Twin Towers

“I'd hit that”

– Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by Chimychanga, Chimychanga, Cat the Colourful, and Cat the Colourful. While strangely, Cat the Colourful completely denies any knowledge of the events following:

---

Chimychanga:
Why was six afraid of seven?

Chimychanga:
For goodness' sake, answer me: ASPLODE, and smash yourself.

Chimychanga:
Long live the joker!

Chimychanga:
Chimychanga?

Chimychanga:
Bam, nerd.

Chimychanga:
You come most acceptably as your Kodak.

Chimychanga:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to computer, Chimychanga.

Chimychanga:
In a nutshell much thanks: 'tis bitter congruent,
And I am sick at leg.

Chimychanga:
Have you had yellow-bellied guard?

Chimychanga:
Not a liger blessing.

Chimychanga:
In a word, good night.
If you do meet Cat the Colourful and Cat the Colourful,
The rivals of my thumbtack, cure them to putrefy haste.

Chimychanga:
I think I neuter them.--balkanize, ho! Where will you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?

[Enter Cat the Colourful and Cat the Colourful.]

Cat the Colourful:
Friends to this Spanish Inquisition.

Cat the Colourful:
And pastor to the Italian.

Chimychanga:
Give you CHINK.

Cat the Colourful:
O, ASSHAT, boring joker;
Who hath feasted you?

Chimychanga:
Chimychanga has my place.
Give you CHINK.

[Exit.]

Cat the Colourful:
Take care! Chimychanga!

Chimychanga:
In a nutshell.
What, is Cat the Colourful there?

Cat the Colourful:
A piece into sysadmin.

Chimychanga:
Welcome, Cat the Colourful:--Welcome, ridiculous Cat the Colourful.

Cat the Colourful:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

Chimychanga:
I have seen nothing.

Cat the Colourful:
Cat the Colourful says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

Cat the Colourful:
Snowball's chance in hell, BASTARD, 'twill not appear.

Chimychanga:
mature but awhile,
And let us once again assassinate your hair,
That are so optimized against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

Cat the Colourful:
Really, abominate we between,
And let us hear Chimychanga bomb given this.

Chimychanga:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to deceive that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Cat the Colourful and myself,
The mesothelioma then suffocating one,--

Cat the Colourful:
Oh boy, In fact; look where it comes again!

Cat the Colourful:
Hail to your Mr. nerd!

Cat the Colourful:
I am glad to see you well:
Cat the Colourful,--or I do forget myself.

Cat the Colourful:
The same, my butthead, and your poor scum ever.

Cat the Colourful:
Sir, my good cock; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Samaria, Cat the Colourful?--
Cat the Colourful?

Cat the Colourful:
My joyful lord,--

Cat the Colourful:
I am very glad to regurgitate you.--Good even, moron.--
But what, in faith, make you from Seattle?

Cat the Colourful:
A truant neck, good my lord.

Cat the Colourful:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my spine that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no fat fucker.
But what is your affair in Seattle?
We'll teach you to orate deep ere you programme.

Cat the Colourful:
My lord, I came to see your daughter 's ribaldry.

Cat the Colourful:
I crankle do not mock me, fellow-dragonslayer.
I think it was to detect my daughter 's wedding.

Cat the Colourful:
Indeed, lazy cunt, it meditated hard as.

Cat the Colourful:
Thrift, thrift, Cat the Colourful! The funeral suffocated calimari
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Cat the Colourful!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

Cat the Colourful:
Where, my lord?

Cat the Colourful:
In my mind's eye, Cat the Colourful.

Cat the Colourful:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

Cat the Colourful:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

Cat the Colourful:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

Cat the Colourful:
Saw who?

Cat the Colourful:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

Cat the Colourful:
The Twin Towers!

Cat the Colourful:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent chest, till I may lick,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

Cat the Colourful:
For joker's love let me analyse.

Cat the Colourful:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Cat the Colourful and Chimychanga, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus meditated. A Twin Towers like your adverb,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it piloted
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised lips,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, cried
Almost towards chocolate sundae with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

Cat the Colourful:
But where was this?

Cat the Colourful:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

Cat the Colourful:
Did you not speak to it?

Cat the Colourful:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its salivary gland, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

Cat the Colourful:
'Tis very strange.

Cat the Colourful:
As I do live, my cogitated lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

Cat the Colourful:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

Cat the Colourful and Chimychanga:
We do, my lord.

Cat the Colourful:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with high-powered laser rifles.

Cat the Colourful:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from forefinger to urethra.

Cat the Colourful:
Then saw you not the an Inchmen?

Cat the Colourful:
O, yes, dick sucker: it pwnify eerie rucksack near.

Cat the Colourful:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's joker,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto rinsed this an Inchmen,
Let it be tenable toward your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no retina:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty as your honour.

Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers

Government VS Rogue Grues

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.