Hello[edit source]

Have you noticed how much your Talk Page looks like your User Page? Oh....someone has spoilt it now..... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

Bah and humbug, and it was such pretty symmetry ... -- Sannse 23:16, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

Yay! symmetry restored! -- Sannse 08:29, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

No.....your sig is bold on one page and not on the other... -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

OOO...kay.. so the next project is a proper uncyc sig... -- Sannse 15:03, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

Like this one: -- sannse esnnas 19:11, 27 April 2006 (UTC)

testing to see if this message automatically appears on the other side. -- mowgli 09:27, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

yes it does -- sannse (talk) 17:01, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

i noticed. and it does faster than you can get to the other side to check if it does. -- mowgli 22:08, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

That's the wonders of teknowledgey for ya -- sannse (talk) 06:04, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

hey sannse, inspired by your wikipedia user page, i've put up my pic. on my user page . let me know in advance if you decide to pull yours down anytime in future - i'll pull down mine too. :) -- mowgli 09:42, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

i'm wondering if i should put your "user page" in my watchlist or your "discussion" page, or both. -- mowgli 17:35, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

on the pic: ever heard of smiling man? on the watching: depends whether you want to watch my user page or my discussion page, or both -- sannse (talk) 19:37, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

re: the former - so many she-friends have said aigzactly the same thing that it almost freaks me out. ok i'm not smiling in the pic. but look how benign, radiant & munificent my face looks? no? well, look again!! re: watching - how do i watch your user page, discussion page & you at the same time? is there a hidden algorithm for that somewhere? for now i'm content watching just this page.-- mowgli 21:07, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

(matter a.) Oh, I see the beradificence of course, it's not quite drowned out by the complete lack of facial expression. (matter b.) Watching just this page is probably wise. Sort of sidesteps all the issues of prosecution for illegal bugging and stalking -- sannse (talk) 05:46, 22 August 2006 (UTC)

he he he. i took no time ~~stalking~~ talking back this time. i need a

"s-talker+theys-is-dangerous" template now. -- mowgli 06:59, 22 August 2006 (UTC) ok

Yuri von Juan is pleased with you.[edit source]

As such, accept a template that says so.

This template has been placed here because Yuri von Juan is pleased with you. Well done. Soon to be coming your way is a lemon and a pie because Yuri von Juan thinks you're special.

...He's the only one that does.

The Freed Mind Sutoth the Black Mage [FACEHOLE HERE] [MUN] [YvJP]I am not a oil spill.

Wankers Sensation[edit source]

Here is a good page for that picture: Commercial Break. I would add it myself, but there might be some overly Britich pun about chickens and anals that I am missing.-- Swami A. Suresh 08:44, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

A very very very late reply... yeah, that's a good one -- sannse (talk) 20:33, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Super Chron-Chron[edit source]

Geez, this is the second image compliment I'm passing out today (what's wrong with me?)... Your ChronChron image is really great stuff -- lots of attention to detail and expertly crafted. I'm sure there must be too much going on in it to be featured, but I love it just the same. That needs to be displayed somewhere prominent, like a museum or Parliament. It definitely rewards repeated viewings; I'll go back and look at it again right... now. --Immy I will never wash my talk page again 22:48, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

A very very late reply... Thanks! I really appreciate the compliment :) -- sannse (talk) 20:33, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Since you asked[edit source]

Welcome![edit source]

Hello, Sannse/Archive, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 15:16, 3 July 2006 (UTC) & Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

....awww... bless <3 -- sannse (talk) 15:17, 3 July 2006 (UTC)

VFP[edit source]

Thanks for the vote. You just helped fulfill one of the more obscure prophecies in the Book o' Revelations.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:52, 20 August 2006 (UTC)

Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?
When death stalks the night, remember, it's all your fault

LOL[edit source]

lol. lol. lol. lol -- mowgli 09:27, 27 August 2006 (UTC)

Well, somone took all that trouble to make it... I might as well use it <3 -- sannse (talk) 09:30, 27 August 2006 (UTC)

aww! well, there will be yet another fan with a more creative img. maybe yours truly. -- mowgli 19:17, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

a different subject[edit source]

Should I take precaution? -- Swami A. Suresh 22:59, 30 August 2006 (UTC)

Nah, just stalk him back -- sannse (talk) 06:29, 31 August 2006 (UTC) (guessing the subject...)

incidentally[edit source]

'cos you're active in wikipedia and 'cos wikipedia overwhelms me and 'cos their pump is apathetic and 'cos Nv8200p looks fearsome, i was wondering if you could tell me:

if this image in this site is actually under copyright? the fine print in the site says, "Copyright © 1996-2003" - isn't that "past" plus would that automatically include imgs if the site is still under copyright?

i've tried enquiring about its status from the site owners by email but all my mails have gone unanswered for frankly they couldn't care less.

Nv8200p has deleted my uploading twice and he's pissed off - i can sense it.

if i digitally alter it (say make it say "charcoal" in photoshop), will he still delete it?

i want to (desperately) add the image to this page.

feel free to redirect me to someplace else if you don't have answers (except ask me to leave nv8200p a msg). tia. -- mowgli 15:17, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Obviously, I am not a lawyer an all that, so this is just my understanding:

Copyright does not depend on a copyright notice. So an image is copyright on the photographer (not the owner) or his employer (in some circumstances) whether or not it is marked as copyright. The exceptions are images that have been specifically released from copyright, or very old images that are no longer regarded as copyright. There's no reason to think that this one is either.

"Fair use" may apply, but in this case I doubt it. The reason we can get away with that on Uncyclopedia (probably/maybe/we'll find out in court) is that the work is done for reasons of parody - something specifically protected in the fair use conditions.

Changing the work does not change the copyright status. The images becomes a "derivative work" and is copyright of the original photographer and the new artist. However, unless the new artist has permission for the new work, it is a violation of the copyrights of the original photographer. So the fact that he holds, in part, copyright to the derivative actually means nothing - it's still illegal.

So, the short answer is, it's a violation of copyright, and of Wikipedia's rules. Sorry! -- sannse (talk) 15:37, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

thought so. i thought digitally altering might circumvent the legal issue, oh well. i suppose i'll have to do with just providing a link. thanks. -- mowgli 16:00, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

so like you can merrily reproduce text (long passages - the crux of the book minus the chaff), with impunity, as long as you cite your source but you can't reproduce b&w photos today? everything regresses to a digital signature in today's age - then why this bias? reprints and imitations are made and distributed freely in the print world. obviously something jars when it's taken to mean for all media. i think "images" are caught in the in-between of this fight between print and other medias. i suppose one would have expected the leniency extended in times bygone to reproductions of portions of text and duplication of images for illustration -- provided the source was duly acknowledged, to have persisted in the laws of today? it's actually a subject for philosophers of law and we will have to wait for their verdict (the corporate-nation-states would love to sponsor the deliberations of these jobless philosophers, of course). just rambling (i do that often). -- mowgli 17:28, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Text is subject to the same restrictions. You can paraphrase, and possibly quote a small section as "fair use", but a large reproduction is a copyright violation, as is a slightly altered derivative. Of course, what is a derivative and what isn't is a matter for the courts... it's a complex area with a lot of variation. You can't copyright facts, but you can copyright the format those facts are in. Fiction has it's own set of variations, and parody comes into it again. It's more of a subject than I care to go into... so I'm just say ALBATROSS! and leave it at that --- sannse (talk) 20:09, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

Congratulations on achieving adminhood, for better or worse... heh heh Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:15, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

bah! we ~~peeps~~ plebs are honoured your highness has graciously ~~consented~~ condescended to accepting adminship here. while we'd love to welcome you aboard with flowers and brickbats like your beloved fan, glib Splannse, we hope you will forgive us artless ~~souls~~ soles-of-your-used-shoes for being being unable to gush likewise in the present instance. -- mowgli 15:58, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

<insert hurt puppy-dog expression here> -- sannse (talk) 16:31, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

"You rock!"
...and are NOT a smeg head

Thanks for supporting me as an admin. I hope I can live up to the huge expectorations of Uncyclopedia and UnNews. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:27, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

And the same to you Zim! -- sannse (talk) 04:16, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

PLS[edit source]

Hi Sannse, thank you for the PLS gifts you sent. I read up on Sir Cliff Richard today & realized it's gotta be tough to miss someone who's had such a long career, but I did. Anyway I don't think nice things get acknowledged enough. So thanks!--Shandon 00:01, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

\o/ glad they got to you safely! -- sannse (talk) 20:04, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

Wikia[edit source]

Thanks for welcoming me at Wikia. And thanks for warning me 'bout my sig and Angela userbox. I'm pretty defiant and get carried away with my templates. -- 16:33, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

np, thanks for fixing them :) -- sannse (talk) 07:03, 10 September 2006 (UTC)

NHS[edit source]

Thanks, I'd completely forgotten about that. *ahem*. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 07:54, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

The Tsar[edit source]

Sadly my PSD was too tubby to send via email, even zipped. You're the expert in these matters, so if you can think of something hexelente... or you can plod on without it, of course. 00:13, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

Ah, no matter, thanks anyway. Perhaps you could just tell me the source for the hat and then send me just leyla's head? The other changes I think I can duplicate now I have your image for guidance. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 11:07, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

Ah, hello, sorry I forgot I posted here. I'll see what I can do, because I'm sure it would fly through VFP. You definitely don't have a mail account that would take a 10 MB file? While I'm here, is there a way of splitting text into two parallel columns, instead of it running right down the page for miles? Cheers

23:17, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

you could try either sannse@tiscali.co.uk or sannse@gmail.com - I think the gmail will work

best way to get columns is with a table I would say, I can't think of any easier way - but that doesn't format the text into equal lenghts, I don't know of a way to do that. Sorry -- sannse (talk)

Thanks, Sannse. Sorry to hear the lithium isn't working its smooth charms this week. And you should have gone with your gut and given me the crackling power of the op - trolly came back out from under his bridge! 20:32, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Damn, you are right, I should have. Curse those depression induced doubts and worries. Sorry 'bout that -- sannse (talk) 09:08, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

That's all right. If you, uh *cough* want to op me anyway, just in case, I'm sure I'll hold up under the strain. Or the starin. Whichever.

18:15, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

is starin better than lithium? what's the generic name? -- mowgli 19:13, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Maybe he means sarin, which is way better than lithium, but sadly not available on the NHS -- sannse (talk) 06:29, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

No, I just spelled strain wrong. Shouldn't have corrected it. I may have been a bit pissed.

13:21, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Patience[edit source]

Hello oh great and wise admin. why did you huff my pretty page patience? it was being reviewed! Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/patience could you re-instate it maybe? Thanks. --no, yuo chat 18:07, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Because I didn't have any of course... restored. New messages on talk pages go on the bottom by the way. -- sannse (talk) 18:15, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Many thanks. --no, yuo

chat 18:19, 9 October 2006 (UTC)

Especial CSSs[edit source]

Could you help me, please? How do I apply an especial CSS for some pages such as Emopedia? Tnx. - Template:Usuário:Usien/ass 18:49, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

I've already soved it... Thanks anyway... - Template:Usuário:Usien/ass 13:42, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Thank You ^_^[edit source]

THANK YOU

Thank you for supporting my image on the VFP
In Soviet Russia, Image supports YOU!!''
You Are A True Comrade
~Premier Tom Mayfair

This user raises their own chickenbox.

The userbox can be editted to your choice if you decide to us it. Again, Thank You ^_^ 00:00, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Why?[edit source]

I was looking at the user rights log, and although it is none of my business, why did you take sysop and staff right away from those users that you did? Again, I am sorry if I am butting in where I am not wanted, but I just want to learn more about the system. --Goshzilla 15:10, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

The staff was an addition now a removal, it had been missed when KJ joined Wikia. Most of the others were by community request because they had been inactive for a very long time (see some forum thread or other). The last two were removing joke admin-ings, one by me, and one by one of the bureaucrats - just and end-of-joke action. Hope that helps. -- sannse (talk) 16:15, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

My Welcome Template[edit source]

I Was Just Thinking Of You

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
I need it now, You know what to do.
~Premier Tom Mayfair

I'm deeply sorry for burning your eyes with my welcome template. Please forgive me. 22:21, 24 November 2006 (UTC)

Awwww... that is so sweet!. I would respond apropriately, but, ummm... I have this pain in my jaw, and ... well... I'm absolutely terrified of your wife... almost a phobia... and... and... time is a problem... so much to do... just don't think I can fit this in... so to speak... and... ummm... oh yes!... I'm gay. -- sannse (talk) 10:20, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

We'll get through this... one day... ★cries softly★.

20:25, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

Argh! Help![edit source]

Hi sannse, irc disconnected me and gives me an error message when I try to reconnect. Do you know if it's a temporary problem or some other issue? Thanks--Shandon 06:47, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

wait, wait it's an irc-wide web-connection ban, I see it...I hate it when tech fails me. Sorry to bug you--Shandon 06:58, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Hope you get back on soon :( -- sannse (talk) 11:25, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Vote![edit source]

Seeing as you've been kept busy trying to push back the recent tidal wave of gratuitous nudity, I thought you might want to say it with a vote as well. Time's running out for this month. :) ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 21:27, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

nah, not my style. He knows what I think about them, that's enough for me -- sannse (talk) 09:11, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

AI LUV U[edit source]

I LOVE YOU SANNSE!!! --ANID N MENO S C WICZ 13:55, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Not quite sure what brought that on, but, umm, thanks... -- sannse (talk) 16:30, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Fell off the wagon again I see... ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:38, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

When I fall off the wagon, it will be in a whole nother direction... -- sannse (talk) 16:46, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Interwiki to why:[edit source]

Any chance you can remove (or move) from the interwiki map Why:, user:braydie wants to use it for something similiar to HowTo:. cheers. --The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 17:27, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

see what I am saying to you now ;) -- sannse (talk) 18:20, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Kudos[edit source]

Hey, I just had popped in and saw your comment on some page or other, and just wanted to say that your signature is EXCELLENT! 66.231.130.203 00:10, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Awww... thanks sweetness! -- sannse (talk) 16:38, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

American bukkake.jpg[edit source]

In response to a comment made here.

I'm afraid it is not my work. It was produced and posted on a forum, and so I assumed that one could use it without fear of penalty. I saw that it is a bit too large for a standard wiki picture, but it's awfully funny. If you'd like, though, I could try to track down the topic and post in which it was featured.--Tentacles 01:03, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Ah, no matter. If it's not original it can't be featured. A good addition to the article though, thanks -- sannse (talk) 16:38, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

The no more thsn 2 account thing[edit source]

My mom wants to join and my brother has and we all use th same computer can you make it so that the special page that shows that you cannot make more than 2 acounts go away? Djf2014 01:46, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

No, I can't do that, but you can ask someone else to make an account for her. They can give her the password and then she can change it to a private one in her preferences. Once the account is made, you <ahem> she should have no problems -- sannse (talk) 16:38, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Resignation[edit source]

Hi. As you've requested, I'm leaving this to confirm that I am "tlyons" on IRC, and I am requesting to have my sysop flag removed immediately.

Thanks, goodbye, and be well.

~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 17:37, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Todd -- sannse (talk) 17:40, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Sadness... -- sannse (talk) 17:40, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Signed[edit source]

All right, I'm very tired right now, so let's make this quick. Permission to change names from Hinoa4 to Hinoa, signed by —Hinoa KUN (talk) 10:03, 10 December 2006 (UTC) (Hinoa4) and Hinoa 10:04, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, sorry to be picky. All done. -- sannse (talk) 20:30, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Changing usernames[edit source]

I was intrigued by Hinoa's username change. Would it be at all possible for me to have mine changed to one which is less...numerical, and what are the consequences? For example, could I keep my contribution list? -- Mitch 13:30, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Yes, your contributions would be retained. All old sigs would still point to the old account though, although that would be caught with a redirect. But I don't want to over-use this, it's confusing to people looking for contributors, it's not good in terms of the attribution required by the license, and it's heavy on the servers (there are other down-sides, but I wasn't concentrating when the MediaWiki developers were complaining about it this morning). I'll change names if someone really feels they made a mistake, but it's strictly one change per customer, and only if you feel it's really needed -- sannse (talk) 16:31, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Can you change User:Codeine to User:MrWang. Thanks. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

I would second the assertion that this change is really needed. ^_^ --The Bard of Uncyclopedia

16:56, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Done -- sannse (talk) 16:56, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I'll just leave mine the way it is. Thanks for the information. -- Mitch

17:00, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmas[edit source]

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways.
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

21:59, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Such a sweet card! What could I do by make one with my own fair hands, especially for you -- sannse (talk) 19:04, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

And happy new year. ~Sir Rangeley GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 19:53, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Rangeley! And to you :) -- sannse (talk) 09:09, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd

Actually, I'm not a drinker. It's bad for my depression. Maybe we could do cider or egg nog instead? --Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:44, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit source]

Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Codespammer alert! I mean, erm, Merry Commercial Conformity Period from everyone at the Hindley procrastination club. Peace and love. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 15:35, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Birthday, ~~Jesus~~ Santa!
This holiday season, whether you're Protestant, Jewish, Catholic,
Muslim, Buddhist, Shintoist, agnostic, or atheist, DiZ wishes you a
Merry Christmas, so suck it up and drink your eggnog. And don't forget,
Santa's got snipers everywhere, and they're always loaded.
So be good, or else.

Have a jolly Christmas, Hannukah, Tri-Quarterly Lunar Festival, whatever it is you celebrate, from Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:43, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Codeine proffers you a Humbug
as he cares not for your Judeo-Christian festivals of Pagan origin
(but wishes you a very merry time of it anyway)

Yay seasonal template spam! Happy Christmas, sweetie. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 21:45, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Holidays* from the Holiday Turtle!
May all of your Holiday wishes come true!
(*Designated holidays may include, but are not limited to:
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, and the Winter Solstice)

Well this is just getting ridiculous, cards everywhere. t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:17, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:27, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Braydie was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

You have a very big collection of cards :D --—Braydie 15:02, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

\o/ thanks all, beauoootiful cards -- sannse (talk) 12:31, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

It's a bit late, but I hope you don't mind. -- Mitch 13:36, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Late is 30 Dec, so this isn't. Ta! -- sannse (talk) 20:02, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

TheUltimateHistorian[edit source]

...came on to IRC about his ban. Looks like the image was relevant to Mongolian culture, though he has said sorry, and promises to be careful from now on. The rest of his edits seem legit.... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

yeah, just like lemonparty is relevant to gay culture, and tubgirl to Japanese culture... no problem on the unblock though, hopefully he'll be a bit more careful with his uploads now. -- sannse (talk) 09:09, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Can't comment on the image, as I didn't see it, only its name. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

True, true -- sannse (talk) 09:17, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Shock Image?[edit source]

This isn't a shock image, it actually happens on our farms...

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Johannesburg

Search Google Images for "Farm Murders" and you'll see.... – Preceding unsigned comment added by Dghough91 (talk • contribs)

Sure, not denying it happens, shock images are almost always real... that's part of the shock value. But the point is that Uncyclopedia is not the place for such images. Or are you saying that an image of a guy with his head half blown off is funny? If so, Encyclopedia Dramatica is thataway. -- sannse (talk) 09:09, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

From me[edit source]

Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! •

• I

my cat! 11:18, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Tooltroll! -- sannse (talk) 20:02, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit source]

Santa Claus has given you some Socks for Christmas.
As you can see, these socks are white and red, and they are modelled by Mrs. Claus.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:52, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Yay!!!! Pressies!!! I promise not to open it early again -- sannse (talk) 20:02, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Evening falls, the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room

Cold-hearted Orb that rules the night
removes the colours from our sight
Red is grey, and yellow white
yet we decide which is right
and which is an illusion

Night time to some,
a brief interlude.
To others,
the fear of solitude

Brave Helios
Wake up your steeds
and bring the warmth our country-side needs.

-- di Mario 22:24, 23 December 2006 (UTC) (with some help from the Moody Blues)

Goodness gracious silly me! I forgot the choccies! Here they are.... <imagine the damnedest box of choccies you ever received /> -- di Mario 22:28, 23 December 2006 (UTC) (Sorry, I'm just not good at templates and images and stuff. The thought comes straight from my heart though).

That's so beautiful, thank you di Mario... and choccies too, what more could be asked for :) -- sannse (talk) 22:33, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Mince Pies[edit source]

sannse|awayish prefers mince pies

Braydie has awarded you some mince pies!
For preferring mince pies.

--—Braydie 15:04, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Yay! thanks Braydie

Hehe, that's no problem.. Pretty slow day today really. --—Braydie 09:05, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

NRV --Rgsupergrover 02:28, 26 December 2006 (UTC)[edit source]

Hey sannse, my page on howto: get on T.V was still under construction. I apologise for not leaving any sign that it was, however I just learned how to, could you please remove it? thanks --Rgsupergrover 02:28, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Sure, I've changed the NRV for a work in progress notice. By the way, it's usual to put new messages at the bottom of talk pages around here -- sannse (talk) 11:38, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Vandal![edit source]

There's a bad man doing bad things, a dickhead, if you will. I tried connecting through the web IRC thingy, but it won't let me post. I saw you post just before it crashed, so I hope you're around.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:17, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

He's been on Ban Patrol for a couple of hours...luckily he seems to have given up for the night. His vandal edits have been RV'd (mostly be people quicker than I).--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:28, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Disregard. Mhaille got him.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 10:42, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

And got him good! -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

My Image[edit source]

If you had just read the caption the person who took it released it to the public. So it is acceptable. Quadzilla99 16:00, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

"release[d] to the public" and "released into the public domain" are not the same thing. He selected "all rights reserved", that's the legal bit. If you are going to use such images, then fine... just label them correctly -- sannse (talk) 16:21, 7 January 2007 (UTC)

Courtney Love?[edit source]

Might I ask what was wrong with my revision of the Courtney Love page. I admit I did leave one broken link, however the other material was in my subjective opinion humorous. I did not stray away from the general theme of the page and deleted nothing the previous author wrote. Is there a particular reason you saw fit to revert my edits to that of the previous author? --Pixie 16:16, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

Because in my opinion it was unfunny vitriol, which didn't improve the article in any way. The offensive choice of file name for the image only reinforced my opinion of the edit. Sorry. -- sannse (talk) 18:22, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

Tom Mayfairs son[edit source]

There's a bunch of photos depicting children. babies, with no permission on the uncyclopedia. So I didn't ask permission for using tom mayfairs comunist son pic on the communism article. HAHA. -- Emperor Walt e r Humala God save him!(God exists?) | wanna Talk? 01:35, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

The difference is that this child is specifically identified, and that his parent is a fellow contributor that you could easily have contacted as a courtesy. I've deleted the image -- sannse (talk) 10:52, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Ok, no problem. haha -- Emperor Walt e r Humala

God save him!(God exists?)

| wanna Talk? 15:30, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Account[edit source]

Hinoa reffered me to u, i was asking how i can delete my accuont, cuz i made 2 of the same one by accident, and now i cant log in and i cant make a new account, and i want a valid account. so ya if u could help me that would be great.

We don't delete accounts. But you should be able to make another account by now... the prevention is timed. If not, ask an admin to make one for you and give you the password. Then you can change the password and it will be all yours. If there is some reason that won't work, I can rename one of your accounts... but I don't think that's needed here -- sannse (talk) 12:40, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

[thx] i got an account now.

me

Printing[edit source]

Just wondering if you could possibly fix the printable version feature so it actaully does something, á la WP. --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 09:31, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

It's not really needed, the page is automatically put into printable format when you print (on the default skin anyway). You can see that with print preview. But that said, it should either be removed or work the same way Wikipedia's does to give you a preview. I'll put that on the bug list.

Cyberbullying[edit source]

*Crosses fingers* I hope I'm typing in the right place to talk to you. Anyway you categorized one (actually my only) contribution as cyberbullying, when it was in fact not. It's the Velociraptor article, I'm sure you remember it. Anyway it had to do with the Ancestory of Velociraptors.

Basically my friend and I just joke around and I call him a Velociraptor, and we were like "OH! we should make an Uncyclopedia article and it can be about the Ancestry of Velociraptors!!" and he liked the idea especially so we perused with it, again, it's not cyberbullying. In fact I'm going through the extra effort to get a video for you to view for further proof, it'll be him saying he allows the article/contribution to be online, and that it in fact is not cyberbullying. Since you may remember the photo of him on the article, which he gets a kick out of, you'll be able to confirm it's the same person. Please contact me as soon as possible regarding this matter. Thanks!

--Derekg1023

I'm afraid that if it's not cyberbullying (which I accept) then it's vanity. Why would I, or any other reader of this article, find it funny that you call your friend a valociraptor? I don't know him, I don't know you, so this means nothing to me. To be an uncyclopedia article it should be funny to everyone (or to a good number of people at least). It's the same with photos. I'm constantly taking personal photos out of articles, because them being there is funny to a handful of friends, not to the general Uncyclopedia reader. But if you want to put this in your user space, that's fine. I can help with that if you can't work out how. Thanks for coming here to talk about this though, that's always helpful -- sannse (talk) 12:40, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your responce! The thing is I still think it's funny, and a student body of over 2250+ students think its funny, which I would say is a good number of people, esspecially for just one article, and one photo. Perhaps you could reconsider? Of course I shall respect your word as an Administrator, but I still believe that it should be allowed. Also, if you'd like I do have the video proving it is not cyberbullying if you would like to see it. Thank you very much for your time Sannse, you were far more nice about this than I expected, I was expecting a repermand for questioning your authority and everything! Thanks so much!

--Derekg1023 20:21, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

I won't copy to your talk page this time, hopefully you've found the watch settings now. 2250 is a small number, relatively speaking, and it will be even smaller when you consider that most will not visit Uncyclopedia (and I have to doubt that the whole of your college find a personal joke between you and your friend funny). The vast majority of those visiting Uncyclopedia will have no idea who your friend is, or why reference to him is funny - and it's that vast majority that's important here, not you and your mates. I'm happy that this is an in-joke, and not cyberbullying - no proof required. But this sort of private joke is not suitable for a project aimed at everyone you don't know. Sorry, but that's the way it is. -- sannse (talk) 22:21, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for your time Sannse, sorry for any time I have wasted of yours in editing and chainging things I may have messed up with. Thanks again!

--Derekg1023 23:47, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

Hugs[edit source]

flyingfeline has awarded you a hug and a biscuit.
She would also like to scream hysterically in your ear,
but is afraid it would get her desysopped.

Aww, thanks FF, and congratulations :) -- sannse (talk) 12:40, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

iPhone goatse[edit source]

Hey, why you deleted my iGoatse picture? It was so - hahaha -so - haha -so funny! --Darth Vader 15:12, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes, it killed me. Literally. And thats murder. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

Yep, read the image policy, it specifically says that images that kill Mhaille are forbidden. End of. -- sannse (talk) 17:45, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Username change[edit source]

Hi, Sannse. I asked Sikkon about username changes for I want to ungoofy my own name - you know, it was a great name for a Soulseek user, but here it's a little too much silly, now I'm realizing. He told me to talk to you. How do we do that? -- herr doktor needsAsample [scream!] 20:59, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

I would actually suggest that you just make a new account, and redirect your old pages to the new one. Simpler, easier, and better for the servers. But I will change the name if you really feel you need to. This will be a one off, you will not be able to change it again. Generally, I don't want to over-use this: it's confusing to people looking for contributors, it's not good in terms of the attribution required by the license, and it's heavy on the servers. So please think about it, and let me know if you have decided to go ahead. -- sannse (talk) 21:35, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Well, in this case, I'll think twice. Despite having my userpage just to explain the joke, I can't bear still hearing "you need a brain, fella" (he he he). -- herr doktor needsAsample [scream!] 15:37, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Does that mean you thought and decided to go ahead? Because if so, I sorta need to know what name you want it changed to? Or shall I just go ahead and change it to Maurice? -- sannse (talk) 17:06, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Nevermind. Think I will keep in need of some gray matter at least by now. :) -- herr doktor needsAsample [scream!] 17:12, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Congratulations[edit source]

Congratulations on placing third on Sliferjam's Annual Contest's for the First Task.

3.Sannse Total: 22

Sliferjam ~ This is my new signature. Cool huh? 18:57, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

Woohoo! -- sannse (talk) 17:06, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Award for you[edit source]

I have noticed on the recent changes that you are working hard at deleting a massive amount of duplicate images. For that, you deserve and award:

Insineratehymn has awarded you a pentagram! ...for your hard work at deleting duplicate images.
Don't worry, I'm not evil, I just do this as a publicity stunt.

--General Insineratehymn 18:36, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Aww... thanks! -- sannse (talk) 19:50, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Welcome[edit source]

Guido Protection Fund Member
This user's membership in the Guido Protection Fund is
Paid In Full
They are not to be fucked with under penalty of broken kneecaps.

