User:Ubergrue

This user is a vampire. Bleh!

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Warning: The following text has a power level of "OVER NINE THOUSAND." Transform to Super Saiyan 3 immediately to survive.

Leverage

dudes, i need more templates. also, delete repeats. i dont need em. except the power level OVER 900! thing. and get rid of text.

High Gen. Grue,
has given you a gun. Please fire randomly at will.

This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.

This user's IQ is over OVER 9000!!!!.

This user is either a monarch or a megalomaniac.

This user has been approved by Mr Rubber Ducky, have you?

This user is a mutant.

This user is a paladin.
Hide your demons and undead.

...

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

This user is a level 13 Wizard. They see the fnords.

This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.

RENT

This space for rent.
Lube available.
Call 1-800-666-6666.

Temp

This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.

This user supports the giving away of free iPods.

This user is an evil clown. Fear their evil (yet hilarious) wrath of DOOM!!
Other users who are Evil Clowns

This user is Canadian
…and mildly smug about it!

Question: is this page supposed to be about the stuff u cant put on the other articles? i.e. stuff about teachers, friends...?

Shhhhhh! This is a humour free zone.

--Ubergrue 16:34, 20 September 2007 (UTC)hahahahahahahahahahahah

You are hereby awarded the

Purple Spleen

For heroic work in cleaning up the Uncyclopedia one article at a time.

Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia

This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

Her Majesty's Royal Flying Rat's Ass

{{{4}}}

This foul knave hath been slain.
If this is thy talk page, please note that thou art deceased.

The great and noble knight Denyiir
hath killed Anti-wilde with their lance
because Anti-wilde is a nefarious evil-doer.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Ubergrue

User page

I Found Money Award
This poor bastard ended up at Money$ign's user page from
hidden links from various articles. Feel sorry for them. I do.

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

\m/

I am a metalhead; I wear offensive shirts, I headbang to really loud music. I have long hair, but am not a hippie.

This user can see what you don't!

Sense

This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.

This user is on fire. You can help uncyclopedia by throwing water on their head

This user is an anti-Texan
And is a suspect of terrorism

This user is a Communist
& is working on their Lenin mustache! ☭

$$$

This user is a libertarian, so they are way too stoned to hear you complain, hippie!

PIELAND

This user is from Pieland, and is blamed for killing Pingu.
(List of Pielanders)

This Uncyclopedian is happy to be 100% straight.

This User tries to stop flamewars to protect the O-zone layer.

 C:\>_

This user contributes using DOS.

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

This user surfs the interweb with Opera, but is above petty musicals. Crack on.

This user joined the Folding@home Team, because they give a damn & so should you.

This user can be found on the Ucyclopedia Frappr.

This user is apart of the offical Uncyclopedia Alliance for Cyber Nations. God help us.

This user supports free operating systems because they are basically a cheapskate.

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

This user is too pirate for your battleship.

This user is a Transformer and has the powers to obliterate you!
Be aware of this user's laser cannon.

The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

This user edits PUTPBAA, the most organised text-adventure on Uncyclopedia.

This user is a miser, and couldn't be happier with their money!

I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!

This user loves Maddox.

This user is a
Net Authority Violator

This member is crazy ass psycho and may suffer from ADHD HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT ASS!!!!!!

Please mark adult content with a warning for young readers.

How else are they going to find it?

Spock is glad to announce that:

This page contains astronomical quantities of pseudo scientific data and therefore, in accordance to the primary directives, the writers gained this useless template for their trouble.

Somebody set up us the bomb.
For great justice take off every 'zig'.

This article makes no sense whatsoever, and has caused the heads of various people to asplode. You can save these people by popping it full of lead, and featuring it on Animal Planet, yo!Also, your hair is showing.

AA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

Eeek ahk sque'ek uhk kkkk'k squeek!

EBG13-A

Guvf hfre vf n angvir fcrnxre bs EBG13.

This user loves pi

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

This user does not know how to shot web.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

simp

This user does not like userboxes, and grimaces at the thought of having this abomination on their userpage!

?

Do not underestimate the power of It. Underestimation of the power of It will kill you from the sheer power of It.

This page is censored because an authoritarian regime claims that it is for your own good

However, you can still view this page's censored content by highlighting or hovering the mouse over text. You can also press control A or command A on a mac to view all of its content whether the content is censored or not.

This article was written about a chickenhead.

The author knows this because he has frequently "chatted" with Ubergrue at the meetings.

Computer Virus!

Do not delete this template or a Virus will enter your computer

The content of this article has been classified by the FCC as OMGWTF.

Please stop reading or risk SEHS.

.sdrawkcab si resu sihT
!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

Usb!

No, really!

USB!!!!!11

NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!

This user uses Uncyclopedia as their primary point of reference.

