Zork

Warning: The following text might contain spoilers.

This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that The kids in Narnia died in a train wreck in the first book, and Narnia is actually Heaven, which is destroyed in the last book, Tippi and Count Bleck were Timpani and Blumiere, respectively, Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter defeat the archangel together so that Lyra and Will can save the world, "Shell City" was a gift shop, Lightning McQueen loses the race, Homestar Runner shot Caleb Rentpayer, Richard Hatch wins, Seinfeld and his friends are found guilty, Oedipus fulfills the Oracle's prophesy by killing his dad and fucking his mom, Norrington steals Davy Jones' heart, Captain America bequethed his shield to Stephen Colbert, Neo gets turned into a Smith shortly after causing a reaction that causes all the Smiths to die, thus, he dies, Aeneas leaves Dido so she kills herself, Akuma Kills M. Bison with the Shun Goku Shatsu, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

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InvisiClues	Score: 0, duh	Moves: 0
Welcome to the Zork InvisiClues menu! Since you obviously have both the gaming skills of a limbless rabbit and the self-restraint of a limbless rabbit in heat, we at Unfocom have provided you with a series of ambiguous hints and wildly inaccurate prophecies so that you, too, can produce the Victory screen on your monitor for a few seconds and thus receive full product satisfaction! What is the story/premise/point of Zork? How do I win the game? What is a Grue? How do you stop the Grue from eating you? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? No, seriously, how do I stop the Grue from eating me?! How do I activate God Mode? How do I get ye sword? How do I pronounce xyzzy correctly? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? What do I do with the knife? How do I get the flashlight without the boy killing me? What do I do with the batteries? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? How do I unlock the hermitically sealed door? Where's the gold key? Where's the silver key? Where's the unobtanium key? Where's the depleted uranium key? Where's the "any" key? How do I check the stolic without exploding? How do I destroy the ATM machine? How do I open the ceiling hatch? How do I stop the Grue King from charging? How do I solve the maze? How do I get the bolt cutters without falling into the hole? How do I defeat the Feminine-Looking Wizzard? How do I get the ladder without getting killed? How do I have sex with the Grue? Which door leads to the final boss? How do I mine for fish? Go north How do I one-hit-kill Morgoth? How do I bring Aeris back to life? How do I use extreme sarcasm to kill the Grues? How do I reach a random text page? Go back