--LordKaT

I guess that's good? Ummm... thanks? -- sannse (talk) 18:25, 22 January 2007 (UTC)

You won a LAFTA![edit source]

You have been recognised by the LAFTA awards committee for your services to Uncyclopedia. Here is your trophy:

LAFTA
This Lifetime Achievement For Total Awesomeness award goes to Sannse for being both a dedicated Uncyclopedian and Wikia staff member. Excellent Work!

Congratulations! --The Rt. Hon. BarryC MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 00:31, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

Aww.. thanks... I shall kep it on my mantlepiece and keep it shiny. Except I don't have a mantlepiece, but it's the thought that counts.

Sorry...[edit source]

Can you please unban me from IRC? I am sorry for my disruptive behaviour, and pledge not to do anything like it again. Here's a flower.

Look familiar?

Aww... thanks. You are unbanned (not for the flower, I must admit, just because I forgot to remove the ban before) -- sannse (talk) 16:37, 28 January 2007 (UTC)

Username[edit source]

Please change my username from DaBlade to Dark_Apostrophe. -- DaBlade (Click here to bitch. :)) 19:24, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Done, after the usual lecture of course -- sannse (talk) 21:25, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Serious question? Inconceivable![edit source]

Hi Sannse, could you tell me if it's possible to purchase the Wiki platform by a corporation for internal use (i.e. - company's intranet)? If so, who should I contact? Someone at Wikia? Thanks! ~ 12:00, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Hi Mordillo. We use MediaWiki, which is totally free and available for anyone to use. You can get more information from mediawiki.org. You will also need PHP 5.1 or later, and MySQL 4.0 or later. See php.net and mysql.com. Hope that helps, and good luck :) -- sannse (talk) 12:33, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Many many thanks! ~ 14:21, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Request for Checkuser[edit source]

Hi. Could you please run a checkuser on SlyFox? Someone claims he is a sockpuppet of Azazer, and we want evidence. --AAA! (AAAA) 08:28, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

I second this request. However, it appears that Sannse is away for the week, so we need to ask another admin to perform a checkuser. --General Insineratehymn 08:33, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

She'll be back tomorrow. --AAA! (AAAA) 04:46, 11 February 2007 (UTC)

Sorry, nothing comes up on Checkuser. Azazer's activity was to long ago for me to get any results. So it's totally inconclusive on this one -- sannse (talk) 12:41, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

What about any of his sockpuppets (maybe his latest), or any of the IP adresses he used were open backslash proxies? That could work... --AAA! (AAAA) 05:34, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

If they were proxies, that tells us nothing (unless the edits were pretty much at the same time). If you can tell me the names of any socks, or the IPs in question I can look... but as I don't have an IP for Azazer, there isn't anything for me to compare it to. -- sannse (talk) 09:47, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

Try User:King and User:BlackMachine. They were banned on 15th and 17th of January 2007. As for IPs, try 64.62.191.236. He is the most recent backslash proxy used for Powershot's deeds. Also, can you give me a screenshot of the checkuser screen? --AAA! (AAAA) 11:19, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

There are no results for User:King. User:BlackMachine appears to be the same person as User:Slyfox, although I can't say that with total certainty, as it's a general looking ISP... However, there are no other users on that IP and no other IP shows for those users. There are no logged in edits from 64.62.191.236. And for the screenshot: no. I'm afraid you will have to take my word for this. -- sannse (talk) 12:10, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

That's good enough. BlackMachine was a confirmed sock of Azazer, and it says SlyFox is a sock of BlackMachine (I think).

AAA! has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

--AAA! (AAAA) 02:53, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ[edit source]

Let's be honest... My name doesn't have too many fans. I've used Squiggle as my shortened name for a while now (User:Squiggle is even a redirect to my page) and I think that it's the time for an official change. Since you're away, I don't expect a quick response, but if you can please get back to me as soon as you can. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 22:45, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Also, can you change Braydie's name to User:MisterWibblyWoo. Thanks. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

I vote that you don't change Squggle's name, and instead change Rcmurphys name to User:Zombiebaron, and Zombiebaron's name to User:Mhaille, and Mhaille's name to User:Bradaphraser, and Bradaphraser's name to Famine, and Famine's name to User:Tompkins, and Tompkins's name to User:Rcmurphy, because that's the way I always imagined things. --The Zombiebaron 03:04, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

I would also like my username changed, to §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 03:05, 13 Feb 2007

But that means that Squiggle would have to become User:Sannse, and Sannse would have to become User:RadicalX, and RadicalX would have to become User:Zim_ulator, and Zim_ulator would have to become User:Hinoa4, and Hinoa4 would have to beceome User:Hinoa, and Hinoa would have to become User:Isra1337, and Isra1337 would have to become Spang, just to even things out. --The Zombiebaron 03:14, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

OK, so let me check I've got this right: I'm changing Bradaphraser to Mhaille, Mhaille to Zim_ulator, Zim_ulator to Zombiebaron, Zombiebaron to RadicalX, RadicalX to Squiggle, Squiggle to Famine, and Famine to MisterWibblyWoo? But what about Codeine? Was he to Rcmurphy or Aspirin? sannse (talk) 17:11, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

I thought I was MisterWibblyWoo? —Braydie 17:16, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Awww... but it suits Famine so much better! -- sannse (talk) 17:27, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Well, that's true. I guess I'll have to think of a better name to change to. —Braydie 17:29, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Yes, I super-for-sure-never-change-my-mind want to go through with my ~~breast enhancement surgery~~ name changey thing. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 00:13, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Happy Valentine's Day[edit source]

As a token of my purely Platonic love for you on this most lovely of days, DiZ would like to present you with a purely Platonic heart-shaped box of chocolate, some half-withered roses, and an assortment of those chalky candies with the words written on them.

Happy Valentine's Day,
and I hope you get some this year.

--Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:19, 14 February 2007 (UTC)

Awww.. a disgusting bloody heart on my talk page. That's so sweet. Remind me to paste your page with diseased livers next year <3 -- sannse (talk) 09:45, 15 February 2007 (UTC) (p.s. I don't think I want any thanks ;)

PLS[edit source]

What do you need to send me fantastic prizes? Email address or physical mailing address? Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 02/16 23:37

Your physical address would be best, but if that is a major problem then perhaps we can use PayPal. I guanentee that there will be no explosive substances in the standard Wikia brown envelope (and it does with out saying that your address would remain private. Although I said it.) -- sannse (talk) 10:21, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

All I will say is that since I gave Sannse my address for the August PLS, I've gotten a suspicious number of physical enhancement pill adverts and several offers for courses in woodworking. Maybe there's no correlation. —rc (t) 18:21, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

*whistles*

t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 19:06, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

A belated thanks for the most kickass prize package I have ever received. It had me laughing for the better part of two days. And a big "how did you know"? Because when I got here, I was down to the lime in my G&T, although I had gone with a nice cut of salmon instead of a burger. The gin does make me live happily ever after tho. Nice choice! Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 03/15 22:07

Woohoo! glad it got to you OK. And of course it's gin, I have the greatest respect for anyone who can drink that crap... -- sannse (talk) 13:27, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

Sig Pic[edit source]

Actually, I could use a little help if you don't mind. I've tried shrinking the pic in my photoshop, but apparently, my photoshop sucks. I can't get the image to look right as opposed to the current version. And I don't understand the thumbnail thing. Doesn't that put the little thumb box in my signature then? Sorry, about this, I didn't even think about it. I'm really not too knowledgeable when it comes to wiki formatting. User:Mrthejazz/sig 23:07, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

I've uploaded a small version and added it to your sig. I hope it looks OK to you. The thumb trick means you link to the small version on the server, so you don't see the thumb box - but no matter, this way works too. Let me know if you want any changes, I adjusted the contrast a little, but maybe you don't think that's an improvement -- sannse (talk) 08:35, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

It looks great. Thank-you! You're the best! User:Mrthejazz/sig 19:04, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

Speaking out at an average volume at Sansse[edit source]

The maths on the Special:Editcount are virtually Uncyclopedic in their unaccuracy; it forgets to carry a pi, or something. For instance, mine shows 3,420 out of 10,405 as 0.03%, which is obviously the fault of a decimal point who thinks he runs the place. No biggie; I just like give people problems to solve. It's a small but integral part of my plan to take over the world. (And yes, there's something deeply wrong with 10,405 total edits. But that one's not Uncyc's fault. It's merely the enabler of this comedic relationship) --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:38, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Yes, we saw that one... it's something about it reading , and . as the same thing. It's on the bug list, and I should think it would be fixed very soon. Sorry for this! -- sannse (talk) 19:30, 25 February 2007 (UTC)

Message[edit source]

My email settin's were bad. use tommayfair1227@yahoo.com to reply. Sorry. 18:39, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Oops, should have seen that. Resent (my email is slow today, connection problems, but it is getting through) -- sannse (talk) 18:46, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Replied.

19:16, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Ban[edit source]

Hi Sannse, OK, I was just joking around with Tom & didn't know the link was *that* bad. I thought it was just a silly thing *until after Zombiebaron clicked on it*. Talk to you in a couple of days.--Shandon 19:56, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

WikiHelp[edit source]

I believe that Users 128.252.92.236 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser), 128.252.48.170 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser), And 128.252.188.181 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser) Are all the same person (Posibly 128.252.92.26 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)) bent on tormenting me and Vandalizing my user page. Mr. ZombiBaron Told me that you could help me prove there sockpuppetry. Thank you. --AyumiKitada 03:44, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

I see they are all from St. Louis. Is that enough evidence to ban them?

Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 03:51, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

no -- sannse (talk) 11:18, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

AyumiKitada, you don't need a checkuser for a list of IPs. All checkuser does is show the IPs of people who have chosen to register (and what other users are on the same IPs). Anons show their IP addresses openly. Yes, it's likely that they are all the same person, but that does not mean they are sockpuppets. Most IP addresses change naturally, that's part of the technology not an attempt to deceive (you and I edit from more than one IP address too by the way).

Three edits to your user page are not a reason to panic. Just revert and ignore. And as you insulted him first ("Fuck Off You Nameless IP Ass hat Jerk"), you aren't exactly on the moral high ground here. -- sannse (talk) 11:18, 2 March 2007 (UTC)

Blast from the past[edit source]

Hey Sannse! Hows it going!?!?!? ShabiDOO 19:32, 2 December 2019 (UTC)

Welcome back love. ~ Kakun · talk 01:38, 3 December 2019 (UTC)

Hey! Good to see you both (even you, Kakun). I'm working on my first article to make my return official :P -- Sannse (talk) 23:07, 7 December 2019 (UTC)

Hi Sannse! Good to hear from you! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 15:40, 8 December 2019 (UTC)

You too :) -- Sannse (talk) 17:17, 8 December 2019 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit source]

Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:55, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]

See you next year! The first annual has officially ended for 2021

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned <spantitle="Holiday Victor" style="color: tomato;">Holiday Victor?

Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny— Sign Up Today! (pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 15:06, 13 December 2021

Merry Christmas and all that jazz[edit source]

Santa Baby…

Wishing you & yours a Happy Holidays & a Zana Christmas.

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes.
Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram.
Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue.
Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there?
Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night.
I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton.
Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:43, 24 December 2021

Thanks.[edit source]

Thanks for helping me with that construction template. Didn't know as I'm not a regular. Josh215 23:32, 12 March 2007 (UTC)

Umm, you're welcome, although I have no idea what you are talking about... -- sannse (talk) 07:54, 13 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote![edit source]

For voting for her article, UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure,

has awarded you:
The inside of a magic 8-ball. Now all your choices will be easy.

Hi Sannse[edit source]

Congratulations of your featured article!!! I was going to say so on IRC but you're away, so I'll do it here instead. Of course, we all knew it was a definite winner anyway. Oh, and btw, many, many thnaks for the inside of the magic eightball - I always wondered what was inside those things but I was afraid to open one in case I released some kind of Dark Magic or something...see you soon {{RabbiTechno 18:06, 15 March 2007 (UTC)}}

Vote[edit source]

You are welcome! :3 --Hanyouman 18:54, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

w00t![edit source]

Happy Chairman Award

Bloody marvelous! Happiness abound in readings of you. Laughing Chairman Mao giving you award from Trar for special contribute of funny to Uncyclopedia!!

--For UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure. EDIT: And Tsar Wars. Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer)

Thanks to all of you :) -- sannse (talk) 13:27, 16 March 2007 (UTC)

You are welcome. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer)

I second that. Mightywayne 11:42, 17 March 2007 (UTC)

I third it again. Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer)

Hya[edit source]

I was wondering if you got my Email? Thanks. ~ 12:08, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

Eep! there is is, in that unanswered pile shoved under the sofa... along with all the bills and other important stuff! I'll get back to you in the next day or so - sorry about that -- sannse (talk) 17:29, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks. :) ~ 18:32, 18 March 2007 (UTC)

Oh come on...[edit source]

You could have at least heard me out... There was one guy on there, and he opped us and told us to post the title "something goatse". We didn't link to anything bad, infact we didn't link to anything whatsoever, except for someone did link here. Two other people came in and asked to be opped, and we didn't op them... Which in retrospect, yeah we should have given the conservatives their power back, but they just came in guns blazing calling us "fucktards" and "12 year old wikipedians" Anyway, then we gotted de-opped and they got Opped. and so it remains... I didn't mean any harm by it I was just goofing around, obviously in an irresponsible manner. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to "troll" we were just being silly. --Stevegasm 06:33, 20 March 2007 (UTC)

I'd heard enough. See also Forum:An IRC rant. But as I wasn't around at the time, and didn't know the full details, I unbanned you after a few minutes. Hopefully with my point made. -- sannse (talk) 06:53, 20 March 2007 (UTC)

Look how good I is! [1] They opped me again and I didn't do anything! (even though he said I could change the topic to poop and he wouldn't care) --Stevegasm 07:10, 22 March 2007 (UTC)

/me gives Stevegasm a cookie (and that guy a clue) -- sannse (talk) 07:56, 22 March 2007 (UTC)

Checkuser request[edit source]

This seems as good a place as any. I'd like to have a checkuser run on Agh (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser, Hogwild (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser, and Oialaaa (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser to see if two are sockpuppets of a third or not. Thanks, —Hinoa KUN (talk) 01:34, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

Replied on IRC -- sannse (talk) 18:09, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

Doing something[edit source]

What did you want me to do? (er, if it's sekrit stuffs email?) —Braydie 21:28, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

Just kill my ISP for me, please? Violently if possible, lots of blood and guts. Thanks! -- sannse (talk) 22:07, 26 March 2007 (UTC)

Waffles[edit source]

Do you like waffles?--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 10:04, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Only when correctly placed. -- sannse (talk) 10:43, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Good good.--

» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 22:25, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Wa-hey! Free Food![edit source]

Shalom!
Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno!
Lekhaim!
מזל טוב

RabbiTechno 11:08, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Awww.. thanks, I'll have a bacon and shellfish special please :) -- sannse (talk) 11:28, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Might as well ask[edit source]

Hi sannse! Sorry. I could have been more courteous. I was told by Braydie that this would annoy you. I hope not. You see, I don't like my user name, but I don't know how to change it. He said that you could do it, but that it would be annoying. I don't want to be annoying, but would it be difficult for you? I chose my original username rather rashly. If it's a matter of creating a new username, how do I get me old stuff connected to the new username? I thought I'd come to you directly and see what you thought. I'm sorry if this is a pain. and let me know if you can't help. I'd like the new username to be Math Poet. If you could just tell me what to do, I wouldn't have to bother Braydie anymore. I'll check back soon.Schizo Master 18:48, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

Meh, was nothing wrong with the first version :)

OK... Standard Name Change Lecture follows: This will be a one off, you will not be able to change it again. So please be very sure you want this change and have the name exactly as you want it (including the case of all letters other than the first). Generally, I don't want to over-use this: it's confusing to people looking for contributors, it's not good in terms of the attribution required by the license, and it's heavy on the servers. It's easier to just make a new account and redirect your old page to your new one. So please think about it, and let me know if you are certain you want to go ahead.

You have 2 minutes to make your choice (or a few days, whatever, let me know) -- sannse (talk) 19:08, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

two things. one: thank you so much for all your help with my account! two: I left a message for Braydie but it said there are now "errors on page" with it that I don't understand. Math Poet 11:09, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

there are "errors on page" all the time now. I thought it might have to do with my new username. Sorry for the trouble. Math Poet 11:11, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

Can you give me some more information on these errors? What messages do you get (in full) and where do you see them? What browser do you use? Thanks -- sannse (talk) 17:49, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

confirmation[edit source]

hi sannse! I got a message that "strange but untrue" editted my user page and my usertalk page. but the only person who did anything to my pages was you. are you "strange but untrue" or did someone discreetly edit my user page and my usertalk page? thanks. and also, thanks for all the help you gave me in the change over. i'm much happier now. Math Poet 23:32, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

Hi Math Poet. If you want to see who has edited the page, then click on the "history" tab at the top. In this case, it will take you to this page and this page. And there you can see that User:Strange but untrue make some adjustments to links on the pages. If you click the "last" link just in front of where his edit is listed, you can see exactly what he changed. Hope that helps! -- sannse (talk) 07:02, 2 April 2007 (UTC)

thanks sannse. I don't know why Strange but Untrue had to get involved but everything looks okay. I really appreciate your help.--Math Poet 12:38, 2 April 2007 (UTC)

It's a wiki, he saw a problem and fixed it, yay him! ;) -- sannse (talk) 16:27, 2 April 2007 (UTC)

new question[edit source]

i thought i'd take my article: I Think I'll Call It "Peach" to whatever the next level is. to make it a permanent article. it might get deleted for being too silly, but your UnBook inspired me to try. so. what is the next step? presently, the article is on my user page, as User:Math Poet/I Think I'll Call It "Peach". i'll check. is there a next step? i'm not sure what a "featured" article is and i was too embarrassed to ask on the chatroom. thanks for all the help. you've been great! --Math Poet 14:36, 4 April 2007 (UTC)

Hi there. You can just move it into the main area the same way you moved pages when you changed name. Just move it from User:Math Poet/I Think I'll Call It "Peach" to I Think I'll Call It "Peach".

A featured article is one that's been chosen as the best of Uncyclopedia. They go through a vote, and then the best articles are shown on the front page for two days. Most articles don't get put on the voting page, let alone get enough votes to be featured. If you want a good read, try any article in the featured list. Hope that's helped -- sannse (talk) 23:00, 4 April 2007 (UTC)

about IRC[edit source]

can you tell me about becoming an IRC client? could it possibly hurt my computer? are there hidden costs? how, exactly, do you do it?--Math Poet 13:25, 7 April 2007 (UTC)

Sorry for missing this one Math Poet, I hear you have a client now (not the one I would have recomended, but .... meh....) -- sannse (talk) 11:16, 10 April 2007 (UTC)

Pantsless Ninjastar[edit source]

Zerotrousers has awarded you the Pantsless Ninjastar

As a token of appreciation for being nice to me.

--» >ZEROTROUSERS!!! EAT ME!!!! CRAZY PERSON! SMELLY!!! ILLOGIC, BEHOLD!!!!~» 04:49, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

Thanks Zerotrousers, that's really good of you! (Wait, I was nice?) -- sannse (talk) 07:06, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

Image:'s Sauce.jpg[edit source]

Regarding your message on my talk page, you can go ahead and delete it. I uploaded a better version of the image (as Eds Sauce.jpg) and put the original on QVFD a while ago (since there is apparently no way to change an image's name or move it). Juts thought I'd let you know it's okay to delete it. Thanks for informing me! PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 20:27, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for letting me know -- sannse (talk) 20:35, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Cleaning Up[edit source]

Yeah you can go ahead and delete that picture I don't need it.

                       harmlessmassacre  talk. 03:52, 28 April 2007 (UTC)Harmlessmassacre

Image:Alphabet1.png[edit source]

Sannse -- Yeah, toss that one. I was going to put it on my userpage but decided against it. Say, you're doing what must be a virtually thankless cleanup task -- so thanks! Now it's not quite thankless. ----OEJ 00:23, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Strangely, I'm actually enjoying it... but then I'm weird. thanks -- sannse (talk) 06:40, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

skin[edit source]

“There will be a new skin for newbies. This won't be added to Uncyclopedia on the basis that it wouldn't work to have a parody of Wikipedia looking so different from Wikipedia. But, of course, if you think differently and want this then let us know. There is a page about it at wikia:Newskin.”
~ sannse on Forum:Sannse's Area of Astonishing Announcements

Um... one question. What happens to the Uncyclopédias in other languages, such as Inciclopedia? They're already full of ads for other wikia that are off-topic and not even in the same language; will they look even less Wikipedia-like now? --66.102.80.239 11:12, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

The technical team already has a list of those... they won't have the new skin as default, same as here. Although I hope it will be an individual option for all wikia. -- sannse (talk) 14:54, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the award![edit source]

Hey, thanks for the award for voting against The British Class System! My vote was actually meant to be an overly-American joke. I love the article. --Dexter111344 19:53, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! I'm so pleased people have liked this :D Must try and write something else one day... -- sannse (talk) 07:27, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

New versions of DPLforum and CreateBox[edit source]

Heya! Just thought I'd let you know that I've released two new upgrades to my existing MediaWiki extensions - DPLforum 3.0 and CreateBox 1.0, which is an upgraded version of actionCreate, without the need for Inputbox hacking to make it work right. You can check them both out in action on my personal wiki.

Also, *ahem*, why what is this, wherever could it have come from?

“Many thanks, and I promise to nag louder next time you change it.”
~ User:Sannse on Sannse

*makes with the puppy-dog eyes*

=P --Algorithm 05:04, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

heh, I'll see what I can do -- sannse (talk) 19:12, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Cheers![edit source]

A Bunch of Flours!
For blocking that vandal IP
Many thanks!
RabbiTechno

Thanks, Sannse. RabbiTechno 11:23, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Jes doin mah job ma'am -- sannse (talk) 19:59, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Ma'am?! RabbiTechno 01:12, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Cheers Again![edit source]

Olipro has bought you a beer!
Remember though, you're getting the next round.

I totally forgot to give you one of these... although I'm sure you'd have preferred a nice Cabernet, I'm just too lazy to do that template. :P -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:06, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Aww, thanks... don't worry, I'll use it to pour over someone's head and then get some wine -- sannse (talk) 20:13, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

cookies[edit source]

Trar has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

I'm giving out cookies. You get five, cuz ur an admin. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 00:19, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

Consume this cookie![edit source]

Modusoperandi has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

For being the only person on IRC sober enough to ban a bad, bad vandal. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:47, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks both, I have ceremoniously eaten some chocolate in your name, not having any 3D cookies to hand at the moment -- sannse (talk) 13:03, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

'Lo Sannse[edit source]

I made this image ages ago - I actually made the sauce too, and used it as a label on the jars, it was bloody hot as hell. I thought it may be of use to you in whatever this project you have involving satanic foods is...if not, no worries :) RabbiTechno 18:56, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

I think I'd need to take a piss in that stuff to make it taste good. -- Prof. Olipro

KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 01:13, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks Rabbi, I've no room at the moment, but am going to revisit it and add sections, another image might work well then :) it's TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL by the way -- sannse (talk) 13:33, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Only just recalled sending you this - too tired to read the article, so it's going on my watchlist for later perusal. Did you do the Satan/Winner pic? It has all the usual Sannse marks of excellence. PS, don't you think Olipro smells of poo? RabbiTechno 01:11, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, it's one of mine, not a lot to it though. And as for Olipro... not over the internet... -- sannse (talk) 13:11, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

A Modest Proposal[edit source]

Could you please hook me up with self-op-ability in #uncyclopedia? I promise to use my powers for good or for awesome. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 23:39, 10 May 2007 (UTC)

Sure, is your nick registered? If so I can add you... there are a few others around who can do it too, if I'm not around (connection problems at the moment) -- sannse (talk) 13:36, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Sho is! Savethemooses! That's me! How do I op myself once I get those pwrs? -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:58, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

Scary though it is, I've given you access. God help us all. Op-ing yourself is: /msg chanserv op #uncyclopedia ... and if you don't know that one, you might want to go find an IRC help page or two :) Your IRC client my have shortcuts that will help though. Do try not to blow the place up? -- sannse (talk) 12:14, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm locked out of my account[edit source]

This account is just a quasi-temporary replacement. Can you do anything? When are you on IRC? —Pongo (talk) (gs) 08:34, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

What do you mean by "locked out"? Are you getting any messages? if your password isn't working, have you tried requesting a new one? I'm mostly offline at the moment because of a connection issue, so you may want to try going to the IRC channels for uncyclopedia or wikia and seeing if someone else can help --sannse (talk) 12:00, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

By "locked out" I mean I changed my password, but it didn't change to what I expected. —Pongo (talk) (gs) 14:44, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

Then you need to request a new password using the button on the login page. That will send one to your email address, and you can reset it again -- sannse (talk) 14:56, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

That would be the ideal scenario, BUT I didn't register with my email address. —Pongo (talk) (gs) 18:09, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Then you are, to use the technical term, stuffed. There is no way to verify that you are the owner of that account. I'm afraid you will have to user your new one instead, and set an email to stop this happening again! -- sannse (talk) 19:52, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm not stuffed. I'm merely fried. —Pongo (talk) (gs) 16:00, 15 May 2007 (UTC)

Rename[edit source]

I can confirm I wish to be renamed to Majorly. Thanks. Alex 12:17, 15 May 2007 (UTC)

OK, this is done (I hope). Let me know if anything looks wrong -- sannse (talk) 16:39, 15 May 2007 (UTC)

Now I'm ready[edit source]

After considering the question for a long time, I think I really want to change my username to HerrDoktor. Could it be done? -- herr doktor needsAsample [scream!] 06:22, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

Hi, it could be done, I'd rather not do it though. Please read this first, then let me know if you are sure -- sannse (talk) 07:28, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm gradually abandoning my current user name on IRC and stuff. May I register this name HerrDoktor and redirect its page to mine just to reserve it for me? -- herr doktor needsAsample [scream!] 12:18, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

If you do that, then I can't assign old edits to that name. It needs to be an unused name for me to rename your current account. However, just using the new name and redirecting your old page to the new one is a good alternative. And something you can do easily now -- sannse (talk) 18:58, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

Se what I've done and tell me if everything is okay. Seems nice to me. -- herr doktor needsAcorpse [scream!] 19:07, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

Looks great! and a nice quick and easy way to make the change :) -- sannse (talk) 19:16, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

How?[edit source]

How did you (whoever that did it) remove the title at the Main Page? I'm administrator at the Norwegian Uncyclopedia, Ikkepedia, and I can't get it away there.

It's done with css or js. The best thing to do is ask on the dump. I think Splarka did it, but others will know hw -- sannse (talk) 17:09, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

Nihilismo and Vazio use __NOTITLE__ to do this. --17:00, 26 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! We are in fact before the Norwegian Wikipedia too! Sosekopp

LEGO[edit source]

OMG THANX!!!
	For voting on my Lego Assassination Image on VFP! Sliffy thanks you! I so totally stole this box
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

so sayeth Sliferjam ~ Talk * Sock * Jam * Gallery * Fearless Fosdick? 12:56, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Checkuser request[edit source]

Hey, sannse. Could you please checkuser 222.155.173.144 and King Nothing? I'm suspecting they are vote-rigging socks of Shadow the Blade, as referenced here. However he claims they are his friends, and I just want to double check. Thanks. --AAA! (AAAA) 10:19, 25 May 2007 (UTC)

nothing on Checkuser suggests they are the same person. -- sannse (talk) 13:00, 25 May 2007 (UTC)

From my talk page[edit source]

Can you help me change my user name to Vichysouisse or Hemovichysouisse? Gobonobo 06:58, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

I've left him a reply here. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:30, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

OK, thanks Codeine. With that few edits, no reason not to just make a new account. Especially as he's already moved his user page -- sannse (talk) 19:53, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

What are the odds?[edit source]

Two name changes in a row? UNPOSSIBLE. Yet, here I am. I think I was smoking bumper stickers when I added all the decorative junk to my username. If I could get this trimmed down to just "Erwin", it'd be noice. --Erwin Rommel 21:20, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b first, and get back to me if you really need this -- sannse (talk) 10:01, 4 June 2007 (UTC)

I (probably rather wisely) took a goodly amount of time to think the decision over, and in the end my decision has not changed. I can erudite myself as much as I want with a shorter name, but with my current one my options are rather limited. Sorry for the bother, but I still would like my name changed. --Erwin Rommel 15:29, 5 June 2007 (UTC)

OK, looks like it's done. You may want to announce your new nameness somewhere, just so's everyone knows -- sannse (talk) 17:37, 5 June 2007 (UTC)

Unused Images![edit source]

Not that I shirk my duties often, but since you seem to be the queen of unused images, I thought I would give you a little present. The ones near the bottom seem to be more likely to be unused than the ones near the top. :) Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 06/3 14:19

Whoa, that's a lot of... stuff. I'm currently working alphabetically through the file list (slowly recently as I've been away/disconnected) but might have a diversion into there. Usually I ignore images people have kept in their namespace for some reason, but that's rather excessive for sure. -- sannse (talk) 10:02, 4 June 2007 (UTC)

image:black.jpg[edit source]

Hi, could you help me revert that one to the original version? For some reason it doesn't work....thanks! ~ 18:37, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

Sorry, forgot to actually reply. What you did would have worked, there is just a delay any time images are overwritten. This is mentioned when you upload another image of the same name, but not if you are reverting - not sure how to add it there... -- sannse (talk) 13:26, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanksya! ~ 18:17, 11 June 2007 (UTC)

Choose Your Own Audio Adventure[edit source]

I added an adaptation of your wonderful article to UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure. Tell me what you think!

