Testicular torsion

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Testicles are present in most male animals. They also often get used in your dinner. See those meatballs? They were cut out of a male cow's sausage.

Like if your dwinkle starts rolling on its side, if your testis starts rolling around, it hurts. The name of this rare occurrence is Testicular Torsion.

Pains of testicular torsion[edit | edit source]

Only very few men know what it feels like when your meatballs start rolling. It hurts. Like FUCK! If you don't go to hospital to get the rotation undone, you'll die in 5 hours! [1]

Don't try to fix it yourself, let the doctor do it. Sure, they open you up with a saw, but its painless.

They then fix it up and you feel like you beat the final boss of life. No. Its only the Wall of Flesh. Now your a man, life is much harder. Like how now mummy and daddy wont let you play videogames all day long anymore.

How to get your meatballs rollin'[edit | edit source]

The best way to get your balls doing the 560o is ask someone to kick you in the nuts over and over because they are stupid idiots who don't understand how much it fucking hurts. Then your balls will be loose in their bag and start doing stuff they wouldn't do normally.

As if the pain of getting kicked wasn't bad enough, but in a year's time you will wake up in pain. Pain even the manliest of men wont be able to stand. Then go to hospital and wait for 9 hours while the doctors forget you are there and your meatball dies and needs to get cut out cuz they couldnt get to you 2 hours faster.[2] Don't let this happen to you! [3]

What to do after having your testis saved (or removed)[edit | edit source]

Your dad should have meatballs and peas for dinner. So make sure not to listen when mum tells you about it and putting you off the already terrible hospital food.

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

So the next time you have meatballs for dinner, remember to honor where it came from and the pains of the cow it came from. And for fucks sake, don't roll them around!

See also[edit | edit source]

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. More like 24, and more like your testicle rather than you.
  2. Or at least something like that. One of my balls are half dead.
  3. Or do, so you know the annoyance I feel.