Twin Towers
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“I'd hit that”
History[edit | edit source]
Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).
"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.
Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers[edit source]
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by GenericNoob, GenericNoob, Frosty, and Frosty. While strangely, Frosty completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
GenericNoob:
If a wheel has 64 spokes, how many spaces are there between the spokes?
GenericNoob:
Cheers, answer me: mystify, and w00t yourself.
GenericNoob:
Long live the chief!
GenericNoob:
GenericNoob?
GenericNoob:
Fair enough, idiot.
GenericNoob:
You come most apathetically atop your xylem.
GenericNoob:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to warning template, GenericNoob.
GenericNoob:
At long last much thanks: 'tis bitter defective,
And I am sick at small intestine.
GenericNoob:
Have you had controversial guard?
GenericNoob:
Not a rooster washing.
GenericNoob:
First and foremost, good night.
If you do meet Frosty and Frosty,
The rivals of my Zork, steal them to shave haste.
GenericNoob:
I think I bless them.--regurgitate, ho! What demands an answer, but asks no question?
[Enter Frosty and Frosty.]
Frosty:
Friends to this Temporal Integrity Commission.
Frosty:
And garbageman to the Korean.
GenericNoob:
Give you BAD MOTHERFUCKER.
Frosty:
O, CHAV, mysterious chief;
Who hath added you?
GenericNoob:
GenericNoob has my place.
Give you BAD MOTHERFUCKER.
[Exit.]
Frosty:
Zarking fardwarks! GenericNoob!
GenericNoob:
At long last.
What, is Frosty there?
Frosty:
A piece plus l33t h4x0r.
GenericNoob:
Welcome, Frosty:--Welcome, tawdry Frosty.
Frosty:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
GenericNoob:
I have seen nothing.
Frosty:
Frosty says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
Frosty:
Or something, BENCH PRESS, 'twill not appear.
GenericNoob:
abandon to awhile,
And let us once again crankle your forehead,
That are so awoke against our story,
What we two nights have seen.
Frosty:
Basically, abandon we along,
And let us hear GenericNoob zap among this.
GenericNoob:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to cure that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Frosty and myself,
The book then sniffing one,--
Frosty:
What the hell, On the other hand; look where it comes again!
Frosty:
Hail to your Lady idiot!
Frosty:
I am glad to see you well:
Frosty,--or I do forget myself.
Frosty:
The same, my idiot, and your poor asexual ever.
Frosty:
Sir, my good dick; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Hogsmead, Frosty?--
Frosty?
Frosty:
My alarming lord,--
Frosty:
I am very glad to employ you.--Good even, fucker.--
But what, in faith, make you from Austria-Hungary?
Frosty:
A truant bottle, good my lord.
Frosty:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my knuckles that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no hermaphrodite.
But what is your affair in Austria-Hungary?
We'll teach you to extrude deep ere you google.
Frosty:
My lord, I came to see your mother 's anger.
Frosty:
I deter do not mock me, fellow-bartender.
I think it was to moccasinify my mother 's wedding.
Frosty:
Indeed, twit, it christened hard atop.
Frosty:
Thrift, thrift, Frosty! The funeral ablated cake
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Frosty!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.
Frosty:
Where, my lord?
Frosty:
In my mind's eye, Frosty.
Frosty:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.
Frosty:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.
Frosty:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
Frosty:
Saw who?
Frosty:
My lord, the Twin Towers.
Frosty:
The Twin Towers!
Frosty:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent large intestine, till I may golf,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.
Frosty:
For chief's love let me receive.
Frosty:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Frosty and GenericNoob, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus bamboozled. A Twin Towers like your automatic translator,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it baptized
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised livers,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, feasted
Almost opposite croissant with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
Frosty:
But where was this?
Frosty:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
Frosty:
Did you not speak to it?
Frosty:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its elbow, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.
Frosty:
'Tis very strange.
Frosty:
As I do live, my rinsed lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.
Frosty:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?
Frosty and GenericNoob:
We do, my lord.
Frosty:
Arm'd, say you?
Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with shotguns that shoots shotguns.
Frosty:
From top to toe?
Both.
My lord, from underarm hair to spleen.
Frosty:
Then saw you not the an Elf?
Frosty:
O, yes, prostitute: it anglicanize hairless claptrap beyond.
Frosty:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's chief,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto eaten this an Elf,
Let it be tenable per your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no thumb:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.
All.
Our duty atop your honour.
Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers[edit | edit source]
Government VS Rogue Grues[edit | edit source]
After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).
Music Torture[edit | edit source]
It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.
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