So, you've finished reading HowTo:Not die, huh? And you don't agree with the ideas on what to do with your life that are in there? Fear not, we now have the exact opposite: HowTo:Die.
- 0-1 - Have your mother fail her pregnancy. 50% chance, man! Otherwise, you can't really do anything here.
So, you failed the pre-birth section? Try these as a baby.
- 1-1 - Be born into a family with several chronic issues. Better yet, be into a family that reproduces with itself.
- 1-2 - Be born before healthcare was a thing. Around the 1300s are ideal, since the "medicine" back then was more likely to kill you than actually help.
- 1-3 - Shove everything possible into your mouth. Most of them will probably be toxic.
- 1-4 - Ignore any blockades and fall down as many staircases as possible.
If you couldn't die as a baby, these are all viable options.
- 2-1 - Drink and drive. Both are things you shouldn't be doing anyways as a child.
- 2-2 - Go close to cliffs. You probably wil fall off, because you're a dumb child who doesn't know what they're doing.
- 2-3 - Convince your parent to become anti-vax.
- 2-4 - Don't go to the doctor.
You're really struggling to die. Perhaps your religion is actually true. ... Nah, you're just terrible at death.
- 3-1 - Drinking and driving will kill you even more now. So, continue doing that.
- 3-2 - People will offer you bad advice at this stage in your life. Take all of the advice and follow it.
- 3-3 - Fail in school. If you do that, the rest of your life will be ruined and you will kill yourself out of frustration.
- 3-4 - Go to America for an increased amount of opportunities to die during school.
- 3-5 - Have depression or anxiety. Pretty easy for teens.
- 3-6 - Accept the strange-looking liquid in the shot glass your "friend" handed to you at a party.
You're a failure if you tried to die at every given chance before now.
- 4-1 - You should be old enough to just kill yourself now. Nobody's really going to care. Welcome to reality.
- 4-2 - If you don't want to do that, impersonate one of these guys.
Either you're a huge failure, or you're just reading this for fun and not following it if you made it here.
- 5-1 - Death will come soon enough.
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