referendum

The tail end of a spliff.

Refudiate

There is no such word.

Reggaeton

A ribbed tubular form of pasta, larger than penne but with square-cut ends, often slightly curved.

Regicide

Regicide broadly defines the act of deliberately killing Regis Philbin. In a narrower sense, it is the name of a long running television tradition of murdering beloved talk show hosts. Earlier victims to this tradition include Bob Saget (America's Funniest Home Videos) and Sean Hannity amongst others.

Although it seems to make little sense that Regis Philbin could still be alive after being killed and having his murderer named, it all comes together when you take into account that Regis is undead.

Regime change

Term used by leaders of democratic (?) Western nations as an excuse for declaring all-out war on countries hopelessly unable to defend themselves against overwhelming military force in order to gain control of their oil

Re-imageineer

Someone who reconstructs and/or edits images, in particular photos, usually far away from their original context and/or format.

Religion

A device for people who don't like sleeping in the dark. You put the Religion on your head, and it makes you think that your Mummy is there with you. It is very comforting. Some people never take their Religion off and laugh at people who don't have one. If you are afraid of the dark, you can buy second-hand Religions on the internet. The feeling of having your Mummy there all the time will make you feel Born Again.

Religion Mark II

The Religion Mark II is faster, more powerful, and fits on a smaller head than the Mark I. It's new Faith architecture imparts a feeling of absolute serenity, because your Mummy and Elvis are with you always - (Ghandi and Tupac plug-ins out soon).

Religionist

n.One who is so thoroughly "hopped up" on their particular brand of faith, that they blatantly disregard such core tenets as "Thou shalt not kill" and "Let there be no compulsion in Religion". The fundamental problem, of course, is fundamentalism...which completely removes any hint of either Fun or Mentation from the picture.

Remembrance Day

A day invented after World War I for people to remember the war and feel a bit sad. It was invented by the renowned pacifist, Field Marshall Sir Haig Poppy, so that there would never be any more wars ever again. And there never were, which makes Remembrance Day one of the bestest ideas ever. Hoorah!

Remus, Uncle

Anachronistic father of Oprah. The disputed geneology is often forgotten once they appear in a separated at birth special on E!. Remus starred for years in a series of shows around the theme LIVE! with Uncle Remus with such co-hosts as the Tar Baby and Eleanor Mondale. Remus authored many hymns, spirituals, marches and symphonies. A true renaissance man, he also created several characters that appeared to be white people in black face.

Renault

The Renault is the arch-enemy of French youth. They have been at war with each other for several decades. In October 2004, the French youth discovered fire which gave them the edge they needed. In a few short weeks, the war was ended. Renualt corpses now litter the French country side and France's rivers run black with their blood.

Responsibility

I'd write this definition myself, but I'm too lazy.

Repeat

See Repetition.

Repetition

See Repeat.

Repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition

I think you get the idea.

Restraining order

What most Norwegians give waiters in restaurants to keep from having to order anything since it is customary to bring one's own food when dining out.

Those who have dined in Norway will understand why.

Restroom Washroom Bathroom

In Canadian English and certain other varieties of English, the expressions Restroom, Washroom and Bathroom are close synonyms.

Restroom emphasises the relaxing aspects of the visit to the loo.

• Washroom recalls the importance of hand-washing thereafter.
• Bathroom emphasises the spa aspects of the visit to the loo.

Resume

Paperwork prepared by an applicant for a job.

Résumé

To go on again or to restart.

Retard Larry

An uninteresting person who works at the Burger King Megaconglomerate. He is best known for his pointlessly moronic rendition of the Carol of the Bells

Retire

1. Retire is the French word for surrender, it literally means I quit. The person who does it, usually collects Social security for the rest of their life, and becomes a Hobo or Robot. If both occur they become a Hobot, a mechanical entity powered by whatever small change you give it.
2. Put on a new set of Bridgestones.

