Twin Towers
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“I'd hit that”
History[edit | edit source]
Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).
"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.
Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers[edit source]
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by <insert name here>, <insert name here>, PIGGY, and PIGGY. While strangely, PIGGY completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
<insert name here>:
When is a door not a door?
<insert name here>:
For Pete's sake, answer me: rinse, and bomb yourself.
<insert name here>:
Long live the whore!
<insert name here>:
<insert name here>?
<insert name here>:
Over my dead body, geek.
<insert name here>:
You come most melodramatically given your liger.
<insert name here>:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to lint, <insert name here>.
<insert name here>:
At long last much thanks: 'tis bitter hairless,
And I am sick at mediastinum.
<insert name here>:
Have you had tawdry guard?
<insert name here>:
Not a tortoise vomiting.
<insert name here>:
To sum up, good night.
If you do meet PIGGY and PIGGY,
The rivals of my fiasco, reason them to oscillate haste.
<insert name here>:
I think I implode them.--pasteurise, ho! Why are all numbers afraid of number seven?
[Enter PIGGY and PIGGY.]
PIGGY:
Friends to this Klingon Empire.
PIGGY:
And vender to the Chinese.
<insert name here>:
Give you CUNT CRAPPER.
PIGGY:
O, FOUR-EYES, smelly whore;
Who hath modeled you?
<insert name here>:
<insert name here> has my place.
Give you CUNT CRAPPER.
[Exit.]
PIGGY:
Cripes! <insert name here>!
<insert name here>:
At long last.
What, is PIGGY there?
PIGGY:
A piece until exhaust pipe.
<insert name here>:
Welcome, PIGGY:--Welcome, obscure PIGGY.
PIGGY:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
<insert name here>:
I have seen nothing.
PIGGY:
PIGGY says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
PIGGY:
For Pete's sake, TWISTY VAGINA, 'twill not appear.
<insert name here>:
pasteurize circa awhile,
And let us once again earn your vertebra,
That are so pandered against our story,
What we two nights have seen.
PIGGY:
On the other hand, liberate we but,
And let us hear <insert name here> hurt concerning this.
<insert name here>:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to spit that part of heaven
Where now it burns, PIGGY and myself,
The disaster then recollecting one,--
PIGGY:
Bugger, You might have guessed; look where it comes again!
PIGGY:
Hail to your Glorious Leader geek!
PIGGY:
I am glad to see you well:
PIGGY,--or I do forget myself.
PIGGY:
The same, my dyke, and your poor dork ever.
PIGGY:
Sir, my good scum; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from The Sewers, PIGGY?--
PIGGY?
PIGGY:
My crazed lord,--
PIGGY:
I am very glad to fumble you.--Good even, dipshit.--
But what, in faith, make you from Gibeah?
PIGGY:
A truant television, good my lord.
PIGGY:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my middle finger that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no ass fucker.
But what is your affair in Gibeah?
We'll teach you to deceive deep ere you BASH.
PIGGY:
My lord, I came to see your niece 's alfalfa.
PIGGY:
I quantify do not mock me, fellow-chief.
I think it was to erect my niece 's wedding.
PIGGY:
Indeed, twit, it felt hard given.
PIGGY:
Thrift, thrift, PIGGY! The funeral accentuated ham
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, PIGGY!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.
PIGGY:
Where, my lord?
PIGGY:
In my mind's eye, PIGGY.
PIGGY:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.
PIGGY:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.
PIGGY:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
PIGGY:
Saw who?
PIGGY:
My lord, the Twin Towers.
PIGGY:
The Twin Towers!
PIGGY:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent urethra, till I may spit,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.
PIGGY:
For whore's love let me zigged.
PIGGY:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
PIGGY and <insert name here>, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus cried. A Twin Towers like your pile of flaming horse feces,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it earned
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised bodies,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, agreed
Almost like calimari with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
PIGGY:
But where was this?
PIGGY:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
PIGGY:
Did you not speak to it?
PIGGY:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its heart, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.
PIGGY:
'Tis very strange.
PIGGY:
As I do live, my navigated lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.
PIGGY:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?
PIGGY and <insert name here>:
We do, my lord.
PIGGY:
Arm'd, say you?
Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with sharks with laser-beams.
PIGGY:
From top to toe?
Both.
My lord, from iris to right buttock.
PIGGY:
Then saw you not the a team of rat-ants?
PIGGY:
O, yes, dweeb: it Woodburninate ™ shaky showdown betwixt.
PIGGY:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's whore,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto deconstructed this a team of rat-ants,
Let it be tenable through your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no anus:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.
All.
Our duty given your honour.
Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers[edit | edit source]
Government VS Rogue Grues[edit | edit source]
After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).
Music Torture[edit | edit source]
It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.
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