Babel:Falwell

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The official Encyclopedia of Liberty University.
40,315 articles in (American) English

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Welcome to Falwellapedia

The literal and inerrant encyclopedia you can trust.
To get to heaven, you have to get past me, first.

Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.

Jerry's Daily Sermon:

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." Crossfire (17 May 1997)

Daily Historical Falwell Quote:

"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."

On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)

Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here.

Darth Maul green.png

My actual name is unknown. I forgot the dub in which they called me since my birth many years ago. One forgets so much when inflicting justice and bringing order to the universe. What day it is, I also don't remember; lightsaber radiation also has a deleterious effect on one's memory. My mind, much like my memory of how my face became red: empty.

I have horns on my head, so I choose to rely on the idea that I am of a species called the Zabrak. My prime was during the Naboo crisis, which was indeed some swampy and dusty shit for the most part. I actually loved the Theed Royal Palace in which I invaded and never knew about the mining pit and its surroundings. I visited when I was younger and really appreciated the pillared columns and symmetrical architecture. My invasion was simply badass, much like my dual-sided lightsaber forged with the hateful, yet arousing energies of the dark side. And no, you may not touch it.(Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Breaking News

"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands."

On this day...

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July 18: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day

  • 1835 – Bobwire is invented by Bob "Two-thumbs" McGinty.
  • 1863 – American Civil War: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, and Morgan Freeman charge a Confederate fort in what is commonly agreed to be one of the most passionate scenes in cinema history.
  • 1872Britain introduces secret ballot voting so that aristocrats across the country may more convincingly drop their monocles in indignant surprise after the rabble have their way.
  • 1879Oscar Wilde obtains the cane he becomes known for posing with during a contest of wit with a man owning a cane.
  • 1883Jimmy the Cowboy is born in what is believed to be Kentucky.
  • 1969 – Mary Jo Kopechne & Sen. Ted Kennedy plunge off Chappaquiddick Bridge, thus tying up all the lose ends.
  • 1971Hunter S. Thompson has a rather nasty trip. Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day established in honor of this occasion.
  • 1990 – Interruptions continued to occur in all aspects of daily business as people repeatedly were urged to "stop" during the period known as "Hammer Time".

Featured picture

Pontius Pilot
The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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