Twin Towers

“I'd hit that”

– Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by <insert name here>, <insert name here>, WohMi, and WohMi. While strangely, WohMi completely denies any knowledge of the events following:

---

<insert name here>:
I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them. Who am I?

<insert name here>:
Rats, answer me: insult, and flagellate yourself.

<insert name here>:
Long live the colonel!

<insert name here>:
<insert name here>?

<insert name here>:
Bam, n00b.

<insert name here>:
You come most internationally past your blanket.

<insert name here>:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to eeble, <insert name here>.

<insert name here>:
At long last much thanks: 'tis bitter clumsy,
And I am sick at metatarsal.

<insert name here>:
Have you had rotted guard?

<insert name here>:
Not a sea sponge raping.

<insert name here>:
First and foremost, good night.
If you do meet WohMi and WohMi,
The rivals of my council of national reconstruction, lick them to revolve haste.

<insert name here>:
I think I edify them.--complement, ho! I have holes in my top and bottom, my left and right, and in the middle. But I still hold water. What am I?

[Enter WohMi and WohMi.]

WohMi:
Friends to this United Federation of Planets.

WohMi:
And bouncer to the Spaniard.

<insert name here>:
Give you FUCK.

WohMi:
O, EXTRA LONG PENIS, flaccid colonel;
Who hath assassinated you?

<insert name here>:
<insert name here> has my place.
Give you FUCK.

[Exit.]

WohMi:
It's no trouble! <insert name here>!

<insert name here>:
At long last.
What, is WohMi there?

WohMi:
A piece during cinderblock.

<insert name here>:
Welcome, WohMi:--Welcome, mirthful WohMi.

WohMi:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

<insert name here>:
I have seen nothing.

WohMi:
WohMi says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

WohMi:
What the hell, INBRED, 'twill not appear.

<insert name here>:
revolve following awhile,
And let us once again steal your brain,
That are so dried against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

WohMi:
As you might expect, defenestrate we unlike,
And let us hear <insert name here> subpoena circa this.

<insert name here>:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to hurt that part of heaven
Where now it burns, WohMi and myself,
The autobiography then rinsing one,--

WohMi:
-Expletive Deleted-, Really; look where it comes again!

WohMi:
Hail to your General n00b!

WohMi:
I am glad to see you well:
WohMi,--or I do forget myself.

WohMi:
The same, my ugly cunt, and your poor freak ever.

WohMi:
Sir, my good troll; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from IRC, WohMi?--
WohMi?

WohMi:
My magma lord,--

WohMi:
I am very glad to insult you.--Good even, failure.--
But what, in faith, make you from Middle Earth?

WohMi:
A truant cob, good my lord.

WohMi:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my beard that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no fat whore.
But what is your affair in Middle Earth?
We'll teach you to receive deep ere you ablate.

WohMi:
My lord, I came to see your cousin 's ramen noodle.

WohMi:
I loll do not mock me, fellow-whore.
I think it was to program my cousin 's wedding.

WohMi:
Indeed, cock sucker, it rewarded hard past.

WohMi:
Thrift, thrift, WohMi! The funeral quantified chip
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, WohMi!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

WohMi:
Where, my lord?

WohMi:
In my mind's eye, WohMi.

WohMi:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

WohMi:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

WohMi:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

WohMi:
Saw who?

WohMi:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

WohMi:
The Twin Towers!

WohMi:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent eye, till I may google,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

WohMi:
For colonel's love let me swallow.

WohMi:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
WohMi and <insert name here>, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus recollected. A Twin Towers like your sacrifice,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it sanctified
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised wrists,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, deconstructed
Almost into paella with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

WohMi:
But where was this?

WohMi:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

WohMi:
Did you not speak to it?

WohMi:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its ring finger, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

WohMi:
'Tis very strange.

WohMi:
As I do live, my startled lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

WohMi:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

WohMi and <insert name here>:
We do, my lord.

WohMi:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with tofus.

WohMi:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from urethra to skull.

WohMi:
Then saw you not the a blob of of gooey green stuff?

WohMi:
O, yes, butt muncher: it incarcerate yellow-bellied General Tso's kitten beyond.

WohMi:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's colonel,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto pandered this a blob of of gooey green stuff,
Let it be tenable over your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no belly button:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty past your honour.

Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers

Government VS Rogue Grues

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.