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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

An a splosion is the process of an explosion, but in a "ka‑blooey" way that might be described as "ka‑gooey". Most a splosions do not necessarily require explosives or fire. A splosions can be found in places where there is a buildup of a high outward force (such as where there is too much confusion). A splosions are (naturally) rare and beautiful events, much like the event horizon of a black hole, but less boring. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (Pictured)

... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
...that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?

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In the news [edit]

"It's for the children's own good!"

Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions
Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured)
Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"
Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison"
Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie Francis • Alan Bergman • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates

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On this day [edit]

July 30: International Page Blanking Day

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Picture of the day

It is evident that the car has come a long way since its original cardboard chassis design.

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