American-English Dictionary

For that other dictionary, see English-American Dictionary.

Americans and Englishmen both use words, but in different ways. (Image not to scale of importance: Britain should be much larger.)

“I kicked American English's arse”

~ Oscar Wilde

Welcome, readers, to the exciting windless deserts of the American–English Dictionary. This article is designed as a reference to Englishmen and Englishwomen as they attempt to understand, and be understood by, American-type people. Canadian speakers may find much of this information of use as well. It is the goal of this reference to prevent such embarrassment caused by the misinterpretation of eraser and other such words and phrases. In the tables below, the "usage" section refers to the American usage, of course.

"S" and "Z"

Let's start with the often confusing area of spelling. Many Englishmen are amazed to learn that in the American alphabet, there is a letter known as "Z". In usage, the letter is often replaced by the letter "S" in English. Examples:

English	American	Usage
Civilisation	Civilization	There's no such thing as the English 'Civilization'!
Specialise	Specialize	Some people heer seem to specialize in allowing people to change American spelling to English.
Organisation	Organization	The Cobra is a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world!
Sit	Zit	Watch wheer you zit!
Sip	Zip	He slowly zipped his tea

Zee

In the American alphabet, the letter "Z" is called "Zee", and Americans often overuse this odd letter, but they're wrong, so there.

English	American	Usage
Nissan 300 Z	Nissan 300 Zee	In English, the make of this car is pronounced "Nissin". In American, "Nee-Sawn".
Camaro Z28	Camaro Zee 28	Although the Camaro is sold in America (because there are rednecks), Canadians tend to use the letter "Zed".
Kawasaki ZX-11 Ninja	Kawasaki Zee X-11 Ninja	"Whose motorcycle is this?" —Winston Churchill "It's not a motorcycle, it's a crotch-rocket, and it's Zee's crotch-rocket". —Oscar Wilde "Who is Zee?" —Winston Churchill "Zee's dead, baby!" —Oscar Wilde "Zee third reich vill last for a thousand years!" —Adolf Hitler

The English "R"

The Americans are also known for preserving the "R"s in words not requiring one, while removing "R"s from words that are supposed to have them. By doing this the net effect is an equal usage of the letter "R" when compared to English, but a vastly different distribution.

Examples:

English	American	Usage
Arse	Ass	I can kick yor ass!
Idea	Idear*	I have no idear what you're talking about.

*This is mainly found in Northeastern varieties of American.

ER and RE

A strange phenomenon has been noted when translating English words that end in "RE", often, the American translation will transpose the two last letters.

English	American	Usage
Centre	Center	The gooey nougat center
Theatre	Theater	I'm dating a slutty theater usher, he sneaks me in for fere.
Entree	Enter	I'll have some fries with my enter.
Repeat	Erpeat	Could you please erpeat that?
Ogre	Oger	Sherk is an unsanitary oger!
Acre	Acer	One acer of land is pertty big.

K to Que

In many instances, English spellling is changed from Que to K, this is mainly due to the American tendency to use chatspeak in everyday conversation. The pronunciation of the word is similar, but the spelling and look of the word is radically different. Examples:

English	American	Usage
Cheque	Check	My last pay check bonced, I kit!
Barbecue	Barbek	Fix me some steak on the barbek!
Question	Kstion	May I ask you a kstion?
Queer	Ker	That's a ker painting you've got there.
Queen	Ken	Ken is a synonym for Ker.
Quebec	Kbec	Kbec is a strange place.
Query	Kry	He searched the kry and cried because he found nothing

"Ou" and "O" (not firewourks)

The American language is also noted for the undereruse of the letter U, especially in making the "or" sound. The English always have used "u"; this often results in ending words with "our." This is because Americans are convinced that there is a global U shortage, and think misspelling words will save the planet.

Examples:

English	American	Usage
Colour	Color	The Color Guard raised the flag.
Flavour	Flavor	I like the popular rap artist Flavor Flav.
Honour	Honor	I didn't do it, Yor Honor!
Neighbour	Neighbor	Love thy neighbor as thyself. (literal translation: "shoot the bean-eating brown bastards as they come across!")
Humour	Humor	Don't waste humour on Americans, they only understand humor.
Horrour	Whore	The whore!
Our	Or	That isn't yor ball! That's or ball!
Hour	Hor	Please hold. Yor wait shold be one hor.
Four	For	My kids can cont to for!
Would	Wold	I wold help you if I cold
Mourn	Morn	Her huzband died, so she's in morning

In the English-speaking colony of Canada, the English "Ou" is pronounced like the double-o in "boot".

Different Definitions

In addition to the unusual alphabet and spelling, the Americans use different definitions for different phrases.

