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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 41,108 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight The Finals - the self-proclaimed best competitive shooter of this and all other universes. An elite club of connoisseurs has gathered around the game, which is why its average number of players on SteamBB is negative. The player has to participate in a virtual competition. Unlike the million-dollar prizes and chronic hemorrhoids that the winners of Dota 2 or Counter Strike competitions get, the best players of The Finals receive... good vibes... The game is sponsored by Republican Party of USA, Freemasons from Coca Cola, suits from AT&T and personally Mythbusters, a representative of all the above-mentioned groups. (Full article...) Recently featured: The Finals Fuck Around and Find Out Burj Khalifa Jangles (chimpanzee) Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget December 18: Suicidal Ideation Day 1271 - Genghis Khan renames local Chinese dish to Mongolian beef to secure his civilization's cultural legacy. 1892 - Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker premieres to a disappointed audience of dominatrices. 2005 - Civil War breaks out in Chad after a chronic whey powder shortage. 2005 - John Spencer, actor from The West Wing, smirks his last smirk after suffering a massive heart failure. 2006 - Saudi Arabia holds its first election to decide best system of governance: repressive Islamist theocratic monarchy wins by landslide! 2015 - The last coal mine in Great Britain closes, unemployed coal miners find jobs in broadcasting with their communication degrees. 2025 - Honestly, why do you even bother doing this? (Pictured) Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is procrastination Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: Take that, Betty White! Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! (Pictured) ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Pats fans accusing NFL refs of kissing the Bills' asses • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez • Chet Ubetcha • Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Patrick Mahomes' ACL and the Kansas City Chiefs' season • Rob Reiner. Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Dallas Cowboys' and Indianapolis Colts' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'! Do you blimey care... ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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