Zork

InvisiClues	Score: 0, duh	Moves: 0
Welcome to the Zork InvisiClues menu! Since you obviously have both the gaming skills of a limbless rabbit and the self-restraint of a limbless rabbit in heat, we at Unfocom have provided you with a series of ambiguous hints and wildly inaccurate prophecies so that you, too, can produce the Victory screen on your monitor for a few seconds and thus receive full product satisfaction! What is the story/premise/point of Zork? How do I win the game? What is a Grue? How do you stop the Grue from eating you? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? No, seriously, how do I stop the Grue from eating me?! How do I activate God Mode? How do I get ye sword? How do I pronounce xyzzy correctly? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? What do I do with the knife? How do I get the flashlight without the boy killing me? What do I do with the batteries? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? How do I unlock the hermitically sealed door? Where's the gold key? Where's the silver key? Where's the unobtanium key? Where's the depleted uranium key? Where's the "any" key? How do I check the stolic without exploding? How do I destroy the ATM machine? How do I open the ceiling hatch? How do I stop the Grue King from charging? How do I solve the maze? How do I get the bolt cutters without falling into the hole? How do I defeat the Feminine-Looking Wizzard? How do I get the ladder without getting killed? How do I have sex with the Grue? Which door leads to the final boss? How do I mine for fish? Go north How do I one-hit-kill Morgoth? How do I bring Aeris back to life? How do I use extreme sarcasm to kill the Grues? How do I reach a random text page? Go back