Price check/Lite

Here we have a whiter friendlier price check.

Having trouble with that other pesky ethnocentric Price check article? We here at Uncyclopedia understand it can be difficult to assimilate the culture, racial overtones, and sexually explicit statements made by this author. Wearing adult diapers is no laughing matter, especially if you’re a priest.

Let me disabuse you of the notion that priests only like young boys working at your local supermarket. They like God a lot too. Enough to give up liking young boys? Well, let's not get carried away.

Pleasure is derived more from eating the turkey than fisting it.

While the article speaks of consuming beans, several aero bars, and something called tongue it would seem logical that Tums should also be purchased. Probably the most disturbing product mentioned is fisting butter (also known by it's popular name brand ‘Silent Duckbutter’ a product that renders every hole a fisting ready pit). While a real item, it’s not sold at Uncyclopedia Mart due to it’s overuse by the admins.