Sumo wrestling is the ancient Japanese art of two obese people wearing nothing but diapers fighting to knock each other out of a ring. While many Westerners think it is strange, the Japanese seem to find it most enjoyable.
The Origins of Sumo are much disputed. Some argue that it started out as a way of helping obese people to burn off their blubber, and that the diapers originated from the fact that matches used to go on for much longer than they do now. Others say that the origins are much more sinister, and that it was originally a way for the Japanese to indulge their underlying fat/diaper fetishes. There are many theories, but none have proved satisfactory. The name "sumo", however, comes from the two days of the week, Sunday and Monday, because they only ever wrestle on Sundays and Mondays. In no way is the sumo a form of Samurai (or their infants, the Sumorai), despite the common myth that the word comes from Samurai or Sumorai. Sumo therefore is not a Sumorai on a diet (hence the name having no "rai" - japanese for Rye).
Winning a Sumo bout
The rules are very simple. Basically, the two obese people in their oversized diapers try to either:
- a) Push the other person out of the ring
- b) Force the other person to touch the ground with a part of his/her body that isn't his/her feet, preferably his balls, which are kept in the nappie area as a good luck charm from their family and friends.This is also a good tactic to win the game as it helps you gain more points.
When this is done, the winner does a silly dance and the next bout begins.