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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Act 1 – Is you is, or is you ain’t my baby?
[It is Nazareth in the 10th year of Herod's reign, legionaries march through the streets, Pharisees oversee the moral instruction of the village while Sadducees search for a job description to let them know what they were meant to be doing. A council flat in a bad part of town.]
[A bearded man in a sports robe and chunky chain fingers his sovereign ring anxiously. A woman sits watching television, calmly rolling a cigarette between fingers tattooed with the words LOVE and HATE.]
Madonna: Quick, Joe. The executions are startin’ again, you're missin’ it.
Joe: Don't care, reality TV sucks. Anyway, I don't like executions any more, when did we last see a decent stoning? It's the bloody Romans I blame, coming over here and straightening our roads.
Madonna: Ah, don't let the crucifixions make you cross, Joe. There's bound to be a smiting on in a minute.
Joe: It's not the crucifying, Madge. I’ve gotta go to bloody Bethlehem tomorrow and you know how I hate all those big city types. (Full article...)
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