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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 40,315 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight My actual name is unknown. I forgot the dub in which they called me since my birth many years ago. One forgets so much when inflicting justice and bringing order to the universe. What day it is, I also don't remember; lightsaber radiation also has a deleterious effect on one's memory. My mind, much like my memory of how my face became red: empty. I have horns on my head, so I choose to rely on the idea that I am of a species called the Zabrak. My prime was during the Naboo crisis, which was indeed some swampy and dusty shit for the most part. I actually loved the Theed Royal Palace in which I invaded and never knew about the mining pit and its surroundings. I visited when I was younger and really appreciated the pillared columns and symmetrical architecture. My invasion was simply badass, much like my dual-sided lightsaber forged with the hateful, yet arousing energies of the dark side. And no, you may not touch it.(Full article...) Recently featured: UnBooks:Darth Maul's Diary Metalheads 9-11 Shoutbox Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget July 18: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day 1835 – Bobwire is invented by Bob "Two-thumbs" McGinty. 1863 – American Civil War: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, and Morgan Freeman charge a Confederate fort in what is commonly agreed to be one of the most passionate scenes in cinema history. 1872 – Britain introduces secret ballot voting so that aristocrats across the country may more convincingly drop their monocles in indignant surprise after the rabble have their way. 1879 – Oscar Wilde obtains the cane he becomes known for posing with during a contest of wit with a man owning a cane. 1883 – Jimmy the Cowboy is born in what is believed to be Kentucky. 1969 – Mary Jo Kopechne & Sen. Ted Kennedy plunge off Chappaquiddick Bridge, thus tying up all the lose ends. 1971 – Hunter S. Thompson has a rather nasty trip. Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day established in honor of this occasion. 1990 – Interruptions continued to occur in all aspects of daily business as people repeatedly were urged to "stop" during the period known as "Hammer Time". Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is procrastination Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: Boxer shorts, like a real man. And Bruce Lee black pants. Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!" (Pictured) Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that the White House is really off-white? Do you blimey care... ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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