User:DiZ

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THIS USER HAS


FUCKED OFF.


GO AWAY.


|o|u|r|o|b|o|r|o|s
my anti-drug
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Commander of the Order
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This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them.
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This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.
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This User is a zookeeper at the UnBestiary. Don't mind the smell.
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Cuba
This user is Cuban
¡all your base are belong to Fidel Raúl!
(List of Cuban Uncyclopedians)
Cuba
es-N
This user is a native speaker of Español.
es-N
en-0
This user does not understand English (or understands it with considerable difficulties).
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sv-1
This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Swedish.
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us-3
This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of American English.
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Tihs suser is s anative spealer fo Typpo.
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This user speaks Spanglish at a near-native level.
sp-4
elv-X
This user only speaks Elvish enough to seduce native Elvish speakers .
elv-X
sa-3
This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Sarcasm.
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do-4
This user speaks Dolphin at a near-native level.
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la-0
This user does not understand Latin (or understands it with considerable difficulties).
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This f****r speaks Pikachu heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
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This user speaks Ouroboros at a near-native level.
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al-E
This user only speaks the Ancient Language because it was a required course in school.
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du-G
This user does not speak Dumbass and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all Dumbass speakers.
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ah-4
This user speaks Asshat at a near-native level.
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bs-P
This f****r speaks Bullsh!t heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
bs-P
17-G
This user does not speak 1337 and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all 1337 speakers.
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This user can say "cunt" in 30 different languages.
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This user is either a monarch or a megalomaniac.
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$$$
This user is a libertarian, so they think you would have been better off aborted, hippie!
$$$
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This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
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46
This user has written 46 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.
46
Dialing…
Verifying username and password…
Shit! This user contributes using dial-up!
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This user has been blocked
5 times.
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This user is a boy and wields a penis happy stick.
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This user is a paladin.
Hide your demons and undead.
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This user is a sinner, and bows before Satan.
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This user is not a number,
they are a free person!
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This user knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled.
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250px-Eragon.jpg Yes, this user is a fan of Eragon. No, they are not retarded.
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This user is a Taahgaarxian. Run, atheists, run!
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This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
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\m/
I am a metalhead; I wear offensive shirts, I headbang to really loud music. I have long hair, but am not a hippie.
\m/
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This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.
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This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.
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This user hates you and everyone you care about.
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This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
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This user should not be trusted.
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Dueldragons.jpg This user chose Ice because they're a pussy.
Pegasus small.png This user is convinced that any Pegasus is far superior to a Unicorn. No unicorn small.png
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This person helps reduce over-population by killing people, thus helping the environment.
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This user worships Ouroboros and joyously celebrates Its return.
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This user raises their own chickenbox.
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This user is a member of DiZ's
inner circle, and the Omnipotent King. Fear them.
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This User has been officially punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their mistakes and don't get flogged.
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Goldensilkorb-weaver.jpg This user lives in Florida. By the time you read this, they've probably been mauled by some ferocious beast.
Dar-ape.jpg This user is an evolutionist and is not afraid to say he came from a monkey's cunt.
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This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.
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This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!
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For those obsessed with the so-called experts, DiZ also has a userpage on the English Wikipedia.
Thou art an example of pure perfection.

User:Uncyclopedian on DiZ

/me headbutts DiZtheGreat

User:Ununbilium on DiZ

He had sex with my sister. I am honored to be that close to him.

User:Electrified mocha chinchilla on DiZ

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This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!


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This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!


Peanut-Butter-Jelly-Time! IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Jeffrey the Dancing Banana has blessed this article,
talk page, or template with his bodacious moves.
Jeffrey lives only to dance!

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This article contains way too much information.

Absorbing any of it may cause one's head to a splode. You can help Uncyclopedia by adding stuff. 


The Paean of DiZ[edit]

BEHOLD YOUR NEW KING, DiZ THE GREAT.

Hail our King! Of all the creations
That the gods did make, of all the
Beasts and flying creatures and the
Sunlight on bounding waters;

Of the mountains whose tops pierce
The clouds like the pikes of war-thirsty
Warriors, craving the throne of the
Beckoning skies;

Of the spirits who lull in the woods
And the dragons that crawl in the mines;
The beasts that fill the skies with
Their shrieking calls;

Of all these things the gods did create,
Dwarfed in stature, dwarfed in grandeur,
Was there one creation whose making
Undid their glory;

Oh! great mountain of power,
Pillar of strenght, stream of grace!
Yours is of the gods in heaven,

Make your voice known!


My arms are trunks of oak
My legs are buckling stone
My shoulders are shear cliffs
My nails are elephant bone.

They carved him from a granite quarry
Torn from the sinews of the earth by a
Thousand heaving beasts of every size.
They chiseled his features with hammers
And daggers whose steel so fine, it cut
The very stars from the veil of the skies.

My sinews are warped copper
My bones are tempered steel
My knuckles are mountain peaks
My belly hard as a ship's keel.

His sinews twist with the sound of thunder
And crackle like lightning on the waters;
His footfalls echo across the lands.
His voice sounds across the churning seas
As the sky trembles before his call
And his very breath shifts the sands.

My eyes are flaring suns
My broad back is a battle-field
My teeth are white war-horses
My skin is an iron shield.


Woe is he who should face your wrath;
Woe is he who should cross your path;

Woe is he who should enter your sight;
Woe is he who should challenge your might;


For thou art DiZ, king of all
Who sits on your golden throne;
And by the gods that shift the very heavens
Your voice
will be known.


Awards[edit]

Awards I've Stolen Earned[edit]

Author of the Month Award UnBooks Author of the Month August 2006
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This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!


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This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!


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Featured UnBook: Uncyclopedia for Dummies

This person created an UnBook which became one of the featured on Uncyclopedia's UnBooks.


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Featured UnBook: Pudgic Bible

This person created an UnBook which became one of the featured on Uncyclopedia's UnBooks.


Awards that I gave myself[edit]

Awards that other people have given to me[edit]

See User:DiZ/Praise

Prime Choice Cutlets (PCCs)[edit]

DiZ the Great, as an emissary on one of his many voyages to the kingdom of South Park.

These are what I consider to be my best works, but that's not really saying much:

These are my favorites from other people:

Members of my Inner Circle[edit]

Official Members[edit]

These are the people who have joined me and my evil death cult, either by force or out of choice (not necesaarily their choice). I currently have 23 members in my inner circle. Odin approves.

He Who Guideth Mine Hand, the Inexorable One, Lord Ouroboros

Primary Order[edit]

Secondary Order[edit]

Honorary[edit]

These people haven't signed up for my 18-week CorePacket(tm), and are honorary members of my Inner Circle(tm), mostly because I like em (and I think they may like me...maybe...):

My Pledge to You[edit]

DiZ.gif

Here at DiZ Inustries ®, we strive to bring you top-quality, reliable products. Doesn't work out most of the time, but at least we try, we try...And in the end, isn't that what consumers really want? A company that gives their all into ensuring their client's satisfaction, even at the price of complete sub-par mediocracy.