~ User:Uncyclopedian on DiZ“/me headbutts DiZtheGreat”
~ User:Ununbilium on DiZ“He had sex with my sister. I am honored to be that close to him.”
~ User:Electrified mocha chinchilla on DiZ
|IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!|
Jeffrey the Dancing Banana has blessed this article,
The Paean of DiZ
Hail our King! Of all the creations
That the gods did make, of all the
Beasts and flying creatures and the
Sunlight on bounding waters;
Of the mountains whose tops pierce
The clouds like the pikes of war-thirsty
Warriors, craving the throne of the
Of the spirits who lull in the woods
And the dragons that crawl in the mines;
The beasts that fill the skies with
Their shrieking calls;
Of all these things the gods did create,
Dwarfed in stature, dwarfed in grandeur,
Was there one creation whose making
Undid their glory;
Oh! great mountain of power,
Pillar of strenght, stream of grace!
Yours is of the gods in heaven,
Make your voice known!
My arms are trunks of oak
My legs are buckling stone
My shoulders are shear cliffs
My nails are elephant bone.
- They carved him from a granite quarry
- Torn from the sinews of the earth by a
- Thousand heaving beasts of every size.
- They chiseled his features with hammers
- And daggers whose steel so fine, it cut
- The very stars from the veil of the skies.
My sinews are warped copper
My bones are tempered steel
My knuckles are mountain peaks
My belly hard as a ship's keel.
- His sinews twist with the sound of thunder
- And crackle like lightning on the waters;
- His footfalls echo across the lands.
- His voice sounds across the churning seas
- As the sky trembles before his call
- And his very breath shifts the sands.
My eyes are flaring suns
My broad back is a battle-field
My teeth are white war-horses
My skin is an iron shield.
Woe is he who should face your wrath;
Woe is he who should cross your path;
Woe is he who should enter your sight;
Woe is he who should challenge your might;
For thou art DiZ, king of all
Who sits on your golden throne;
And by the gods that shift the very heavens
Your voice will be known.
|UnBooks Author of the Month August 2006|
Awards that I gave myself
Awards that other people have given to me
Prime Choice Cutlets (PCCs)
These are what I consider to be my best works, but that's not really saying much:
- UnBooks:Pudgic Bible (UnBook of the Month, bitch!)
- UnBooks:A Million Little Reese's Pieces
- UnBooks:Uncyclopedia for Dummies (UnBooks featured, Main Page Feature)
These are my favorites from other people:
- Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor
- My Chemical Romance
- New Age Psychology
- UnBooks:The World According to Garm
- UnBooks:Pat Robertson's Christian Pocket Dictionary
- The white guy in All-4-One
Members of my Inner Circle
- Hardwick Fundlebuggy
- Electrified mocha chinchilla
- General Tso's Chicken
These people haven't signed up for my 18-week CorePacket(tm), and are honorary members of my Inner Circle(tm), mostly because I like em (and I think they may like me...maybe...):
My Pledge to You
Here at DiZ Inustries ®, we strive to bring you top-quality, reliable products. Doesn't work out most of the time, but at least we try, we try...And in the end, isn't that what consumers really want? A company that gives their all into ensuring their client's satisfaction, even at the price of complete sub-par mediocracy.