Retro

A supposedly 'cool' style that can be summed up in three words : "No. Just, no." Example: Tokyo or George Bush

Reverse Polish Notation

Reverse Polish Notation, 1920 in Jan Łukasiewicz Polish mathematician the by introduced, mathematical notation a operator every operands its all of follows wherein is. It Postfix notation as known is also: Wikipedia from. "2 2 +" "2 + 2" for stands: Example. (RPN see also)

Reverse racism

See msicar esrever.

Rhetorical question

A question of uttermost importance that you have an obligation to answer, don't you?

Rhyme

Ryhmes are words that keep proper meter and time. They can be simple or sublime. They can incite love, and they can incite crime. They're always free; they don't cost a dime (unless it's an album, that's a bell of a different chime). Rhymes aren't always words, sometimes actions (see mime). As far as poetry goes, they are prime. Some poetry lacks rhyme; this crap is written by gutter slime with no talent or mind.

Rhythm

The memory of conception.

Rice

A small Asian potato.

Riddim

A chronic deficiency of riddim is often a symptom of being white. If you suspect that your child has a riddim deficiency, seek medical attention at once.

Right Honourable

A misleading term, as it is usually applied to Conservative Politicians, who are seldom right and never honourable.

Rigor Mortis

A truly amazing girl, the forerunner of all geeks and too damn perfect. Her brain turned out to be her downfall as one day she got so bored in school Rigor simply stiffened up and was on closer examination revealed to be dead. Not to be confused with Rigour Mortis, the mother of all clubbers, who died of brain shrinkage caused by the loud, repetetive music and retina overstimulation. Neurologists thought she had dopamine inabsorption problems, but when they cut a hole in her skull to see they found diddly squat.

Ring a wad

verb to ring a wad. Pleasurable bedtime leisure activity popular with single males, especially juveniles (also,sack racing).

Ritalout

The antidote to Ritalin. Commonly used to get hyper and beat the shit out of everyone, even if the person is not using Ritalin.

Rjb

Rjb (Or a misspelling of a Rbj, Retarded Blowjob) is an animal found within the depths of hell that is rather disturbing and atrocious. Any sightings should be reported to your local police agency immediately. Failure to do so could result in murder of any kind.

RJ45 Ethernet Socket

This piece of equipment can be utilized in co-operation with other network gear including Cat5e Ethernet Cables and NICs Network Interface Card. Such setups can provide the flow of data such as viruses, spyware & adware to travel between computers linked up -thus ensuring you obtain the maximum potential of such files/data. To find out the most useful feature of the Network with RJ45 Ethernet Socket setup, see T for trapping data.

Robace

Name of a font family, where the serif is quite long and curly. E-mail addresses popularized the use of the character 'a' from the Robace family (a-robace in short). Example: the character b of the Robace family.

Robin Hood

Robin Hood and His Merry Men

Robin Hood lived in England in woods outside of Nottingham at the time of King John. Some people accuse him of being a socialist economic egalitarian and that he stole from the rich to give to the poor. This is incorrect and Robin Hood actually just stole back money the sheriff had coerced from citizens in the form of taxation - Robin Hood was a libertarian or like the Ragnar pirate guy in Atlas Shrugged.

Robin in da 'Hood

Robin in da Hood (also known as Kool Rob-H or the Da Tree-Twitcher) was a famous Northumbrian rap artist, who passed the blingage of the rich to da righteous poor. Sho' nuff.

Robotron

A subatomic particle which gives a robot's arse its shininess - for example Bender has a very high robotron count. Has an atomic mass of 2084. Those with a count of precisely 2-0-0-0 are classified as 'Robot Lover'. Run for Cover. Has soothing robot voice. See also: Daffodil.

Rock

To cause someone or something to swing or sway... by hitting them with it. (Apologies to Johnny Hart for ripping off "Wiley's Dictionary" in B.C.)

Rock 'n' roll

1. A genre of popular music that celebrates adolescent frivolity and excess.
2. Amplified hyperbole or cliche of geriatric vintage.

