Mantuition
 | This article needs to be grown
|
Mantuition is similar to intuition differing only in its manliness. Unlike "women's intuition," "mantuition" is a single word. Grammatically, it's much less possessive. Logically, it isn't.
Mantuition is right all the time! You don't need to stop an ask for directions, you have mantuition. Mantuition comes from male manmary glands, located directly beneath a man's breasticles. A man's mantuition will often give them the feeling of male supremacy. A powerful surge that the manswer to the given question is like manmunition, fueling more and more mantuition ... kind of like beer in the fuel tank for the love machine.
Uses of Mantuition[edit | edit source]
Mantuition can be used in a variety of ways to gain a very definite insight into events that would otherwise be confusing, potentially embarrassing or otherwise irksome, thus allowing the man using it to focus on the important business of getting things done, without having to worry about inconvenient factors like facts or consequences.
Examples of mantuition include:
- "Of COURSE there's room for another beer, it's not like I'm driving very far."
- "Instructions are for quitters. It obviously goes like this!"
- "She wants it. I hope she's over 18."
- "The government just says that to try and keep us down!"
- "RAAAGHHHGRR!!! I am all that is man!"
Possible Side-Effects of Mantuition[edit | edit source]
A downside of mantuition is that it often compels the man to tell lame Dad jokes. Although mantuition is reliable, hard-headed and of course very manly, if used irresponsibly possible side effects may include but are not limited to:
- Inducing vomiting in females
- Causing headaches in coworkers
- Everything from The Hangover movie series
- Possible Incarceration
- Condemnation from parental units
- Unwanted impregnation
- The need for constant mansplaining
- Manscaping to the point of metrosexuality
Unfortunately, 'irresponsibly' is the only possible way to use mantuition. Anyone who does it differently is just a big, flouncy, hippy-lovin' pansy.
External links[edit | edit source]
- Mantuition.com! - Topical mix of examples of male brain-bypass