~ George Bush on Industrialization“Industrialization is Agriculture gone wrong”
~ Some farmer guy on Industrialization“OH YEAH!”
~ Coolade Pitcher on Industrialization“Woo-Hoo! That's a mighty-fine Industrialization”
~ An old guy in a stripper bar on Industrialization“If Industrialization never happened, do we still blame the corporations on everything?”
~ Some Hippie-dude on Industrialization“What's Industrialization?”
~ 15 year old ecuadorian kid on Industrialization
What is the Industrial age?
The Industrial age is simply the time that people must've talked about when they were ironing their clothes with a rock, making weapons one at a time, and writing a book and having to do it all over again for just a lousy payment of eight dollars. but the real news is, The Industrial age was a fable. it never happened, so how did we get to where we are today? We didn't. We just took credit for what the dinosaurs had patented over a decade ago. Maybe that's why we never really got key-making down, and never made a T.V. remote finder.
What can you do about the Industrial age?
All you can do is try your best to spell it right. Maybe do a project on how the cotton-jin substituted slaves by sticking cotton in it instead of the slaves; the slaves were already going extinct and we had already run out of Indians.
How else was there a "boom" of demands for slaves, then cotton needs, then slaves again? And you wonder why some of the freed slaves made a new contry called "Liberia" in Africa?
Archeologists have always been able to find what the dinosaurs had left behind. They strip every thing that the dinosaurs had, Even their bones. Here are some of the most recent findings of the Archeologists.
- The Cell Phone.
- Was first found in the 1800s and also helped Luis and Clark get a ride back to where they started.
- The Atom bomb.
- Was used to put down a Native American Invasion in Russia. And you thought that we were the only ones capable of stealing.
- The Automobile.
- Was actually used by Dinosaurs to get across the mexican border. Also was first stolen from a raptor on the East coast by a man named Selvester Stelone.
- Greeting cards.
- This meaningless invention was first used by humans to make another person bleed to death by paper-cuts.
- The Toilet.
- Dogs used to be pets of Dinosaurs, and they let their furry friends drink out of the toilets.
- The internet.
- All technological advances on computers and the internet have been made by the Dinosaurs. Even though they are seemingly patient and modest for lending the human race their computers, they still ask about when they will get them back, and the human population ignore these questions like Tele-marketers and Bill-collectors; two sub-species that branched off of the human race a little over a century ago.
Note: We still haven't found the T.V. remote yet. We think we find it, only to lose it again in five minutes.
How to change your life as of now
You don't need to change your life after you read this artical, even though the whole world is composed of a big videogame (what people get from The Matrix), That we evolved from a mutant fish f###### a mutant frog (What kids learn in Earth Science), and that the whole world is run by a bunch of nut-job generals who think that a disagreement of trade is a good reason to start a war; It's still good to put in retrospect of how completely f##### over you are as of today. Well, we all were screwed since birth, but now you should be able to realize that.
Note:We all know that has nothing to do with this subject, but we just like to make you self-conscience for the rest of your life.
Signs that the next item was found
There are ways to tell when the Archeologist have found a new item and are about to market it as their own.
- Ads are put out in the newspaper to get people to think that scientists are "Developing" a new "Technological Advance"
- this is usually to introduce the idea of having this new item, and usually to brain-wash people into wanting to buy it.
- People get less bills in the mail to ignore.
- normally to let you gain money that wasn't already getting sapped by the government so that you have extra cash to buy this new item.
- Some of your friends tell you that they "found out" about this item, and have "ways of getting it first"
- We think that these people are actually working for the Archeologist's to get you to buy their items as soon as they come out so that you can have the chance to "rub it in other people's faces"
- You keep hearing rumors about this new item.
- Usually due to a "leak" in the developing room.
What did I just say?
There are terms that were used that normally don't get used in everyday life. These terms are as follows.
- Developing room-
- A room where the "Archeologists" mass produce items that they have found.
- Time travelers from another demension dedicated on destroying our world through "improvements" in technology.
- An empire of reptiles that dominated the universe three billion years ago. Other races periodically leave messages that never get returned by the Dinosaurs, every other races think that this is rude and await a call back from them.
Does any of "What did I just say?" have anything to do with this artical?
Actually, no. But we like to be so random that we have to make a section like this just to not get this article deleted. It Could be relevant to the artical, but then a paradox would most likely form from the ashes of ignored jokes and then envelope all of Uncyclopedia
Progress good. Production good. Factories, planes, trains, heavy industry, light industry, military goods ,industrial goods, MODERNITY!!!!11mmmm, the gristly sound of bones snapping underneath the tracked wheels of the industrial furnace. ZEITGEISTGEZUNDHEIT..grrnnhhhh,, yeahhhhh, give it to me babyyy