User:Skate1168/Microsoft Office source code

“It seems there are to much spelling errors; do you want to preform a automated spellcheck?”
~ Clippy

“it seemz tere iz tew mutch spelin erorz, du ya wan 2 runz a atomatad spel chak”
~ Hypocrisy on Microsoft Office

The enemy.

Microsoft is a passionate proponent of proprietary programs, and they staunchly stand by their strange and stupid (some argue) stance on not openly stating stuff related to their software. So there was much petulant pouting and strenuous stomping about in frustration when an elite group of hackers breached the source code for Microsoft Office. They were perfectly stymied.

This team of hackers, with their dashing good looks and roguish--you know what? Screw it. I don't like to brag, but, y'know, it was me who hacked this source code. All me. Sure, I'd like to say it was me and my bros, sure, but in all reality those my friends from the World of Warcraft forums did JACK SQUAT in this operation. They were all like, "Oh, I'll help you as soon as I level up my epic my mount!" Just screw them. My epic mount is their mother, and if she leveled up to be any fatter, she might not be able to walk.

So I present to you, fellow Internet, the source code I got from reversed engineering with my elite hacking skills. No need to thank me. Just doing my job. OPEN SOURCE RULES!!!!!131

-- 1337c4kes 0010000100100100

The Code (Top Secret!)[edit | edit source]

    #include <iostream.h>
    #include <vengeance.h>
    #include <world/domination.h>
    #include <monopoly.h>
    #include <evil.h>
    #include <office.h>
    #include <clippy.h>
    #include <annoying.h>
    #define USER_FRIENDLY NULL
    int main(argc,argv)
    {
        while (!CRASHED)
        {
            initialize();
            open_document(argv);
            do_nothing_loop();
            popup_clippy(clippy_quotes[rand(0,666)]);
            if (save_button_is_pressed())
            {
                popup_clippy("Word is about to crash. There is no chance of saving your document.");
                popup_clippy("Would you like to play a game?", "Yes", "No");
            }
            if (new_document_is_pressed())
            {
                stuff_hard_drive(66666);
                wait(6666);
                create_new_document();
            }
            if (key_pressed)
            {
                popup_clippy("It seems you are typing, need some help??");
            }
            if (quitted())
            {
                popup_clippy("Don't go! I want to play with you!!!");
                return 0;
            }
        }
        return CRASHED;
    }

Developers. Need we say more?

• Detect "non-genuine" products

• Gather user information and credit card numbers

• Cripple core system components

• Deploy legal team

• Launch civil litigation

Estimated time:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.

Installing Windows has never been ~~easier~~ easy

All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type
it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.

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