Lets see, Heinz beans (beep), Heinz beans (beep), budgie kernels (beep), clear nail lacquer (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero bar (beep), Aero Bar (beep), Whats this? Oh, dear – look at the Queen now, you’d think that she’d try an look smart before its too late wouldn’t you? Oh, dear, no price on this People Magazine is there.
Thanks Ernie - just give me a holler when you find it.
Oh, no - its no trouble at all, really, this is why we have Ernie. Dearie, you mustn’t worry, this type of thing happens all of the time. All sorts of people need all sorts of things in the world and thats why we at Uncyclopedia Mart believe in tip top customer service.
What was that Ernie? No, you have the wrong item. Excuse me, Ernie's a bit deaf, I’ll have to use the microphone...no microphone? Deary don't you worry, they can hear it in the next store. I SAID: YOU HAVE THE WRONG FUCKING THING. I SAID PRICE CHECK FOR URANUS BRAND ADULT DIAPERS AND HURRY, THIS ONES BEGINNING TO DRIBBLE ON THE FLOOR!
There we go, just took a minute. So, do you have any coupons, love? Oh, here he comes now. Oh, thank you Ernie.
That’ll be 25.11, Vicar. Paper or plastic?
Thank you and have a blessed day.
Good afternoon Madam. Such a sweet lad our Jimmy. Well then, were you able to find what you were looking for today? No? Oh, you'll find cases of penicillin in back in our Jumbo Generic Department. Let just page Ernie and he'll escort you back there...
Maybe try another store...
Having trouble with that other pesky ethnocentric Price check place? We here at Uncyclopedia understand it can be difficult to assimilate the culture, racial overtones, and sexually explicit statements made by this author. Wearing adult diapers is no laughing matter, especially if you’re a priest.
While the article speaks of consuming beans, several aero bars, and something called tongue it would seem logical that Tums should also be purchased. Probably the most disturbing product mentioned is fisting butter (also known by it's popular name brand ‘Silent Duckbutter’ a product that renders every hole a fisting ready pit). While a real item, it’s not sold at Uncyclopedia Mart due to it’s overuse by the admins.