Confusing
“He, enamored with wizen wisdom, with whom by neither slander nor deceives that with which generally but not gradually permeates into the passing mind, nor statements, nor ideas startling - a wound in the flesh - are successful in not failing for from that where they may, through hell tormented, called by statements of wizen but deprived wisdom intelligent indeed. But he, in decietful ignorance, cunning with malignance with whom by neither knows nor cares to know nor possess upon he, in deceitful but lacking malignance, than with whom he seeks into depth the world, is, in words unbeknowst the wizen man, stoutly confusing.”
“Confusing confuses, confounds and convolutes me Confucius!”
“Fucking Chinese people...”
So, dearest reader, who by and by chance but not fate withstanding, have wondered by and upon this etching page with hope neither self-deceiving in that by which through nature obsequious found but only in those too whose earliest days were marred betwixt denigration by they that, by instinctive nature, should have, yet did not, love and cherish. Nor blatant apathy as for that by which, of all failures of the ever fattening cock, possibly present in you, dearest reader, know and finds not only irrelevance but also irreverence, and with thus you cock upon within by that which indeed covets of knowledge and stumbles by this arcticle. In askance and in question, you wonder:
What is the meaning of "confusing"
History of confusing[edit | edit source]
The idea of confusing was first discovered by a confused Confucian philosopher Confucius in the confounding era of confusion while he was confirming the creation of corn compounds in complimentary condiments. During that time, Confucius's son, Confused, confused the concept of confusion with the considerably more confusing concept of confusing the confused into confusing other confused concepts with connivingly confident cunning conmen until it eventually carried back and confused Confused's career and created confusion in the already confused Confused's confounded father Confucius which caused him to condemn Confused considerably. The confused son of Confused's grandfather's grandson, Confusing, attempted to un-confuse the Confucius family's confusing confusion by re-confusing the yet un-confused by asking Confused to confuse Confusing into confusing Confucius into confusion by further confusing his cousin, Confusion, into confusion by confusing Confucius with Confused's confused confusion Confusing confused with Confusion's confusion to confuse Confuse's confusion by them all confusing Confucius into confusion and so consolidating Confused’s confusion into one confidential confederacy through contemporary nuclear fusion but confuses Confused Confucius not into Confusion - since that was his cousin.
And the rest is history. {{#switch: {{#if: 1==1|{{#if: 1==1|{{#if: 1==1|{{#if: 1==1|{{#if: 1==1|none|||||}}|none=none|yes=yes|confusing, isn't it?}}</nowiki>
Methods of confusing[edit | edit source]
Confused or are you Confused? You shouldn’t be, we haven’t even started.
Self-contradiction[edit | edit source]
The best method to instill confusion is to constantly contradict yourself; this method is generally extremely effective at creating confusion and can’t be countered. However, the author of this article is always and forever a compulsive liar – he can’t help himself but lie, and so he may very well try to deceive you, reader, by telling you a method that won’t work. After all, this method has a keen weakness in that an astute man could easily unconfused himself by refusing to be confuse if he’s strong in his confidence – this renders this method worthless ineffective and easily countered. However, because the author could’ve lied about lying, there’s no way to know for sure the effectiveness of this method…unless that too was a lie and you can, in fact, know the effectiveness of this method…but then, that could’ve been a lie too…but so could that…and this…and so on…or maybe that was the end…
Spam commas, prepositions, conjunctions, pronouns, to-be verbs, etc.[edit | edit source]
The method, first used in this world by really lame writers, by that, a pronoun, causes through that by which man finds most confusing, the most confusion, but unconfused, onto and into paper is perhaps by this method – as it is very neither that seeming tricky nor intense. Through poor, the abject absence of it but abundance of (the other) it, sentence structure, and syntax, and wording is already, by itself, confusing as that by which it never was but could nevertheless however be - it is, but, that of which is a word belonging to the conjunction family, coupled within by which that of unnecessary nor unneeded conjunction as seen in every piece of literature, as some sort of proof it by that which they find those as a sort of prize, makes it that much worse.
Begin sentences with “nor”[edit | edit source]
Nor is it a particularly bad idea to do so, as this forces the reader to go back and look for the neither – as in neither a good idea nor an astute one. Nor is it particularly smart by which nevertheless produces the desired confusing. Nor cocks, for they are tasty.
Write in accents[edit | edit source]
“’Tis baat ze ‘martist ‘eth’d te ‘ake ze ‘on’phu’zing ‘cuz noo’ van ccccc’ gan’ana ‘no wha’ ta’ ph’aaa’ ke’ c’oo ‘re a’ying. ‘Cuz ye’ ‘t go’ana b’ une’ ‘ell ‘ah’v a bee’ tch’ t3’h reeeee’ d’ zh’is shit. See’ri’us’lee, hoo’ ‘nn ‘ell c’n r’ad’ zhi’s ‘’it?! ‘ f‘’’’ e‘’ d‘’ ‘’ ‘’’e ‘’ ‘’ e‘’ ‘ ef‘’ ‘ ad‘’ e‘ ‘ f‘’ ‘a’’ ‘’d ‘’f ‘’ea ‘’ g‘’ ‘’ ‘ea ‘’ ‘’ df‘ ‘ ‘g’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘f’ ‘ ‘’ da‘ ‘’d’’’ ‘’as’’’ a‘ df‘’ ‘’efa ‘’ ‘ ‘df’” Confused? Hell yeah, even I don’t know what the last part said.
Give contradicting warnings[edit | edit source]
Warning, DO NOT READ THIS TEXT WHICH IS WRITTEN IN ALL-CAPS; DOING SO DISQUALIFIES YOU FROM CLAIMING WINNING $100 BILLION DOLLARS.
Obligatory Bush quotes (They're real)[edit | edit source]
“I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here”
“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.”
“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.”
See Also[edit | edit source]