Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.

The author(s) must promptly be executed. Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.
This template may also be inaccurate.

Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia.

Uncyclopedia is the truth. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true, then it must be corrected so that it is true. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true.

The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human history, in which all is illuminated.”

– Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia

We live in the Pax Uncyclopædia: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique. The Founding Fathers of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do. So, the Founders, in their infinite wisdom, used reverse psychology They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.

Independent studies confirm that Uncyclopedia content has on average -400 errors per 1000 sentences. Recently it has also been found that The Onion provided false information about how much false information they provide, so this graph is out of date.

Repentance of Heretics

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.

Some have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.^{[peace and prayers be upon it]} In September 2000, they were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge, a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation and converted into a luxurious dining hall, complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically). After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented.

Scientific Research

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532% of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." Chuck Norris read this article for scientific research, and concluded it was over 9000% true, which then promptly caused him to time-travel five hundred years into the past.

Cite Your Sources or Die

Accuracy will save your life.

To ensure superior credibility, (if you can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie.) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted and its authors will be devoured by those scary rainbow things that I keep on seeing everywhere.

You must use MLA format for some citations. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines.

Controlled Substances

• Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
  • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
  • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.

• Non-hallucinogenic drugs are not considered as accurate as hallucinogenic drugs. However, you may cite them with the same format as hallucinogens provided that you take a very large dose. To figure out what that dose would be, take hallucinogens and ask whomever you meet during your trip.

Electronic Sources

• SPAM emails:
  • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
  • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth" minluv@newspeak.oca 25 December 2005.

Interesting People Whom You Meet

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society, Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources. You can just give a description of them.

• One Person:
  • Description of Person. Year.
  • That Guy Who Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
  • That Person the Martians Want to Get. 2002.

• One person being channeled through another person through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
  • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
  • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

When Should I Cite Sources?

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."{{cn}} If that happens, just cite the source.

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:

---

"You have a small penis [1]. 'You' has 3 letters [2]. An ant is absurd [3]. The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it .

References

• [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
• [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.
• [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.

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If you frequently find yourself conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our encyclopedia, but only if you cite your sources.

Miscellaneous Sources

• Demonic Possession:
  • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
  • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
• Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them. We hear their howls too . Just use this format:
  • Them. Date.
• Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
  • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date.
  • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
• The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia
  • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

Higher Standards©

The nextgoal for Uncyclopedia is to attain 800% truth -1200% fiction. In order to achieve this goal by 2022, every word in Uncyclopedia should be cited. By 2025, every letter will be cited. This will help us achieve 2600% accuracy . By 2030, even spaces will be cited.

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References

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Categories:

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• Holy Law of Uncyclopedia^{[citation needed]}
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