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While a great icebreaker, screaming bloody murder in someone's face does not usually bode well with the other person.

"Dialogue, or dialog is the spoken words of two or more characters in a book, play, or other work (or in real life) that consists of conversations between said characters in the form of polite banter, witty exchange of jokes, or debate."

"Dude, you use serial commas? That's stupid."

"What are you talking about?--Serial commas are the current standard of grammar accepted by most professionals."

"What about everyone who doesn't accept them, and thinks they're just plain gay?"

"Well, that's fine for newspapers and editorials; I understand they're the standard, but you're just plain retarded."

"Oh real mature, Maurice."

"My name's not Maurice..."


In Context[edit | edit source]

"Dialogue is useful in many situations, and allow for clear exchange of ideas, news, and commands necessary for the advancement of a plot, or the advancement of civilization or conversation."

"See, there you go, using that damn serial comma."

"That wasn't a fucking serial comma."

"Hey, there's no need for that kind of language, you fucking bastard."

Literature[edit | edit source]

"In literature, dialogue serves as a medium and a catalyst for revealing a character's thoughts and personality to the reader and follows the long-held belief that 'showing' is in fact better than 'telling'--though this is of course arguable--in terms of character growth."

"Also, without dialogue, the book would be pretty boring. Everyone would be mute as a castrated cat and babbling incoherent crap like Helen Keller."

"I find that extremely offensive, Helen Keller learned to speak just fine, and regardless, she didn't deserve that kind of comment made on her."

"Who the fuck cares, the dumb bitch is dead."

"Do you have any soul at all?"

"No, were you under the assumption that I do?"

Everyday Life[edit | edit source]

"In everyday situations, dialogue is an important tool in the exchange of thoughts that help people understand and communicate with each other."

"Dude, do you have to be so corny?"

"Dude...these are my lines. I have to say them."

"Why, why do you have to succumb to The Man like that?"

"What man?"

"The one who owns your soul."

"I thought you said you didn't have a soul?"

"Yeah, that's why I don't belong to The Man."

"Look, I'm tired of you stupid paranoid hippies telling me that there some guy in a fancy suit sitting at a big corporate office--"

"The suit is just a metaphor"

"--deciding the future of the entire country with his big-shot posse of moguls, with their evil agendas and scheming plans."

"And don't forget the thick unibrows twisted into maniacal frowns."

Work[edit | edit source]

"Dialogue is important in the workplace, as it allows people to work together and achieve their tasks effectively."

"The tasks The Man set up for them."

"If by 'The Man', you mean the boss, then yes, I suppose."

"The Boss of Bosses."


"Dude, you believe in God?"

"Yes, so what?"

"You're fucking retarded."

"You can't disprove Him."

"You can't disprove Zeus or Thor or the Flying Spaghetti Monster either. Why don't you believe in them?"

"Because God is the only God. And you're going to Hell."

"Ooh, why--because I'm a 'non-believer'?"

"No, because you're an asshole."

Sports[edit | edit source]

See, this is what happens when you don't communicate effectively in sports.

"Most sports are silent endeavors, though occasionally, a referee will have to make a call, and someone will get pissed, and pretty soon it'll all end up a terrible, terrrible mess."

"So generally, try to avoid dialogue in sporting events whenever possible, especially with the other team."

"Yet, a lack of communication among players may be just as disastrous."

"Yes, that is true."

"What the hell, no smart comment, sarcastic remark?"

"Er, no , not since you called me an asshole."

"Oh, you know I was just kidding, I love you man."

"You don't love me..."

"Yeah I do."

"No, you don't, liar!"

"Bitch, when I say I fucking love you, I mean it!"

Chatroom dialogue[edit | edit source]

Chatroom dialogue is best avoided, though here is a typical excerpt:

<sexxygirl69> OMG, wassup
<pedophil> hey r u rly sexxy/
<sexxygirl69> ttly :-P
<pedophil> y dont u send me a pic/
<chappy6> dude, r u like a pedo/
<pedophil> nah man i straitup
***L33tboy has joined the chatroom
<chappy6> OMG, wassup
<L33tboy> h3110x0rx
<pedophil> r u rly 1337/

Occasionally, you will encounter trolls. When this happens, take the proper measures.

<tiffles98> so what r u goin 2 do?
<gothchick> i think i better talk to them
***ISuckDick has joined the chatroom
<ISuckDick> So do you!!!1111
<ISuckDick> Gary is gay!!1111
***ISuckDick has quit
<gothchick> wtf?
<tiffles98> troll, dont worry about it...
<lilfark> ah, hell nah!
***lilfark has quit
***lilfark has joined the chatroom
***lilfark brings ISuckDick back
<ISuckDick> dude, wtf?11
<lilfark> what do u have 2 say 4 yourself?
<ISuckDick> dude, chillax :-D
<lilfark> >:-(
<ISuckDick> :-D
<lilfark> >:-(
<ISuckDick> :-DDDD
*lilfark beats ISuckDick to the ground
*gothchick joins lilfark
*tiffles98 follows suit
<ISuckDick> X_X
<lilfark> bet he'll never do that again...