UnBooks:The Boy Who Cried Wolf

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Hark! Let ye hear the tale of the foolish boy who cried "Wolf!", lest ye repeat his foolish mistakes.

The Boy and the Hill (and the Sheep)[edit | edit source]

Once upon a time, a boy, who nobody liked, was sent to a hill to watch some sheep, while the rest of the village had much ado with piñatas, fondue and date rape. The boy, meanwhile, amused himself for a time by rolling the sheep down the hill into the river (in a game he called Sheep Go Splash). However, he realized that people would eventually notice all the sheep corpses. Also, he was running out of sheep.

The Boy's Revenge[edit | edit source]

The boy was angry because he could see the people in the village below having fun without him. He was also quite bored, as sheep rolling was nowhere near as much fun as what he was observing in the village. Instead, he thought it would be good sport to pretend there was a wolf terrorizing the sheep, and summon the whole village like the utter tosspot he was. It also provided him with a good excuse for all those missing sheep.

So the boy cried out "Wolf! Wolf! There's a wolf here eating your precious sheep!" and the villagers ran up the hill brandishing pitchforks - despite the fact that they would hardly have heard his plaintive cries over the sound of The Thong Song. When they got there there was no wolf, only an annoying boy laughing and wetting himself. All three concepts were disliked by the entire population, who summarily set off back to the village in a conga line.

The Boy's Revenge (Part II, Part III, Part IV)[edit | edit source]

The boy found his trick to be such good fun that he tried it again and again and again, never realizing that the villagers would eventually get sick of coming up to find a hill entirely devoid of vicious bloodthirsty wolves. Naturally these were somewhat retarded villagers, as any hill without vicious, bloodthirsty wolves would be preferable to any hill with vicious, bloodthirsty wolves. Nonetheless, the villagers were getting sick of the prank.

The Boy Cries Wolf One Time Too Many[edit | edit source]

When the boy tried the trick a fifth time, the villagers were really angry, and not only because someone had spiked the punch. He had disrupted their dubious parties four times now and they were pissed (in two different ways, no less). The villagers rushed up the hill and stabbed the boy in the eyes and the temples with their pitchforks. Later that evening, a real wolf arrived and ate the boy's bloodied carcass and all of the sheep on the hill. The villagers, meanwhile, were trying to find out who could piss highest up a wall, and so neither knew nor cared about the irony.

The Moral of the Story[edit | edit source]

Don't piss people off or they'll stab you. Also, don't leave people you don't like in charge of your livestock.