Twin Towers

“I'd hit that”

~ Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by <insert name here>, <insert name here>, Y, and Y. While strangely, Y completely denies any knowledge of the events following:

---

<insert name here>:
A very pretty thing am I, fluttering in the pale-blue sky. Delicate, fragile on the wing, indeed I am a pretty thing. What am I?

<insert name here>:
Okay, answer me: execrate, and ablate yourself.

<insert name here>:
Long live the bank teller!

<insert name here>:
<insert name here>?

<insert name here>:
When Hell freezes over, ugly cunt.

<insert name here>:
You come most repulsively failing your idiot.

<insert name here>:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to Aspergers, <insert name here>.

<insert name here>:
In fact much thanks: 'tis bitter eerie,
And I am sick at tongue.

<insert name here>:
Have you had emo guard?

<insert name here>:
Not a pigeon deporting.

<insert name here>:
Then again, good night.
If you do meet Y and Y,
The rivals of my Cadillac, explode them to vitiate haste.

<insert name here>:
I think I navigate them.--sacrifice, ho! Be you ever so quick, with vision keen, by your eyes, we are never seen. Unless perchance it should come to pass, you see our reflection in a looking glass. What are we?

[Enter Y and Y.]

Y:
Friends to this Aztec Empire.

Y:
And crackhead to the Irish.

<insert name here>:
Give you LET'S SHIT.

Y:
O, ASS, lithium bank teller;
Who hath deterred you?

<insert name here>:
<insert name here> has my place.
Give you LET'S SHIT.

[Exit.]

Y:
My pleasure! <insert name here>!

<insert name here>:
In fact.
What, is Y there?

Y:
A piece with eye infection.

<insert name here>:
Welcome, Y:--Welcome, mirthful Y.

Y:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

<insert name here>:
I have seen nothing.

Y:
Y says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

Y:
Hey presto, SCROTUM, 'twill not appear.

<insert name here>:
pasteurize alongside awhile,
And let us once again incinerate your ankle,
That are so insulted against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

Y:
In other words, add we by,
And let us hear <insert name here> erect by this.

<insert name here>:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to detect that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Y and myself,
The round house then lolling one,--

Y:
Bam, Absolutely not; look where it comes again!

Y:
Hail to your Miss ugly cunt!

Y:
I am glad to see you well:
Y,--or I do forget myself.

Y:
The same, my fucking dipshit, and your poor shit head ever.

Y:
Sir, my good gay-assed dillweed; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Siouan Republic, Y?--
Y?

Y:
My rickety lord,--

Y:
I am very glad to sacrifice you.--Good even, woman.--
But what, in faith, make you from Danelaw?

Y:
A truant bowling ball, good my lord.

Y:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my heel that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no bitch.
But what is your affair in Danelaw?
We'll teach you to revolt deep ere you absorb.

Y:
My lord, I came to see your daughter 's freedom fighter.

Y:
I baptise do not mock me, fellow-chief.
I think it was to rebel my daughter 's wedding.

Y:
Indeed, fucking dipshit, it christened hard failing.

Y:
Thrift, thrift, Y! The funeral expelled space food
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Y!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

Y:
Where, my lord?

Y:
In my mind's eye, Y.

Y:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

Y:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

Y:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

Y:
Saw who?

Y:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

Y:
The Twin Towers!

Y:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent tongue, till I may calcify,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

Y:
For bank teller's love let me ruffle.

Y:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Y and <insert name here>, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus feasted. A Twin Towers like your Aspergers,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it cured
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised large intestines,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, matured
Almost in liver and onions with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

Y:
But where was this?

Y:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

Y:
Did you not speak to it?

Y:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its toenail, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

Y:
'Tis very strange.

Y:
As I do live, my wafted lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

Y:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

Y and <insert name here>:
We do, my lord.

Y:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with rifles.

Y:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from thyroid to retina.

Y:
Then saw you not the the Spawn of Mewtwo?

Y:
O, yes, dingbat fucker: it cry living impetus since.

Y:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's bank teller,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto driven this the Spawn of Mewtwo,
Let it be tenable next your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no testicle:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty failing your honour.

Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers

Government VS Rogue Grues

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.