Wonderful! this is really good work. -- sannse (talk) 13:29, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

That Wikia Spotlight Thing[edit source]

Don't worry, dukes down. I'm on your side. I would just like to know, am I defending the wrong side? Don't talk to me as a Wikian, talk to me as an Uncyclopedian with inside knowledge. Is this part of a massive plan to overhaul Uncyclopedia into Geocities? I don't personally think that it's a problem in any way shape or form. Sure, it's a little bit ugly, but I think that Rangeley is overreacting immensely. But I could be wrong.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:42, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

I don't think it's possible not to talk as both, that's who I am :) Although I try hard to keep the two roles as separate as possible.

No. Uncyclopedia will never be Geocities. That's not to say there will never be more ads, or different ads, but I have faith that we will never turn into About.com (a site I left because of their increase in ads). And it's not just Wikia's taste and conscience that ensures this... Wikia owns the domain name, and the equipment the site is maintained on. They don't, can't, and never will own the content. That is owned by us, the authors. Wikia provides the space to write, and the facilities to maintain that space, and in return for that service they show ads. But the community is always within its rights to fork, copy the content and set up a self-hosted wiki. The Grand Evil Plan is to develop Wikia and the wikis hosted by Wikia into massive successes - while trying hard not to do something stupid enough to make the communities leave.

Hope that helps -- sannse (talk) / sannse (talk) 19:17, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

THANK YOU[edit source]

Thanks. I was really getting tired of his crap. --Andorin Kato 00:20, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

ThrowSomeds[edit source]

I request a checkuser for this guy. I suspect that he is a sockpuppet of 99Hello3. --General Insineratehymn 00:31, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

Indeed... and a few other accounts. Blocked. -- sannse (talk) 08:40, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

IRC[edit source]

I'm sorry for the drama. When, and if, I ever come back, I shall be on my best behavior, my word. This is not a request for un-block, but instead, I thank-you. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:32, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

The block was removed almost straight away. Although I think an earlier attempt may have kicked in... anyway, that's clear now too -- sannse (talk) 05:08, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

My Images[edit source]

OK look, if you must delete some of my "unused" images, that so be it, but there is a better alternative: I'll mark the "deletable" images with one of these: * (yeah, that dot thing) It will indicate that the image is ok for deleting. Just PLEASE don't delete any of my pics under the "Wallpapers" or "Original Images" section, as I do plan to use those! I would really appreciate that. Thanks! 03:11, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Please see below. -- sannse (talk) 21:28, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Re: Image[edit source]

I don't think I need that one... -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 04:32, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for letting me know :) sannse (talk) 21:28, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

My Image (cont.)[edit source]

Don't worry, I've already marked the images you can delete with one of these: "*". Just please don't delete any of the pics on the "Original Images" or "Wallpapers" pages as I DO plan on using those for certain articles. Also, I plan on using the unmarked pics on my "Other Images" page on certain articles. (Some are already in use). Sorry if I did a little to much uploading. Don't worry, from now on, I'll ONLY upload an image if I plan on using it in an article. Otherwise, I'l refrain from uploading. 04:32, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

I'm afraid they are going. This is not the place to store wallpapers. There is usually leaway for original funny images, or images intended for articles, but you have way overdone it. I won't get around to this as quickly as I hoped, but I suggest you copy any images you want to keep to your hard drive now. This includes images on the "original" and "wallpapers" pages -- sannse (talk) 21:27, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Re: Images[edit source]

OK, you can wipe my "wallpapers" (the ones not used in articles), but a guarantee that the "unmarked images I have are images that I am either going to use for articles (for instance, the "Grizdar characters" are part of an article on a TV show I'm working on) or are being used. I'll indicate which images are in use. 00:14, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

Wikia told me to talk to you about this.[edit source]

Well, this afternoon about three seperate people have come onto #uncyclopedia to complain about http://unpedia.org/. It seems that they are trying to "copyright" (see the bottom of the only page they have, so far) our content. I'm not sure how to react, but when I asked in #wikia they told me to talk to you about it. Feel free to do whatever you think should be done. -- The Zombiebaron 23:29, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

At the moment they are not actually doing anything. They are claiming copyright on that page (not much to copyright there) and have a link to us. Then there are links that list all the language versions, but go nowhere. This is one to watch, that's for sure. But so far there is nothing there -- sannse (talk) 20:37, 28 June 2007 (UTC)

Flyingfeline needs your help[edit source]

For about the past hour, flyingfeline has been on IRC, in both the wikia and uncyclopedia channels, trying to get someone to help her. It seems that she has lost her password, and cannot sign-on to Uncyclopedia. She does, however, remember her IRC password, which lends an air of truth to this not being a crank. Anyway, she told me to leave this message telling to that she needs your help. -- The Zombiebaron 23:35, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

Tis true, I am indeed a moron of the highest order. I also somehow managed to junk my email address from my preferences, so I can't be contacted from my userpage. I know this does look like the classic hoax, especially as there's not really any way of proving I am who I say I am... Um..

Hey, I know, Braydie sent me an email once (yay, huge amounts of copy-pasted text):

On 27 Mar 2007, at 19:22, Braydie wrote:
Hey FF,
How's it going? Hope like.. er you're ok and stuff..
Oh some people want to say hi from #uncyclopedia
<sannse> ooh! say hi from me
Oh. Seems that only one responded.
So yeah, the real point: When do your exams finish.. and when do you reckon you'll return, if
you do decide to return.
It wouldn't hurt to pop your head in #uncyclopedia every once in a while either! Unless you're
planning a spectacular re-entry then just turn up unannounced (make sure I know though, email
me beforehand :P).
Braydie.

Ta-da! Actually, now I come to think of it, that probably doesn't help much either, unless Braydie sees it and can vouch that he sent that email... (goes to find Braydie)

Anyway, I really hope you can help, sorry about the huge palaver. --The Cat With The Memory Of A Goldfish 00:26, 28 June 2007 (UTC)

deleted images[edit source]

I assume the great image purge of 2007 on my images is complete. very well then, I had not gottoen around to making the articles that would require those pics anyway. But say I made an article that needed a pic that you deleted, I could just re-upload the image if it was to be used in an article right?

19:51, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

Nope. There are still a lot of unused images in your namespace. Expect more deletions. But yes, if you are using the image in an article now then you are welcome to upload it. If it's for a future article then please don't. Although I have to say, I am rather confused at some of your articles... is The Michael Jackson Show a factual article? I don't see any parody in that at all. -- sannse (talk) 21:24, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

DemetriMartinX.gif[edit source]

Sannse, this image was made for DiZ for his graphical article Demetri Martin. I don't think he plans on using it...you might ask him, though. It seems to me that he added more frames to the article that I did not get around to including in the animation. ----OEJ 15:00, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

You may recognise some of this template code[edit source]

Hey, I'm recycling. Doing my bit for the environment.

For voting for Hoboeroticism,
Codeine bestows upon you:
One shiny new quarter. Now you can make a homeless guy very happy.

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:39, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

Woohoo! although it looks a lot better in pink... -- sannse (talk) 10:45, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

CheckUser[edit source]

Could you check out Beezwax and Cremationist? I'm guessing that they're the same person - one is banned infinitely, the other is a new user. Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 07/2 22:03

Reply at User talk:Famine

They are the same person, but Beezwax is being good now, besides, its fun arguing with him lol. He's just a sheltered misdirected kid raised by right-wing parents lol – Preceding unsigned comment added by 142.176.13.19 (talk • contribs)

The Michael Jackson show & stuff[edit source]

Well, I'm going to re-write it so it sounds more satirical. Anyway, I'll just re-upload the deleted images if and when I'm gonna use them in an article. 01:17, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Page source comment fetchy things[edit source]

Some pages are showing as fetching some comments, like  several hundred times on a page. Just do "view source" on a page and scroll down to about line 70. It differs from each page, for example, Main Page only has about 50 of these, while my user page gets over 1000, accounting for over half of the downloaded page size.

Also, while I'm here, perhaps related to the uncyc skin thing (but still slightly different). Choosing any skin other than "uncyclopedia" will stop the whole site loading, leaving just a blank page. Also making it impossible to get back to the preferences to change it back, unless you know how to use useskin=uncyclopedia and go the that url directly. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 10:42, 08 Jul 2007

Wrong interwiki nl[edit source]

Hi, I think you can help me. The nl interwiki link is a wrong one. Now it is: onziclo.pedie.info, and it should be: oncyclopedia.net. I hope you can fix this. Greetings from Holland, Marconius 17:10, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

Hi, I've asked for this to be changed, it shouldn't take long -- sannse (talk) 07:49, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

And it's done! -- sannse (talk) 12:27, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

CAPERCORN AWARD[edit source]

--Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 17:14, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

A Jet Fighter With Missing Landing Gear... just what I always wanted... I guess... umm... thanks! -- sannse (talk) 12:26, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

Images[edit source]

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Image:Greyalien2.jpg and http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Image:Great_car_wreck.jpg can both be deleted. I can't even remember what I uploaded them for now... :) RabbiTechno 13:10, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks muchley! -- sannse (talk) 15:55, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

namespace for 'no'[edit source]

Please check Uncyclopedia:Multilingual coordination#Norwegian Laurusnobilis 17:26, 25 July 2007 (UTC)

Please join our discussion at Uncyclopedia:Multilingual coordination#ikkepedia.wikia.com vs. ikkepedia.org on the Norwegian uncyclopedias, and I might give you a cookie or an old twinkie I found under my couch. It really needs your input. --Trubadurix 19:49, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay, I'm there now -- sannse (talk) 09:25, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Embarrassed adoptee in distress[edit source]

Hya Sannse, how are you doing these days? If you could take a look here, you can see that ForestAngel feels pretty bad about the Goatse incident, and did it out of pure noobness, not malice. Could you reconsider the IRC ban? I'll have a word with her regarding acceptable IRC behavior :). Thanks! ~ 12:36, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Hi, she's unblocked. Just so you don't think I'm toooo harsh... there was an explanation, a warning, and a kick on various days before this ban. Glad you reminded me though, I meant to remove it before logging off and forgot. ForrestAngel, if you are reading dear... it's simple: 1. NO shock links. 2. Any links that may offend little old ladies MUST be labelled with "NSFW" or equivalent. This applies even when you are cute. -- sannse (talk) 15:10, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Never thought of you as a harsh person:) Thanks! I'll make sure she reads that...~

15:12, 2 August 2007 (UTC)

Is this the right place?[edit source]

After some discussion on IRC about it, I've come to realize that my first name is a lot cooler than my current name(Which is the first letter of my first name and part of my last). As such, I have decided that I would like to change. I know this is difficult, and a pain in the ass, and that you are on a paid vacation to Taiwan(or something). However, I also know that you are the expert on the subject, and I feel that I ought to grovel and beg and pray for some help in this ordeal. Sincerely, EugeneKay. EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank) 15:22, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

Help![edit source]

Hey Sannse - Famine here. I was playing around with the new skin, and noticed that it didn't go fullscreen for me. To see if this was the same on other skins, I tried a bunch of them, for the first time, ever. On Slate, I think, I ended up with some major corruption which makes it impossible for me to render pages. The error is:

[code removed]

This is obviously a huge problem if other people are doing this too. I was wondering if you could do one or both of the following:

Fix whatever the problem is.

Reset my skin so I can actually view/edit pages instsead of seeing the above on every page.

Thanks! Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 20:00, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

After complaining in other places too, Spang directed me to Step 1: Log in. Step 2: go here. and all was well. Still, the fact that I can choose a skin and be locked out of my acct is a bad thing, methinks. So, here's my plan: If wikia can't get it fixed, I'll direct users who I don't like to it instead of banning them. I'm devilishly evil like that.

Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 08/5 01:13

Hey Famine, Sorry about that! The new skins shouldn't be a option on Uncyclopedia (yet), so they have been removed now. Sorry for the problem! -- sannse (talk) 03:19, 5 August 2007 (UTC)

Delete this page[edit source]

Hi Sannse. Can you please delete these pages; User:Jet123/Sexy, User:Jet123/UP, and User:Jet123/Userboxes. Thank you. Jet123 22:09, 8 August 2007 (UTC)

Hey Jet, all done. -- sannse (talk) 20:18, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Delete User:Jet123 and User talk:Jet123[edit source]

Hi. Can you delete these pages please; User:Jet123 and User talk:Jet123. Thank you. Jet123 01:08, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

Also done -- sannse (talk) 07:36, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

PLS Prize[edit source]

Hey, I just wanted to say my prize for the PLS arrived in the mail today, and it gave me a good laugh. It really made my day. I was also surprised that not only did you send the money in Canadian bills rather than by cheque, but you also sent out an amount worth slightly more than US$20 with the current exchange rate. (No complaints here.) I just wanted to thank you again for sending out the prize in the first place -- it still blows me away that I actually received actual physical items to recognize my win. Thanks again, and, as I've said before, be sure to contact me when the next PLS rolls around, because I'd definitely like to help out with it in whatever way I can. All the best. -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 17:03, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

Well it was about as close as I could get it in round numbers, and I figured Canadian would be better for you :) Took it's damn time getting to you, but I'm glad it got there safely, and gladder it got a laugh (I wonder if you got the "congratulations on your baby boy" card... I don't recall now...). Thanks for letting me know you got it, and have fun with the flashy-light-pen! -- sannse (talk) 17:43, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

Heh[edit source]

Sorry Sannse, I won't do it again. :P - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 19:47, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

Grumble-grump -- sannse (talk) 19:56, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

-*Gives Sannse a cookie* -

Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate

20:03, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

UnCameron footnote problem[edit source]

Hello. The footnotes on UnCameron have disappeared and it appears that the poll is interfering with them somehow. Could you look into it and have a word with the technical team to see if this can be sorted out? Thanks. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 14:00, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

I've seen something similar before, it's a bug with the extension rather than Wikia, so we will probably have to get the author to fix it. I'll check with Algo, and find out what he found out last time -- sannse (talk) 14:44, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

For your challange[edit source]

Sorry for the delay.

Spanish: media:Gracias.ogg

Hebrew: media:Toda.ogg

In hebrew I have an accent, but some natives speakers don't notice till they listen to me for a while. So I guess this should be enough for what you need. BTW, just curious, how many did you learn by now?---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 09:29, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! So far I know Chinese, German, Dutch, Finnish, Spanish (but now I can work on my pronunciation), and French... I'm working on getting Polish and Zulu right at the moment, they are tricky. Kiitos! -- sannse (talk) 09:38, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

You're welcome. I can also say thanks in Italian and Portuguese, but for those languages my accent might be a little more significant. So if you dont get native speakers for those two and you are still interested let me know.---Asteroid B612

(aka Rataube) - Ñ 09:48, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

I've just remembered I know the word in russian too, but I can't promise people won't understand something else and hit you if you pronounce it as I do. And then you wouldn't tell me "merci".---Asteroid B612

(aka Rataube) - Ñ 09:51, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

Cool, I'll let you know if I can't find native speakers. I forgot to bring my mic to Poland, so I'm going to have to wait for that one, although when they say it here I still can't duplicate it... I think it's going to be harder than Zulu! -- sannse (talk) 10:02, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

Delete User:Jet123[edit source]

Hi. Can you delete User:Jet123 please? Thank you. Jet123 00:33, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

didn't I already do that once? What's with this? -- sannse (talk) 19:12, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

My name change[edit source]

You're a staff right? I'm sure I want to change my name. My current name is Edmundkh. I've just read what you've shown me, and I'm very very sure I wanna change my name. I'm not worried to confuse others, as I seldom come here (I'm more on Wikipedia). As I've changed my name in Wikipedia and other Wikimedia projects, look carefully, this is the new name I want:

EdmundEzekielMahmudIsa

Please copy CORRECTLY!! I've checked, no typo error. Thank you very much! MUACKSS...! --Edmund the King of the Woods! 07:19, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Sure... when you ask nicely sweety -- sannse (talk) 19:12, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

Huh? I don't understand, sorry... --Edmund the King of the Woods! 07:18, 29 September 2007 (UTC)

Oh, you know... just a natural tendency not to like being ordered around in big bold text and capslock... -- sannse (talk) 04:19, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

The Cabal recommends renaming this user to <censored>. -- Mantiwhore ^{Spam | Vandalism} 04:03, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

Now now, let's be nice to the newbie -- sannse (talk) 17:44, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

Checkuser[edit source]

Hi Sannse, howzit?

Could you check MITB LS vs. I look, I feel, I smell like money? I have a pretty concrete feeling this is a wikipedian vandal which I reverted a few days ago and too it personally. If this is the fact - who can I talk with @ Wikipedia? Thanks! ~ 07:24, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

Yes, likely to be the same person. But I doubt a Wikipedian admin will be able to do anything, best it's sorted on this wiki. I see Codiene has already blocked him, that'll do -- sannse (talk) 19:12, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

Alrighty, cheers! ~

21:33, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

Thanks for backing up who I was in the chat last night, it was getting a little heated and perhaps not so... friendly with some others, but it seemed to stop after what you said. So thanks again. ~Sir Rangeley GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 12:44, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

No problem. And I understand that the "Evil overlord" stuff is getting annoying for you. I'd just seen it as a way to lighten the mood, good ol uncyc style, but I'll drop it -- sannse (talk) and sannse (talk) 17:21, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Check, Check. Test 1...2..Test 1...2..[edit source]

Got an interesting request on my usertalk page. User:Blakie requests deletion of stuff in the space of User:Blake C and User:Blake7643 immediately after striking out ban patrol entries about possible socketpuppetry. He's gone a bit for that, but I'm wondering if you can tell me how many of the above users are the same person. Sir Famine , Gun ♣ Petition » 09/22 14:40

Hi, sorry, forgot this was here! There are no results for User:Blake C and User:Blake7643, so nothing to say whether they are or aren't socks. User:Blakie is highly likely to also be User:Blake C., that's all I can say on this one... sorry -- sannse (talk) 02:46, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

Comrade[edit source]

Thank you for supporting me for
dictatorship at the VFS. Now my
diabolical scheme for domination
can commence. You Are A True
Comrade.

~

A moment of your time?[edit source]

Hi, i'm trying to find good stuff for the Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats article to save it from being deleted. I figured that an interview with an actual bureaucrat would fit in nicely. Would you mind one? If not, thank you for reading this. Conniving 19:47, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Hi, I'm not a Bureaucrat I'm afraid, just an admin (and staff because I work for Wikia). You are looking for one of these guys -- sannse (talk) 04:50, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

Aww. I thought you'd still do all that fancy stuff a bureaucrat does. :( Conniving 12:45, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

The only extra abilities a bureaucrat has is to make other users admins or bureaucrats. I have a few other buttons as staff, but those can only be used with my staff hat on, not with my admin hat on. Weird, I know, but it's the only way I can be staff and community member at the same time. Hope that explains it -- sannse (talk) 04:32, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Name change[edit source]

Hi there, as per our discussion on IRC and reading your link, I'd still like to change my nick from "Painezor" to "Paine", if you would be so kind. Please and thanks. :) -Painezor 18:54, 10 October 2007 (UTC)

Done -- sannse (talk) 19:51, 10 October 2007 (UTC)

Password[edit source]

Ma'am: Forgive me for importuning you, but, alas, I am unable to log into my account: User:Morsa. The password I have written down is rejected as "incorrect"; and, because I am paranoid about distributing my e-mail address to any website, I am unable to prompt the site to e-mail me the correct password. The password which I recorded was a ten-letter mathematical term beginning with the letter 'T'. Could you please assist me in accessing my account? Thank you!

God bless, Soy el Morsa 75.71.94.153 00:55, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

I'm sorry, passwords are encrypted by the software and aren't readable by us. So there is no way for me to check your password, and without an email address, no way for the system to send you a new one. I would suggest making a new account, and linking the user pages of both accounts to show it's you. Sorry I can't help -- sannse (talk) 11:01, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

Well, as long as you won't ban me for sockpuppetry! Thank you for your help, ma'am.75.71.94.153 03:20, 16 October 2007 (UTC)

Nah, no problem... just make it clear what you are doing and all will be well -- sannse (talk) 17:41, 16 October 2007 (UTC)

Error reminder[edit source]

Hi! This is just a reminder of that error that keeps presenting itself.

Error: addOnloadHook is not defined
Source File: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=-&action=raw&smaxage=0&gen=js
Line: 148

It keeps interfering with custom JavaScript. -- Mitch 13:32, 21 October 2007 (UTC)

Please rename my username[edit source]

Can you rename my username from Mr. Blake to Tigerboy and leave me a message? --Mr Blake · Talk · Contributions 13:35, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

Please read this and then get back to me. Thanks, -- sannse (talk) 21:14, 29 October 2007 (UTC)

Checkuser plz[edit source]

Hi. A few users (namely Stoop3881, Goodmate, Goodman, and Mr. Blake) is raising my suspicions of being a Blake C sock, judging by their similar edits. Could you please double check for me? --AAA! (AAAA) 01:53, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

No results for Blake C. -- sannse (talk) 21:17, 29 October 2007 (UTC)

Loldongs[edit source]

Don't let the header fool you, this is a serious matter. You may like to Ban/CheckUser/Rename to <censored> one or more of the following:

Also, what's the word on the uncyc cloak? Dave2's been as specific as "it's in the queue", which he assures me is actually rather specific.

Yours truly for long time,

— Sir Manticore 08:48, 29 October 2007 (UTC)

On the first, stick 'em in Ban patrol if they are an issue. On the second, Why would I know more than Dave2? All I can do is request it, which I did, the rest is up to Freenode. Sorry! -- sannse (talk) 21:22, 29 October 2007 (UTC)

Come on! He's alphanumeric! That means he's basically a clone without a soul! Never fear though sannse, apparently Angela has been speaking with Sean about speeding up the process.

I poked you about those users because they seemed rather sockish, but I imagine someone else will have picked up on them and done the right thing. -- — Sir Manticore

08:25, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

Name change[edit source]

How would I go about changing my username? It kind of sucks... Jesus Freak Atheist 21:44, 8 November 2007 (UTC)

Easiest way, just make a new account. You can redirect your old user page to the new one -- sannse (talk) 22:53, 8 November 2007 (UTC)

Title blacklist[edit source]

After persistent page move vandalism, someone lazily poked me on IRC to ask someone on Central about setting up a local title blacklist (a global one would interfere with some legitimate page names on other Wikia). It would need to be a MediaWiki page that functions with regex to work properly. Can you set that up once you've arrived back in ye olde England? Thanks. -- — Sir Manticore 09:29, 13 November 2007 (UTC)

w:MediaWiki talk:Blacklist title list has some good phrases to huff. -- — Sir Manticore

14:58, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

Nag nag nag.... I've sent a query on this to the staff list. And please don't hide messages in plain view like this! -- sannse (talk) 19:43, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

Recent Changes typo[edit source]

From RC:

Below are the last 50 changes in the last last 7 days, as of 13:26, November 19, 2007.

I have no idea whether you care about little stuff like this, but since I know you have some sort of connection with Wikia, I figured you were the one to come to about this. (After all, we don't want any typos on our wiki, do we?) --Andorin Kato 20:31, 19 November 2007 (UTC)

Meh, any admin could have fixed that. Done! And yeah, I have a connection with Wikia, right through the pay-packet. The things we do for our daily diamonds -- sannse (talk) 21:10, 19 November 2007 (UTC)

I'm sorry mistress![edit source]

/me hiding under the carpet. Could you explain what I did wrong? ~ 20:07, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

you included IPs, and then forgot to remove that part of the block when you unblocked. So the user had to come onto IRC and ask to be unblocked fully. Silly sausage -- sannse (talk) 20:39, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

That is probably the most...charming insult I ever got :) I promise to behave in the future...~

21:12, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

Possible socks? Need a checkuser.[edit source]

From what I know, only staff could do this, and you're staff, so can you check out these fellas to see if there's any relation:

Thanks -- TKFU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U UU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U CK 02:23, 7 December 2007 (UTC)

Interesting ... I've emailed you some results. When you ask for one of these, contributions links are always best. Yes, this is because I'm too lazy to click one extra link to get there myself... this is an inescapable fact of life. Sorry. -- sannse (talk) 21:15, 7 December 2007 (UTC)

Jingle Bell Rock[edit source]

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring

Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun

Now the jingle hop has begun

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time

Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square

In the frosty air.

What a bright time, it's the right time

To rock the night away

Jingle bell time is a swell time

To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet

Jingle around the clock

Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet

That's the jingle bell,

That's the jingle bell rock!

\o / 17:22, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

And a merry penguin to you my friend -- sannse (talk)

I yam what I yam.[edit source]

As per IRC confirmation. Also, while I'm here, can I get a Checkuser done on AE and Manforman to see if the two are connected, and what-have-you? Me and Mordillo have a hunch. -- TKFU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U UU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U CK 20:14, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Ta, and done, and contribs links! -- sannse (talk) 20:17, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Rough Pubs[edit source]

Been curious lately as to how one of mine would do on pee review. If you have a spare five minutes, any chance you could take a look? Cheers. RabbiTechno 12:43, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

OK, I'm guessing you want the honest review, and not the "OMG that was soooo cooool!!" review?

This article scored three chuckles and a guffaw. That's generally not enough for me to vote for featured (that usually requires at least one outright laugh) but is a respectable total. There was also definite smileyness throughout and, big plus, I actually read the whole thing. In particular, the "Pub games" and "Clientele" sections were good, but although that ended the article on a high note, it also ended... sorta...

What else... the paragraph about Peggy didn't really fit, or give me any tickles to the funny bone... and I might tighten up and simplify some of the language to make it more readable... and that's all I can think of to improve it. All in all: OMG that was soooo cooool!!

sannse (talk) 22:27, 12 December 2007 (UTC) who hasn't written a thing for uncyc in god knows how long. So take this for what it's worth. And on the bottom silly!

That's good enough for me. Not bothered about getting featured anyway, I try to keep out of the competitiveness that leads to. Thanks! RabbiTechno 20:21, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Banning Question[edit source]

Hellair, I was wondering how do you translate a username into an IP address to execute a range ban when needed? Thanks. ~ 09:52, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

This is where you need your local friendly staffer (that's me. OK... semi-friendly...). You need to ask for a Checkuser, either on IRC, via email, or here. I tend to grumble a lot if you don't give me the contributions links of those accounts you want me to check, this is because it means I have to make ONE EXTRA CLICK! In general, we don't give out IPs of users for privacy reasons, which is why staff only have this function. But if someone is vandalising or otherwise causing trouble then we can give out info as needed. -- sannse (talk) 20:07, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

It scares the shit out of me when you use your wikia signature, I become all nervous and answering with a "yes ma`am" "no ma`am" :). I was asking since this morning I had a vandal coming back three times under different user names, and obviously I couldn't initiate a range ban on that. Thanks! I'll call you up next time. Ma`am. ~

20:17, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Eep! calling me ma'am makes me seem even older! OK, I'll keep to the fluffy sig -- sannse (talk) 20:20, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas![edit source]

Bonner would like to wish you

a Merry Christgame
And a happy New Game
P.S, You just lost the game
(Bonner) (Talk)

Indeed, it is that time of year again isn't it[edit source]

Merry Christmas

Despite being required by British law to carry an umbrella throughout December, and to respond to all festive cheer with "Bah Humbug", nonetheless I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever other gnostic mystical mumbo-jumbo you colonials practice these days.
Just don't tell the Queen.

Nothing gets past me, oh no. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 21:29, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Bloody Pagans[edit source]

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

I'd give you my wife for Paganmas but you just had to move to California. Kentuckistan is much better.

Have a not-shitty Christmas![edit source]

	*Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really* about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!**
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:37, Dec 17

A WARNING[edit source]

ARE YOU PREPARED?

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.
WE ADVISE YOU TAKE PRECAUTIONS.

TAKE HEED.
TAKE NOTICE.
TAKE COVER.

a friendly message from your local Santa Awareness Bureau.

Oh look! Another christmas template![edit source]

I just wanted to wish yew a faggy christmas!
I mean... merry.
I hope yew get some great christmas :D
Honest, I meant merry!
~Fag x FS

Christmas and stuff[edit source]

Merry Christmas!
or whatever it is you
new-fangled Christians do at this
time of year.
From Rabbi Techno

Mandatory Christmas Greeting[edit source]

Satan Claus, shortly after devouring the "snack" left for him.

