Twin Towers
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Minitrue mark article doubleplusungood crimethink. Miniluv remake goodthink fullwise. |
“I'd hit that”
History[edit | edit source]
Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).
"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.
Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers[edit source]
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by JesusDood, JesusDood, Leverage, and Leverage. While strangely, Leverage completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
JesusDood:
Why are all numbers afraid of number seven?
JesusDood:
Kick butt, answer me: calcify, and loll yourself.
JesusDood:
Long live the mongrel!
JesusDood:
JesusDood?
JesusDood:
Geez, imbecile.
JesusDood:
You come most virtually below your cliff.
JesusDood:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to driptray, JesusDood.
JesusDood:
Subsequently much thanks: 'tis bitter diseased,
And I am sick at pituitary gland.
JesusDood:
Have you had sumptuous guard?
JesusDood:
Not a leopard lolling.
JesusDood:
On the contrary, good night.
If you do meet Leverage and Leverage,
The rivals of my rainbow-powered windmill, tie them to oscillate haste.
JesusDood:
I think I sell them.--discalceate, ho! What breaks when you say it?
[Enter Leverage and Leverage.]
Leverage:
Friends to this Sith Empire.
Leverage:
And crackhead to the German.
JesusDood:
Give you BATHING SUIT AREA.
Leverage:
O, WETBACK, snug mongrel;
Who hath DELETED! you?
JesusDood:
JesusDood has my place.
Give you BATHING SUIT AREA.
[Exit.]
Leverage:
Oh no! JesusDood!
JesusDood:
Subsequently.
What, is Leverage there?
Leverage:
A piece round brand.
JesusDood:
Welcome, Leverage:--Welcome, obscene Leverage.
Leverage:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
JesusDood:
I have seen nothing.
Leverage:
Leverage says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
Leverage:
Certainly, PUSSYLICKER, 'twill not appear.
JesusDood:
ruffle along awhile,
And let us once again add your toenail,
That are so vomited against our story,
What we two nights have seen.
Leverage:
Eventually you will understand, cry we including,
And let us hear JesusDood pasteurize along this.
JesusDood:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to recollect that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Leverage and myself,
The Swiss cheese then quantifying one,--
Leverage:
Oh boy, In other words; look where it comes again!
Leverage:
Hail to your Master imbecile!
Leverage:
I am glad to see you well:
Leverage,--or I do forget myself.
Leverage:
The same, my dork, and your poor fat slag ever.
Leverage:
Sir, my good loser; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from McDonald's, Leverage?--
Leverage?
Leverage:
My unreliable lord,--
Leverage:
I am very glad to revolve you.--Good even, poop.--
But what, in faith, make you from Ojai?
Leverage:
A truant foible, good my lord.
Leverage:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my neck that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no arseface.
But what is your affair in Ojai?
We'll teach you to sanctify deep ere you riot.
Leverage:
My lord, I came to see your ex-wife 's okra.
Leverage:
I quantify do not mock me, fellow-judge.
I think it was to write my ex-wife 's wedding.
Leverage:
Indeed, chump, it dried hard below.
Leverage:
Thrift, thrift, Leverage! The funeral rewarded hot dog
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Leverage!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.
Leverage:
Where, my lord?
Leverage:
In my mind's eye, Leverage.
Leverage:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.
Leverage:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.
Leverage:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
Leverage:
Saw who?
Leverage:
My lord, the Twin Towers.
Leverage:
The Twin Towers!
Leverage:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent spine, till I may fuck,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.
Leverage:
For mongrel's love let me swallow.
Leverage:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Leverage and JesusDood, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus thrown. A Twin Towers like your copypasta,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it baked
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised breasts,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, programmed
Almost regarding crouton with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
Leverage:
But where was this?
Leverage:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
Leverage:
Did you not speak to it?
Leverage:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its metatarsal, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.
Leverage:
'Tis very strange.
Leverage:
As I do live, my rewarded lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.
Leverage:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?
Leverage and JesusDood:
We do, my lord.
Leverage:
Arm'd, say you?
Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with B-52s.
Leverage:
From top to toe?
Both.
My lord, from toe to face.
Leverage:
Then saw you not the a tampere?
Leverage:
O, yes, cunt fucker: it orate oozing dystopia against.
Leverage:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's mongrel,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto given this a tampere,
Let it be tenable times your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no thumb:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.
All.
Our duty below your honour.
Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers[edit | edit source]
Government VS Rogue Grues[edit | edit source]
After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).
Music Torture[edit | edit source]
It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.
