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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Rob Gronkowski, also known as "Gronky Kong", is tall guy who once play American football, now is tall funny guy make appearance on TV. Gronk have play as tight end, no make into wide receiver. Gronk have perverted sense of humor, you see. Hahaha, 69!
Gronk have play for team with Tom Brady, namely New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, play so hard against hometown team Buffalo Bills due to Bills dinosaur owner no pick Gronk. Gronk mad.
Gronk is crazy party animal, like party so much he use beer keg for wash bodyyyyyy. Gronk say no eat TIE PODS, but sometimes he no resist, due to TIE PODS is colorful like candyyyyy. TIDE POD yucky though, Gronk just eat to look cool.
Despite Gronk now hated in hometown of Buffalo, New York due to angry GRONK SMASH on Tre White, he still more likeable by light years than dummy ex-teammate Aaron Hernandez, who was angry gangster go kill people. Gronk one of few people who no get CTE from play football, but BORN with CTE, along with Cam Skattebo. Therefore being born with CTE, Gronk always nuts, but awesome. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Breaking News
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 "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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February 2: Upside Down Day
- 1461 - The War of the Roses: no one outside of some damp island has any idea what happened during the war, I don't know, poppies started eating people?
- 1652 - New Amsterdam (later renamed to New York City) is settled, declared the "Greatest City in the World" by people with low expectations.
- 1848 - The Mexican-American War ends in the treaty of "Gimme Half Your Shit", in which America gladly welcomes all the land Mexico was kind enough to lend.
- 1850 - Brigham Young slaughters hundreds of Native Americans, is cursed in the afterlife to live in the, uhh, terrestrial kingdom? Seriously?
- 1922 - James Joyce writes random scribbles and publishes it, scholars are still confounded after decades of study.
- 1943 - The Battle of Stalingrad ends after all the Nazis just froze to death, General Winter, just don't think about it, O Beautiful for Spacious Skies...
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