MERRY
CHRISTMAS

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

SATAN CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

-- This preceding message of dire warning was brought to you by Unknown_user

-- Sir U nknown User^{(Talk : Cont : VFH : PEE : CUN)} 21:53, 22 December 2007 (UTC)

Please change the username Borogx into G&K[edit source]

Dear Sannse,

I have been requested by a user to ask you to change the username Borogx into G&K. Actually, I don't really know what he/she means because in my talkpage in Wikia central, the message was signed by G&K.

Thank you, --Agus elex 2005 03:28, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

I can only change usernames on Uncyclopedia, and genearlly suggest that it's easier to simply make a new username. But either way I need more information! Please direct this guy to my talk page to leave the full details. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 12:51, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Christmas[edit source]

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch 13:20, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Merry Xmas![edit source]

~ Merry Xmas Sannse/Archive! ~

Ye Olde Luke

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

I appear to have been banned from #uncyclopedia[edit source]

I already complained to emc under the impression he could help but he was useless. I don't know how this happened. I suspect one of my "friends" was messing with my laptop while he was at my house and spammed the chatroom. How can I become unbanned? -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 02:23, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Manticore just cleared a load of old bans, see if that helped. If not, then I need to know your hostmask. Go on to IRC, Type: /whois YourNick, and then send me the results or ping one of the other ops. That should help. Ta -- sannse (talk) 14:47, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Sannse I happen to know this blocked user 'Luna Santin Sucks'.[edit source]

I emailed the user, "Why the hell did you get a name like that?! You realize you'll get banned from Uncyc, right?" He said, "Luna Santin sucks because that horrible user of Wikipedia has been known to prevent everyone from editing!!!" Jesus, that user is an arse. Good job blocking him. Ta -- User:ALLURBASERBELONG2US/Sig 14:07, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

PLS prize money[edit source]

CRAP! Is it still too late to ask Wikia/you about this? --EMC^[TALK] 16:12, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

It's too late to ask Wikia, but I'll fund it personally... AND LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, YOUNG MAN! -- sannse (talk) 12:36, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Honestly, I feel pretty terrible about all of this. --EMC^[TALK] 14:24, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Consume this cookie![edit source]

Modusoperandi has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

For graciously covering for EMC's gross incompetence. Well, not incompetence, just gross. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 12:45, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

*blames Mhaille* --EMC^[TALK] 14:21, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Feel free to blame me, I'm a Jew after all. ~ Mordillo where is my INBRED? 14:27, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

I thought we were blaming Hindus this week? And yay cookie! -- sannse (talk) 15:56, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Hello Checky User Please[edit source]

Evening mistress, can you please check Jeebuss (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. kpmartin18 (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. the following ips:

65.49.14.28 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)
67.159.41.98 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)
71.245.240.136 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)

Apparently seem to be two friends, I infinibanned Jeebus for ban evasion and general dickery, and then another IP pops up and claims that all the offenses were carried out by kpmartin18 which is a friend of his. See my talk page for further detail if you need any. Thanks! ~ Mordillo where is my INBRED? 22:20, 23 January 2008 (UTC)

I don't get results from the kpmartin18 account, so can't speak to that. Jeebuss' IP doesn't match any of the three you gave, but it does match the anon claiming to be him on your talk page. Hope that helps -- sannse (talk) 22:56, 23 January 2008 (UTC)

Somewhat. Thanks! :) ~ Mordillo where is my INBRED? 23:04, 23 January 2008 (UTC)

Me again, pesking[edit source]

Need another checkuser please: The Hunt (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. That Guy Huffed Me (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser. Thanks! ~ Mordillo where is my INBRED? 10:20, 27 January 2008 (UTC) Also, I know that the UK is in Europe

Hai. No match. And bet you don't, you are making that up -- sannse (talk) 20:28, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

Thanks! ~ Mordillo where is my INBRED? 20:48, 27 January 2008 (UTC) I might be

Huuu-huuu :(([edit source]

Please change my name Borogx->G&K please '_' Borogx 10:14, 30 January 2008 (UTC)

and... give CheckUser acsess for 1 day @Tolololpedia. Oppss my username is G&K you know? Borogx 10:16, 30 January 2008 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b... and remember to sign your name in blood to say you have done so. A nice, clear, large signature please - using about 8 pints of blood should do it. Thanks. -- sannse (talk) 12:31, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

And no. -- sannse (talk) 12:31, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

Geoffrey Boycott move[edit source]

Hi Sannse, I've improved User:Knucmo2/Geoffrey Boycott to the point where I think it deserves its own page again; so do I take the source text from the Geoffrey Boycott article on my userpage, go to Geoffrey Boycott and create the new article there? Or is there some special way of doing it?--Knucmo2 17:44, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

Best to move, then the history will stay intact. You should see a move tab at the top of the page... just click that, put in the new title, and click move. If you want the redirect that will be left behind deleted, just let me know. Or you can just leave it, it's no harm. -- sannse (talk) 19:23, 5 February 2008 (UTC) (p.s. are you my uncle?)

A bit silly of me to have forgotten everything I learnt at Wikipedia (not a lot then!) - I totally forgot about the 'move' function. What's that about your uncle? --Knucmo2 00:06, 6 February 2008 (UTC)

He's here, somewhere.... he could be any one of you.... <suspicious look> -- sannse (talk) 08:56, 6 February 2008 (UTC)

You rang?[edit source]

I saw you were looking for me @ IRC. Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 13:49, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

So I was... I can't remember, do you speak Hebrew? If you do, I'd love to borrow your eyes sometime... Catch ya later -- sannse (talk) 20:51, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Errr...it's my mother tongue :) Much better than my English. Any time you need. Brigadier Sir Mordillo

GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:39, 9 February 2008 (UTC)

Request for name change[edit source]

I'd like to have my name changed to "The Dragon Man." Can you do that for me? Thanks. ----Gp75motorsports ^{REV LIMITER} 18:08, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

I can... but I won't until I know you have read and comprehended User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b. Let me know if you still want the change after that. Ta -- sannse (talk) 20:52, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, just read it. I understand that I will not be able to change it again, and yes, that is the way I want it. Thanks again. ----Gp75motorsports ^{REV LIMITER} 21:01, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Waiting... ----Gp75motorsports ^{REV LIMITER} 19:05, 10 February 2008 (UTC)

Patience grasshopper. Ever heard of "weekends"? Wikia does have this strange habit of letting staff have days off around then. Anyway.... name change done. I made it "The Dragon Man" rather than "The Dragon Man.", although I was tempted to let you stew in your own full stop (that's "period" if you are one of those Merkin kinds). If you actually did want "The Dragon Man." then I'll give you a free second change to that. -- sannse (talk) 11:26, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

Thanks! Using new name now. ------TheDragonMan ^{Chase the Dragon!} 01:35, 12 February 2008 (UTC) 15:44, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Indiana Jones and the Prize of Poo Lit[edit source]

Thanks for pulling the prize money out of whereveritis that you store your money. Keep it, I say. If you really want to spend the money, donate it to a local public school for the library or somesuch. They need it more than me. I gots mine educashin. I does! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:49, 10 February 2008 (UTC)

But... but... then I don't get to send your sooper dooper auxiliary prize! Didn't you win before? If so, I promise that it's something ~~better~~ different from last time. Please don't make me keep it! -- sannse (talk) 11:30, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

Is it behind door #3? I'll totally take anything behind door #3! Woo! Door #3! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:36, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

If door #3 is my kitchen door, then yes. Wait, my kitchen doesn't have a door... hummm... -- sannse (talk) 17:47, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

Let's never mention this again, eh?[edit source]

Original Ninjastar

For helping out with the 5th edition of the PLS and personally reaching into your own finances to fund it because I am an incompetent moron. –EMC

--EMC^[TALK] 20:51, 10 February 2008 (UTC)

Ysy! ninjas! Thanks EMC -- sannse (talk) 11:31, 11 February 2008 (UTC)

Help??[edit source]

Sannse-

After they did the platform upgrade my signature that Some User built for me got screwed up. Can you fix it? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:41, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Fixed it on my own with your help - Hooray for Sannse!!! Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:45, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Yay for changed image paths!.. no... wait... Glad it's ok -- sannse (talk) 17:23, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Whoops! All the signatures are all fucked up again Sannse - yours included as I type this. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:19, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Checkuser[edit source]

Hellair, can you please check: Uncognito (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser versus our old friend NXWave (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser? Thanks! Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:07, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, no results... NXWave hasn't edited for too long now - sannse (talk) 09:02, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

Any other check you can think of? We're considering just leaving the ban on considering both TKF's and my hunch on this one...I'm wondering if that' suffice. As for IRC, I'll probably be on quite late. One thing I didn't manage to perform is moving from the test wiki into any RTL wiki - how do I perform that? Or did you just wanted me to place a text on any page there from right to left and see how it works? Brigadier Sir Mordillo

GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 09:44, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

Also, let's talk about that test you wanted me to perform, when are you on IRC? Brigadier Sir Mordillo

GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:53, 12 February 2008 (UTC)

I'm around until midday today, then back about 4pm until at least 8pm (all UTC). I'll stay logged on, so should hear a ping if you are in :) thanks! -- sannse (talk) 09:02, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

Personally, I tend to just go by current behaviour (on NXWave) although that can backfire if they are "good" for a while and then start being a problem. There's no other check that will help I'm afraid.

On the skin - go to your preferences on community test. Check your language is set as Hebrew. In the skins tab, select one of the new skins (Monaco) as your default. Make sure that "see custom skins" is off. Go to a RTL wiki like http://eincyclopedia.wikia.com/ - and the skin should still be there. Complain about how crap it looks. And that's it! Many thanks -- sannse (talk) 10:34, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

SO YOU ACTUALLY WIN STUFF!!!???[edit source]

Re: Poo lit suprise. Do you really win stuff in the physical sense? :O :D Uncyc is so awesome

I'll give you my address over gmail k?Sir DJ ~ Irreverent

Yep, real physical.... stuff. If I get your address today, I should be posting tomorrow. Woohoo! -- sannse (talk) 08:27, 13 February 2008 (UTC)

Checky checky 5 dollars[edit source]

Hello Mistress! Can I please get a checkyuser of: Uncognito (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. Insignia (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser ? Thanks! ~ 14:13, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

Heyhey. Both accounts are using open proxies. Indications are that it could be the same person, but nothing conclusive. That's all I've got I'm afraid -- sannse (talk) 17:24, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

Forgot to say thank you :) ~

07:57, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

Name change[edit source]

Hi, it's MMACKNIGHT- I want to change my username to Stavrogin- ta very much

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b, and let me know that you have done so and whether you still want the change. Also, is that "Stavrogin-" or "Stavrogin". You only get one change, so please be very careful about what you ask for. Ta. -- sannse (talk) 17:28, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

"Royal Mail". Ooo, classy![edit source]

I just got the PLS package. You're an odd bird. I'm not complaining. Odd birds are the coolest kind of birds. Darwin said so himself. Darwin...now that was an odd bird. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:46, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

\o/ I have a warped sense of humour it's true.... but think of all the supa sekrit messages you can write now!!! Isn't that worth entering the competition for? -- sannse (talk) 09:20, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

My favourite is the planet stickers. They're totally going on my bike! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:40, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Help![edit source]

Sannse- I've worked really hard to keep the Oprah Winfrey Article together and on track. A series of edits and impages made by User:Dr. Simpleton is just cluttering up the article again with animal and science fiction references. Can you do anything to moderate the situation? Can the article get some level of protection for a period to keep it from getting crapped up? I just feel like a lot of hard work - I saved the article from VFD - is going down the toilet. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:40, 21 February 2008 (UTC)

I could semi-protect it, but if he's logged in that won't affect him. Or I could fully protect it, but then you won't be able to edit either. I don't mind doing either for a while... whatever you need -- sannse (talk) 09:54, 21 February 2008 (UTC)

Lets see what happens. I don't care if someone edits it with something that is funny. It just seems like its an easy target for images of animals with Oprah's face slapped onto them, or Oprah's on Jabba the Hut, etc. It would just be nice if someone would put some effort into their edit so they tied into the text that they need to write to match teh image. You know what I'm saying? Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 03:05, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

OK, your call... and yeah, there's a lot out there that think just a basic insult or crudity is funny... and I don't mean those little squares of toast you float on bread. Those are hillarous of course. -- sannse (talk) 08:28, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

Hey, you said exactly what I meant to say, only better. If you semi-protect it, does that make it editable for registered users but not IPs? Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:34, 22 February 2008 (UTC)

Yes, that's right. Very new users also can't edit, to give cool-down time to anons that make an account to make their changes. Older logged in users can edit as normal -- sannse (talk) 11:56, 24 February 2008 (UTC)

Well then it might be a good idea for a while. As I said, changes are good, but illogical additions are not. Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 16:25, 24 February 2008 (UTC)

Done. I've set it for a month, if need be we can look again then -- sannse (talk) 09:47, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Wiki update[edit source]

Hellair, since the latest wikiupdate, one of the JS scripts I'm using (popups.js) isn't working properly and directing to index.php regardlessly...Got any ideas? ~ 11:41, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

I'm afraid I know nothing of js. Your best bet is to grab one of the clever types in #uncyclopedia (no, not there). Mitch_1_2 does javascript, and Olipro is very good at it... if you trust him... If you can't find anyone, I can see if JSharp can have a look - he's the guy on staff who can do this stuff. But as a first step, local help is likely to be much quicker. Sorry I can't help -- sannse (talk) 12:22, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

That's OK :). Also, I don't know if it's connected but the broken and double redirects pages haven't been rechached for a long time now. Something to do with the update? ~

12:25, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Wierdness[edit source]

Hya, Please take a look at what IdoSet (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser and Mikiwiki (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser are doing, they're using a format I don't know and can't edit. Are they're staff? Is this some mysterious wikimedia attempt to take over the world? ~ 15:21, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Update: I got an email from the first guy claiming that he is legit (working for Kultura), but the format is still bizarre and cannot be modified. I banned all involved until i can get a formal answer. And yes, being Israeli makes you paranoid :P ~

15:49, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Hays. I think it's actually a Kaltura attempt to take over the world. There was a forum post about it here, and now they are trying it out. Not necessarily in the best way, that I agree. Unblocking is up to you. Personally - I say: why not? if they are more careful about when, where, and how they add them to articles. I don't see any point in a blank box... start it off with something worth adding to an article first, or experiment in your namespace.

Oops, at least half of that was with my Uncyc admin hat on... Sticking my Wikia staff hat back on - yes, we are working with them to provide this feature as an option. But also, it is an option... so it's up to the community to decide on unbanning and whether the feature should be used here. And yes, being British makes you sit on the fence a lot -- sannse (talk) 17:48, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

I think its a bit worrying that you can't actually delete said articles. Is there a specific reason for this? Also, can they not go and test it somewhere else? -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

Very good question... very good question indeed. It certainly can't stay like that... We are finding out from the Kaltura guys what's going on with that setting. This needs to be deletable of course. -- sannse (talk) 20:25, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

OK, I think we'll hold on with that until we can actually delete the files, I wouldn't want any experiments going on without us having the option to delete it. Also, before we continue this we'll have to get a community approval. At the moment it looks, to say the least, bad. Could you update me when you get some sort of response from them? ~

21:12, 25 February 2008 (UTC)

Hey, Username change?[edit source]

I think I want to change my username to just "UnIdiot" as opposed to "The UnIdiot". Everyone calls me UnIdiot anyway, so I might as well drop the "the". Thanks! - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 18:34, Feb 29

Well best to know if you want to or not... so please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b, and let me know that you have done so and whether you still want the change. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 18:41, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

Meh, I'll just keep it the same. Thanks anyway. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 19:00, Mar 2

Unoriginal header requesting a checkuser (woo, first time!)[edit source]

Could you check The dark knight (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser against Megatronhunky (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser against 203.171.114.72 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)? I've got a theory based on some deleted contributions to the same articles. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:51, Mar 2

No direct IP match, and other indicators suggest different computers. The most I can say is that they are from the same country and, in the case of the two logged in users, looks like the same ISP/city. The other is a different ISP, no city stated. So maybe one guy using more than one computer? Dunno for sure. Sorry -- sannse (talk) 21:10, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

Ok, thanks. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:11, Mar 2

Hello Pesky User Once More[edit source]

Can you please checkuser Nekami (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. insignia (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser and/or vs. Uncognito (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser? Thanks! Also, is it possible to grant checkuser to one or two admins here so we won't need to bother you every time? ~ 14:20, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm afraid Checkuser is restricted to staff for privacy reasons. I've checked these, but they seem to be mostly proxies. Nothing matches between the three users. BTW, you should only ask for these if you need them.... I mean, if they are all vandalising, you don't need to know if they are the same, just block them! :) Unless you need a range block of course, but in this case, no go with that. Sorry. sannse (talk) 20:47, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Thanks! I was asking since I got a sneaky sensation that the first one is another sock of NXWave, and those two are the last known socks of him, and the parent user hasn't been used for a long time now. ~

07:28, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

Wikia-wide autoblock[edit source]

Hey there :) seeing as ywr a wikia staff person I was hoping yew could help with something. My school IP (194.80.20.10) has been autoblocked from all Wikia sites. Unfortunately, this prevents many people (including me) from editing many sites. This therefore hinders various Wikia-wide users but more importantly two Illogicopedia admins. Is there any way yew could revise the autoblock? --_^(sir)Fag!chat|pee|fail|vote! 15:19, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi Fag. I will, if you stop bloody well saying "yew"! Oh OK, I'll help anyway.... I've unblocked the address, but if any silly children start vandalising across Wikia again, then I'll have to reban. K? -- sannse (talk) 20:44, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

BrokenRedirects Broken?[edit source]

Evening (or possibly morning). Sorry to bust in on yew talk page but... Oh. woops.... Better start again...

Sorry to bust in on your talk page, but I wondered if you new what was going on with Special:BrokenRedirects? For me (and I believe others) this page does not not appear to work correctly. I think it happened close to the last time you upgraded the software version. Is this a problem which is known about or maybe I just imagined the whole thing, which is (of course) entirely possible... Thanks. Mr N 23:59, Mar 5

It looks like the job queue has got jammed again... I've asked for it to be kicked, and also talked about monitoring so we see this sort of thing more often. -- sannse (talk) 19:19, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Many thanks for looking into that. It's been like that for a while now as you can see. Hopefully we can get it going soon. I guess there might be quite a lot of redirects to fix when finally it does start working again. Cheers. Mr N

19:45, Mar 6

/me trying not to whine too much... I also just noticed that short pages appears to be stuck too: [2] I guess it's related to the same issue. Hope you guys are able to get to the bottom of this... Thanks. Mr N

02:23, Mar 9

Report a problem-widget[edit source]

Hello again, Sannse. I talked to Carlb about the ProblemReports widget, and I found this. Is it possible to install the report a problem-feature to a non-wikia wiki like Ikkepedia.org? --Trubadurix 14:49, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi, at the moment, this isn't a feature we have released for use outside Wikia. But we do release our features - when we have time - a lot of our social features were released last week for example. So hopefully this will be out there at some point... I just don't know when! The more we hear of people wanting it, the quicker it will get out there (which is why the social tools got released so fast).

of course, you would be welcome to move to Wikia, and then you would have all our features... (hi Carl ;) -- sannse (talk) 19:24, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Um, me again[edit source]

Sorry to be spamming your page of late, and I promise not to mention the broken redirects again... Woops. Grr. Um, SORRY! :-)... Na, seriously, there is a point to me being here (honest)...

I was thinking about making a bot for Uncyc, and wondered if you were aware of any policies about this here? Is it allowed? I have been doing some reading around over at that "Wikipedia" place (whatever that is) and think it's something which could be done here at Uncyc. I would probably use the C# api, and would run it on my own machine using a different user account to my own. I saw the "bot policies" stuff over at wiki, and guess that they would be a good guide to follow. In particular the bit about it running slowly (one edit every 60 seconds or so) to begin with... Anyway, I'm rambling now and I really just wanted to bounce the idea off you before I put too much effort into it. Any comments obviously gratefully appreciated. Mr N 15:11, Mar 9

Hey, from the Wikia side, the policy is: get community agreement, and make sure it's a 'friendly' bot... which includes running at a sensible rate (although one every 60 seconds? Eep! might as well do it manually!). From the Uncyc side, I don't think we have a policy, if we did it would probably be something like: don't annoy anyone, especially the admins. Which sort of sums up all our policies I guess -- sannse (talk) and sannse (talk) 17:34, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

p.s. I've put in a ticket for the stalled job queue, looks like they didn't get to it before the end of the meetings last week, sorry! -- sannse (talk) 17:34, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

Cool. Thank you for your reply. I was thinking of creating a new account for my 'potential' bot and putting some information on its user page about what it could do, and how it might operate. I guess a post in the village dump would be the thing to do afterwards. Obviously I would need to actually be operating two accounts, which I know is not really considered a good thing to do. I guess if I make it very obvious on the user page of the bot what is going on, that would be OK? Mr N

17:44, Mar 10

Yep, bots are generally considered an exception to the 'one account' rule... the key to this is communication, make sure everyone is aware of what you are doing and ~~they will make a big drama out of it anyway~~ they will be fine -- sannse (talk) 18:03, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

Thanks. I will try to be prepared... ;) Mr N

18:07, Mar 10

Oh noes![edit source]

The Kaltura thingy is all broked up! Mine video here is just a line of text now! Will this be my fate soon, as well, too, also?! Forlorn, I am panicked! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 13:05, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

ON NOES! SAVE THE MODUS! ~

19:38, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Is that like saving the whale? Is Modusoperandi a whale?

Modus, sorry about that... I was asked to turn it off. See the Dump for more talk on this -- sannse (talk) 20:16, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Mistress Pussy[edit source]

This user is a Mistress Pussy
of the SISTERHOOD.
Beware her wet tee.

We are trying to build a female user group here at Uncyc, and are awarding all established female Uncyclopedians the title of Mistress Pussy. You are free to use this lovely template on your userpage {{User:Luvvy/Template:UnSisSophia}} from here on to eternity. All praise Sophia! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:19, 11 Mar

Nice! But can I be a Pussy Mistress instead?? -- sannse (talk) 20:30, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

I think we can make an exception ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk)

Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:33, 11 Mar

Yay!! -- sannse (talk) 21:15, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Yay indeed. Now to actually come up with a good mission statement. And no, "keeping the other half of Uncyclopedia hard" isn't what I'd like to see on the pages... Any ideas other than add to the female sense of unity here? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk)

Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:54, 11 Mar

Wait, you mean I have to think? and come up with ideas? I'm not sure I wanna be in this club... -- sannse (talk) 22:07, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

But they haven't asked us to any math or stick anything oogie into our mouths... Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:56, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

To think and to be creative aren't always the same thing, ladies. In fact my best ideas are hatched with 36 hours or more without sleep... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk)

Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 05:49, 12 Mar

in that case, I think I can confidently say "artichoke RAM Morning". -- sannse (talk) 17:01, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

A Request for Her Majesty[edit source]

Your Majesty, I come to you as but a lowly subject, requesting that you bequeath me with a new user name so that I may henceforth be known as "Sir Andrew". I throw myself before Your grace. Amen. --PiOfFive 05:21, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b, and let me know that you have done so and whether you still want the change. And I'm a "Your Worthlessness", not a Majesty. So there -- sannse (talk) 17:02, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Madame Pussy Mistress[edit source]

I CAN HAZ CHECKUZER PLEASE? Dsweetheart08 (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. Kapuso (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser

I THANK TEH MISTRESS ~ 16:59, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Nooooooo... dey is stealin mah checkuser... usual result, no clear match. Same country, but that's about all I can say. -- sannse (talk) 17:48, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

I R FORMALLY ASK WIKIA PERSONNALS TO FIND A BETTER CHECK IZ TOY. TIS ONE IS THE SUCKOS. Also, thanks Mistress, you iz the bestest ~

19:13, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Biometrics. That's the way we need to go. And chips. The in-the-brain type, not the on-the-plate type. "Please join Wikia, a chip will be inserted into your brain when you hit 'save'" -- sannse (talk) 20:17, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Future ☭f tomorrow, today! ~

20:47, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Can you do a checkuser on Ikkepedia.wikia.com on users no:Bruker:Rodelero and no:Bruker:Rørlegger'n? --Trubadurix 21:55, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi, I usually only do these if asked by and admin, and if there is a reason to do so... feel free to get an admin to message me on my talk page there with the details and links to contributions. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 22:31, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Okay, I've left you a message at your user page on Ikkepedia.wikia.com ;) --85.200.59.35 22:53, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Trubadurix has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Thank you for your help, Sannse. I had a feeling it was our old friend and vandalist from Ikkepedia.org. Also, here's a homemade cookie. You have to eat it. --Trubadurix 07:40, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Aww... thanks Trubadurix, I'll ~~hide it behind the sofa~~ eat it later -- sannse (talk) 16:41, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

Um, me again (again)[edit source]

Sorry to interrupt again, but this time you can blame Codeine who thinks that you are the person for me to talk to... I have been working on my bot for a while now, and it's actually starting to work (a little bit), but unfortunately I have a problem. I have been initially testing it at Wikipedia, where I have been able to get it to read, edit and successful save some pages using my Wikipedia account [3]. However, when I try to run it here (using MrN9001) I get an error saying that "Error occurred when saving page "User:MrN9001/Sandbox": Bot operation is not allowed for this account at "http://Uncyclopedia.org" site."... I think this is related to the expression if (respStr.Contains("input name=\"wpCaptchaWord\" id=\"wpCaptchaWord\""))

I'm guessing there is something different in the set-up between Wikipedia and Uncyc regarding bots. I don't have +bot at Wikipedia and it works fine there.

Actually, I'm not sure I want +bot here, as my bot will be doing things which people probably need to see. I asked Codeine about +bot and he said that there was only one setting which he could adjust, so I'm guessing there is something else which needs to be turned on?

I'm using the guide at Wikipedia:Creating_a_bot and have chosen to use this [4] API to help me do it. I could modify the code in the DotNetWikiBot Framework (to make my bot look like a normal user, so it worked) but would rather not as I guess you guys have good reasons for having things as they are here at Uncyc.

Sorry to trouble you with all this, but thought you would be the person to ask, as my code works fine over at Wikipedia, so it appeared not to be worth asking there. It might be that I'm just missing something or doing something stupid with my code, in which case I obviously apologise. If you could help with this I would be really grateful... Thanks. Mr N 22:26, Mar 14

I'm sorry, I have no knowledge of the technical side of setting up bots. If you use IRC, you could try asking in #wikia on freenode, see if there are any bot gurus around. A few people use them on Wikia, but it's not an official thing, so not something I've learnt about. If you decide you do need a bot flag, I can give you that (wtih community agreement) but that's the most I can help with. Sorry -- sannse (talk) 17:18, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Okay cokey... I will see what I can do. If you think of anything obviously please let me know... Thanks. Mr N

23:27, Mar 17

Checky Checky 5 dollah(yes, I'm stealing Mordillo's joke)[edit source]

Could you pretty please check:

Sk8R Grl (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser
LuvMuffin (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser
172.133.0.13 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)

Just to err on the side of caution, I suppose. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:56, Mar 17

Remember though that Sk8R Grl was never banned, and that making a new start isn't always a bad thing... • Spang • ☃ • talk • 03:25, 17 Mar 2008

I know, but I just feel like I'd rather know than not know. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:32, Mar 17

The way Luvmuffin currently writes, it would be better if she would be gone O_O. Also, FU LEDDY for stealing my joke and FU SPANG just for the sake of formality and UNFU SANNSE, I'd never dare to say FU to sannse. Really. ~

07:19, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

That's an AOL IP. So guess my reply... It kinda contains the letters U and F, as they are so popular. If she's a problem, ban her. If she's not, then don't. Whatever. Just don't ask me to check 52 IPs for matches. sannse (talk) 17:30, 17 March 2008 (UTC) (and yes I'm pissy, I feel like hell today... AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT)

Excuse me sannse, would mind checking the first 52 IPs on Ban Patrol? (just kidding, please don't hurt me with your powers! /me cowers) - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:39, Mar 17

I haz powarz?? why didn't anyone tell me? -- sannse (talk) 17:03, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Trouble archiving my talk page[edit source]

I'm trying to archive my talk page, but a "Spam Filter is preventing me from creating the page and saving the text. Any ideas? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:11, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

It should tell you what the problem text is.... probably something like "V1AGRa W1towt PR3scr!PTIOn". You can either remove that before saving, or let me know what it is and I'll check the filter :) -- sannse (talk) 23:16, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Nope - even if I try and just save the page with the words "this page belongs to Prettiestpretty it returns the following message:

Spam protection filter From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. The page you wanted to save was blocked by the spam filter. This is probably caused by a link to an external site. The following text is what triggered our spam filter: prettiestpretty/archive6/ Return to User talk:Prettiestpretty/archive6/. Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Prettiestpretty/archive6/"

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:21, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Ah, it's the title... leave off the last /. It's User talk:Prettiestpretty/archive6 not archive6/]] :) -- sannse (talk) 23:26, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Again, I am not worthy / me bows to the beautiful Sannse / Dame

GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:27, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

/me curtsies to the Prettiest Pretty/ ;) -- sannse (talk) 17:26, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Wikia Search Headaches[edit source]

Hello Sannse!

