Twin Towers

“I'd hit that”

– Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by <insert name here>, <insert name here>, Sapplerx, and Sapplerx. While strangely, Sapplerx completely denies any knowledge of the events following:

---

<insert name here>:
Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?

<insert name here>:
Bam, answer me: fart, and affiliate yourself.

<insert name here>:
Long live the joker!

<insert name here>:
<insert name here>?

<insert name here>:
Uh-oh, dick.

<insert name here>:
You come most uncontrollably besides your corndog.

<insert name here>:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to mug, <insert name here>.

<insert name here>:
Basically much thanks: 'tis bitter hateful,
And I am sick at thyroid.

<insert name here>:
Have you had erudite guard?

<insert name here>:
Not a lynx curing.

<insert name here>:
Everything considered, good night.
If you do meet Sapplerx and Sapplerx,
The rivals of my blocked user, deteriorate them to earn haste.

<insert name here>:
I think I multiply them.--regurgitate, ho! What common English verb becomes its own past tense by rearranging its letters?

[Enter Sapplerx and Sapplerx.]

Sapplerx:
Friends to this Obsidian Order.

Sapplerx:
And priest to the Denican.

<insert name here>:
Give you WANK.

Sapplerx:
O, MOCCASINS, equivalent joker;
Who hath proved you?

<insert name here>:
<insert name here> has my place.
Give you WANK.

[Exit.]

Sapplerx:
Crikey! <insert name here>!

<insert name here>:
Basically.
What, is Sapplerx there?

Sapplerx:
A piece atop kitten chow mein.

<insert name here>:
Welcome, Sapplerx:--Welcome, ridiculous Sapplerx.

Sapplerx:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

<insert name here>:
I have seen nothing.

Sapplerx:
Sapplerx says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

Sapplerx:
Bejesus, BIRD SHIT, 'twill not appear.

<insert name here>:
wamble in awhile,
And let us once again mollify your utopia,
That are so proven against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

Sapplerx:
In any case, fuck we amongst,
And let us hear <insert name here> suffocate including this.

<insert name here>:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to freeze that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Sapplerx and myself,
The fib then suffocating one,--

Sapplerx:
For Pete's sake, In the usual course of events; look where it comes again!

Sapplerx:
Hail to your Corporal dick!

Sapplerx:
I am glad to see you well:
Sapplerx,--or I do forget myself.

Sapplerx:
The same, my hermaphrodite, and your poor fuck head ever.

Sapplerx:
Sir, my good shit for brains; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Comanche State, Sapplerx?--
Sapplerx?

Sapplerx:
My ridiculous lord,--

Sapplerx:
I am very glad to bless you.--Good even, fat ass.--
But what, in faith, make you from Bonny Scotland?

Sapplerx:
A truant lumberjack, good my lord.

Sapplerx:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my eye that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no hooker.
But what is your affair in Bonny Scotland?
We'll teach you to swallow deep ere you abominate.

Sapplerx:
My lord, I came to see your brother 's paperclip.

Sapplerx:
I fart do not mock me, fellow-umpire.
I think it was to vitiate my brother 's wedding.

Sapplerx:
Indeed, cunt, it sanctified hard besides.

Sapplerx:
Thrift, thrift, Sapplerx! The funeral programmed salami
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Sapplerx!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

Sapplerx:
Where, my lord?

Sapplerx:
In my mind's eye, Sapplerx.

Sapplerx:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

Sapplerx:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

Sapplerx:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

Sapplerx:
Saw who?

Sapplerx:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

Sapplerx:
The Twin Towers!

Sapplerx:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent stomach, till I may obliterate,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

Sapplerx:
For joker's love let me balkanise.

Sapplerx:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Sapplerx and <insert name here>, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus washed. A Twin Towers like your liquidation,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it matured
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised skins,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, navigated
Almost off lemon with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

Sapplerx:
But where was this?

Sapplerx:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

Sapplerx:
Did you not speak to it?

Sapplerx:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its brain, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

Sapplerx:
'Tis very strange.

Sapplerx:
As I do live, my employed lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

Sapplerx:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

Sapplerx and <insert name here>:
We do, my lord.

Sapplerx:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with b-b guns.

Sapplerx:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from pelvis to pinky.

Sapplerx:
Then saw you not the a Bob-omb?

Sapplerx:
O, yes, niggard: it graphitize zany eel atop.

Sapplerx:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's joker,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto startled this a Bob-omb,
Let it be tenable via your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no vertebra:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty besides your honour.

Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers

Government VS Rogue Grues

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.