BS

This userpage is bullshit.

IP

Ubergrue's IP is 127.0.0.1.

This user is ~~stupid and gay~~ an ambassador of the Spanish Inciclopedia here, in Anglo-Saxon lands.

This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

Color

This user likes random colored userboxes.

[ insert content here ]

This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly.

1+

This user has over 1 edit. Duh!

This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

This article has been intentionally left blank
Except for this message box claiming blankness
Which is probably just a figment of your imagination anyway
Why don't you go somewhere else and stop worrying about it! Ya paranoid.

This user likes to use redundant userboxes.

PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!

This page is a piece of crap. The author acknowledges this fact.

CRIMETHINK
Minitrue mark article doubleplusungood crimethink. Miniluv remake goodthink fullwise.

DANGER!! Viewing or reading this page can be deadly ... or worse.
22,007 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, infected with Herpes, and/or disfigured for daring to see this page.
If you just got here and are feeling dizzy due to losing a pint of blood from the stump where your arm
used to be, please stumble away and call for help, then lay down in the gutter and pass out.

Heads up, good buddy!

The image to the left is actually a delicious candy lozenge that peels off the screen and then melts in your mouth. Its soothing effects should make this article easier to swallow.

Do not remove this template.

Warning to Will & Grace watching Americans:

If you’re thirsty for Humor then this page is a mirage. Only dry Humour is allowed here. (no fart jokes allowed)

This article is likely to be eaten by a grue. I suggest you
protect yourself or use extreme sarcasm before it eats you too.

This user hates religion, and is a sinner through and through!

This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.

This user supports the Communist Party of China, but only because because it's our last chance for global communist domination.

中共

This user fights against the squirrels and sporks conspiring to enslave the human species.

This user knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled.

This user is a member of DiZ's
inner circle. Fear them.

This user is a Pudgist and worships weaselpudge, the holiest substance in the Universe. They shall be spared from the Apocalypse.

This user is a sinner, and bows before Satan.

Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.

sub

subliminal!

This user is convinced that any Pegasus is far superior to a Unicorn.

This user worships Ouroboros and joyously celebrates Its return.

This user be getting drunk on his booty..

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

This user likes welcoming new users to the wiki.

This user, Ubergrue, is a genuine Puppet Master.
This person has done (assumedly) bad things to Uncyclopedia
under 3 - 3000 pseudonyms, as referenced here.

Serious Zone: The following section contains no jokes. Don't expect any laughs... unless you find disclaimers hilarious. We don't judge.

ATTENTION: Residents of areas affected by Ubergrue are advised to seek advice and information from local authorities through television and radio, and official weather forecast web sites (links below). Information on an encyclopedia may not be current or applicable to your area.

Do not decide whether to leave your house, shelter or vehicle based on Uncyclopedia information. In fact, do not decide to do anything in your life based on Uncyclopedia information. Except if we tell you to leave the area. Because staying in the path of a 120-mile-per-hour hurricane is beyond DUMB.

End of Serious Zone: Prepare for jokes in bad taste. You have been warned.

This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.^{[citation needed]}

The author(s) must promptly be executed.^{[Saw it on the discovery channel]} Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.^{[Saw it on the discovery channel]}
This template may also be inaccurate.^{[Saw it on the discovery channel]}

	Ŧĥīš ǻŕţǐċĺə įŝ ţǿŧāľŀŷ ìñçôмþŕéħėŉşıßľě.
	Ÿǿü čǽñ ħëłþ Ǜŉçýċļöþęđĩä ßŷ ểǻŧıŉġ ä çåŗǐβöǚ.

This article is insane. The article submitter may need psychotherapy, and as such, this article should be taken as gospel. You can help Uncyclopedia by restraining the article in a rubber room.

If you are offended by this article, consider reading this instead!

INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!

"Beware of flesh-eating bovines"

Devour their flesh before they devour yours!

Correction: you had two cows.

“Geez Homer, I thought someone with two cows would be happy." "No, you're thinking of someone with two knives.”
~ Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson on Homer Simpson having two cows

You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

$Moo\cdot \left(\sin \left(Cow_{A}\right)+\cos \left(Cow_{B}\right)\right)\,\!=2\cdot {Cows}$

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

$\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{A}\right)}+\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{B}\right)}\,\!=\log _{\left(2\,Cow\right)}{\left(Moo\right)}$

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, ~~45,893~~ ~~45,894~~ ~~45,895~~ ~~45,896~~ ~~45,897~~ ~~45,898~~ ~~45,899~~ 45,900 are known.^[1]

