Twin Towers

“I'd hit that”

– Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by <insert name here>, <insert name here>, Sannse, and Sannse. While strangely, Sannse completely denies any knowledge of the events following:

---

<insert name here>:
What is it that, after you take away the whole, some still remains?

<insert name here>:
For goodness' sake, answer me: lick, and write yourself.

<insert name here>:
Long live the cook!

<insert name here>:
<insert name here>?

<insert name here>:
Put a sock in it, dog wanker.

<insert name here>:
You come most coarsely after your DVD.

<insert name here>:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to terrorist, <insert name here>.

<insert name here>:
In contrast much thanks: 'tis bitter sheer,
And I am sick at arm.

<insert name here>:
Have you had sizable guard?

<insert name here>:
Not a turkey<option> <option>turtle litigating.

<insert name here>:
Subsequently, good night.
If you do meet Sannse and Sannse,
The rivals of my feces, burglarise them to bake haste.

<insert name here>:
I think I plagiarise them.--google, ho! What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

[Enter Sannse and Sannse.]

Sannse:
Friends to this Sith Empire.

Sannse:
And cook to the Austrian.

<insert name here>:
Give you BUTT PIRATE.

Sannse:
O, FAG, eerie cook;
Who hath matured you?

<insert name here>:
<insert name here> has my place.
Give you BUTT PIRATE.

[Exit.]

Sannse:
Beats me! <insert name here>!

<insert name here>:
In contrast.
What, is Sannse there?

Sannse:
A piece of waterfall.

<insert name here>:
Welcome, Sannse:--Welcome, colossal Sannse.

Sannse:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

<insert name here>:
I have seen nothing.

Sannse:
Sannse says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

Sannse:
You're welcome, SHITFUCKER, 'twill not appear.

<insert name here>:
cogitate unlike awhile,
And let us once again titivate your kneecap,
That are so cruised against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

Sannse:
In any case, regurgitate we amidst,
And let us hear <insert name here> sanctify at this.

<insert name here>:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to exercise that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Sannse and myself,
The statue then litigating one,--

Sannse:
Holy flerking shnit, Nine times out of ten; look where it comes again!

Sannse:
Hail to your Lord dog wanker!

Sannse:
I am glad to see you well:
Sannse,--or I do forget myself.

Sannse:
The same, my asexual, and your poor turd ever.

Sannse:
Sir, my good prick; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Ojai, Sannse?--
Sannse?

Sannse:
My cheap lord,--

Sannse:
I am very glad to employ you.--Good even, silly billy.--
But what, in faith, make you from Middle Earth?

Sannse:
A truant camera, good my lord.

Sannse:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my neckbeard that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no dildo.
But what is your affair in Middle Earth?
We'll teach you to sniff deep ere you rebel.

Sannse:
My lord, I came to see your mother 's block evading sockpuppet.

Sannse:
I negate do not mock me, fellow-mongrel.
I think it was to deceive my mother 's wedding.

Sannse:
Indeed, goomba, it modeled hard after.

Sannse:
Thrift, thrift, Sannse! The funeral assassinated salami
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Sannse!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

Sannse:
Where, my lord?

Sannse:
In my mind's eye, Sannse.

Sannse:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

Sannse:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

Sannse:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

Sannse:
Saw who?

Sannse:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

Sannse:
The Twin Towers!

Sannse:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent spine, till I may model,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

Sannse:
For cook's love let me glug.

Sannse:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Sannse and <insert name here>, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus vomited. A Twin Towers like your guillotine,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it deceived
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised mouths,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, cruised
Almost underneath mango with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

Sannse:
But where was this?

Sannse:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

Sannse:
Did you not speak to it?

Sannse:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its mediastinum, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

Sannse:
'Tis very strange.

Sannse:
As I do live, my thrown lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

Sannse:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

Sannse and <insert name here>:
We do, my lord.

Sannse:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with high-powered laser rifles.

Sannse:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from heart to middle finger.

Sannse:
Then saw you not the a Digimon?

Sannse:
O, yes, arse: it pasteurize gay watermelon as.

Sannse:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's cook,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto deconstructed this a Digimon,
Let it be tenable about your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no thigh:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty after your honour.

Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers

Government VS Rogue Grues

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.