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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 40,981 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight The streets of Laredo are a collection of avenues, boulevards, parkways, and other thoroughfares in the city of Laredo, Texas, USA. They are known for their grid pattern, flat nature, and proximity to the city of Nuevo Laredo in neighbouring Mexico. The streets of Laredo are paved with asphalt, while some outer roads are mere concrete or gravel-like paths. All registered vehicles in Laredo ideally drive on these streets, as do segues, blood donation trailers and ice-cream carts which have differing licensing schemes. Pedestrians use these streets for going from one place to another in Laredo, although they usually keep to the sidewalk. Most streets have two lanes while bigger streets have multiple lanes. Notable thoroughfares in Laredo can even have up to eight lanes, and are considered among the most consequential streets of Laredo. Most of the streets of Laredo are fronted by buildings with street addresses. Some, however, are fronted only by vacant lots. All the streets of Laredo are at surface level minus underpasses, dug-in roads, overpasses and tunnels. (Full article...) Recently featured: Bill Clinton Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget April 5: National Bullying Day (Scotland) 1614 - Pocahontas sells life story to Disney for a handful of plastic beads 1640 - King Charles I of England disbands the Short Parliament because "Who cares what happens to short people?" 1945 - USSR deploys troops in Yugoslavia to act as security at TATU gig. 1955 - Winston Churchill gives up politics and goes into insurance. 1979 - Robin dies of Bat-AIDs, a grieving Batman later patents the first Bat-Condoms. 1992 - Several hundred thousand abortion rights demonstrators march on top of babies in Washington D.C. 2000 - Global warming is first linked to the phenomenon of climate change. Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is ban Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that hand transplant patients (Pictured) celebrate by masturbating? ... that I am inside your walls? ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?" ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away? Do you blimey care... ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured) ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living? ... that a camel's boobies are on its back? ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace... ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that I am inside your walls? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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