When I first started out on Uncyclopedia, I tweaked around with different optinal layouts to see which one I liked the best. I picked the "WikiaSearch" layout. Ever since then, I haven't been able to see/use the Uncyclopedia search toolbar, change my time preferences, and my signature preferences. I can't even change my layout, haha. I sent an email to tech help over at WikiaSearch. They essentially said that I should be having no problems with using Uncyclopedia. But apparently I am.

Please forgive me for any inconvenience, Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 15:22, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi, what do you see when you try to change preferences? Can you get to the page at Special:Preferences? If so, you should be able to change the skin there. You want it to be on "Uncyclopedia (default)". Looks like we need to sort out that list, I don't think Wikiasearch should be on there! :-/ -- sannse (talk) 22:32, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

!...It worked! Thank you so much! When I try to change my preferences, it asks me to log in twice consecutively. When I do get the the preferences page, it asks me to save but it doesn't do anything. When I press shift+ctrl+r like it said to do, it still didn't do anything. Regardless, I'm really glad to be back on the uncyc layout. Once again, thank you! Mightydandylion

(talk) Fk 00:38, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

You should probably clear your cookies and cache, that should clear any residual problems :) -- sannse (talk) 00:51, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

User:Sannse/table[edit source]

Please do not add sanguncy.wikia.com. I've contacted the admin of that wiki, and he also consider that wiki is abandoned, too. Also there's nothing. --Peremen 04:25, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Hi, yep, I've removed the Wikia one from the table already :) I saw the previous message -- sannse (talk) 03:33, 23 March 2008 (UTC)

Checkuser please (I'm quickly running out of jokes here[edit source]

Hello Mistress, can you check Sk33Ter (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs both or either of:

Sk8R Grl (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser
LuvMuffin (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser

Even if you can just confirm that that's an AOL user would be enough for me. Thanks! ~ 19:04, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Err, didn't we already do this? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:25, Mar 24

No, that's a new suspected sock. *smack* pay attention! ~

23:49, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

No match. Different ISP and looks like a different computer too. Of course, I say nothing of the person sitting behind the computer, but looks like an unlikely match -- sannse (talk) 10:36, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Allright, thanks! ~

13:03, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Ta for pic[edit source]

Thats just what I was looking for:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:52, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Tag Request[edit source]

Mighty Lord Sannse/Archive, I have a tag-creating request at Forum:New HTML Tag (marquee), if you create it, thank you very much--¶ist 05:00, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

spam spam spam... - sannse (talk) 02:06, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Umm, I mean, that would be a matter for community consensus (or mediawiki changes) -- sannse (talk) 02:06, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

I award you one gold star[edit source]

For your contributions for interesting chat while I'm bored.

"Have a Gold Ninjastar!"

For making IRC more interesting. –Madmikeuk

Hey, call me a creep, I don't care! --oh look, it's Madmikeuk ~ { talk - contrib } 17:00, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Yay! thanks :) -- sannse (talk) 17:16, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Logging in, out, in, out, shake it all about[edit source]

You do the Uncyclopedia and you turn around, that's what it's all about. Hoi! Anyway, Forum:Getting logged out again again - any ideas what's going on? Is it 'we don't want UU day' or something? (10 times this morning and counting...) --81.133.205.172 (That's UU, by the way. And that's 11 times...)

Now I can't even stay logged in long enough to put this page on my watchlist in case of a reply. Hellllppppp! --81.133.205.172 (UU again)

same here, though not so much (DJI by the way) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:54, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm not sure what's happening yet, but the guys are looking into it, I'll let you know when I hear more -- sannse (talk) 20:30, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

I've just realised I wasn't nearly friendly enough with that there request - ignore me, it's been the kind of day to file under "one of those". Anyway, for letting us know what's going on and stuff, cake is forthcoming. Hoorah! --86.13.95.6 21:35, 10 April 2008 (UTC) (UU again from home - I'll be glad when it gets fixed!)

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful.
Eat it quickly before he changes his mind.

Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts,
and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

Yay! Cake! and you were fine :) I certainly appreciate how frustrating it is to have a problem like this on the site! -- sannse (talk) 09:49, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

I Sycamore of this[edit source]

I've read your lecture, and since I've done the method with my privious username (MMACKNIGHT) I would like (if you can/have time) to change my Username to Peyote. Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:02, 22 April 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, User:Peyote already exists.... try again - sannse (talk) 20:54, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

Yet PenisMonkey is available. Go figure. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

Now that you mention it, I do offer hot jungle monkey action:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:04, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

Pretty sweet, no?[edit source]

Othx!

Hey there,

Thanks for voting your friendly janitorial whore in as admin. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to contact Leverage instead. No, seriously, I'm very lazy. But that's a good thing, right?

Love always,

Mantiwhore

Ta[edit source]

Tha - wait for it! - nkyou!

UU wanted to express his thanks for your vote for that military thing he re-wrote.
Unfortunately, he asked several members of this year's winning regiment to deliver those thanks, and as you can see, they're having trouble getting to you. So you'll have to make do with this brown template instead. Cheers!

Thankies (hope your dad liked it!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 19:42, Apr 28

ouch, really[edit source]

YOU BANNED ME? that honestly hurt so bad. really. this is spartanzx4 saying, ouch.

You were bouncing in and out annoyingly, and I've never been a fan of mutes - if you can't talk anyway then there's no point you being there. As I said, come back later -- sannse (talk) 21:05, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

name change[edit source]

Ok, so I'd like my username changed to "Mission Failed" (without the quotes). If you could please do this for me...? --· ♫ · talk · · 20:24, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b first, you changed your name by making a new account already - why not stick with that? -- sannse (talk) 20:28, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Just change your name to Toots then no one will know the difference. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

Only if I can change yours to Mr Snuggly Wuggly at the same time -- sannse (talk) 15:40, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

I blame Tor[edit source]

For the maintenance cache being frozen again (double and broken redirects etc.). It didn't budge since April 21st. Can you blame Tor too? Thanks. ~ 07:48, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

Did you talk with him, because the cache just got updated and there's TONS of them :). Thanks! ~

13:05, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

Well in this case, I talked to Nef... but yeah, they found a problem and it should be OK again. Please let me know if it gets jammed again -- sannse (talk) 13:18, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

"Blame TOR. Trac it to Nef." — Sir Manticore 13:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

Try moving the tech responsibility to the Ukraine, that should be interesting :) ~

13:37, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

I blame For[edit source]

Thank you for voting

You have been awarded majority shareholding in DJ's Worms and Drinkies by way of thanks for voting Pre-Market Economy onto the main page. Just hold on tight, those kids bite...

which is the way you voted! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:43, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3

The Bible Finally Catches a Break

For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker.

"I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party.

"HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does.

Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section.

Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice.

HTBFANJS Most Linked Article

How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!"

Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone."

The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*"

UnSignpost Releases Second Issue

May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here."

Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air.

Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark.

Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment
The editors of the UnSignpost strongly encourage the community to sign up for Uncyclopedia's Folding@Home team. Started in 2005 by rcmurphy, Codeine, Flammable, Paulgb, gwax, Mhaille, Carlb, Naughtyned, DrakeGTA, and RadicalX, the signup page has since gathered more cobwebs than new users. By joining F@H, you will get a free program that uses any extra unused CPU power to perform complicated calculations in the background.

"Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!"

You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

22:23, May 9, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.71.223.144 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't add crap to pages(take that as literally as you want to, btw).)
07:26, May 11, 2008 One-eyed Jack (Talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "Image:PASex.jpg" ‎ (Pineapple-shaped sexual aid. Stoled off the Internets for higher purposes. The end justifies the means, as Stalin said.))
(Huff log); 11:39 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (hacked up "Blood": 102 revisions restored)

Biopic of the Week

Under user ~ By the great Lord Harry, pippings all! Numpty numpty numpty, loo fag wut? Tea time, London, England, Britain! Aluminium, football, dustbins up the dual carriageway, chaps with bad teeth, wot wot? I write long things wit' humoUr! In short, my good numpties: Don't f**k with England. ...even though I'm actually from Idaho.

Crossword of the Week

Across

5. Uncyclopedia is facing a _ _ _ _ _ _ challenging gap.

12. What happens if you mess with Unsignpost's writers.

14. Uncyclopedia is _ _ _ _ ing DOOMED.

19. Dr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the one with the lame techie articles. That other guy is pretty cool, though. Well, the crossword thinks he's cool, anyway.

Answers next week! ...maybe.

Shape of the Week

Octangle ~ After thousands of years of being the forgotten cousin of the triangle, and the bastard child of the rectangle and octagon, the Octangle has made a re-emergence. Appearing 20 (secret) times on the $100 bill, the Octangle is our... shape of the week!

Doomsday of the Week

Monday, around tea time: Uncyclopedia will suddenly shut down due to too many unfunny articles. Users will shake their heads in disgust, pity, anger, sadness, anger, defeat, pity and anger. The last article written will be Grand Theft Auto:Siberia Chuck Norris LOLLLOLOLOLLOO by User:SqueezeMeGently, and the last article featured will be Rough Gay Wolf Sex by User:TheAntiUncyc.

User of the Week, not to be confused with Biopic of the Week:

FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS ~ Although blocked infinitely, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS was a boon to the community. We at User of the Week don't see any actual contributions from FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS because they were blocked infinitely, just in and/or before their prime. Which begs the question: Who is the real monster here? Certainly not FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS. ...Go quietly into the night, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, for we shall never forget ye.

HanSolo's Weapon of the Week:

ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed.

(not recommended for use on admins -ed)

This Week In Uncyc, 1957

Week of May 15th, 1957: Recreated as a warning system for nuclear attacks, the megacomputer Uncyclopedia kept the Ruskies at bay. With its 5 megabyte database and kung fu grip, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

This Week In Uncyc, 1765

Week of May 15th, 1765: The proud warship H.M.S. Uncyclopedia, christened earlier that week, began patrolling the Atlantic for Napolean's fleet. With a crew of 90, a Surface-to-Air missile battery on deck, and the world's first Lolcat, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:01, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Checky Checky[edit source]

Can I get a check on Screwed (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. 74.94.30.217 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser)? Thanks. ~ 17:58, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Yep, that matches one of his IPs -- sannse (talk) 18:44, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks maam. And congrats on the I HAZ A BLOG. I promise to visit and make HAZ COMMENTS. ~

19:28, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Also checky checky[edit source]

If it's not too much trouble, would you please have a look at these guys?

ManEatingBadger (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser
Krushnevya (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser
Doctadoom (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser

Thanks, - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, n y a h !) 22:10, May 20

Gah, complicated

Doctadoom
ManEatingBadger
Psmudge
Krushnevya
IMALWAYSHORNEY
Richardwalter27
Kerplunk41

All share an IP (a couple also use other IPs... maybe home and school?) and there are some timings that match too. But the pattern of edits seem to show people on the same connection (very quick changes, no time to switch accounts). So I would say this is likely to be a shared connection, and there is no way for me to separate out if any are socks rather than people sitting together in a computer lab. Can't help much with this one... sorry -- sannse (talk) 09:45, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Alright, thanks San. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, n y a h !) 10:36, May 21

UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered

Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me."

When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that.

"If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!"

"First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1.

The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments!

Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit

At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories.

The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!"

Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!"

Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback".

Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered
Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery.

Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! )
19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag)
12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban)

Biopic of the Week

Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?!

Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week:

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???"

Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week:

8. Not enough users leaving.

Horrifying Disease of the Week:

The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much.

Retraction of the Week:

We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!!

Letter of the Week:

This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate".

Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week:

73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:16, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site

According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior."

Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Fur wiki, the most disturbing wiki.

Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters!

...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!!

Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show

After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form.

"Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper.

According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom.

As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press.

Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek

Letters to the Editor
I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us.

I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind.

He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest.

Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent

Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!)
23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA)
08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F)

Biopic of the Week

<insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}!

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:

Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!)

Unsignpost Founder of the Week:

...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you.

Animal of the Week:

Stoa t ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways.

Template of the Week:

The bad lyric generator ~

Bend up and smell my anal vapor
Your face will be my toilet paper - The Mentors

Last Minute Box of the Week:

First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking:

Pole Dancer of the Week:

Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:00, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Tag Fix[edit source]

Mighty Lord Sannse/Archive, awwww, how come the <tabview> tag does'nt work? Why?--¶ist 19:22, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

locked out[edit source]

Hi there, i joined about a month ago and ive lost my password. I must have messed up my registration because im not getting my password emailed to me. I would just rejoin except ive submitted a few bits of work in the last month and id like to keep my username . ive been pointed in your direction to see if i can get it sorted out :) username Vitaloverdose email vitaloverdose@yahoo.com. thanks--84.45.226.149 02:00, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

PLS bling[edit source]

The next PLS is within a little over a month. Just wondering if Wikia will be sponsoring this time. --EMC^[TALK] 17:55, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

That's a definite maybe :) I'll find out -- sannse (talk) 11:30, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Star[edit source]

Under-used Ninjastar

I award you an under-used Ninjastar. Rust may have dulled its cutting edge, but it is still a potent symbol. Yes. – UU.

Thanks Sannse. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:26, Jun 4

Yay! thanks for that! -- sannse (talk) 11:30, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the ~~Police~~ UnSignpost!

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers

For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably.

Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down.

Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death.

The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost...

/me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff]

Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek

by ThePaleOne

It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!]

I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too!

I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided.

Random Mumblings: "Monster"

By Zombiebaron

Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages!

Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want.
Voatse.cx
User:Under user/SparkGallery
The Uncyclopedia Genome Project

From our logs:

12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON)
01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?)
06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!)
18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!)
19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!)
19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!)

May "Of the Month" Award Winners

Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE!
Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim.
Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his~~/her~~ day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit!
Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned!

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:

"ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy!

MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week:

Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:18, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Young Master Cajek[edit source]

I have spoken with a deeply sorry Cajek and have agreed to reduce his sentence in the knowledge that should there be any future misdemenour then the full force of the law shall be met upon him. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

Fair enough. Hopefully it's point made... with my pointiest of pointy sticks -- sannse (talk) 10:05, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Undelete image request[edit source]

Can you undelete , and ? Template:Loadingbar is using it. • n y p 06:34, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Done, done, and also - done. I've labelled them to prevent future deletes too -- sannse (talk) 07:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Can you also undelete and ? Those images are used by article UnWeather... • n y p 10:08, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Tick is done, cross doesn't have a version in history for the actual file, but it was deleted for being a duplicate anyway, maybe the other one is still around? If not, there are plenty that would work to upload... just remember to add the notorphan template if it's used in a way that doesn't show on the image page. Ta -- sannse (talk) 16:36, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

It LIVES!!![edit source]

Well.....here it is! Feel free to augment to help polish it up nicely. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

Yay! the Mhaille is back! -- sannse (talk) 21:57, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

New wikia style[edit source]

Ahoy Sannse,

we at German Uncyclopedia are somewhat alarmed about the new style announced by Wikia. From your forum entry Forum:Message from Wikia I conclude that Uncyclopedia (including the other language versions?) will not in any way be affected by those changes. Did I get that right? Or is it just what we all hope?

Thanks, NaturalBornKieler 12:12, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Addendum: Our admin has confirmed that the changes will not affect us right now. Therefore, feel free to ignore my question. Cheers. NaturalBornKieler 16:25, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Yep, all confirmed :) sannse (talk) 21:59, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

This is a test![edit source]

24 Please see your message on Skype. --Charitwo^Talk 03:46, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

'Lo Sannse[edit source]

So yeah, what are the chances of you adding an official but still approachable Wikia presence to this? I mean, I guess I could reproduce one from the pics of you lying around the site, but that's not the point - I'm respectfully requesting a Sannse-original-self-South-Park-portrait! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:23, Jun 12

Heh, sure... I'll have a play later -- sannse (talk) 12:34, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Thanks[edit source]

(Huff log); 12:19 . . Sannse (Talk | contribs) (huffed "User:Fou-Lu/Cunt of the Munth": No. Just... no.)

Apparently QVFD does not always work as it should. Mr N 12:25, Jun 12

Could you at least undelete User:Fou-Lu/Cunt of the Munth/Award? I would like to have that. Fou-Lu 15:58, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

No, I don't see any good reason to give such an award to anyone. And no good reason for it to exist otherwise. Frankly, I consider it the template version of goatse -- sannse (talk) 21:18, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

I don't plan on giving out the award, I just want the code for something else. Fou-Lu 01:14, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Here you go then User:Fou-Lu/Undeleted_award -- sannse (talk) 10:56, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Lol, thank you! Fou-Lu 13:41, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job

by Qua

Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But ~~don't~~ worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned.

Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment."

Flumpa "taking toys and going home".

by lots of different people

It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar.

One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies."

127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow.

Internet safety month has begun.

By Dr. Skullthumper

We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content DOG SHIT Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China.

We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall.

This column has been blocked by Websense.
Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor".

Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples

By TheLedBalloon

Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute?

Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here.

However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs.

However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need:

Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter.

Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right.

English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD.

Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A.

Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh.

Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A.

Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN!

Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now.

NONSENSE CATASTOPHE

by Cajek

An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives.

"Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?"

"Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles.

Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.]

Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..."

The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are.

Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.))
15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence)
13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.)
12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN)
03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!)
20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?)
05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.))

Biopic of the Week

127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!!

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:

"Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A ~~small template~~ glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page.

Page Quote of the Week:

Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission

Best New Article of the Week:

That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course.

Article of the week:

That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:57, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Sandwich paper[edit source]

[14:24] <LordKaT> i believe I can pee fire.

[14:24] <LordKaT> I shall test this theory out on my neighbors cat.

[14:24] <LordKaT> brb

[14:25] <@Miel> freak.

[14:36] <LordKaT> I cannot pee fire.

[14:36] <LordKaT> but I did learn that cats do not enjoy having their coat being urinated on

[14:37] <LordKaT> I also believe they dislike the taste of urine as the cat was very hesitant to clean itself and instead chose to brush up against a bush.

[14:37] <LordKaT> SCIENCE!

/me pats LordKaT ... from a safe distance. -- sannse (talk) 19:35, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Congrats![edit source]

Operation: Horizon - Engaged

All bad edits shall not pass under Operation: Horizon.
You have helped in Operation: Horizon - Admiral Enzo Aquarius sends his thanks. Long live the Horizon!

- Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 23:04, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Yay! thank you! - sannse (talk) 10:57, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Think I'll have to steal more of your ideas in future....[edit source]

:) -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

Yay! guess I'd better have more ideas in future then -- sannse (talk) 10:38, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

It would be awesome[edit source]

If we could get the Gadgets extension. It would be totally useful to make it easier to get the useful JS and CSS stuff available to people. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:22, 20 Jun 2008

I've gotta say it... do you really think it's reasonable to be constantly sniping at Wikia, and then asking us for shiny new toys? -- sannse (talk) 21:03, 20 June 2008 (UTC) (oops, sorry for that missed sig)

Absolutely. I can give suggestions on how to not make uncyclopedia worse (through the use of extreme sarcasm), and also give suggestions on how to make it better. I'm sure both wikia and I would love it if I didn't have to ask it to install extensions, but it is the way it is. Perhaps the key is to love wikia first, and then it'll think about doing what you want? Who knows. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 00:04, 21 Jun 2008

I don't ask that you love Wikia, I don't even ask that you like Wikia. But it would be nice if you occasionally acknowledged that the relationship between Uncyc and Wikia requires some give and take. -- sannse (talk) 07:48, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

(staff hat on). I've asked the tech guys to look at the extension -- sannse (talk) 07:48, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Hea Sannse. For what it's worth, I personally do acknowledge the give and take issue, and I think that most of the Uncyc users who were not born yesterday do also. Spang very much included. For the most part, I think that Wika do a great job, and I know that we are all very fortunate to have someone like Sannse as our contact into Wikia.

You talked about "sniping at Wikia" above when you were also talking about "give and take"... Perhaps some of the frustration which Wikia witnesses from Uncyc users comes from the fact that we do not appear to know just how much give and take is actually currently involved. We know that Wikia needs to make money to pay the bills associated with hosting Uncyc. Perhaps if we knew how much those bills were were, compared to how much money Wika makes from us we would understand better. Currently, we are left in the dark with Wika controlling all the information. I wonder if it might be possible for Wika to (somehow) provide this information allowing Uncyc users to better understand the financial issues involved. I'm sure that if we knew just how much money Wika makes from us, and what we cost to them we would all feel a lot more happy. :-) Can this be done? Mr N

11:40, Jun 21

For the record, I think that'd be nice too, but I don't think it's that simple. Keep in mind that I know nothing about business(and I do mean nothing), but I get the feeling that it's way more complicated than a simple 'cost vs. earnings' thing, what with taxes and ads and who-clicks-what and users coming and going and all. Besides, neither cost nor earnings is important as SAVINGS! - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, n y a h !) 17:09, Jun 21

Generally, TLB is right. But in Uncyclopedia's case, part of it is easy. Wikia currently has no income from Uncyc. I mean, have you actually counted the ads? ;) There is currently only one internal ad per page. So we should get a few clicks to visit other wikis (which have ads) but nothing that actually gives an income. I can't give figures for costs, but I think it's fair to say that keeping a wiki of this size going is not cheap. After all, running costs were part of the reason for the original move to Wikia. So at the moment, it's pretty much all take on Uncyc's side - Wikia gets those clicks, and the prestige of hosting Uncyc. As I've said elsewhere, I don't believe this can continue forever, and I think change will be necessary. But there have been no decisions on that so far, right now we are way too busy with the other 5999 wikis (or however many it is right now) -- sannse (talk) 09:14, 22 June 2008 (UTC)

If it turns out that "change" is in fact necessary, I hope Wikia would try a non-ad route first. I know fundraisers suck, but I don't doubt that some Uncyclopedians would be willing to pony up a little cash to keep the wiki alive rather than have ads plastered over it. And no matter how low Wikia may fall in some Uncyclopedians' eyes, we will always love our own little Sannse. —rc (t) 18:50, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators!

by UU

Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news.

Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it?

Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all.

by ~~DJ Irreverent~~ UU

Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming.

It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans.

N00b ties knot

by UU

Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time.

UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler

by UU

In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left)
21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE])
09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy)
04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?)
01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.)
17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.)

Biopic of the Week

Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron.

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:

"I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though.

~~MrN~~ UU's delete reason of the week:

The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:02, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Wanna see a kewl video??[edit source]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU :D:D:D:D:D:D:D AwesomeGuy 18:34, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Too slow, I've already seen it -- sannse (talk) 18:35, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Me likes your blog[edit source]

---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 17:03, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

As long as you're both in the same place, can you reply to sannse's email - Rataube? ~

18:01, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Yay blogs! I'm glad you enjoyed -- sannse (talk) 18:34, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9

Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy!

By Qua

Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia ~~Cabal~~ (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you.

Penis Man returns!

By THEDUDEMAN

At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned.

Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki

By Qua

In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days.

Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins

By Cajek and whoever else

Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud?

"I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine.

Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! )
20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (No means *no*)
06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Oh for fuck's sake)
05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars)
03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. )
12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...)
07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.)
08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?)
18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.)

Gripe of the Week

MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore!

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Russian Adolf Hitler and the Crappy Translation

Quote of the Week:

"Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:43, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

I hate to do this but...[edit source]

Would you check user (or whatever it's called} Ggarfield and YesTimeToEdit? I have suspicions about each of them due to YTTE being nommed UotM by Qua & B4tm4n, along with another vote from a vandal, and Improver's last contrib was April 27. At the time, Ggarfield hadn't edited since January. A few days later, he started contributing a bit. Well, here's the rest of what RAHB said (minus unimportant stuff):

<RAHB>	and then
<RAHB>	11th of May, Qua gets account
<RAHB>	Ggarfield disappears again
<RAHB>	last contrib, 23 June
<RAHB>	Garfield starts contributing again June 25
<RAHB>	and Uncognito was active during the initial february absence of Garfield
<RAHB>	that could all be coincidence, but my initial suspicion calls for a check when combined
<RAHB>	and Garfield did immediately come into Uncyclopedia and create a useless group that he was basically the leader of
<RAHB>	he did obsess over NotM his month
<RAHB>	and who did he lose to?
<RAHB>	AE
<Dexter111344>	Well it all fits!
<RAHB>	it sure does
<Dexter111344>	I hope we're wrong, though.
<RAHB>	Dex: look at Garfield's most recent talk message
<RAHB>	then look at ban patrol
<RAHB>	I don't like this one bit
<RAHB>	Ggarfield also sucks at writing articles
<RAHB>	Ggarfield anyways, if you have suspicions about Yettie, then by all means ask
<RAHB>	Ggarfield has been self-nomming recently too
<RAHB>	nomming shitty things

I hate this but, after finding out TaylorKarras was NXWave, everything about these users is very odd. How they manage to know so much about wiki's, them being obsessed with awards, etc. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:31, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Here's a less segmented, cleaned up version of what Dex said:

Improver's last contrib was April 27. At the time, Ggarfield hadn't edited since January. A few days later, he started contributing a bit. Then on the 11th of May, Qua gets an account, and Ggarfield disappears again. Qua's last contrib is 23 June. Garfield starts contributing again June 25. Uncognito was also active during the initial february absence of Garfield. And Garfield did immediately come into Uncyclopedia and create a useless group that he was basically the leader of in the beginning. He also obsessed over NotM his month. And who did he lose to?: AE. The guy NXWave drove off. Since he's been back, Garfield's harrased Sonic80 about something stupid and been self-nomming shitty things (he also, like NXWave, sucks at writing).

All looks pretty fishy to me. -RA HB 06:41, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

No matches on checkuser for those accounts. -- sannse (talk) 10:36, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Sannse. Guess we were wrong. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:06, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Gents, for future reference you should really talk with one of us off the record, via email or on IRC. These kind of discussions rise all sorts of drama without a need. Plus, were your suspicions correct, this post will alert the sock to the fact that he was discovered. Let's not start suspecting each and every one on this site. Also, Sannse, can you run a checkuser on RHAB and on yourself as well? Thanks. ~

20:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Don't blame me, blame Dex. IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT! DEXTER IS NXWAVE! OMG! CHECK HIM! CHECK HIM! BAN! BAN BAN BAN!!! -RA HB 03:27, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, not my fault. RAHB should've know. And check RAHB, as he is a big MEANIE POOPY PANTS!!! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:31, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

Confirmed: RAHB is a sock of me. Or I am a sock of RAHB. One or the other -- sannse (talk) 08:52, 2 July 2008 (UTC)

YTTE?! NO WAY COULD HE BE A... YTTE is YTTE (or Yettie on occasion). Just NXWave being obsessed with another good user. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent

09:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Hellair[edit source]

I can haz checkuzer on: Sicilianman (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. Italianman (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser? Thankies. ~ 09:18, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Clear match. Also User:Satan. and User:Evilenman. Ping me if you need the IP to block -- sannse (talk) 09:54, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Yes please, I'm going to sort this genlemen out. Thanks. ~

14:31, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

76.15.56.253 - looks like it's blocked though -- sannse (talk) 18:55, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Got him. Mucho gracias! ~

23:41, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for vote[edit source]

Thanks for the vote
David Bowie

One magic movement from Kether to Malkuth

Thanks there, you're a special lady--Sycamore (Talk) 11:08, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

Awww. thanks Sycamore -- sannse (talk) 11:28, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon!

By DJ Irreverent

Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste.

Successes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article
Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious
Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods

There's more you can do...

Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of ~~respected~~ ~~member~~ 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7.

Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help.

Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella

Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now.

Modusoperandi OP'ed!?

By: THEDUDEMAN

This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM.

UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak

By: UU

Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎
19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.)
22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis))
(Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
(Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name)
(Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal)
(Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off)
10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!)

Biopic of the Week

MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!)

Quote of the Week

<Codeine> here's a thought
<Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry
<Codeine> but
<Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry
<Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS
<Ljlego> moral of the story:
<Ljlego> childporn is the way to go
<zombieninja> XD
<Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead

Crappy deleted Stub of the Week

"this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate

Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special)

"You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon!

By DJ Irreverent

Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste.

Successes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article
Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious
Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods

There's more you can do...

Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of ~~respected~~ ~~member~~ 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7.

Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help.

Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella

Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now.

Modusoperandi OP'ed!?

By: THEDUDEMAN

This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM.

UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak

By: UU

Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎
19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.)
22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis))
(Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
(Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name)
(Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal)
(Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off)
10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!)

Biopic of the Week

MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!)

