Babel:En

Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 39,603 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight White people (also delicately called Crackas, Caucasians, Europoids and Honkies) are pasty, melanin-deficient humans who have been sprinkled throughout the planet to exploit its resources and boss around everyone of more humble colors. White people are allegedly smart (in ways that don't really matter) and complain about stupid stuff, even though they have it better than every other race. Despite having more privilege than can fit in a human body, they don't believe this is the case and in fact, feel entitled to even more and want to you know this all the time. In fact, whites love to hear themselves talk so much that they assemble entire collections of their own words (known as books) which are mostly about them. Whites discriminate against everyone else. Non-whites, by comparison, don't discriminate against whites, because they don't have majority power, so it isn't discrimination even if they do. This means that even if a Chinese person said the most outrageous sounding racist thing against a cracker, it wouldn't be racist (see logic in previous sentence). If you don't get it, then you're racist. (Full article...) Recently featured: White people Finno-Korean hyperwar Wheeling Jesuit University Tenet (film) Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget April 15: Sinking of James Cameron's The Titanic Day 1 AD - The IRS is invented by angry accountants, thousands mourn. 1865 - Abraham Lincoln leaves a scathing Yelp review of Ford's Theatre on his way to the afterlife. 1912 - The RMS Titanic strikes an errant iceberg and starts to sink (Pictured), thankfully the passengers use the ship's many doors as makeshift life rafts and all survive. 1912 - Meanwhile, dozens of innocent Polar bears are severely injured as their iceberg is struck by an overrated piece of metal. Icebergs later sue for libel, loses to jury with three cruise ships. 1947 - Jackie Robinson breaks the color barrier, then reimburses Major League Baseball for it. 1989 - The Tiananmen Square square protests erupt over absolutely nothing. Move along, citizen. 2013 - Two Chechens bomb the Boston Marathon, Mark Wahlberg's pupils turn into dollar signs like in the cartoons. Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is deviation Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: The face of HATE! 4chan hacked, nobody cares Vatican commits simony YouTube child educator Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE (Pictured) Scientists revive some dead wolves because they can Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations Wayne Gretzky's all-time regular season goal record broken by Putin's Instagram buddyboo Donald Trump receives prestigious award for destroying the stock market Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence Kardashian and Ye do washed up things Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Everyone ditching some Disney live-action remake for A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • Americans scrambling last-minute to pay their taxes Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyes and ears • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401K • Jay North • The playoff bids of all New York State NHL teams Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Columbus Blue Jackets' playoff chances • Gawr Gura More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business? Do you blimey care... ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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