UnNews:FOX News Study: 90% of liberals hate liberals
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 May 2007
The United States of Fair & Balanced News Coverage - A study conducted by Fox News today has shown that 90% of the Liberals surveyed by the news outlet, hate Liberals. Conservative analysts from across the US were quick to pounce on the interesting developments of this latest poll.
"Wow. Liberals have finally let their dirty little secret out," concluded conservative columnist Ann Coulter. "Liberals hate America so much, they've circled around to hating themselves. Doesn't surprise me one bit frankly."
Rush Limbaugh had this to say: "These Commie Pinko Tree-Huggin' Fags have finally come clean. Or have they? I think Liberals are trying to deceive Americans by telling everybody they hate themselves. Well, I'm not buying it. No Limousine-Liberal is gonna outsmart me!"
Most other conservatives followed Limbaugh's example and became highly suspious of the study. Violence soon erupted and a Texas man set Nancy Pelosi on fire at public event in Washington today. Pelosi was soon turned to ash and her dark spirit returned to the fiery underworld of Hades to be worshipped by her minions of the Hollywood Liberal Elite.
Liberal whiners were quick to question the Fox News study with claims of bias and gross misrepresentation. Fox responded with the following statement:
"What?! Us bias? You're pullin' our thick, muscle bound, patriotic, All-American legs. Look. Our study was conducted in a Fair & Balanced manner. The questions we asked were Fair & Balanced, the paper we wrote the results down on was Fair & Balanced and the guns we pointed at the heads of Liberals involved in the study were entirely Fair & Balanced."