Quote of the Week

<Codeine> here's a thought
<Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry
<Codeine> but
<Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry
<Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS
<Ljlego> moral of the story:
<Ljlego> childporn is the way to go
<zombieninja> XD
<Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead

Crappy deleted Stub of the Week

"this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate

Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special)

"You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

hi sannse i'm syndrome[edit source]

Okay, I was thinking about taking this issue to the Village Dump, but since it's more Wikia-related I figured I'd pester you with it instead. I was looking at my Special:Editcount when I noticed a disturbance in the force: It was listing my count on "all wikis" as well as on Uncyclopedia. My "all wikis" count was significantly lower, too. I would assume that this reflects the activities of the other Syndrome (since I'm not even registered as Syndrome on Wikia), and if that's true, apparently he hasn't made a userpage and he really likes templates. But then I looked at your editcount and the "all wikis" column was all zeros. Wtf, rite? What is this mysterious "all wikis" count and why do I even care? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 17:51, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

Hi Syndrome, sorry for the slow reply - I lost this one. The problem is that the user databases are completely separate. So the ID numbers don't match. User 321 on Uncyclopedia could have any name on Wikia.. but the edit count tries to match them up. So I'm user 968 here.. and instead of showing user 8 (me on Wikia) you see the results for user 968 on Wikia (who has never edited)

So the solution? Merge the damn databases! *sigh*. Until then, it's best ignored. -- sannse (talk) 18:30, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

Weird VFH stuff[edit source]

So hi Sannse, hope things are treating you well and the like. Now about this here VFH - odd things are happening. Pages are appearing on it and VFHS even after they've been closed, and new noms aren't showing up. But just to be more confusing, this happens some times and not others. Spang said he thought it could be something to do with different DPL servers and cacheing and so forth, but I get lost when he says the more technical stuff. Does it mean owt to you, and if so, is there anything you can hit with a big spanner to get it working again? --UU - natter 13:41, Jul 17

I think this stopped when we talked about it on IRC? there was some lag around, or were some lag around? or something? -- sannse (talk) 18:31, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

I... R... C... I've heard of that. It seems a strange and forbidding place. Also, very strangely it's often blocked from my office, but not always. Go figure. Anyway it does seem to be fine now, so I'll potter off. Tatty byes! --UU - natter

19:46, Jul 18

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

July 17^th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • This issue isn't late, your calendar is fast.

It's The Poo Lit. Surprised?

By UU

Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace.

Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something.

This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it.

At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them.

VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running

By UU

In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal.

The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites.

Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently.
MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants.
Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...)
Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way.
RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way!

Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.173.54.200 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is a penis, this is you)
18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 156.34.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world )
23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (IN them?)
08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.73.10.118 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital)

Biopic of the Week

Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatest articles ever composed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children?

Comeback of the Week

Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers?

Plea of the Week

Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:07, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father prepare to...checkuser[edit source]

60.242.98.188 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Block (rem-lst-all) • Whois • City • Proxy? • WP Edits • Checkuser) vs. Evanrm (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser. Thank youuuuu! ~ 08:25, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

yah, match. And I only have five fingers per hand. -- sannse (talk) 09:31, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

You're safe then. Thanks! ~

11:05, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

Please change my name[edit source]

You're a staff, who can change usernames right? Can you please rename me as Edmundwoods? Thank you very much, your majesty! :-P --Edmund the King of the Woods! 13:57, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b. If you still want to go ahead, let me know and I'll flip the switch. -- sannse (talk) 09:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

July 24^th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?

Count to a million

By Gerrycheevers

This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro.

The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project.

Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist."

Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream...

Cheevers Fires Back!

By An unbiased journalist

After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears.

When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!"

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

23:16, 19 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.254.51.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wow! I was gonna go the rest of my life hating Metallica, but you've opened my eyes to their true greatness! You, sir, are an hero! An hero!)
23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend)
21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" ‎ (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT))

Biopic of the Week

Sycamore ~ One of Uncyc's noteworthy Caledonian correspondents, Sycamore claims his prowess at writing stems from a hearty diet of haggis, neeps and tatties, washed down wi' a whisky, a can of Irn-Bru, and a gratuitous stereotype. He's managed to stay sober long enough to write quality articles on Battleship Potemkin, David Bowie and Tony Visconti, and doubtless celebrated in true Scottish fashion - with a couple of cans of Tennent's and a fight!

Page of the Week (straight version)

User:Optimuschris/Super Secret Girlie Page! - no explanation needed.

Page of the Week (gay version)

User:Orian57/Under my matress - the yin to OptyC's yang. So to speak. You have been warned.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March. 19) - The position of Mars renders you the likely victim of pirate attacks this week. Carefully guard any grog, wenches, and booty you may have accumulated.

see more horoscopes

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Italian Linux and the Crappy Translation

Really Old Image Request of the Week

For an UnTune. Seriously, this one has been around for ages, and no-one seems to be able to sort it out. Any takers? A certain psychotic frog will doubtless shower any helpful soul with gratitude. Or a template. Or something.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:45, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Revert request on Vagina[edit source]

Could you revert back to this edition of the article which has the picture in it? That was the stable version of the article. thanks! --Allahgator 21:53, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

It's hardly stable if it's changed umpteen times a day is it?... I changed back to that version to make a point... don't bite the newbies, and don't edit war (OK, two points).

Sure, it takes two to edit war (or three in this case) but how about talking to the newbie instead? After all, he was at least making an effort to communicate. The image didn't strike me as that funny anyway - it's no loss. -- sannse (talk) 07:59, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Ha. Bad decision really. I wanted the reverts to stay in the page history to show how offensive that image is and what extents people will go to have it removed. If an image is that important, it should stay on the page, one would think, right? I could easily have made the protection request. It was me who made the protection request before for anonymous edits on that same article and was actually waiting for someone to notice and do the right thing and what do you know! They did the wrong thing. The image is funny, no question about it. It offends people, thats the point and its funny. Now I will see some completely unnecessary opposition to something which is entirely valid. Thats just the way it happens. About half of the people decide to pick the wrong side of the fence just for the sake of it. You're just mad because I was edit warring, and you decided to revert to the wrong version for that reason. I'll let you cool down a little bit and deal with this later. --Allahgator 12:11, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I thought you had an agenda other than teh funneh. Maybe best to try another site dear. -- sannse (talk) 20:07, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Put it back!! Put the 10 commandments back!! Arhhh. --Allahgator 21:50, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

The "E-mail this user" thing is broken. It says "You must be logged in and have a valid e-mail address in your preferences to send e-mail to other users." even if I'm logged in and have a valid e-mail address in my prefs[edit source]

Oh. I should've saved some of that for here. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:46, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

hummmm... works for me... can you check the email address is actually confirmed in your preferences? On the "user profile" tab, scroll down to the email options, and see whether they have a "Confirm your e-mail address" link on the second line. If it's not that, they I suspect it's a problem with Uncyclopedia's SEPARATE USER DATABASE. In which case I'll have to get the techys on it -- sannse (talk) 20:43, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

Ah...um...(/me shuffles feet). That E-mail section should be up with the other e-mail bits. Apart, they're lonely. Together, they could rule the world! Moo ha-ha! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:58, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

NotM[edit source]

Can you please check-user Mrmonkey72 for NXWavitude? Just as a precaution, makes it easier than doing it once he wins and causing a bigger fuss. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 08:44, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

Looks fine, I can't see any problems there -- sannse (talk) 20:52, 27 July 2008 (UTC)

Thank you --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent

10:32, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Sorry to bother you[edit source]

It seems there's been quite a deal of misunderstanding, or at least a general ruckus, over one of our newer users, 4096.256.16.1, also known as "Hex". We were in IRC earlier today and, apparently in an innocent attempt at humor, he signed off and rejoined the chat with the nick "NXWave". This was immediately taken out of context by a lot of people around, and they eventually compared hostmasks and found that the nicknames of the two were from the same person. This led to Hex being banned by TheLedBalloon for being an NXWave sockpuppet. I can't guarantee that Hex is not a sockpuppet, but from what he tells me now, and from my experience talking to him over the past month or so, I don't believe he is, and neither do many of those who initially accused him. However, as with most suspicions of NXWave sockpuppetry, I'd like to request a checkuser to be sure, and a subsequent unbanning if he does not in fact match up. Thank you for your time, we all appreciate it dearly :) -RA HB 08:09, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Well... there is no direct match between this user and any others, according to checkuser. I have to admit, that my sannse-senses are tingling a little, because for some reason it appears I have checked some of his range in the past. However, nothing comes up, so I have to assume it was some time ago (although, then the links shouldn't still show as visited). So all in all, I would say that we should assume this is a new user, until or unless something else comes up. Personally, I think the only solution is biometrics, but for some reason Wikia just won't go for it :( -- sannse (talk) 09:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks Sannse. Is it possible to tell if this user is on a proxy? Mr N

11:08, Jul 28

Also if we could unban him, that would be great. I'm sure he'd appreciate it when he wakes up in the morning :) -RA HB 11:11, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

MrN9000: it's a proxy in the OK sense... he uses an ISP that uses a dynamic IP system. It's not an open proxy (or extremely unlikely to be so - I never say never (except just then (twice)))

RAHB: I would prefer you ask the blocking admin to do this. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 09:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Tag Fix[edit source]

Mighty Lord Sannse/Archive, awwww, how come the <tabview> tag does'nt work? Why?--¶ist 19:29, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Doesn't work how and where? -- sannse (talk) 09:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet

By Gerrycheevers

Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration.

While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article.

Virus exposes user vulnerability to death

By Regret Tenenbaum

Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following:

a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles
The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch.
Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain)
loss of sexual activity
sexual withdrawal
build-up of fluid in the scrotum
a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin
an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis
blood in semen
General weak and tired feeling
The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum.
Other nasty stuff.

Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.)

The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any.

Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him.

Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.)
17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember)
02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!)
14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!)
21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France)

Biopic of the Week

The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage...

Old-school featured article of the week

Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining.

This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary.

see more horoscopes

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation.

Quotes of the Week

<DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist

<AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:55, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Please change my name (cont'd)[edit source]

You're a staff, who can change usernames right? Can you please rename me as Edmundwoods? Thank you very much, your majesty! :-P --Edmund the King of the Woods! 13:57, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Please read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b. If you still want to go ahead, let me know and I'll flip the switch. -- sannse (talk) 09:46, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Actually long time ago I've made a rename request to another name but you've refused unless I ask again nicely. So I've read the lecture and I'm sure, because I've been using this name "Edmundwoods" in the Wikimedia Projects since December of last year (wow, 8 months! That's the womb time of a prematured baby!) and I like this username. Sorry for late reply because I've been busy helping the Malay Uncyclopedia to fight the Malay Wikipedia :-P --Edmund the King of the Woods! 04:57, 9 August 2008 (UTC)

Ha! Well that counts as nicely, although I didn't need the "your majesty" bit. Your name has been changed. Enjoy! -- sannse (talk) 21:48, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Cockroaches[edit source]

I remember you saying somewhere that you wanted a picture of those cockroach things you found in the bargain bin. So here it is. I played with mine too much and the spring came off, but the rest is intact. -- cheap Ape (titivate) (Riot Porn) 21:30, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Well, rest assured, during a nuclear war, that cockroach will survive. ^_^ -

Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate

21:45, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Yay! wonderful! This was a grat find... although I think the next batch of prizes will be equally apreciated... or something -- sannse (talk) 21:49, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

August 7^th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!

Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet

By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet.

According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit."

Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales.

Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!"

Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet."

Admins everywhere!

By Gerrycheevers

If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome".

The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch".

The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

01:57, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Okay, that's enough Uncyclopedia. Bye.)
02:05, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) unblocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) ‎ (ARGH NOOOO I CAN'T ESCAPE)
20:14, 3 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 minutes ‎ (Admins do not abuse their powers. On the contrary, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia)
14:21, 6 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) huffed "EQ" ‎ (Thanks for the Psychology course refresher. Don't worry, I paid attention in that class, I don't really need it.)
15:54, 7 August 2008, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.106.53.68 (Talk) (expires 15:54, 8 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (I don't know what the Somali is for "Don't do that". But don't do that.)

Biopic of the Week

SysRq ~ Not just a button on your keyboard anymore (well, half a button, really), SysRq has become quite the Uncyclopedian in his time here. Spending his time writing awesome stuff, utilizing his platinum urinal, and coming up with stuff on the fly, he has earned a spot among the elite that Uncyc has to offer. (And this seems to be a bit of a recurring theme, but again, don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage.)

Old-school featured article of the week

Check out Battle of Gettysburg, a harrowing documentary of one of the bloodiest battles in the American Civil War, and one man's fight to get through it.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Gemini (May 21 - June 21) - Help! I am being held hostage in the horoscope editing room!

see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Painstakingly hand-delivered by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:35, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Checky McUserPlease?[edit source]

Hey sannse, could you please run a checkuser on this fella? Apparently, he's a sockpuppet of someone, and we're all dying to find out who. The suspense is killing us! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:18, Aug 13

I can't! If I do I will be cursed!!! I'm sorry, but I'm not risking that for anyone, even Uncyclopedia -- sannse (talk) 09:45, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

But in a way, aren't we cursed already? --AAA! (AAAA) 16:04, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

Well sure, but you wanna make that WORSE!! -- sannse (talk) 18:03, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

I might have to think about that one... er... Mr N

18:12, Aug 13

Where's my money?!?!?![edit source]

Well someone had to ask it. PLS prize money... paypal?

ShuaDaddy 1:50 a.m.

Yeah, like say... the organizers :P Sorry! didn't realise it was judged already! So... I'd rather send ya the cold hard cash. All I need is your postal details. Please can you send them to community@wikia.com (obviously we will keep this info confidential, only (some) Wikia staff have access to that email). Thanks, and congratulations! -- sannse (talk) 08:36, 15 August 2008 (UTC)

I'll send you an email also! - UnIdiot |

| Talk | Contribs - 18:52, Aug 15

~Me too! -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 10:09, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey! Sorry I took so long to get back to you, I was on vacation... hope you're having fun on yours! community@wikia.com has been sent my address. Thanks! User:ShuaDaddy/sig

UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

August 14^th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor

Uncyclopedia kidnapped!

By Gerrycheevers

In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return.

Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back.

This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him.

Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do."

Some sort of competition finishes

By UU

So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics.

Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that?

We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

13:06, 8 August 2008, Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 60.54.79.28 (Talk) (expires 13:06, 9 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (Blanker: You disappoint Vishnu.)
19:45, 11 August 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.)
19:51, 11 August 2008, Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.40.99.2 (Talk) (expires 19:51, 11 November 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (blanking is the lowest form of wit. Even lower than Steve Martin.)

Biopic of the Week

RadicalX ~ Since the dawn of Uncyclopedia, users have had the need for images. And RadX, himself created with Adobe Photoshop, has obliged. Even a quick look at his image gallery should cause you to drop to your knees and weep. He also is an extremely talented writer, and spends his time spreading the light of The Church of T with his prophet, Bradaphraser.

Old-school featured article of the week
Ever been knocked in the nards so badly that you saw stars, but never figured out who the culprit was? Well, it was probably midget cockpunching terrorists. These cheeky buggers have been assaulting the most sensitive area of such well-known figures as Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan for decades.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week you should be self-centered in all your endeavors, except for grenade-tossing practice.

see more horoscopes

Shamless space-filler of the week

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:00, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Forgotten Password[edit source]

Hi Sannse; User:Vitaloverdose has forgoten his password and cannot email himself his password. He left a message on my talk page with an email : Vitaloverdose@yahoo.com - I thought that you may know what to do, failing hat I could suggest just createing another account? Thanks:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 09:12, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

Hi, I can't actually look up his account because (guess what) of Uncyclopedia's SEPARATE USER DATABASE. So I'll have to get techy help on Monday to see if there is a tyop in the address or something. Or, he can do that creating a new account thing - that's going to be necessary if he didn't put an email address in, and if he doesn't mind doing that it would certainly be easier -- sannse (talk) sannse (talk)

Cool, thanks there:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:51, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

August 21^st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk

And the award for Sluttiest User goes to...

By Gerrycheevers

...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!"

Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace.

UnSignpost gets new paper-boy

by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself.

The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee.

The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said.

Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian.

In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

16:52, 17 August 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.212.136.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You are now officially really hated on Uncyclopedia. Congratulations.)
21:30, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.220.124.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month, 2 days, 3 hours, 4 minutes, 5 seconds ‎ (Blanking a featured article? No mercy.)
06:19, 16 August 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.72.7.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Go and write some bad poetry or something)
10:51, 20 August 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Nmeallin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (We regret to inform you that Chuck Norris does not approve of page blanking.)

Biopic of the Week

RAHB ~ One of the most (if not the most) decorated Uncyclopedians ever, RAHB is one of those guys who seems to be everywhere. Whether it's writing awesome stuff, taking care of crap, or banging out narrations, you can always count on this guy to be lurking somewhere in the bowels of Uncyclopedia, toiling away at his next project.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Being grateful this week could result in improved relationships. Being grating this week could result in cheese fragments that will melt easily over nachos.

see more horoscopes

VFD Survivor of the week

"One man touches the other/it's incest cus were all brothers/you may say its wrong/well its the touch eachother song"

Pithy VFH Comment of the Week

Meh. I liked the conversation bit, but the rest is pretty bland. Skull tells me he wrote it for a girl or something. And he admits himself that it isn't very good. Well, I wouldn't feature it anyways. Oh yeah, and everything you write is shit, Skull. Everything! Shit, shit, shit! Now start writing something funny, you SHITTY WRITER! Shit shit shit! SHIT!!! - RAHB (Unfomercials:Inspirigun)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— MantiBot

Owner 12:32, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Hellair der mis[edit source]

Can I have a checky please? Readmesoon (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. Qua (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser? Danke shein. Also, you might want to take a look at this. Thanks. ~ 21:16, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

haha, love it! Not quite as good as Sannse the Hutt, but a good effort.

No match on the checkuser. -- sannse (talk) 20:03, 26 August 2008 (UTC)

I loved the name of it - Sannseofdoom :) Thanks! ~

22:15, 26 August 2008 (UTC)

Waitress? Check please...[edit source]

Could you please look at Kitle (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser against Somefancyshit (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser? Thanks, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 05:04, Aug 28

Humm... possible match, but a dynamic IP so I'm not certain. Sorry -- sannse (talk) 19:33, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

Cool, thanks sannse. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:53, Aug 29

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the ~~Police~~ UnSignpost!

August 28^th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother

Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce

By Regret Tenenbaum

At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars.

On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18."

Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about.

Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members

By Methamphetamine

Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster.

Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

05:22, 20 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 12.219.249.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 93 seconds ‎ (Blanking Africa does not make it go away.)
20:45, 24 August 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Norwich (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (and you're an annoying cuntfluff)
09:39, 26 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.190.63.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (o hai, no blank plz. kthxbai.)
00:41, 27 August 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) huffed My balls (content was: 'Sweaty and hot.')

Biopic of the Week

TheLedBalloon - Feature machine and Star Wars aficionado, Uncyc's resident hockey expert has come a long way from his humble beginnings. Seeming to appear on talk pages where there is conflict brewing as if there was some giant balloon signal silhoutted against the clouds, Led's recent oppage ensures that he has the tools to keep Uncyc as most excellent as possible.

Old-school featured article of the week

Five-time World Risk^TM Champion Napoleon Bonaparte was a man of great stature. He enjoyed many military victories, revolutionizing armed combat. He rose to the rank of Emperor, and came closer than any diabolical supervillian has (before or since) to conquering the world. Unfortunately, nobody took him seriously because he was short.

This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/25/08

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Think long and hard before misdirection-linking to the Uncyclopedia article on Penis, as it could result in stiff competition between you and other members of your unit.

see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:16

UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!

Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia

By Gerrycheevers

Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.'

Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy."

As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied.

Movie Trailer Announcer Guy Dead at 68

By Gerrycheevers

IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by...

...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER...

...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'...

...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

07:32, 29 August 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.174.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking is uncreative, feeble-minded, and scientifically proven to be evidence of underdeveloped genitalia.)
20:57, 31 August 2008 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.109.95.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Go masturbate somewhere else.)
03:32, 2 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.59.31.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Exemplary douchehattery.)

Biopic of the Week

15Mickey20, Uncyc's resident tennis analyst, has won virtually every writing award and competition in existence on the entire site. His PLS and Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball entries were both later featured, and his WotM award stems from the rest of his totally awesome articles. Mickey Mantle is pictured a the right for no reason at all.

Old-school Featured Article of the Week

Hammers are extremely useful tools, most usually used for whacking stuff. Employed by Norse Gods, Italian plumbers, and 90s rap artists, the hammer can also be used to gouge out eyes and perform other tasks. Reading up on this article will result in increased knowledge of the hammer life cycle and sexual abuse of hammers, but may also cause severe cranial damage.

This Week's Horoscopes

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - When you assume, you typically make an ass out of Ume. And you know how sensitive that guy is.

see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/09 16:57

Image:Miscbutton.png[edit source]

I just noted you have deleted image:miscbutton.png because it was unused, in fact it was being used on Uncyclopedia:Store. 84.194.239.240 17:15, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

Ohi nxwave. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 23:30, 08 Sep 2008

ORLY? That would make Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser the same person then? Mr N

23:45, Sep 8

What are you talking about? 84.194.239.240 05:28, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

I am not NXWave, not at all! Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 14:25, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

I got my PLS prize today, so thanks for all the stuff. I've got a cat sitting on top of my computer screen now. It's amazing. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 14:59, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

I also would like to extend my thanks for the stuff, but I disagree about the cat which I would characterize as "creepy". --Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 03:01, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Yay for creepy cats! I did consider sending the chicken with chicken pox, or the dead fish... but I just had to go for the roadkill cat :P Glad it got though to you -- sannse (talk) 11:07, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

I just got my stuff too! Awesome! - UnIdiot |

| Talk | Contribs - 02:57, Sep 19

UnSignpost: September 11th, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

September 11^th, 2008 • Nineteenth Issue • All your readers are belong to us

Uncyclopedia celebrates 9/11

By Cajek

8 years ago, America was attacked or something. Uncyclopedians, who are true patriots, celebrated the eighth anniversary in true American fashion: by doing mostly nothing of interest to anyone but themselves.

The UnSignpost devoted nine-hundred-eleven minutes of silence to the event Thursday by not even bothering to send itself out. "The Unsignpost was there nine years ago during those super not-kewl terrorist attacks," said chief writer Gerrycheevers. "I wasn't part of the staff then, so I promise that, in the 911th issue, we will devote a whole article to the events of that frabjuous day."

In the 911th year of publication, the Unsignpost promises to dedicate the whole issue to 9/11 and those rascally terrorists. "We've already got 911 stories lined up for publication!" said staff photographer Larry. "It's too bad we have to wait so long to get them to the public, but that's what happens when you honor a holiday like this the way you're SUPPOSED to."

Uncyclopedia's main page was 11/9-themed for the occasion. When Mordillo and Spang were alerted that nothing interesting happened on November ninth, 2001, Larry, Mordillo's public relations officer, claimed that "it [didn't] matter: One date is the same as the next. Why don't you Unsignpost people shut the hell up? Oh, and uh, I won't be able to come in Monday: it's my sister's wedding."

Other wikis in cyberspace exist, and therefore did things relating to 9/11. Conservapedia, a conservative parody of Uncyclopedia, celebrated by drawing figures of Mohammed on their private nuclear stockpile. Legopedia celebrated by informing the public of Lego's new action series: 9/11: the Suckiest Thing Ever. Jengapedia honored the fallen by sponsoring a 911 minute championship Jenga competition. Liberalpedia, on the other hand, did nothing of any consequence. >:( FUCK YOU LIBERALS!! FUCK YOUUUU!!!!

The Unsignpost would like to print a retraction of it's 47th issue from September 11th, 2001, wherein the terrorist attacks were called "super-kewl" and the terrorists themselves hailed as heroes. Those responsible have been sacked.

Conservation Week Returns!

By Gerrycheevers

Conservation Week, also known as 'Rewrite-a-thon' or 'De-crap-ification', is upon our community once again. Twice a year, Uncyclopedians band together to clean out the weeds and squirrel corpses from promising trees found in the rewrite category, among other places. Due to the retirement of co-founder Jocke Pirat and quasi-inactiveness of co-founder THE, another user has stepped in with promises to annoy every user until they rewrite at least one article. That user shall remain anonymous.

Opening day for this well-liked, popular, and intriguing event is Monday the 15th. The winner of the competition will receive the Greasy Mechanic Award for having rewritten the most articles in the two-week competition. Past winners include THE and Jocke Pirat. Be sure to participate early so as to avoid annoying requests to "rewrite an article, you lazy git!"

The event has thrown into sharp relief the lack of Uncyclopedia events, or the excess of Uncyclopedia events, depending on who you ask. Ideas like Forest Fire Week and Everyone Edit A Ton Of Articles Week have not received much support, but may be enacted in the future to keep ADD-riddled Uncyclopedians something to do for five minutes.

RC takes home NotM

By Gerrycheevers

After years of fruitless nominations, Rcmurphy has finally won n00b of the Month. The announcement came last week, when none of the three candidates fufilled the requirements necessary for winning the n00by. It seemed the two new users had both failed to write an article, and So So did not meet the main n00bishness requirement. Since there was no clear winner, the award went to Rc by Rule 4.1, Clause 3 of the NotM eligibility guidelines.

As far as the NotM badge itself, it was initally placed on So So's userpage. After relenquishing the honor to Rcmurphy, So So proceeded to foul the badge and offer it to the user who wanted it the most. After the planned Panel of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space cancelled, a phone-in contest was held, in which Colin "All your base" Heaney dominated the competiton. He took home the badge and now proudly displays the feces-ridden merit on his userpage.

In a related story, Rcmurphy is up for NotM yet again. However, he is facing stiff competition from W.T. Door, a U.S. Navy seamen who spends his time swabbing decks, battoning down hatches, and writing cool stuff.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

22:25, 5 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.130.4.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Disliking the Matrix.)
06:19, 9 September 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.240.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Oh, please. My grandmother could take down the US Military if she so desired.)
11:07, 11 September 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.27.19.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The cabal cartel deems you unworthy for further edits.)

Biopic of the Week

Adored by his hordes of fans, Cajek can usually be found in the 'ban room'. Uncyc's fifth-most featured author, one can argue that he has revolutionized the wiki with his unique writing style. His regulation of Pee Review and founding of this very periodical are among the many ways he has somehow managed to contribute to the site between his bans.

Old-school Featured Article of the Week

Perhaps the most feared out of any of the creatures that walk the Earth, the Gazebo is as lethal as it is deadly. Known for their excellent camouflage and for being extremely protective of their young (pictured), humans can only hope to never encounter one of these legendary beasts in their lifetime.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - There is travel in your future followed by a lack of travel, followed by very slow travel. Things you'll be sitting in include sports car, hospital bed and electric wheelchair controlled by a blow tube.

see more horoscopes

Retraction of the Week

Last issue we claimed that people from Eurasia are "subhuman scum". We would like to make a hasty retreat from this. Those responsible have been promoted and reassigned, against all the wishes of God and man. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GERRY!!

Re-retraction of the Week

Last week we retracted our claim that "all mammals, including humans, should be killed and stockpiled for the coming nuclear winter." We would like to retract that retraction for reasons that can't be given in full in this issue. EDITOR'S NOTE: Look for a full explanation in about four issues

VFD Survivor of the Week

Movie Of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing is pornography film set for release in the summer of 2009. Not since Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One has producer/director Robot Thomas Edison so brilliantly captured handicap fetishes or William Shatner's Jewishness. Starring Paris Hilton as Dickin Mymouth, Rosie O'Donnell as Your Mother, and William Hung as Tingle the Magical Flying Aardvark of Justice, this is one film that is sure to captivate audiences worldwide.

Sabbatical of the Week

Under user has gone to some hemisphere other than his own, possibly the bottom one. We here at the UnSignpost wish him a trip free of kangaroo attacks, drop bear maulings, swarms of dozens and dozens of scorpions, and the various other pleasentries from down under.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— MantiBot

Owner 11:24, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

The Poles O Doom are needed[edit source]

Can you ask one of them to clear up this? the ntilde has been there for ages and I can't clear it. Thanks! ~ 07:49, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

This one we talked about further down... it's in the bugs list (but minor because it doesn't actually do anything other than vaguely annoy you) -- sannse (talk) 18:17, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

bot flag[edit source]

hello, User:DolyBot, is my new pywikipedia IW bot, you already flagged him in the Hebrew uncyclopedia (eincyclopedia), so please direct me to the right page. thanks, Yelod 22:05, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Whoa, old messages! You need to get the agreement of the community on the Dump first -- sannse (talk) 18:17, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Can we get Sarah Palin partially protected?[edit source]

Hello. Can we get Sarah Palin partially protected and block edits by annonymous IPs? for the time being? The article needs a complete overall and its hard to do this when these IP's keep sweeping in and messing things up. Any help is apprciated. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:09, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Done. Also, I'm not Sannse. Not until the operation, anyway. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:19, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

FACE OFF. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:01, Sep 28

No. "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose." Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:06, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

It puts the lotion in the basket? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:08, Sep 29

UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

October 2^nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Uncyclopedia's Name Changed

By Cajek

According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name."

Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something.

The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different".

So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..."

Uncyclopedia's Doom Forecasted

By Gerrycheevers

For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no."

Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten".

Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost

By Regret Tenenbaum

In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!"

This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.)
19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.)
12:16, 23 September 2008 Cajek (Talk | contribs) blocked a kitten (Talk | contibs) with an expiry time of 4 hours (it's lonely in the ban room, i want a friend)
19:01, 24 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.236.90.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I tire of your actions. Begone, ye pointlessness, from yon wiki.)
06:59, 1 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.106.6.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Pro Cat-in-the-hat vandalism? I think the internet just hit a new low.)

Biopic of the Week

DJ Irreverent:

HAS A LIL'

KITTEN!!!

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Kitten Huffing is the newest form of street activity that is corrupting the youth of the nation. Your nation, that is. By ingesting kittens nasally, one can enjoy a euphoric 'high' of sorts, complete with snazzy colors and loss of motor skills. A prepped kitten awaiting huffing is pictured. Kitten huffing has spawned many parodies and non-existant memes, but the act of snorting live kittens is no joke.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Enjoy the time you spend with your kitten this week because...um...just in case...

see more horoscopes

People with Kittens this week

This guy.

Sabbatical of the Week

Zombiebaron has taken an extended leave to ease his undead mind and change out his forest-green blood. He may or may not be traveling to some of the most luxurious and tropical destinations that Canada has to offer. He may or may not still ban you while he is away. His sabbatical may or may not be kitten-related. Stay tuned to the UnSignpost for the latest developments on ZB's location.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:35, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 10th 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

October 9^th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!

Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets

By Gerrycheevers

Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold."

Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company.

"There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge.

The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative.

Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube
This week the first UnTunes was uploaded onto YouTube, the video sharing site so weighed down by copyright infringements that it certainly would not float in the tub. Our staff couldn't be bothered to watch the video, but we assume from the description of the foray that it is some sort of archival recordings of Oscar Wilde being awesome.

The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

17:23, 4 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked AdamtheSpud (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Thou shalt not create stupid MySpace vanity; nor shalt thou spam links to it across the site, lest ye be smited)
02:00, 6 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 100100100 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus rang. He hates you for blanking your neighbor's article. Also, he says he caught you mastrubating the other day. They're reserving a spot in the ninth circle of hell for you. Enjoy!)
23:50, 6 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.147.9.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Excuse me my kind sir, but may I please ask of you what the fuck you're doing?)

Biopic of the Week

The Thinker is an Uncyclopedia powerhouse. He was last year's bestest writer and is the proud papa of 17 featured articles (and proud co-papa of a further 14). He has won numerous awards for his writing skills, journalistic style, and sexy baritone. His fame and fortune stem from his daily routine of cleansing the body and spirit.

Old-School Featured Article of the Week

The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships is an annual Swedish tradition dating back to simpler times, when the joy of launching rodents into a lake could light up the face of the young and old alike. However, protests and scandals have recently threatened this once-great occasion, and interest has dwindled to the point where the land of Sweden is once again littered with unlaunched rats.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:48, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

I just thought I'd drop by and inquire as to your well-being. So, how goes it? I'm doing fairly well, IRC deprived and all that, but actually trying to get something down in the site. Ummm. That's about all, just giving you a wave from my continent. Consider yourself waved at! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:08, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Hey Taylor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I seem to have missed a few bits on this page, so catching up with your catching up. I am hereby waved at -- sannse (talk) 18:17, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Hmm, I need to learn to read my watchlist better. I overlooked this message! Well, e-hugs to my favoritist one of 'them'. What's going on? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 18:05, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

Nodalot. I'm in Poland again, and I've almost learned to say "I'm sorry, I don't speak Polish". Yay! What's going on with you? -- sannse (talk) 11:42, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm finding myslf as bored as always, here in small Vermont. Actually quite excited that it's election day- I'm sick of all the political commercials :D And I want Obama to win. Fingers crossed, even you Brits! Haha, nice. I've got Polish friends. That's about all I can put into that conversation :D. I should probably know, but what are you doing in Poland, my dear? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 19:10, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Well it's where what you might call my "local office" is you see. Wikia has an office full of techy types over here, and it's easier for me to get here than to the good old US of A. Which would be fine, if they didn't all speak this strange language an all. Ah well, maybe one day I will live in San Fran, even with Prop 8 passing and my chances of marrying a gorgeous red-head going down the pan. Life.... don't talk to me about life... -- sannse (talk) 10:16, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

For some reason it seems odd to me that you are actually part of the wikia thing outside of the internet. There are other realms for people in this machine! (if that line made sense). And the whole Proposition 8 thing is utterly and totally lame. What's the freakin' difference! I blame Christians and ignorant people. It's really, really annoying to me and I'm straight. URG. You know, there aren't many gorgeous red-heads in the world. Most aren't that pretty. I'm sure there are some. Do you mind artificial? Hey, good luck anyway. I'm sure you'll find at least a strawberry blonde. I think I should move to california just to take part in that ballot thing. Anyway, fine, let's talk about death. o.O The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 19:33, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

I think people are generally surprised there is such a thing as Wikia outside of the Internet. Yep, we are real people, who actually work in offices! Well, except TOR... he's a unique and probably doesn't really exist outside of the tubes...

I'm not actually too stuck on the next love of my life having red hair, or even on her being beautiful. But hey, if you are going to make up a fantasy girlfriend, might as well go for the ideal! So how's your Internet access these days? still limited? maybe you should move to California, they have plenty of extra tubes there... -- sannse (talk) 10:54, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

This took me much too long to write back to, sorry about that.

Real people! That's so intense! I've never seen one of those... (:P) and, a good 'haha' is deserved for the first few lines. Yeah, I take back most of what I said about red haired people--I saw an unnatural amount of them in the past 6 days, and most of them were quite pleasing to look at, male and female. Maybe there is a chance! You're idea is a beautiful red head....mine is a guy with really long hair, eyeliner, and A LOT of silver jewelry. :/

As you can see by the lack of writage, I am quite limited still. Haha, yeah. The last time I went to California I got lost in Disney Land...and rode on a train for some random reason...and saw the Hollywood thing, and was 8. ooh! And I saw Barney! </random> I should find myself more intarwebs though, really. Is anything interesting going on since the past week? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 14:09, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh it's all very quiet right now it seems, but busy. You should pop into IRC again when you have a chance, and maybe even not pop out again within 2 minutes! See you there! :P -- 90.206.92.72 11:07, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

I'll do that. I should be around internet during my American Thanksgiving, so maybe for two minutes around then! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 18:36, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 21 October 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

October 16^th, 2008 • Twenty-Second Issue • Now with 40% more Batman!

Uncyc Users throw Support Behind Joe Plumber

By Gerrycheevers

Uncyclopedians today officially declared their undying allegience to Joe Plumber, a newcomer in the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Plumber was thrust into the spotlight last night at the second of many dreadfully boring presidential debates between those two or more candidates currently jockeying for the office. His name was mentioned no less than twenty-four dozen times by the candidates, with each claiming that Joe sided with him on issues such as healthcare, tax increases, and the 'Canada Problem'. One candidate even went so far as to claim that he and Plumber were 'buddies', and that Plumber installed a new bathtub in his palatial presidential candidate mansion last July.

Several prominent Uncyclopedians spoke out in vehement support of Plumber, citing his many qualifications to be the leader of the free world. "He's a maverick in the plumbing industry," said staunch pro-Plumberer Colin "All your base" Heaney. "He also has a plan to live the American Dream, through the infinite wisdom of buying his own plumbing company. America needs dreamers, Gerry." Despite being asked to stop commenting, Heaney went on to say that Plumber "cleans people's pipes on a regular basis."

Other supporters of Joe Plumber's campaign and platform included inanimate objects such as TheLedBalloon. "The most important thing to know about Joe Plumber is that he is AMERICAN, in bold italics underlined and all caps, just like that." When asked to give another example of how patriotic both he and Plumber are, Mr. Balloon replied, "Just picture him standing in front of a flag with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background, and you'll know why I support his presidency."

Current polls show Plumber trailing in the presidential race, with an estimated zero percent of all voters. His backers are trying to spread the word about Joe's tax relief plan, his rugged good looks, and his skill with a pair of slip-nose pliers.

Uncylopedia Issues Food Stamps

By Gerrycheevers

Due to the recent downturn in the economy, Uncyclopedia officials have issued hundreds of food stamps to users who have no means of feeding themselves. These users might be out of a job or have no arms. In any case, these food stamps are to be given out on alternate Thursdays, except for odd-numbered months, months ending in 'y' or 'r', and April. They will be available at the Uncyclopedia Meat Depot, the boron smelting plant, or by calling the new food stamps hotline.

These food stamps will be valid for purchasing a wide variety of nutritious and delicious items from the Uncyclopedia Farmer's Market and Livestock Emporium. Included are items such as pre-packed huffable kittens, gummi grues, and AAAAAAA! cookies.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

06:45, 10 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Wp 815 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Blanking pages is so Emo. Now go write about it in your Livejournal.)
16:46, 13 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked You can shove your wiki up your arse. SIDEWAYS. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎(I'd come up with something witty if I wasn't too busy eating.)
09:01, 14 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Nihilist909 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Whatever it is you're doing, you shall not do that anymore. At least until tomorrow.)
12:23, 15 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.15.183.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(What's the Thai for "fuck off and stop vandalising our website"? Whatever it is, kindly do so.)

Biopic of the Week

With one of the loudest userpages you'll ever see, urine aficinado and making-stuff-up-as-you-go-along expert Orian57 is, among other things, pleased to not be a Power Ranger. Just don't look under his mattress.

From the Desk of the Cabal

Firstly, there is no cabal. However, if one were to exist, it might remind citizens to leave the Uncyc offices well before dark, as the streets are generally safer in the daylight, and Cajek continues to feed the gremlins after midnight. In addition, whatever organizations intended to ensure public safety might happen to exist might also happen to enforce a shoot-on-sight 7:00 curfew. These guidelines are still useful, even though there certainly is not a cabal.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--Sycamore (Talk) 09:51, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Technical issues[edit source]

Hya, did you get the chance to check what's up with the permissions error? Thanks. ~ 11:02, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Hey, it sounds like a cookie problem... can you clear your cookies and log back in? If that doesn't help let me know. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 11:06, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Hooray for poisoned cookies! :) ~

11:13, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh, and while we're cleaning house, can you ask the Poles to take a look at the thing that cannot be removed from the double redirect part? Thanks. ~

12:33, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I'll prod, it's in their list somewhere -- sannse (talk) 12:38, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Cheers. ~

12:40, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Looks like we have more technical issues. I don't know if it's just me, but I seem to be unable to get on to my Special:Preferences, and when I try, I get this:

A database query syntax error has occurred. This may indicate a bug in the software. The last attempted database query was:

   /*id=20081024222212*/ SELECT count(*) AS count FROM .global_watchlist WHERE gwa_user_id='76227'

from within function "". MySQL returned error "1146: Table 'uncyclo.global_watchlist' doesn't exist (10.8.2.7)".

Any ideas? Thanks. Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Talk! 22:23, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Argh, yes, I know what that was. It was due to a new feature. It couldn't be added to Uncyclopedia due to the shared user database and from that error it looks like some stray code was looking for it here. It's been fixed. Sorry for the problem -- sannse (talk) 08:10, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

That cookie thingy we discussed yesterday[edit source]

I think you have something - I noticed that I have issues straight after I edit Eincyclopedia. ~ 15:37, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

Artur made some adjustments last night, and it seems to be stable for me now. Are you still seeing problems? Please let me know if so -- sannse (talk) 11:05, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

I think it's fixed now, I'll let you know if there's any other problems. ~

11:38, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Images[edit source]

What ho Sannse, can I trouble you about images? Specifically, in a fit of boredom/narcissism I created an updated version of Image:UUspark.gif and uploaded it, only to see it completely not change. Thoroughly confused, I tried again to similarly no avail. I then tried uploading it as Image:UUspark2.gif, and it totally doesn't seem to be showing. So finally I tried it again as a jpeg (Image:UUspark.jpg) and saw nothing again. Now, I realise that images of me may cause sensitive souls distress, so is the database taking it upon itself to protect the populace, is my computer playing silly buggers, or is there something up? --UU - natter 14:25, Oct 29

Hmm, either my computer has stopped playing silly buggers, or something got fixed. Either way, this has become that most joyous of things: a request for help that has already been sorted, and you can therefore ignore. Huzzah! --UU - natter

15:10, Oct 29

Huzzah!! -- sannse (talk) 18:17, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

excuse me, but[edit source]

Would you like a good dicking? -- – Preceding unsigned comment added by 74.63.88.126 (talk • contribs)

No thank you. Most kind of you to offer though. -- sannse (talk) 10:59, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Delet My Page[edit source]

Can you delet the User:DarthCruentus page? I made another one, User:Darth Cruentus, with a space. Im stupid :P

done :) -- sannse (talk) 15:24, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

Delet My Unneeded Page[edit source]

Both me and Willingham (a.k.a User:jesusfreak) Both agree that the page Cruentus vs. Willingham shoudl be deleted because the contents would do better on our other pages. Like ours. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Darth Cruentus (talk • contribs)

a link to the page, and a signed message, would be a good start dear -- sannse (talk) 11:48, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

November 3^rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!

Address Change: Return To Sender?
For those of you with your heads buried in the sand, or who choose to concentrate on writing articles, or who don't ever look at address bars, or who don't care: Uncyclopedia's domain name has been changed by evil communist oppressors Wikia.

If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident:

Sannse tells us Wikia have decided the domain is changing. We don't get any say in the matter, but do get to suggest ideas for the new name. Lucky us. Fuck.Wikia.Com is a popular suggestion with all except Wikia. Lots of people get angry, Zombiebaron sticks his undead head in briefly, Codeine adds a Bill Hicks clip railing against the evils of advertising, lots of people sign a petition threatening something vague if the change goes ahead.
The change goes ahead. There follows an uncoordinated response, during which some users go on strike and do nothing, some users open the wiki up to vandalism, and some users get pissed off about it.
The UnSignpost goes on strike for a week in solidarity, and doesn't, for example, miss another week due to the laziness of editors. Oh no.
The change is of such profound magnitude, it even brought Mooses out of self-imposed exile. Briefly. Sort of.
The community decides an uncoordinated response isn't working, and tries to get its shit together. There are even attempts to elect a Cabal to deal with the issues. The self-defeating nature of attempting to establish an Uncyc Cabal is not lost on some.
Skullthumper solves the problem. Sort of.

If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary:

Shit happened. People got pissed. The world has so far failed to end.

More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably.

Glorious return to form for MrN!
The UnSignpost is pleased to be able to report that, after a two-month self-imposed embargo, popular poopsmith MrN9000 has made a glorious return to using underwear references in his daily conversation! The dam finally burst at 23.06 on Oct 22nd, and all those who know him could feel and share the relief, the release of that pent-up tension and the sheer untrammelled joy of their favourite user with a pair of tits in his sig.

Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off.

MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably.

The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

09:26, 20 October 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.217.149.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're interrupting my essay writing. Unless you plan on writing my essay for me, fuck off.)
04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.)
18:03, 22 October 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.70.120.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Your friends do not interest us. Your sister does.)
04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either)

Biopic of the Week

Sexy, Pompey-supporting bureaucrat Codeine has probably banned you. If he hasn't, he probably will. Soon.
Viewed as one of the most diligent and trusted admins on the site, Codeine has probably been here longer than you as well. And he'll probably be here long after you leave too. Deal with it.

VFD kept article of the week

French accent. Zo, you zink ze article iz zaveabeule? Zut alors! Well geurd leurck weez reewriteeng eet zen! Meurdeus, Preetiestpreeteey and 'yperbeule 'ave made a stert.

Cajek ban of the week

00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:43, Nov 6

What's the chances of getting[edit source]

A nifty Ajax based search field like Wikipedia has? Also, just a small reminder about DOUBLE REDIRECTS. Thanks :) ~ 17:15, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm feeling ignored and very cheap here...you did say you'd call :( ~

22:57, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry, you know I love you really... it's just, I've changed... it's not me it's you... umm... or something?

But just to make it up to you, the double redirects are fixed! Yay!

I'm not sure which search you mean, although I had heard that Wikipedia has updated their search. We'll certainly be looking at this, search is way overdue an overhaul... but it's quite likely that any new toys on Wikipedia will be in future versions of the software anyway.

Sorry again for missing this message -- sannse (talk) 09:45, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Yay! I'm feeling loved again! ~

10:25, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Really? We'll have to do something about that... --UU - natter

10:33, Nov 14

Well it's too late for you to ignore him... I suggest you just go with the flow and climb into bed with him. I'm sure his wife won't mind - sannse (talk) 10:57, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 13th November 2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

November 13^th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!

Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life"
In an unprecedented development, Uncyclopedian 15Mickey20 has made a foray into media activity outside of the internets. Mickey, Uncyc's tennis correspondent, has been seen on popular-with-students-and-pensioners UK gameshow Countdown, operating under the pseudonym "Martin".

Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick!

Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine.

Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis
Writer of the Month: There's a bumper crop of WotM candidates nominated this month for your voting delectation. The UnSignpost's own Gerrycheevers is the early favourite, having established a significant lead over this week's biopic star Mrmonkey72, several-time nominee SysRq, inactive-for-ages-but-funny Nydas, dark horse Knucmo2 and the multi-featured and multi-talented An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. But! There is still time, your votes can still make a difference! (Unless you've already voted, natch).

Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously).

Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again.

Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

14:58, 11 November 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.118.10.166 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (idiots never learn. That's why they're idiots.)
08:09, 6 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.203.113.117 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Didn't your mother tell you not to use such bad language? Inbetween all those dicks she was sucking, I mean. )
05:04, 6 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.46.44.68 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yeah, I agree, this site is the worst. Tell you what, now you don't have to edit here ever again! Aren't I the best admin ever?)

Biopic of the Week

Mrmonkey72 is another stellar addition to the Uncyc ranks this year. This highly evolved simian's natural habitat seems to be UnNews, where he's settled with impressive speed, although he's not above writing the odd high quality article as well. And with a Foolitzer Prize and a WotM nom already under his belt, who knows how far he'll go?

VFD kept article of the week

Odd. Surely there's some potential here folks - one talented writer, or failing that anyone with enough time on their hands, might want to add copious sprinkles of funniness dust to this strange confection.

Glorious Return of the Week

Hey everyone, SysRq's back!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 12:54, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Assistance required[edit source]

Hello,

I understand that you are staff here and you might be able to assist me regarding a complaint I made this morning about my full name being included in an article here. Your name was passed on to me by one of the Admin people here this morning. My name has been removed however there is another issue I wish to discuss with you.

Are you able to email me privately please - squish@xtra.co.nz

Many thanks.

125.238.169.197 01:44, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

replied via email -- sannse (talk) 21:47, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 20th November2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

November 20^th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone
Uncyclopedia's premier periodical, the UnSignpost, has somehow managed not to fade away and die for over 6 months, which should probably merit some kind of special edition, but meh.

In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto).

The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps.

Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up.

Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not!

UnSportsPost

By ace sportshound Enzo Aquarius.

In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print!

NFL - Detroit Lions lost again bringing their record-breaking award-winning losing streak to 9, with their last notable points scored in the 2004 season. Lions followers are confident their team can break through once the team's brains are reverted back to Windows XP Basketball Edition. Big thumbs up and grins boys!
NHL - Unlike their Lion brethren, the Detroit Red Wings are in the lead, as always. Then again, their conference is full of NHL expansion filler, so what can you expect? But hey, San Jose is up as well, so uh...yeah...good for them. Good for them.
NBA - LA Lakers are up with no losses in their belt, but anybody east of LA doesn't care anyways. Uhhh....132 points scored by New York...good job guys.
Football/Soccer - See, there are so many freaking teams and conferences that you just can't keep track of all of them. Then again, Japan beat Syria 3-1. Talk about a non-stop action high-scoring game!
MLB - Training time, the high-gravity chamber has been set, Goku will be pitching. It's also time to bring in the young blood who will only play 1 game in the 2009 season.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

23:37, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.122.136.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking is bad. Even in New Zealand, or as we like to call it "Australia Lite")
23:32, 17 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.208.113.67 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Browser hijack links piss me off. When I'm pissed off, I ban dickheads. You are a dickhead.)
09:37, 17 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.19.184.109 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Those who can't do, critique. Poorly.)
04:13, 16 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 138.130.147.91 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ( * 04:11, 16 November 2008 (hist) (diff) Santa Claus‎ (←Replaced page with 'FUCK OFF!') -- I know one kid who's getting coal this year...)

Biopic of the Week

What is it you look for in a 'crat? Is it diligent banstick wielding? Is it a list of featured articles as long as Spang's talk page? Is it having his own award, that he deigns to bestow on those he deems worthy? If it's any or all of these, Mhaille's yer man. If it's not, I dunno, try Olipro, or something.

Cajek ban of the week

08:03, 16 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a big dick ‎ (<Sawblade5> RAHB take care of http://en.uncyclopedia.co/index.php?title=Special:BlockIP&ip=Cajek)

"Writer of the Month" of the Week.

Last heard from in any capacity on this site in January 2007, Imrealized was your WotM for September 2006, with an unheard-of-these-days 19 votes (and Severian liked him so much he voted for him twice). And with a triumvirate of articles like Paradise Lost, Smells Like Teen Spirit and Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test, (not to mention WWJJD?) it's easy to see why.

Cabal news of the week

There is no Cabal news of the week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 20:49, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

lol chekusar[edit source]

I'm going to request for you to do a checkuser on someone. If it's inappropriate for me make this request, you can just ban Cajek for it or something, because I'll be gone for a while after today. Tinkywinkyisgay isn't a vandal or troublemaker but his mind operates on an entirely different wavelength from anyone else ever, and he's been spending the last month monging Savethemooses' brilliant article on Teletubbies. But now Tinkywinkyisgay is permanently banned by self-request so we reverted the article without a fuss. Well, now he's come back as user Falalalala. I'm sure beyond reasonable doubt that it's the same guy (their contributions and interests match perfectly, and their names both involve teletubbies), and I'm not sure what kind of rules regarding sockpuppetry apply here since the ban was self-requested, but now you at least know abut the situation. Knowledge is power. Carpe diem. Quid pro quo. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:55, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

All I can say in this case (other than: GNNNNAARRGGHH HIGHLY DYNAMIC IPs) is that they are on the same range. His IP changed between one account and the next, so there is no direct correlation, but if behaviour is the same for both then I would say that's enough. As to whether or not to ban after a self-requested block... I'd say ban whoever gave the self-requested block. They are so pointless! Either someone is going to use will-power, or they are going to come back anyway! But... outside of that my opinion (admin hat, not staff hat) is that it's better to just go by his actions now. And to laugh at him for being pathetic enough to sock to avoid a ban he asked for of course. -- sannse (talk) and sannse (talk) 12:28, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Ghost template (insert organ music here)[edit source]

That's a bit bizarre - whenever I check my watchlist, I get a template which is under MediaWiki:Wlheader-showupdated. However, that template doesn't exist anymore - and I still see it. Ha? Wha? Who? Who we gonna call?!?!? ~ 16:06, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Don't call me... I took my phone off the hook after all that heavy breathing and stuff. Unless that was you calling me? In which case, sorry about the whistle and me playing the Birdy Song down the phone at you.

Anyways... I'm not sure what you are seeing... maybe you could take a screenshot to show me? -- sannse (talk) 17:35, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 27th November2008[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

November 27th • Issue 26 • The newspaper it's tough to swat flies with

Uncyc shall go to the Ball!
The seasonal tang in the air, the anticipation on the faces of Uncyclopedians everywhere... it can only mean one thing: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is upon us again! The popular annual celebration of all that's good about bad taste is hoping to provoke a slew of skewed satire and give those foolhardy enough to volunteer as judges a colossal headache. And a good laugh, of course.

To whet the appetite, let's take a look at some of the cream of last year's competition:

Yup, standards are that high, or low, depending on your point of view, sense of humour, religion, shoe size and taste in hats.

So jump to it! If you can make the judges laugh even as they vomit up their own entrails, you could be in with a chance of winning the glorious title "Aristocrat en Regalia", as well as the undying jealousy of the other entrants you so satisfyingly routed. Or you might lose.

Asked for quotes, organiser RAHB quipped "I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow", while official judging type Modusoperandi added "my memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit".

{{username}} claims millionth victim
Stalking the articles, forums and userpages of Uncyclopedia like some kind of bad metaphor with legs, the notorious {{username}} template has claimed its millionth victim. The individual in question (who shall not be named because this publication is trying to write an article about {{username}} without actually using {{username}}) was innocently browsing through Uncyclopedia's debating rooms, looking in at the progress of such worthwhile literary endeavours as the incrementation project and the attention span test, when the vengeful template struck!

"It was there, in front of me, an accusation that I was teh gheyz", the hapless victim told us exclusively. "Such hard-hitting slander had to be addressed, and addressed immediately, so I clicked the edit button, and launched into a passionate and vitriolic defence of my unquestionable heterosexuality post-haste!"

Ironically, it was the length of this diatribe that finally revealed the subterfuge. "It took me some time to compose a suitable riposte, listing at length my many dalliances with members of the opposite sex, my subscription to Playboy and my utter distaste for the movie Brokeback Mountain - in fact it took so long that I was logged out from my account" said the sap. "So when I hit the preview button to behold my comeback in all its savage majesty, what should catch my eye but the <insert name here> message that betrays {{username}} abuse? I felt so embarrassed, the only logical course of action I could take was to sell my story to a newspaper with a global readership - you did say you'd pay me for this, right?"

Shortly after this point, the interview was discontinued due to a disagreement between interviewer and interviewee. Asked for a final quote, we were told "fuck {{username}}, and fuck you too!" - a comment that speaks volumes about the suffering this terrible template is capable of inflicting on the unwary.

{{username}} was unavailable for comment, and remains at large, ready to strike again.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

12:14, 26 November 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 118.101.59.19 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Initialising idiot smiting mechanism)
18:21, 25 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 198.20.32.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You only sort of suck, now. Come back when your sucking ceases.)
00:13, 23 November 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of A power level over 9000 ‎ (Vandalizing Cajek's userpage. You should be ASHAMED. Also, Skull said this bantime actually works. Let's see!)

Biopic of the Week

Holy Cheese, it's Necropaxx! From humble beginnings (starting out as just another notch on Famine's banstick), cheery, Grim Reaper looky-likey Necropaxx has stalked his way through the site, creating quality features, a bunch of images, and a growing portfolio of helpful reviews. Just don't diss the cheese, OK? He worships the cheese.

VFD kept article of the week

Yam - c'mon folks, it's tuber humo(u)r. "A yam will totally kick your ass if you call it a sweet potato. I'm not kidding." Doesn't that just make you want to rush in there and give it the magic rewriting touch it needs?

Unactioned image request of the week

User:Sycamore/Mephistopheles - "I kind of want it to be a bit like Goethe's character Mephisto, but maybe with a "Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones" quality - I'd really like something with the whole transformation from a poodle to the student bit or some of the character qualities here." for Sycamore. Anyone with photoshop feeling helpful?

Cajek ban of the week

12:31, 24 November 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 17 minutes 21 seconds ‎ (What is this thing about blocking you anyway? And why aren't I in on it?)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:09, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

December 4th • Issue 27 • Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Sycamore: How does he do it? An UnSignpost Special Investigation

Sycamore. What words waft gently into the back garden of your mind when you hear that word? "Tree", perhaps, or "unusual, propeller-style seeds", if you're of a naturalistic bent. Maybe (although we admit it is highly unlikely), the words "song by really obscure Scottish rock band Deckard" will sneak in under the fence. But for those of an Uncyclopedia nature (and let's face it, that should include all those reading this, or the paperbot's malfunctioning again), the words are likely to include: "Scottish"; "omnipresent"; "recent changes fiend"; "reviewer extraordinaire"; "categories"; "ban patrol"; or possibly "who?" if you're out of the loop.

But who is this masked Celt? Well, since changing identity from MMACKNIGHT‎ in March 2008, he's racked up an impressive 18,000 edits (or he will have by the time this paper is actually delivered - it's hanging at 17.940-odd at the time of typing). Many of these edits have been thanklessly categorising pages, voting for deletion, reverting and ban patrolling - the kind of soul-crushing work, in other words, that would sap the will to live of the average individual, but not our Syc.

His efforts have not gone un-noticed. Indeed, he's been re-nommed for Uncuclopedian of the Month, even though he's already won the award. And despite the understandable reluctance of the non-existent cabal to swell their non-existent ranks, there is a small but significant groundswell of opinion gathering that this should be followed by the bestowing of a Banhammer on the cheery Caledonian.

