French accent

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“Dont Do that”

~ Doctor Who on fake french accents

Ze Frènch accent iz more tin a way of taulking to paepawl around ze world, eet iz ze languidge of ze classics, and et iz ze languidge of luv. Ze grreat Willae aun Whaels uzez a frènch accent tou fooul ze Wikipaedia saerveurz. It haz biine conntreauvaercial how baud ze grreat Willae aun Whaels iz.

Prahktize your frènch accent éverie déiylle bi lerhning a nu werd everree dei. Befoor yu no-ez, yu weehl bee a goo-d speeker and moor emportantlee, you weehl bee 'hable to imprezz zee ladieez, no?

Famoose peeples who hav spokeen ze English weet a frènch accent[edit | edit source]

Manee famoose peeples hav spokeen weet frènch accents, and dey r, ow do you say, veree mooch in ze deman for ze patrees and for zeir out-looks on zi life.

  • Maurice Chevalier- You say dat you ave neveer eard of ze grate Chevalier? Mon du! Ee was simplee ze greatest singing French Film Star in ze entire whirld!
  • Louis Jourdan- Most peeple oooh do not know inny betor would pronounce eez first name as ze flat L-O-U-I-S, but Eee reallee pronounce eet Looie. And ze last name is not J-O-R-D-A-N lick the countree, boot SHOR-dan.
  • Jerry Lewis - An Engleez speaker would sey, "fa-fa-fa!", but we say eet as SHEE-rry Lew-ESS! And Shee-rry Lew-ESS is greatest comedianne of all time, past, prezent or furtaire!
  • Bridget Bardot - Ze engliz speaker say "Ho-ho-ho! Bridget Bardoe" but wee just call Er BeBe.
  • Zee guy on ze stella artroz four advert
  • Ze John Cleese "Ah fart een your jeneral direcsion!"

Sex of the word[edit | edit source]

If ooow want to speak with zee French accent, un, you must learn to insert ee sex of each word into wauiat u say. So let us asooom dat you are talking about ze o-tomobeel. Ze o-tomobeel, she is a woman. Ze o-tomobeel is sexy, no? So you would sea dat "She eezz my new automobile - she eez a Panhard LeVoisee-a." Now you try eet. Bon!

Now we try for a masculine non - a belt like u would se were around yer waste. So you would sea "My neu belt, Eee ez made of leather!" No you try eet. Bon!

Think as a French. If you have a cigar in your mouth and just had 12 bottles of some Faggy French Liquor, would you be able to talk anyways. All French have Cigars filling up their mouths at all times. Either that or a penis so the thought of even speaking let alone an accent, is hard. Why would you need a voice, an accent or a language if your mouth is full of tobacco, semen, or Beer at all times?

Holy Madre! Wee are ooout of time![edit | edit source]

Ô, sacreubleu.! Oui oui! Eet iz alsso necessarie to youze ze accèns marques to furzeur confoun ze serveur et les garçons..Et bien, in ze words of ze immortal Capitain Haddock « Milles millions de milles sabords ! »

Doe you spaeak toe meutch Frènch? Viz iz a goude accent to spiik. Uncyclopaedia haz ruled ze Intaernet. Eat zome Poop Cuisine at ze cafe!

Oh reuvwar. Youe pees fo cheet.

See also Vwar Ohsee[edit | edit source]