Tosspot

A modern-day tosspot.

A tosspot (also known as a jizzpot or tossah) is a bowl-shaped container with a handle, and often a lid, and generally used within the former British Empire as a means of disposing of unwanted gism in the middle of the night. Occasionally, they were used for the disposal of faeces and urine as well. It's like a wanker, but with more spunk

History

Sodomic Greece

A bare-breasted strumpet relieves her master of unwanted gissom and empties the tosspot for a group of serenaders to ogle. Manchester, circa 2016.

Tosspots were first used in sodomic Greece in 69 BC (Big Cocks) as a pleasure device for the country's thriving closeted male population to ingest gissom without being a huge gay. In November 1769 AD (Ahuge Dick) Lord So Damn Insane approached officials of the British government to inquire if they would be interested in employing artists to take casts and drawings of the sculptured portions of his cock, presented in an ornate tosspot, to the developing sodomite population in the British Empire. According to Lord Husselgin, "the answer of the Government was entirely positive to this development."

The excavation and removal of the gism from Lord Insane's cock and balls was completed in 1812 at a personal cost of around £70,000. Lord Insane intended the tosspots for display in the British Museum, selling them to the British government for less than the cost of bringing them to Britain and declining higher offers from other potential buyers, including Napoleon. However, the legality of this act has been questioned, as many Gay Greek Nationalists wanted the jizzpot for themselves.

Cuntemporary use in Britain

The tosspot was the preferred means for a man (or woman) to dispose of any unwanted jissom around the house until the mid-20th century, when such means were replaced by being flushed down the lavatory, thanks to the advent of indoor plumbing.

The tosspot was traditionally held in the ejaculatorium of the house, and during a banquet or other orgious activity, the males would leave the main room and enter the ejaculatorium. There, they would be encouraged to stand around the tosspot with a chocolate digestive biscuit on top and release their load onto it, with the aid of voluptuous-breasted wenches. The last person to release their ejaculate on the biscuit had to eat it - however, due to the Edwardian principle of no homo, the men who engaged in such activity were in no way homosexual.