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Carnies are a nomadic people that originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Long known to the West for their seemingly strange customs and frequent wars with Muscovy’s infant Czarist kingdoms (and, later, the Russian Empire), Carnies have been instrumental in both the shaping of world history and the advancement of games based upon throwing balls into or at something from three to six feet away.

Archeological evidence suggests that Carnies originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Like most nomadic peoples, Carnie society depended heavily upon a tribal- or clan-based system. In the case of Carnies, a clan was known as a Carnival, and a group of many Carnivals in one place was known as a County Fair. (Full article...)

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Lest we forget

December 15: International Day of Björk (Iceland)

1939 - Classic movie Gone With the Wind first premieres as a travelling flipbook exhibition.
1945 - General Douglas MacArthur orders the Japanese to stop using those weird toilets with the tubes that spray water up your butt.
1978 - After the United States recognizes the People's Republic of China as the real China, Taiwan sinks into the sea.
1981 - The first suicide bombing is carried out in Beirut, Lebanon, declared a revolution in the terroristic arts.
1996 - Weirdo sends Björk (Pictured) a letter bomb after his copy of Homogenic is lost in the mail.
1970 - Soviet space probe lands on Venus, is declared the new "red planet."
1973 - The American Psychiatric Association adds "likes the taste of creamed corn" to list of debilitating mental illnesses.
2011 - Morphle is created by a man from The Slenderlands

Ye Royal Archives

Paddington Blair's word for today is
procrastination
Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.

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Auntie Beeb reports:

"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"

Google reveals least popular searches of 2024
Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them
Luigi cosplays as Robin Hood and guns down health insurance CEO; (Pictured) Americans rejoice
South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead
Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom
- ... and Hunter... and Fauci...
- Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th
Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match
Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
- "Nope!" says, judge
Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out
Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
Obama smears poop on daycare
Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality
UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump
Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America
2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow
TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"

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Do you blimey care...[edit source]

... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?

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Recent dispatches from the colonies:

United Empire Loyalist of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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