Tic-Tac-Toe

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Modern Tic-tac-toe board.

Often referred to as "the thinking man's board game", Tic-Tac-Toe is generally considered to be the first strategy game ever made in narnia as well as the game which utilises strategy the most, and this is why we use it to make cheese and dumplings. However, it has undergone a surprising amount of evolution, although Christian scientists would disagree.

Origins[edit | edit source]

Octosaaitii's version[edit | edit source]

In alpha tests, Tic-Tac-Toe had only one square and required only "one in a row" for the player to win. Both were later increased to three, against Gahay's wishes.

The game of Tic-Tac-Toe was invented by Ur Gahay, an Octosaaitii from Planet Reno, during the beginning of time. He got the concept for the game when he watched a rerun of Hollywood Squares. The original version of Tic-Tac-Toe could be played only when the nine planets of the solar system were aligned in a perfect square. The two Octosaaitiis would take turns dropping nukes on the planets, and the first to nuke an entire line of planets was declared the winner.

Gahay received a patent for Tic-Tac-Toe. The reasons for this are unknown, as Planet Reno has no patent office, and the patent just appeared out of nowhere one day. Nevertheless, for the next seventeen years, producers of cheap knock-offs stopped copying Tic-Tac-Toe out of fear of a lawsuit.

The Great Nuclear Arms Shortage plagued Planet Reno, causing games of Tic-Tac-Toe to be outlawed. Fortunately, the shortage ended in May of 2005, and you can once again nuke any planet you wish.

Man's version[edit | edit source]

Eventually, mankind started to notice the Octosaaitii's game. In the year 4800 BC, they decided they'd make a similar game. However, unlike the Octosaaitii's version that comes in an ordinary box, the humans decided they could sell more if the box had flashy colours and had EXTREME MARKETING. They were right. The human version quickly became more popular, and outsold all other variants. Another notable difference is that human Tic-Tac-Toe is played with pen and paper.

Modifications over the years[edit | edit source]

Pharaoh's Rules[edit | edit source]

In 1999 BC, United States Pharaoh Alex Trebek made a revolutionary change to the way Tic-Tac-Toe is played, called "Pharaoh's Rules". The game was played the same way as before, but with one change: the loser's race became the victim of genocide. Note that back then, Pharaoh's Rules were played by default unless it was implied that the game is for fun; this is different from modern Tic-Tac-Toe where Pharaoh's Rules apply only if it is written expressly that they apply. HOBITS LIKE to play a certain type of tic tac toe called bobo. In thier culture it is what makes you a man if you can beat a pineapple in tic tac toe!

Cheating[edit | edit source]

After the death of Moses, mankind agreed that The Ten Commandments no longer applied. Of course this was disproved when The Ghost of Moses came to Earth and kicked some sinner ass and buttocks in 750 AD, but before then cheating was on the rise. Here is a small sample of the cheats that were frequently used in the millennia when cheating was frequent.

  • You could add your letter to any square at any time if your opponent turned away or left the room.
  • You could add your letter to any square at any time if your opponent was blind.
  • At the end of your turn, you could take another turn if you added your letter without giving the other guy a chance.
  • You could kill the other guy and burn the game which you would win.
  • If you lose, you could insist that the game is best n+1 out of 2n+1, where n is how many times the other guy has won.

The Hundred Years Tic-Tac-Toe[edit | edit source]

The longest game ever played lasted over a century, and was played between the French and the English in 1337. The needless deaths ended in 1453 when the French put an O in the bottom left square, ignorant to the fact that the English were one square away from having the entire top row.

Renaissance[edit | edit source]

During the Renaissance, new ways of thinking were common. Many people started to use atomic microscopes to play games of Tic-Tac-Toe that were invisible to the naked eye. In fact, Leonardo DaVinci compiled billions of these games and used them to "paint" The Mona Lisa.

The British[edit | edit source]

The British call Tic-Tac-Toe "noughts and crosses", since litigation in 1905 by the makers of Tic-Tac™ mints restricted the term's use to their product.

The Mexicans[edit | edit source]

When brought into Mexico by a returned border jumper, the man Juanito Juanuel called the game in a fair attempt at English "Tic taco con toe". This is played with one horizontal line and two lines, unless only one can be made due to lack of resources. It is played by placing items into the spaces, whatever is available (usually broken glass or a pebble). The winner in this case is he who still has items to place. The loser forfeits all placed items to the winner and goes home broke. In many cases a fight breaks out, and a knife is pulled (unless the knife was put down as a bet).

Nazism[edit | edit source]

In the 1930s, the Nazis decided to declare war on various peoples who did not appreciate Tic-Tac-Toe. Ironically, the Nazis themselves did not have true appreciation for the sport, as their version of the Tic-Tac-Toe board, which was sewn on their flags, was startlingly inaccurate. Tic Tac Toe has been known ever since ...

PPPPPPPPPP

written in khabele.

Modern Tic-Tac-Toe[edit | edit source]

In today's technology-based world, it is now possible to play Tic-Tac-Toe on the computer. Here are the simple to follow instructions to install it on your computer:

  1. Run Notepad.
  2. Go to the Format menu and select Font.
  3. Change the font size to 72.
  4. Hold shift, and press "3".
  5. Get a friend and a Sharpie, and play!