Examples:

English	American	Usage
Lift	Elevator	Elevator the baby gently.
Toilet	Bathroom	I'm just going to flush the bathroom.
Flat	Apartment	Paper is as apartment as Kansas.
Saloon	Sedan	I got my haircut at a Beauty Sedan
Rubber	Eraser	I have an eraser ball.
Cling-Film*	Condom	redneck South only
Napkin	Diaper	I need a diaper to wipe my mouth.
Bonnet	Hood	What a lovely Easter hood!
Boot	Trunk	Do you like cowboy trunks?
Lorry	Truck	That truck is awfully fun to ride, but kind of a slut.
Chips	Freedom Fries	Don't eat paint freedom fries!
Crisps	Chips	A nipple chips when stepped on.
Food	Meat byproducts and remnants	The fat man eats meat byproducts and remnants.
Jam	Jelly	I'm in a bit of a jelly here. Can you help me out?"
Jelly	Jell-O	Winalot Prime with Meaty Chunks and Marrowbone Jell-O
Vest	Undershirt	I think he has an undershirted interest in it.
Tie	Necktie	Both runners finished the race simultaneosly—the result was a necktie!
Fag	Cigarette	It's just that by acting like you would like sectual intercorse with a person of the same sect, you are coming off as a cigarette!
Sack	Fire	I've bought a fire of potatoes
Nursery	Kindergarten	I'm going to buy a plant from the kindergarten

Also, some words are used in both English and American, but to different effect:

Word	American Meaning	English Meaning
Football	A game with 100 players to a side and only one kicker	A game with 11 players to a side and only one allowed to use their hands (hint: Football)
World (insert sport event)	Series, Event at which only N. Americans are allowed to enter (and definitely not Cuba!). The event must not be shown on television if America doesn't win.	Cup, Event at which the whole world is allowed to enter (including Cuba)
Knock-up	Impregnate	Awaken
Willing (as in Coalition of)	Willing	Coerced
Bomb	Liberate	Invade
Bomb the enemy	Bomb coallition troops or groups of innocent civilians	Bomb the enemy
Mission accomplished (as in 1st May 2003)	Mission failed	Can we go home now? Please?

"og" and "ogue"

Sometimes an extra "ue" is removed from words ending in "ogue" in English.

English	American	Usage
catalogue	catalog	I found a nice TV in the catalog.
dialogue	dialog	The dialog in that horror film is garbage.
rogue	rog	The Scarlet Pimpernel is such a rog.
vogue	vog	This look is really in vog.
vague	vag	Now you mention it, I can vagly remember.

Similarily:

tongue

tong

I burnt my tong on the hot meat byproducts and remnants.

"um" and "ium"

Some words in American lack the "i" in words ending in "ium" in English.

English	American	Usage
aluminium	aluminum	I buy soup in aluminum cans.(Note. English pronunciation of aluminium is 'tin'.)
Calcium	Calcum	Milk is full of calcum.
Helium	Helum	My voice gets squeaky when I breathe helum.
Sodium	Sodum	Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of Sodum.

"ce" and "se"

Sometimes the English C will be replaced with a S in American when an E is next to it.

English	American	Usage
defence	defense	You be the defense on the football team.
offence	offense	You be the offense on the football team.
cell	sell	I might as well throw you in a jail sell.
Mince	Minse	I don't minse my words!

"x" and "ct"

The "x" variations don't exist in American, so ignore this section if you feel the need to do so.

English	American	Usage
example	ectample	America is the perfect ectample of a demokracy.
exit	ectit	Ectit, stage left!
sex	sects	Age/sects/location?
Xylophone	Ctylophone	Can you play the ctylophone?*
Linux	Linuct	I can program my own distribution of Linuct!

Sometimes referred to as the Cthulu-phone

"cks" and "x"

However, Americans decided not to entirely omit "x", creating the folling irregular plurals:

English	American	Usage
Socks	Sox	His sox are a micture of blax, grays and blus.
Locks	Lox	She cut her lox very short
Clocks	Clox	Clox tell us what time it is

"oe" and "e"

Americans tend to forget the o that precedes e in a number of words:

English	American	Usage
Manoeuvre	Maneuver	That's 3 letters maneuvered out of plase
Diarrhoea	Diarrhea	That large Soth American bird has Diar-rhea
Oedipus	Edipus	He has an Edipus complex
Hoe	He	Use a he to get rid of weeds in yor garden
Toe	Te	Och, I've stubbed my te!

Similarly, the a before an e can also be targeted:

English	American	Usage
Haemoglobin	Hemoglobin	I must eat more hemoglobin.
Caesar	Cesar	Cesar salad is my favorite meat byproduct and remnants.
Algae	Alge	Blu-green alge is a major problem in or lakes.

Picard-isms

The French-descended Jean-Luc Picard speaks with a fluent British accent, landing him many jobs as Scrooge, Oliver Twist, and Black Adder. Two words are unique in his vocabulary: privacy and issue

English	American	Usage
PRIH-va-see (i = dick)	PRY-va-see (i = lice)	My privacy has been violated, you dick!
ISS-you (ss = hissy-fit)	ISH-oo (ss = shit-fit)	Where is my new issue of Bigguns?

An interesting urban legend states that if Picard ever says "Privacy is not the issue" the Enterprise will blow up.

Extending words

Since the rise of revolutionary American linguist George W. Bush, American English likes to extend words in order to make them as long as possible. Examples follow:

English	American	Usage
Burgle	Burglarize	Call the police! I've been burglarized!
Rob	Robberize	Help! I've been robberized!
Estimate	Estimation	I'd estimation it will take 3 weeks
Dignity	Dignitude	Our President is a man of dignitude!
Evaluate	Evaluationize	Did you get a surveyor to evaluationize your house before you were burglarized?
Maximise	Maximumify	We must fire more workers in order to maximumify our profits.
Elongate	Elongitudinalizeate	An eel is very elongitudinalizeated in shape.

I say potAYto, you say poTAHto

The person who wrote this song was out of their fucking mind.

See also

• Gibberish
• English-American Dictionary

External links

• English 2