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows^[2] will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however needs only a pint of milk, but you need to deliver it through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!
	1. Analysis 2. Anime 3. Bovine Quotes 4. Cowmedy 5. Emootions 6. Endings 7. Famous Cows 8. Groups	9. This cow does not exist 10. In the Moos 11. Language of Cows 12. Literature 13. Moosical Moovements 14. Moovies 15. Non-Video Games 16. People	17. Politicowl Junk 18. Programming Languages 19. Religion 20. Software 'n Such 21. Sound of Moo-sic 22. Television 23. Travel 24. Video Games	24.2. Video Games Volume 2 24.3. Video Games Volume 3 25. World and Web of Cows 26. You Have n Cows 27. Science 28. Moodicine 29. Game Consoles 30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism
“I have a dream, where all bovine species shall be treated with equal respect. I have a dream where the sons of steers and the sons of branders can sit down at the table of harmoony together, I have a dream today!” ~ Martin Luther King Jr. on You have two cows

External links[edit | edit source]

What will happen to your two cows

References[edit | edit source]

↑ Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.
↑ Ibid.

$$$ Capitalism $$$

Ideologies	Capitalism Conservatism Laissez-faire Liberalism Libertarianism Neoconservatism Neoliberalism Trickle-down economics Supply-side economics
Major Events	Great Depression New Deal Perestroika Roaring Twenties Wall Street Crash of 1929
Capitalist Pigs	Jeff Bezos Henry Ford Bill Gates Alan Greenspan Steve Jobs Mr. Krabs MrBeast Elon Musk Ayn Rand Adam Smith Margaret Thatcher Donald Trump Mark Zuckerberg
Greedy Theories	12 year old girl theory Bullshit theory of value Capitalistic Economy Dog eat Dog Ethical trading Just pennies a day Pre-Market Economy Thanks for buying our product! Now, fuck you. You have two cows
Instruments	Budget deficit Currency Economic Collapse Barbie™ Executive Compensation Get-rich-quick scheme Money (Amero - Bitcoin - Dollar - Euro - Vietnamese dong ) Mortgage (Get Some Mortgage) Poo futures Regulation Shopping list Student loan Superannuation Tax Tipping (Cow tipping) Wallet moth
Evil Institutions	Bank Corporation Dow Jones Foreign exchange market Internal Revenue Service International Monetary Fund Lottery Mickey Mouse League PayPal The Price Is Right Slavery Sweatshop United States Wallstreetbets

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Hooray! World Peace! Let us all stand in a circle and dance!

Jesus Loves This Article

The Jee Man Himself has Shown, in His infinite Wisdom, that He is the Ultimate Purveyor of all things Awesome, Nifty, Spiffy, and generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this article and Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.

This is an article on an MMORPG. It is advised that you flee instantly before your Cat is set on fire or huffed, or both. Whatever you do, Do not click any links, or your Toenail is torn off, attatched to a voodoo doll, and eaten by Oscar Wilde.

BROTRR

This user is a proud Rigist.

This user is a member of the
Evil Atheist Conspiracy.
"We're after your children and pets."

This user hates telephones. Probably due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them.

This user enjoys staring at spinning objects, and may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!

This user is a Mad Scientist.

This user is not and has never been Napoleon.

:o

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

RAS

This user has RAS syndrome and therefore is a fan of DVD disks and LAN networks.

Gu

This user believes everything they read.

This user is a complete, irredeemable Dunmer. They are Bat Fuck Insane, and mature at a caterer.

no cowbell

This user has broken their addiction to Cowbell! Long shall they live and prosper!

This user will give you a seizure.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM
Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

This page is approved by the Marty Man himself

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (H²G²) classified this page as mostly harmless

Anything you may experience while reading it is entirely your fault . . . guv.

A wise man once said: "Give me a quote and I'll give you an uncyclopedia article"

This article has many insightful or otherwise very deeply meaningful quotes by men that don't usually say smart or deep things. It is recommended that the quotes be copyrighted or Confucius may steal them for his nefarious purposes. "May the force be with you".

This article is BS.
Quit fucking around and please
add some actual "content" to it.

This page has no adult content.
Would you add some?

The information contained in this article can cause emotional damage to women, children, ocelots, and metrosexuals.

If you are one of them, please see this article's page just for you.

This page was created by a complete ass. To save the article from being massacred, feel free to edit this article.

Someone seems to think that this article is Neutral. You can help Uncyclopedia by making it live or earthed.

You have new messages (show most recent).

WARNING
In accordance with the OMG U SRS???// act of 2002, all content of this article is to be believed, with no disputes whatsoever. (Hey, you voted for Bush, moron.)

This template is overused.
You can help Uncyclopedia by using it less.

DANGER
Blanking or vandalising this page can be deadly ... or worse.
666 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, and disfigured for daring to edit this page.
If you just got here and are mortally offended by these blatant lies, please read About Uncyclopedia and the Beginner's Guide,
then go fuck yourself. Seriously, that's a much safer alternative than anything else you have in mind.

