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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Morbius is one of the first of soon-to-be many antihero-based films, released in 2022. Based on an obscure manga, filmed in an underground cesspit, produced by Columbia Pictures "in association" with Marvel and distributed by Sony, Morbius stars everybody's favorite celebrity, alleged pedo, and clown (no, really) Jared Leto as the eponymous Dr. Michael Morbius Morbin', a personality noteworthy for engaging in esoteric acts of manslaughter, in other words, morbing – a term that has since become to define thriving accomplishment, in honor of the film's performance and what Morbius does in Morbius. Alongside Leto, stars Matt Smith, who plays our main antagonist, and amongst others, John Doe, Man and other above-the-line pseudonymous individuals from Leto's alleged "cult".
Morbius came into fruition in 2019 following the success of Sony's Venom, the first film in a separate "universe" of films of their own constructed to further convolute that of Marvel's, almost as if the two franchises were divorced parents. This is overt given that Morbius has been claimed by Sony to be adjacent to another film thence. Furthermore, despite Sony's affirmation of this trilogy merely consisting of films regarding your perhaps-not-friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, Morbius lacks any clear interrelation thereof aside from in the marketing, but this was all just done to get the fans and commentators in on the unsuspected fever. Morbius, during production, was postponed some innumerable (read: six) times due to the spontaneous intercourse with a bat a pseudonymous actor on set engaged in during filming, hence the expanse of the COVID epidemic. (Full article...)
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 "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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September 21: Cola Wars Armistice Day
- 454 - Roman Emperor Valentinian III assassinates his general Aëtius after a dispute over the merits of Coke and Pepsi.
- 1780 - American Revolutionary War: Benedict Arnold gives the British the plans to West Point and the secrets to carbonation.
- 1952 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are executed by the Coca-Cola company after leaking their secret formula to Pepsi.
- 1986 - Colonel Sanders surrenders his forces to PepsiCo at the Battle of Kentucky.
- 2006 - Royal Crown Cola declares war on Pepsi Cola and Coca Cola, proclaiming "Death to the American Capitalist Swine!"
- 2008 - We completely forget to reference the Earth, Wind and Fire song "September" in lieu of some cola related nonsense, thereby revealing our utter lack of culture.
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