| The literal and inerrant encyclopedia you can trust.
Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here.
Mexico is a Latin American country that pairs total social dysfunction with a population that never asks why nothing works but patiently waits for things to be different later.
Mexico is bordered to the north by the United States, though the border is vague and moving further north; and to the south by several even scarier places such as El Humidor, with which the border doesn't matter. Mexico comprises 21 states, two territories aptly referred to as "Taco.C.", and three districts: a Federal District that is like Washington, D.C. but even smoggier, and the districts of Cancún and Acapulco, except that they are districts of the United States.
Mexico was originally populated by a special breed of human beings, namely the Aztecs and Mayans. They perfected the ritual killing of youngsters, long before the invention of the automobile, and predicted that the world would end soon. They were conquered by the Spaniards, who preached that the world would never end. In 1821 Mexico declared its independence, and modern Mexicans wonder why it is taking so long for the world to end.
Among American Presidents, Barack Obama surely thought he was in Mexico when he promised Americans that things would be different if they would only "hope" for "change". And, ¡ay, Chihuahua! he got away with it. And George W. Bush surely meant Mexico when he referred to the people who "are only doing the jobs that Americans won't do (at least, at the shabby wages we want to pay them)". These jobs include serving spicy meals that induce pain the next day, blowing off court dates, and making snap decisions to leave the expressway despite cruising in the fast lane. (Full article...)
|
