Zork

		Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that the colonel and Rosemary are actually Metal Gear Arsenal's AI, O'Brien was an agent of the Ministry of Love, Seinfeld and his friends are found guilty, Prufrock isn't Prince Hamlet, Janeway defeats the Borg, Fayed detonates a nuke, Brandy Alexander is Shannon's brother, M. Bison was the killer of Chun Li's father, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

InvisiClues	Score: 0, duh	Moves: 0
Welcome to the Zork InvisiClues menu! Since you obviously have both the gaming skills of a limbless rabbit and the self-restraint of a limbless rabbit in heat, we at Unfocom have provided you with a series of ambiguous hints and wildly inaccurate prophecies so that you, too, can produce the Victory screen on your monitor for a few seconds and thus receive full product satisfaction! What is the story/premise/point of Zork? How do I win the game? What is a Grue? How do you stop the Grue from eating you? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? No, seriously, how do I stop the Grue from eating me?! How do I activate God Mode? How do I get ye sword? How do I pronounce xyzzy correctly? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? What do I do with the knife? How do I get the flashlight without the boy killing me? What do I do with the batteries? How do I stop the Grue from eating me? How do I unlock the hermitically sealed door? Where's the gold key? Where's the silver key? Where's the unobtanium key? Where's the depleted uranium key? Where's the "any" key? How do I check the stolic without exploding? How do I destroy the ATM machine? How do I open the ceiling hatch? How do I stop the Grue King from charging? How do I solve the maze? How do I get the bolt cutters without falling into the hole? How do I defeat the Feminine-Looking Wizzard? How do I get the ladder without getting killed? How do I have sex with the Grue? Which door leads to the final boss? How do I mine for fish? Go north How do I one-hit-kill Morgoth? How do I bring Aeris back to life? How do I use extreme sarcasm to kill the Grues? How do I reach a random text page? Go back