Portal:Religion

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Financial)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Religion Portal
He knows what you did last thursday

Religion generally involves the following or worship of a creed or deity in which one has optimistically attributed supernatural powers. "True Believers" are often labeled as schizophrenics or having some other neurological disorders in certain scientific-minded and rational circles, although the loudest among them tend to be derided for their poor fashion sense and general smelliness. According to a secular understanding of history, religion was invented by tribal chieftans at least two million years ago in order to control and exploit their fellow tribal members, and it was going strong in the Western World until that separation of Church and State nonsense. In the third world, it's business as usual. God is often portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, although some religions would prefer you not portray him at all.

Featured Article
Oldmanandboy.jpg

Come here little grandson, and pull up a chair, ol' grandpa has to say something to you. What story am I going to be telling this time? Hah ha, no story tonight, Jimmy, I'm going to lecture you on something very important. It's time to learn about a little subject called "filial piety". Don't start fussing now, it's a very important subject to learn about when squirts like you start to grow up.

What is filial piety, Grandpa?

I was just about to get into that, Jimmy. Filial piety is a simple enough concept, often embraced by popular religions such as Confucianism and Christianity. Now, you're Christian but you don't know what filial piety is, right? That's because the heads of your religion decided to muck up the phrase and replace it with a simplistic platitude such as "love your mom and pop". But I digress, I'll talk to you about religion some other day.

Featured Entity
Fundiemag.jpg

AFM, the magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist [1].

By "modern" they mean "well before the Enlightenment", or as it says at the top of the Editor's page, "Because God Loved the Dark Ages".

The publishers of AFM felt that the views of America's oppressed Christian majority weren't getting out, so the magazine was started just for them.…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more...)
Featured Image
Jesu rifle.jpg
Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Religion in the News
HebrewhottiesPhoto-haim-zach008 A.jpg
Gnome-speakernotes.png
Listen to audio (file info)

BNEI BRAK, Israel -- Local conservative rabbis are sick with worry, anxiety and unease at the increasing popularity of practical, comfortable fashions; more so even than the worry, anxiety and unease that causes their usual kvetching. After much bickering they have responded with the tact, sensitivity and delicate touch for which fundamentalists of all stripes are known; by burning down stores that sell offensive clothing and spraying bleach on women that Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv refers to as "...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!".…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more...)
Quote of the Day

“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”

God on Apatheism
Did You Know?
Zoroaster drives Uhuru's Mazda?
Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
Zoroaster drives Uhuru's Mazda?
Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
Further Reading
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.