Rock Music

Probably the only type of music where, if you go to a concert, they will shout at you for coming. Despite this, most of the world's greatest artist were rockers. These include: The Dungbeatles, The Falling Stones, UASWELL (often referred to for shortness sake, UTOO) and Piasco.

Rod Hull

1) A British children's entertainer, usually found with his hand up the rear of Emo Phillips. Met his end in a tragic accident while partaking in his favourite sport of base jumping without a parachute.

2) The act of cleaning the drains of the winner of the World's Bestest City award, Hull-on-Earth.

Roe v. Doe

Roe v. Doe was a landmark court case, in which both the plaintiff and defendant were both Anonymous. The conflict in the case was unknown and both Roe and Doe remain anomnyous to this day, though some speculate they are related to Deep Throat.

ROI

Return on Investment. A term used by people who wear suits and members of the Republican Party. ROI means getting more then you put in.

ROI is the french word for king. Originally, the Republicans wanted to invest in the king of France, but the French Revolution put an end to that deal.

Rokysop

(from the word Royksopp)-adj. = something you should have heard of; Formed when someone truly stupid and gay (let's say Vj Zara on MTV Romania) said "I saw Rokysop live,I have the Rokysop album, Rokysop were really great at the VMAs"; It has similar meaning to "DOH!" and can be used instead of it.(ex:Mindy says: "If you pick your nose obsessively, you might look like an elephant later". In response, Sharon says:"Doh! everyone knows that. Girl, you are SO rokysop!"

Romansh

Romansh is a language reported to be found in remote parts of south-east Switzerland. It remains on bank notes in the country despite the fact that it has no native speakers, and in fact, according to a recent study, no words at all. Some have claimed that actually Romansh is not a spoken language but rather a communicative way of wiping one's arse. Others dismissed this as shit.

Rome

A place where, once people enter it, they use the fact that they are there as an excuse to do anything they want.

Romula

1. The home of the Romulans, a race who intend to destroy Earth as soon as they overcome the exceptional good luck of Captain Picard and inconvenient plots in Star Trek.
2. A refreshing yet sharp beverage made from blended computer harddrives and USB hubs. Also known as Ramula. If drunk, it allows anyone to fix their computer, understand what computer salesmen are talking about, and install $oldOut Software on an XP Home Edition without having to edit all the file names or reburn the disks. However, it does not allow you to make AOL a usable Internet provider, which is impossible.

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah is an internationally celebrated holiday for college fraternities. The holiday derives its roots from Middle Earth, from the word rush meaning drunken frenzy and the word Hashish, a narcotic derived from pickles. The holiday is most notably observed by Hobbits, Iraqi Terrorists who join the local Jewish Community Centre for the "networking opportunities," and Jewish people.

ROT26

Secret code in which you invoke the ROT13 algorithm twice, in order to provide much more robust security than one round of ROT13 on its own. Effectively replaces each letter with itself, after which you bury the message in your backyard.

Roth IRA

A Northern Irish rebel group led by a former Van Halen front man.

Roughty Tufty Fight Club

A children's animation version of the Brad Pitt film 'Fight Club' . A band of stray squirrels give up protecting children crossing their local speed alley to kicking the rodent shit out of each other instead. Also features plenty of raspberry ripple fake flavoured blood.

Round number

1. Zero. It's round digit too.
2. Eight. Double round number/digit.
3. Eighty. Round-like number.
4. Eighty-eight. Double round-like number.
5. Infinity. Of course.
6. Forty two. It's not round digit, but we should add this num. Of course.

Roundtoit

A difficult item to obtain, but once obtained it helps its owner complete many long and tedious projects.

Rovighil

A word created by someone who has just found Undictionary and clicks 'edit' on the R page.

Roy

A roy (pronounced /ˈGarblgarbl/) or press (Hiberno-English) is a type of cabinet, often made of wood, used indoors to store household objects such as food, crockery and gay people, and protect them from dust and dirt.

As the name suggests, this piece of furniture was originally a simple board or table on which to place gays or mugs - recorded use of such a name dates back to at least the Triassic period. For the last few centuries, "Roy" has referred to a storage area enclosed by doors.