?

This user prefers to be anonymous. That is, numbskull, they don't want you to know who they are.

This user is cooler than you.

1337

This user is elite.

ego

This user is a deluded egomaniac.

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave them a message »

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

sub

subliminal!

This user hates you and everyone you care about.

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

sub

subliminal!

This user should not be trusted.

This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.

This user wants to hurt you just to hear you screaming their name.

This user believes that admins
are control freaks.

NO

This user doesn't care.

This user's sex appeal is such that people around the world compulsively shout their name during intercourse.

hey!

The above wasn't my fault!

This user is addicted to video games.

This user is an adventurer.

This user can drift and beat D.K.

"This article has too many pastel-shaded boxes"

It may be hazardous to your health, if you are a jock.

This article is patent sense, and fails to meet the required standard of being devoid of meaningful content.
Please be a valiant and trustworthy Uncyclopedia editor and rectify this problem immediately.

The writer of this article is a pinko and has an outrageous liberal UK-centric outlook.
They may even work in Local government or, worse, be an unelected eurocrat. For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Mail. (Pstt. He's probably also a commie as well; quick - tell HUAC!)

THÏS ÄRTÏCLË RÄẄKS
Höẅëvër, ït nëëds mörë ümläüts.

.: WARNING :.

WARNING!

"Ubergrue" is considered to be a sacred word by the followers of the Islamic faith. In order to prevent detonation, please do not speak it in front of them.

They've found us! Quick, run! Burn the evidence!

This entire page is Top Secret. Please avert your eyes.

Stupid warning: Something stupid this way cometh.
This article is stupid. You can help Uncyclopedia by whacking it upside the head with a clue-by-four.

Subliminal warning: Hidden meaning or influence may follow… (if you can't read this, it may be too late!)

This article documents an event that you have missed.

You may have to time travel to experience it.

This page has too few signatures. Please add more.

UncyclopediA.

This page does not have enough templates.

Please remove some

This page has way too many images, most of which have nothing to do with the article. Please try improving the scripture to picture ratio.

You could have only gotten here if you knew the password. Do not tell anybody or you will get yoinked!

{{{3}}}

{{{4}}}

	You have won the Urkel Heart! This Uncyclopedian is very smart, annoying, and wears suspenders.

nj

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

This page may contain vanity.

Symptoms of vanity may include: mentioning a non-notable person and/or group, making too many references to sex, and generalization. However, there are some exceptions. Please see your doctor today to see if you have vanity disease.

This user's head A SPLODE.

.EDOLPS A DAEH S'RESU SIHT

ETP

Help end hunger! Eat the poor!

This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.

This user reserves the right to hunt down and destroy Essex girls.

This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in.

This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.

This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.

This user has eye beams.

This user believes Barney is evil, and therefore must die.

This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.

This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user is an Assault Soldier and is pWn1ng n00bs with their quarter gun.

my mood ring

jitters
anticipation
restless
thoughts

	a	b	c	d	e	f	g	h
8									8
7									7
6									6
5									5
4									4
3									3
2									2
1									1
	a	b	c	d	e	f	g	h

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z2

This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

ABYSS

This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

A x2

This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

ABYSS x?,???

This user IS The Abyss.

Zork

This user edits the Zork trilogy.

Abyss

This user edits The Abyss.

This user edits Grueslayer.

TA

This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.

    Domain ID:AAAAAAAAA!
    Domain Name:http://en.uncyclopedia.co
    DNS Info: A very accurate source of information.
    Registrant:Created by Oscar Wilde in 1865 BC
    Admin name:Oscar Wilde
    Admin name:Chronarion
    Server Overlord:Sophia
    Tech and DNS support:Learn how to be funny and not stupid

笨蛋

这个用户是一个笨蛋. 他可能不知道这写的什么.

TAILS

bu-A

This user speaks Bullet without a suppressor and can get a bit too noisy during an assassination.

typo-X

This uesr only spakes Tyop enouugh to seduec naitve Tyop spaekers.

MS
3

This user speaks their mind quite often. Be careful what you wish for.

Congratulations You have won the Unsung Hero Award!

Of course once you earn this award you are no longer "Unsung." Therefore the award is invalid as soon as it's awarded. So enjoy your non-award.

This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

Congratulations! You have reached the End of the Internet! Where would you like to go? East? West? North? South? Outside?
Now, go away, because I'm afraid that this article could asplode at any second and this template is no moon.
Note: This article is Bob Barker-approved. Really, it is.

“I've already reached the End of the Internet! Sadly, I had only got DSL a year before I reached it.”
~ Richard M. Stallman on The End of the Internet

Sign the EOTI guestbook!

This user is adorable.

[1] Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.

[2] Ibid.

[1]

[2]

User:Ubergrue

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User:Ubergrue

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