Babel:Falwell

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The official Encyclopedia of Liberty University.
38,287 articles in (American) English

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Welcome to Falwellapedia

The literal and inerrant encyclopedia you can trust.
To get to heaven, you have to get past me, first.

Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.

Jerry's Daily Sermon:

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." Crossfire (17 May 1997)

Daily Historical Falwell Quote:

"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."

On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)

Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here.

TurkmenCoat.png

Glorious Turkmenistan was one of the poultry republics that broke away from the USSR and, despite what partial nations claim, it has a long and glorious history; as long and glorious as that of Germany or the Ottoman Empire. Turkmenistan was the predecessor state to the Turkmen Empire before Turkmenistan won the Tatar War. The Tatar War was a large scale conflict where Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow used horses to remake the Mongol Empire. Unhindered by his physical death on December 22, 2006, Turkmenistan continues to be ruled by Glorious President-for-life-and-afterlife Saparmurat Niyazov known locally as the Turkmenbashi or Great Leader of the Turkmen. It is Niyazov who made Turkmenistan the best nation the world has ever known during the happy years of his mortal presence as Glorious President. (Full article...)

Breaking News

"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands."

On this day...

Uh oh... Government go boom.

November 5: Remember, remember, the fifth of November: Explode The Government Day (Britain)

  • 1605 - The Parliament building fails to explode.
  • 1854 - Anonymous inventor skinned while testing early hydraulic barber chair.
  • 1900 - Despite widespread panic and rumors in proposition, Big Ben doesn't explode, but the Prime Minister does.
  • 1984 - Despite the Brotherhood's efforts, Big Brother is not wounded in a suicide bombing. Lets thank him for increasing our chocolate to 20 grams!
  • 1987 - Margaret Thatcher's imminent Silent But Deadly reaches critical mass and explodes in her intestine.
  • 2022 - Some guy wearing a mask in London blows some shit up, rioting doesn't ensue (it's England NOT France)

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9-11
9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun.

Image credit: FreeMorpheme
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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