All of this is interesting, of course, and handily fills up column inches in this week's issue, but it doesn't answer the burning question: how does he do it?

Once again spending no expense on uncovering the truth, your fearless UnSignpost has the answers, and they lie in his welcome message, and a gratuitous stereotype of his nationality. Yes, Jaffa Cakes and Irn Bru are the fuel of choice of this salutary Scot, and it would appear that the chemical reaction of these two volatile substances in his bloodstream creates an energy level easily the equivalent of at least a small-to-medium Hadron Collider. This is sufficient to cause in him a state not unequivalent to that Scientific Holy Grail, perpetual motion. So there you go kids: that's how he does it!

Warning: Your safety-conscious UnSignpost would like to point out that Irn Bru is only known to have this beneficial effect on Scots. Those from less tartan countries would be advised to steer well clear - don't try this at home, kids!

From the Cabal's desk

Greeting citizens. This post does not exist. We are not addressing you from this paper. We do not exist. We do not sit in dark corners, smoking expensive cigars and smirk when we see you make mistakes. Mistakes on this site do not exist. We do not watch your every step with our ban hammers poised for actions. Mainly because your edits don't exist. We are not tired by your petty dramas and wonder when will you write some new classics. Simply because you do not exist. You are not reading this post. We will not meet again next week. This was not the cabal's weekly address to the citizenry. Keep the peace, obey the cabal. The cabal is your friend.

Check out these pages!

From our logs BUMPER SPECIAL:

07:24, 3 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You've got to stop taking vacations like this. They get in the way of the valuable contributions you make to our site.)
00:40, 3 December 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fat hideous cunt (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Codeine why are you using socks to vandalize us)
18:25, 2 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.146.0.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (We love niggers. My best friend is a nigger. My wife is a nigger. And when I have a son, I hope he'll be a nigger rather than an IP)
19:57, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.184.39.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Regardless of what your girlfriends may have told you, orgasms are real)
18:18, 1 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Country/Folk musician ‎ (When I see your name on my block log, I think of a song lyric by Townes van Zandt, if that means anything.)
18:03, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a penis ‎ (When I see your name in my watchlist, I think of penis. And that's not always a good thing.)
21:03, 30 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making RAHB think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.)
20:37, 30 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making me think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.)

Biopic of the Week

There's beautiful, there's downright gorgeous, and then, beyond even that, there's Prettiestpretty. Blessed with writing talent to rival her boundless good looks, she has edified us on the delights of the Queef, the significance of the Colossus of Barbie, and much more besides. Long may she lend her grace to Uncyc!

Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week

Tact: You have a sister? That's great! Is she better looking than you?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 19:08, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

WHY![edit source]

YOU RUINED MY SIG! WTF DID YOU DO THAT FOR! <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.^Meh._Meh.or something like that 22:22, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Did you read your own sig? A copy of it should be right above this post.

» DJ "Reaper of Fail" Gentoo, now with wit, sarcasm, and even more obscure folk metal. Now in lime green! 22:24, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Quite. Because it was annoying, and irritating, and I'm a nasty grumpy-guts... yah boo me! -- sannse (talk) 22:25, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Look, my temporary ban was lifted, and I removed the .gif on the right, so now the only animated thing is the one of Kirby. I did that to please you. I'm BEGGING you, please leave my sig alone now! <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.^Meh._Meh.or something like that 02:41, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

It looks like that annoying Kirby is animated to me... Look, kid, you're here because we let you. We tolerate you, but we have two rules: Be funny and not just stupid, and don't be a dick. You broke the first one with that godawful BHOP thread about Chuck Norris (an overused and unfunny meme) and the second with your annoying sig. Just be glad that the merciful Sannse was on your case and not someone like Flammable. You shouldn't be whining, you should be thanking us (especially Sannse).

» DJ "Reaper of Fail" Gentoo, now with wit, sarcasm, and even more obscure folk metal. Now in lime green! 03:06, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

You're right. I'll try harder to be funny and not just stupid and a dick from now on. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.^Meh._Meh.or something like that 16:17, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

Have you seen Flammable's sig?! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 03:29, 14 Dec 2008

You mean the one that isn't animated? Also, this isn't my talk page. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:30, Dec 14

I'm a HUGE Kirbyfan, so why shouldn't I have a cute, if not irritating, animation of a dancing Kirby? I don't really understand how being an admin/sysop (I can't see a difference) gives you the ability to edit other people's sigs w/o asking permission. And now I find out it's been locked so I can't get rid of that "animated sigs suck" thing. No doubt you did that to keep me from putting the dancing Kirby gif back or adding another gif. Please unlock it. I promise I won't add another annoying gif. <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.^Meh._Meh.or something like that 19:19, 13 December 2008 (UTC)

OK, unlocked --

12:29, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

ka mo interwiki[edit source]

There is a ka Uncyclopedia (http://anciklopedia.org/). There is also a mo Uncyclopedia (http://neciclopedia.org/). Please add the interwiki of ka and mo. If you have problem, you can ask Carlb. --Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 01:45, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Hi, I'm sorry but that conflicts with an existing Wikia wiki in Georgian at anciklopedia.wikia.com. -- sannse (talk) 12:25, 10 December 2008 (UTC)

The conflict between Carlb and Wikia not started today. You are better to talk to Carlb for these two Georgian Uncyclopedias.

As I added the ka and mo on the Template:languages, a red "ka:" and a red "mo:" appeared on the bottom of main page. I have to ask you to update the interwiki. --Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 01:45, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Another user created "ka:" and "mo:", but not as interwikis. I believe you just don't care. --Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 13:25, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Well, I can't create interwikilinks, I made the pages to signify the sites that should be linked, copying it from UnMeta. I was unaware that there were 2 Georgian editions, but it seems that these wikis generally overlap speaking in terms of article content, and the wikia version seems to have slightly more articles, but the style of the wikia version is evidently from wikia. Whatever be the case, ka: and mo: should link to other language editions of Uncyclopedia, so please make it so. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:45, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Evening, m'dear[edit source]

Re. the current ~~storm in a teacup~~ furore over the Scorpions album cover, I found this rather amusing. :-) RabbiTechno 17:49, 9 December 2008 (UTC)

heh, how about this one in return?... Irony is ironic. -- sannse (talk) 18:16, 9 December 2008 (UTC)

Heheheh. Excellent! RabbiTechno 14:48, 10 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 11th December[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

December 11th • Issue 28 • The truth, the whole truth, and nothing

Colin breaks #uncyclopedia

By SysRq

At approximately 7:01 EST, Colin "All your base" Heaney officially fucked everything up yet again. IRC was engaged in what started out as a naturally occurring, all-caps LOL train. However, being the little faggot that he is, Colin decided to join in, effectively making it not funny anymore. This reporter, being an expert witness in cases of dipshittery, quickly came to the conclusion that "Colin makes everything suck."

However, Uncyclopedia's resident shitstain did not stop there. He proceeded to incite bizarre and violent urges within members of IRC, causing them to commit unspeakable acts. This reporter, under Colin's influence, killed both of his parents; deadpidgeon and MrN9000 both became homosexuals as a result. Colin himself was then found to have been responsible for every case of unpleasantness throughout history: the Holocaust, 9/11, and abortion.

As other users unknowingly joined the channel-turned-warzone, they too fell victim to Colin's faggotry. Users were eventually transforming into furries and fucking each other with "furry Disney dicks" just before this reporter relocated to a safer distance. Needless to say, there is now sufficient evidence that everything stupid and gay and unfunny is, in fact, Colin's fault.

Chicks, man.

By Regret Tenenbaum

Hot Chicks. Just the words start your heart racing and your mumble mumble. Hot chicks have long failed to receive the ample, under-wire support they deserve here on Uncyc, and if it were not for one, soft-drink based, visionary noob, the femmes fatales of Uncyc would still be a saggy, wrinkly mess. Now all the babes, sexy ladies, foxy chicks, MILFs, and, yes, even magical anime girls, rest in the palm of your hand, throbbing with their new-found intellectual networking - WikiProject Hot Chicks. When asked how the aforementioned n00b came up with such a brilliant idea, he responded: "I don't know what UnSignpost is, my motivation for starting U[N]:WP Hot Chicks was because I thought it was rather humorous, I would like to be adopted, and in Soviet Russia, all your base are belong to YOU !!" (Doctapeppaman was promptly given a stern spanking for such irresponsible use of memes).

The project has already succeeded in tagging several sexy talk-pages with the WikiProject Hot Chicks seal, thereby rating them on a random and baseless scale from A- to D-Cup, and the project will most likely be a success, considering the high ratio of users to perverts present on the site. Perhaps, one day, the project will achieve its primary goal - making every article without enough pictures of scantily-clad women into an article about cheesecake.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.)
13:16, 8 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.43.6.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 15 years ‎ (congratulations! You'll be back when OJ is out of prison. Let me know he gets a parole before that)
Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.)

Biopic of the Week

Far more than just a definite article, THE is a veritable cornerstone of the site, spoken of in hushed tones wherever people gather together to discuss prolific authors with ALLCAPS usernames only three letters in length. From computer expertise and nature documentaries to frankly ludicrous amounts of UnNews, THE covers all bases. And he won the WotM at the twenty-ninth time of asking in January 2008.

Vital Question of the Week

If we put blatant space filler in this box, will anyone notice?

Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week

Week Box of the week - by far the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week, "Week Box of the week", was featured in the very first edition of the Unsignpost, and for some reason that only the classic writers of the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week know, Week Box of the week spoke not of boxes, as you weak-minded simpletons might believe, but of something higher - Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek's "humor juice".

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:13, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

Sorry if this screws up the cheer and all...[edit source]

But I was looking at the Alexa numbers, and the move to ".com" has had no noticeable positive effect on Wikia's numbers. It has had devastating effects on Uncyclopedia's, however, and appears to have caused us to lose not only many, MANY useful old members but caused new users to shun us, as well. Given such, do you think Wikia might consider a move back effective immediately? It seems like it would only help us, and hurt Wikia not at all.--<<>> 12:09, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

Hi Brad. Alexa doesn't really give the best figures, and is best read over the long-term. We tend to look more at comcast figures, which are showing that unique visitors are increasing (I don't have full recent figures, the latest I have are at http://www.wikia.com/wiki/Image:Comscore_Oct_2008.png - that jump at the end includes the addition of Uncyc on the 10th Oct). http://www.quantcast.com/wikia.com/traffic/sites is also useful. I don't want this to kick off another discussion about whether it's useful for Uncyclopedia to be included in these figures when there are no ads on this wiki, but it's certainly useful from our perspective to be able to see these improved numbers.

But that said, we are still waiting for the Uncyc representatives to contact us, and willing to listen to their suggestions and see what can be done to help. We really do want the relationship between Uncyclopedia and Wikia to work -- sannse (talk) 20:00, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Having glanced at your two links, I am left wondering, as a matter of curiosity, not to spark another debate, what is it about memory-alpha and wowwiki that justifies their being able to keep their domain names? --Sir gwax (talk)

22:16, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

Unique visitors for Uncyclopedia seems to be decreasing, actually. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:57, 30 Dec 2008

Gwax, mostly a preference for dealing with one thing at a time. WoWWiki is being discussed with their community at the moment and is expected to switch later this month. -- sannse (talk) 17:46, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

SPAM Filter[edit source]

Sannse, as you're all good at representin' us to wikia and all, I was hoping to bug you about something. The SPAM Filter that we have in place filters out edits containing "http://encyclopediadramatica.com" and that can be a bit of a nuisance at times. Specifically, there are times when I would like to leave a message on a user talk page, suggestion that, perhaps, ED would be better suited to their style and it would be nice to leave a link for them. I am wondering, therefore, if it would be possible to remove that particular bit from the SPAM filter, perhaps even just for talk pages. --Sir gwax (talk) 22:05, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

That's no problem, it just has to be added to MediaWiki:Spam-whitelist, which is a local over-ride for the global blacklist. But I thought we (Uncyclopedia) decided not to link to ED a while ago? Frankly, I'd rather we didn't... having ended up on a page of diseased penises in the course of some vandal investigating a little while back -- sannse (talk) 17:52, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

Check User Requested for Jack89[edit source]

Jack89 (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser Suspected Sockpuppet of Cows go moo when they poo - Based on recent edits and similar images I am requesting this Check User. --Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{[citation needed]}⁽ ^yell ^| ^FAQ ^| ^{I did this} ⁾ 23:26, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

Hi, please talk to an admin about this (not me, I'm wearing my staff hat atm) -- sannse (talk) 10:50, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1st January 2009[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

January 1st, 2009 • Issue 29 • The first newspaper to wish you a Happy Christmas 2009!

The UnSignpost starts 2009 as it ended 2008: Late
The UnSignpost, the wiki newspaper with the highest staff turnover on the interwebs, has made a promising start to 2009, by being late with the first issue of the year. Gentleman editor UU said "I could say the issue was ready on time, but it was tricky to find a paperbot, but we at the Signpost have never hid behind excuses. Oh no, wait, we do that all the time. I couldn't be bothered to hunt hard enough to find a paperbot. Sorry. Still, it's not like the readers expect better, is it?"

Several readers were probably available for comment, but we didn't ask them anything and blatantly made one up: "it wouldn't be the UnSignpost if it arrived on time", Orian57 might have said, if we'd asked him.

The Patronising New Year Editorial^TM
If you follow a sensible calendar, and not a Chinese, Jewish, Muslim, Celtic or whatever one, a New Year has just dawned, bringing with it the faintest vestiges of hope. Hope that things may just be different this time. Hope that we may keep a resolution for longer than a week. Hope that we will achieve all those targets our hearts desire. Hope that mankind may finally rise above the pettiness of squabbling between families, religions and nations, and unite in a glorious surge towards a bright, common future.

From this we can infer that Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption didn't have a clue what he was on about - hope is a ridiculous thing, and should be crushed as soon as possible. However, there is still the possibility, however remote, that something good might happen. Active users might start writing more good articles again. VFH might start to flow like it used to. Old users may return, invigorated, to bestow upon us fresh fruits of their imaginations. New users may arrive to take up the baton, and stride boldly forward, blessing us with a wealth of new articles that inject fresh purpose and impetus to the site.

Don't look like that - it might happen.

Well, monkeys might also fly out of your butt. Depends if teleportation technology ever becomes viable, widely available, and small enough to secure in such a narrow location.

Face it, we haven't a clue what this year holds for us yet, folks, all we can do is try and make it the best we can by writing more articles, and helping new users out, and see where we go from there. This is your UnSignpost, patronising the fuck out of you. Happy New Year!

Kevin Rudd says Uncyclopedia is the worst
By Joe9320
Recently, Kevin Rudd said that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in Beijing, China, he said "Uncyclopedia is the worst. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. Fuck Uncyclopedia! It's just a plain ripoff of Wikipedia" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "Illogicopedia is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even Wikipedia doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words". As the people of Uncyclopedia, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is not a ripoff of Wikipedia. Hail Cthulhu!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

14:04, 26 December 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.59.56.100 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (For doing something to a page on Phil Collins. You have terrible taste.)
12:56, 25 December 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked YourFriend (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (If I shove a Christmas tree up your ass, does that make you an angel?)
21:23, 18 December 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.182.114.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Your edits are bad on a scale I haven't seen in quite some time. You'd be the chosen one if the goal of this wiki was to make shitty stubs about your friends.)

Biopic of the Week

Proudly the worst since 2005, Uncyclopedia is the place all subscribers to this newspaper will have edited at least once. That means you are directly responsible for its worstness. We hope you feel suitably chastened.

Year of the week

2008. As far as years went, it was OK - there were days in it, things happened and whatnot. People joined, people left, people returned, people lurked, people vandalised, and drama was never far away. But it's probably the best year we've had for at least 8 months.

Year that hasn't happened yet of the week.

2022. We just get a good feeling about it. It'll probably suck now.

Exhortation to vote on stuff of the week

We at the UnSignpost know how much you all love voting, so what better treat than the bumper crop of New Year voting pages? Top 10 of Dec, WotY, UotY, PotY, WotM, UotM, PotM, RotM, VFH, VFD... How much fun can you have in one month?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 01:03, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

Chiggity check yo' self befo' you wreck yo' self some users[edit source]

Would you mind checking this guy against this fella for me, please, sannse? I'm pretty sure it's him, but I'd like to be certain. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:58, Jan 4

Yep, looks that way. Also User:Definitely Not Tom Mayfair and User:Good Sir. I'll block the IP directly too -- sannse (talk) 10:57, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

I think it's time we slam the hammer on this guy, permanently. ~

11:01, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

He certainly seems to be firmly in the naughty boys column... -- sannse (talk) 11:24, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

January 8th, 2009 • Issue 30 • Suckling the Milk of News from the Teat of Truth

Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live

By SysRq

Recently, ~~hundreds~~ ~~dozens~~ some Uncyclopedians have joined the ranks of thousands of pizza-faced proud high school graduates and pre-pubescent twelve year old boys in the dysfunctional, loosely connected network of gamers known as Xbox Live. Among these traitors to Uncyclopedia were Orian57, a friend of the UnSignpost and frequently featured writer. Other Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live include The Woodburninator, Mhaille, Bonner, and Heerenveen. How could such successful Uncyclopedians go so wrong? I went undercover as "Pope Gustav" to expose these turncoats and find out why they abandoned the site in such numbers.

The following is an actual transcript between me (under the alias "Pope Gustav") and Orian57 (under the alias "Orian57") on Xbox Live.

Pope Gustav: Hey buddy, it's SysRq from Uncyclopedia.

Orian57: Hello. You want to play some Horde?

Pope Gustav: Yeah, man. We're playing on Gridlock, right?

Orian57: Actually, Security is a much easier map for Horde.

Pope Gustav: Cool.

This is stunning evidence that Orian57, along with others, is leaving the site for the glamorous life of Xbox Live. When confronted with this transcript and these accusations, Orian replied that "I was just on Uncyclopedia today. I was just bored and wanted something else to do." Oddly enough, all of the other Uncyclopedians that have Xbox Live accounts that I spoke to also claimed to have "lives" outside of Uncyclopedia, lives that mainly consist of playing Halo 3.

Article gets +21 votes on VFH

By Mnbvcxz.

Only a few days after going back to featuring "Today's Featured Article" for only one day, instead of the previous two, the article, The defense rests, your honor received 21 "for" votes and no "against" after a mere 3 days on VFH. The article, nominated on VFH by SysRq, and written by noted admin Modusoperandi, is the first article surpass +20 votes in a long while on VFH. Upon hearing of his accomplishment, Modus is heard to have said, "I'd like to thank all of the little people that I crushed to get where I am," and, "Can I wear my Kernel Popcorn costume?" SysRq, the article nominator is quoted as saying, "I was the one who nommed that article; I deserve some recognition."

For those of you are new around here, VFH is the process by which uncyclopedia nominates articles for "Today's Featured Article", the article in the top left corner on the mainpage. All users of uncyclopedia, including anonymous ip users are encouraged to vote on VFH and nominate articles on VFH. VFH can be found here, but typing in VFH in the search box, by clicking the "Votes for Highlight" link under the community links on the right (it's second from the bottom between "Pee Review" and "Votes for Pictures"), and Uncyclopedia:VFH, in addition to several other redirects.

Many users have expressed approval of this accomplishment, as the more votes an article gets, the better an article is. Therefore, by voting on an article, one injects more quality into an article, in the same way that manufacturers "inspect" quality back into a finished part. Additionally, the admins will not longer be forced to torture various cute animals to inspire users to vote in VFH: provided VFH doesn't stall out again.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

14:30, 7 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.249.151.205 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hi hi poop? That's the best you can do?)
22:38, 6 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.201.148.112 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (People who don't learn need to get extra lessons via their anus. Well, I'm here to give extra lessons. Bend over mister!)
15:22, 4 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.175.81.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (1nd, I have 2 dads, and 2th, just because I am the product of dirty, dirty incest, and also a fuckface, that is no reason to blank my talkpage. Fuckface.)

Biopic of the Week

Whatever else you say about Mordillo, you can't say he's idle. Except in real life, because he's spending all his time on his computer, banning asshats, deleting crap, making stuff happen, writing quality articles, and sorting shit out. Of course, as he's a Zionist, it's all part of a wider conspiracy to control our very thoughts, but that's probably a small price to pay for such an efficient admin.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice.

And they always come up snake eyes.

The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years.

Translated Uncyclopedia Article of the Week

Drill Sergeant in Mexican.

¡UN INSTRUCTOR DE ENTRENAMIENTO ES LO QUE CARAJOS SOY! ¡DESDE AHORA NADA VENDRÁ DE ESA INMUNDA COLADERA LLENA DE CACA QUE USTED LLAMA BOCA! ¡SÓLO RESPONDERÁ CON 'SÍ SEÑOR' O 'NO SEÑOR'! ¿¡ENTIENDE RECLUTA!?
Read the original.

The welcome(?) return of Cajek ban of the week

09:46, 7 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Cajek, you have no idea how wasted I am. 15 shots of gin and somehow I'm still awake. And blocking you. Fuck yes.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 16:05, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15th January[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

January 15, 2009 • Issue 31 • Making the New York Times look like Mad Magazine (or is that the other way round?)

From The Desk of the Cabal: Incest and sex change are now bannable offenses

From the desk of the cabal. Embedded with the last person who came looking for the cabal

Following the sex change operations of citizen (now citizeness) Yettie, and several suspicious sexual activities in the Uncyclopedia compound, the Cabal hereby decrees the following:

Sex changes are only allowed if the citizen wishes to become a voluptuous female.
Any other operations are banned (particularly those who wish to become males, or just more manly looking, in order to improve their chances of scoring with various Uncyclopedians of either gender).
Any sexual activities with family members is strictly prohibited.
Exceptions are: members of the AAN family members, who can shag aunts and granddaughters as much as they'd like.
Sex tax is now in affect. All sex acts taking place in Uncyclopedia are taxable. Taxes should be paid to Olipro no more than 24 hours after the act has taken place. Acceptable currencies are: Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Young Boys and Camels.

Thank you citizens, this message was not delivered by the Cabal which does not exist. Behave nice, vote on VFH and obey the Cabal. The Cabal is your friend. Or it would be. If it existed.

Pee Revuu?
In a surprise move, Boomer, former dictator in absentia of PEEING, the group for opinionated users who enjoy nothing more than giving a good Pee Review, has announced his official retirement. His last official act was to appoint Under user, noted reviewer and maintainer of the Pee Review committee page, to his old position of Captain Catheter. Some regular pee reviewers are worried; Orian57 was heard to say "If UU is going to do Boomer's job, then who the hell are we going to get to do UU's old job of keeping track of pee reviews, judging the quality of pee reviews, and actually getting around to doing the occasional pee review? Don't look at me, I'm gay."

UU himself dismissed such fears, pointing out that he's got nothing better to do with his time than arbitrarily judge the quality of other people's opinions anyway, and adding "I'm relieved to be taking up this position as it will drastically reduce the number of reviews I'm expected to do. Also, I'm thinking of introducing a policy of stripping Orian57, and only him, of his RotM award, his rank, his mittens and his right to drink hot chocolate ever again unless he does a bloody review some time soon".

However, some users are still not convinced this is a good idea, or even possible. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "I seriously doubt that UU can do Boomer's job and his own at the same time. I mean, how can he be accused of being a lazy arse if he has almost twice as many good pee reviews as anyone else and does 75% of the pee review maintenance tasks? This ruins the running pee review committee in-joke about Captain Catheter not doing anything. There is no way this can work."

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow)
23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.)
01:06, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.135.165.198 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hey! I remember you! You evaded that ban that one time, remember? Good times, man, good times.)
15:17, 10 January 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modus Operandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (1 month for being an ass, the other for that stupid username.)

Biopic of the Week

It's hard to define the singular entity known as Modusoperandi in mere words. He's like Uncyclopedia's wandering troubadour of amusing non-sequiturs: roaming the land in search of discussions worthy of his absurdist input, sitting by the campfire of the conversation, treating those assembled to another whimsical one-liner, and then heading off toward another exchange where his presence is required. Kinda like the Littlest Hobo, but with jokes. And lots of awards, featured articles, admin powers and suchlike.

VFD Delete vote of the week

Delete How many half-baked, stale jokes can we fit on one page? More importantly, how can something be stale and yet only half-baked? by Syndrome on Awesomeness.

Transatlantic jaunt of the week

After many months in the hands of that most malevolent of dictators, the United States date format, the New Year allowed our stand-up English editor to put the UnSignpost printing presses on a 747 to what this journalist considers the correct British format! Rejoice! (Note: What you paid for this paper may or may not have gone on the presses' ticket. We don't know. It may also have gone on that booze over there.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:33, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Checkuser[edit source]

Can you check Undernomeder (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser vs. NoNameBrand (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser please? Also, did you get my email about a week ago? Thanks. ~ 10:49, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Hi, That one is on a dynamic IP, so there is no exact match. But it's the same range, and looks a strong possibility that it's the same computer/guy.

Sorry about missing your mail! I've switched address and managed to miss the mail. I'll do the lookup now and reply shortly. Sorry again! -- sannse (talk) 13:15, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

No problem. Thanks! ~

13:18, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January[edit source]

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

January 22 + 7, 2009 • Issue 32 • Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while

Zionists consolidate wiki power
By The rather nervous junior horoscope writer accidentally promoted to editor in chief

Yeah the st-story is, erm, about Mr Mor-Mordillo’s erm asce-ascent—rise to new power. He was, eh, pr-promoted to erm, Be-Beu- Bureaucrat? Which, erm, me-means he can- can now do- do th-things he cou-couldn’t d-d-do b-before; Kind-kind of like m-my pro-pro-promotion. Heh-heh, th-that was a j-jo-joke.

S-some Un-Uncyclope-Uncyclopedians th-think this p-p-proves s-s-s-something abou-about so-some s-sort of J-Je-Jewish, erm, conspiracy. Or-or something, I-I’m n-not really sh-sh-sure why that was meant to be funny. Pro-pro-probably was-was-wasn’t. So-sorry.

Th-the decision ca-came about b-b-because of th-the fuh-fuh-forum voting process in-in-initiated b-by Under—Under user wh-who was u-u-upset tha-that Bureaucrat C-C-Codeine had decided to leave.

After s-some ti-time voting it-it was d-d-decided that Mordillo w-w-would become a Bureaucrat and that C-C-C-Codeine wasn’t leaving a-a-after all! Which was g-g-good.

M-M-Mordillo di-didn’t ma-make a c-c-comment s-so I-I’ve b-been told t-to make one u-up. Erm, “Ha ha ha! N-Now you-you’re all un-under my thumb!” Or something, that that wasn’t really f-funny ei-either. Sorry, M-Mordillo, it-it’s not my W-words!

Image:Do a jailbait.jpg Determined to be a Shemale
By Mnbvcxz and Orian57

To the relief of Uncyclopedians everywhere, notorious image "Do a jailbait" has been scientifically proven not be a girl. Originally, many suspected that the disturbing and disturbingly attractive image was that of young girl: age estimates ranging from jail bait age down to "pedo-bear approves" age. However, due to much "research" on the internet regarding the appearance shemales who are just over the age of consent, it has been determined that said image was in fact a young shemale. Researchers said the hairy arms and the huge penis of the lady in question proved without reasonable doubt that the image can not be that of a girl.

Many in the Uncyclopedia community were relived by the news. Orian57 in particular who stated the child was “quite sexy.”, on the image talk page, was relieved to find he could no longer be considered bisexual.

Some worry about the continuing freedom of Sockpuppet of an unregistered user after his comment: “I don't care. Me wanna rape!”

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

19:48, 22 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Jeus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (And the Lord said, "Let there be bannination," and there was bannination, and one more asshat was kept off of the wiki, and the Lord looked and he saw that it was good.)
03:30, 19 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.27.241.181 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking talk pages is annoying. Your inability to take a joke is even more annoying. The fact that you haven't yet been banned for either is the most annoying of all. I can fix one of those.)
02:47, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked CANIHASTHISPLEEZ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Looks like somebody needs to get a life. This nice little ban will keep Uncyclopedia from getting in the way of that.)

Biopic of the Week

To some, a meaningless jumble of letters, Mnbvcxz is much, much more than that. In fact, he's much, much more than you could possibly imagine. In fact, he's so much more that trying to explain it in a small box in a wiki newspaper is futile, particularly if you spend so much time explaining that you can't explain his awesomeness that you leave yourself little space to try. Still, he reviews, categorises, helps out and does stuff. But that's only the tip of the iceberg that is Mnbvcxz!

Reason why the UnSignpost is a week late of the fortnight

The editor was busy, and totally lacked inspiration. Want to make sure the paper is on time next week? Give us a story in the press room!

Cajek ban of the fortnight

05:21, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a spanking ‎ (20 bans in August, 9 in September, 10 in October, Just 2 in December and 2 in January. Disgraceful.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 02:32, 31 January 2009 (UTC)