The term roy originally was used to describe an open shelved side table for displaying plates, gays and saucers. These open roys typically had between one and three display tiers, and at the time, a drawer or multiple drawers fitted to it. The word roy gradually came to mean a closed piece of furniture.

Royal Enfield

An enclosed grassed area where monarchs keep chickens.

Royal Rainboww

The opposite of Shoop da whoop, which is pure win, the Royal Rainbow is pure fail. It is created when one Shoops Da Woop,and the resulting lazer merges with a taco, creating devastation far more powerful than that of most other lazers, but the taco can cause you to swallow your lazer. It can also be induced by simply firing your lazer at Colin Mockery.

Royalty

(Definition applicable where the relevant country has an aristocratic class.)

Royalty is a term to describe an eccentric family of the upper aristocracy.

• In contrast, any other eccentric family is simply "dysfunctional".

ROYALTY IN BRITAIN, SUCH AS THE QUEEN AND THAT RETARD PRINCE GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY ARE JUST COMPLETE FOOLS WHO ARE RICH AND FAMOUS FOR ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING AND SHOULD BE IGNORED FROM NOW ON UNLESS THE QUEEN WILL LET ME HAVE A BIT OF A GO ON HER BILLY BONKERS.

Royksopp

A once popular beat combo that fell out of favour when people realised that they couldn't spell it.

RP

Urine belonging to more than one person including oneself.

RPN

Stands for Repulsive Polish Nation. A common racist acronym originally coined by Baron Otto Von Bismark. It is said that Bismark first used this phrase whilst trying to comprehend how to add 2 + 2 on a HP48GX Graphing Scientific Calculator.

RTFM

(FLA)(IT) Four letter abbreviation frequently used by helpdesk staff in communication with (l)users. It means "Repeat the first message" and is a request to repeat the description of the problem experienced. Users who have used helpdesks a lot are aware that this is the cue to repeat their problem very slowly and carefully so the helpdesk person can write it out in longhand.

Rubber

The Pope does not agree with the use of these products, as they are useful for child control. All you have to do is place one over the child, and it is incapacitated. Other uses may involve scaring your granny and blowing up for a child's birthday party.

Rubber stamp legislature

A rubber stamp legislature is a governmental item of office supply that, through the act of stamping, declares a document as law. It is usually given to dictators and janitors so that they may enact laws as they see fit without any form of deliberation. A good example of a rubber stamp legislature, is the canadian parliament, which due to budget restraints has been replaced by a rubber stamp.

Rubrik's Curb Crawler

A puzzle that can drive you to either prostitution or become someone who seeks it instead.

Rubik's square

The two-dimensional version of a Rubiks cube. The idea of the puzzle is to turn the square until each of the four sides have all three of their lines the same color (colors are usually peach, indigo, argent and chartreuse).

Ruby

a very annoying sister. sometimes used to wipe ur but with after going to the toilet

Ruby Thursday

Still waiting for a song to set her on her way.

Rudimentary

A crude rock formation.

Rug (physics)

The rug is the SI unit of traction. A rug is equivalent to the amount of traction needed to prevent the sliding of a sock-wearing timber wolf pursuing an eight-year-old around a standard-sized kitchen table. It is equivalent to 5.5 English ointments.

The rug is rarely used by itself. Most commonly, it is used in calculations involving the Bug-Rug, a measure of snugness.

Rugby

1. Skin burns usually on elbows typically attracted during rough intercourse.
2. A game played by men with funny shaped balls.
3. More intelligent version of American Football

Rum , Sodomy and The Lash

British Second World War entertainers whose stage act is now believed to have undermined Allied morale in the Far East.

Run-on Sentience

A character or other fictional construct which continues along with the same lines throughout a work or series of works carrying more than one idea without any clear delineation or pause in the development of personality or action when a more careful characterization would have been advantageous. Examples include: Jar-Jar Banks, Dr. Watson, Majel Barrett, Captain Kangaroo, and Bertie Wooster.