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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Burj Khalifa
Imagine a big
tower. A really
really really
big tower that
has little towers
growing out of it
Just the size of...
the size of God's
feet. How on Earth can you
compete with that? It just
doesn't make sense, man!!! (Full article...)
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Breaking News
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 "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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December 11: FIVE BIG BOOM DAY! (Worldwide), Try Communism Day (Lancashire, U.K.)
- 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city.
- 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense.
- 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945.
- 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all.
- 1983 - An AirChina plane goes Boom over the South China Sea; only the air hostess survives, on account of her pillowy breasts doubling as a life jacket.
- 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen on frozen pizza.
- 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the world leaders.
- 2009 - Annual "Try Communism Day" is celebrated by the people of Lancashire, sadly they all starve to death.
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