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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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The World Wildlife Fund (now known with the suffix for Nature in attempt to attract naturists to the fanbase), or WWF, is an animal cruelty based sports entertainment company dealing in professional animal wrestling arranged by animal lovers within the aforementioned organisation. It features fights, wrestling bouts, brawls, fisticuffs and bloodbaths wherein dangerous predators, the lazy and weak, perilous domestic pets and endangered species are the combatants, battling with one another in a pre-defined survival of the fittest.
The WWF features every wrestling fan's favourite brawlers, including the bear, the elephant, the snake, the shark and the chihuahua. All of them scramble for glory in the bloodied ring, leaving no other animal standing, other than itself. The World Wildlife Fund was founded in 1961. The group stated their mission to protect endangered species and other animals, and they promptly set about getting involved in saving poor animals, like injured little bunnies and the rare Siberian orange duck-billed mongoose, from extinction and suchlike. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Breaking News
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"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands."
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On this day...
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March 27: Typhoid Mary Day
- 1513 - Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León searches Florida for the Fountain of Youth, finds a Marshalls next to a Randalls next to another Marshalls.
- 1915 - Mary Mallon, nicknamed Typhoid Mary since her name is Mary and she gives people Typhoid, is detained by the authorities after killing like fifty people.
- 1921 - Activists from the group "Justice for Mary Mallon" die of typhoid after Mary prepares them all a lovely Peach Melba. (Pictured)
- 1998 - The head of the FDA recommends that men suffering from premature ejaculation just "think about your dad."
- 1999 - A Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk is shot down over Serbia by a Slav wielding an evil glare.
- 2014 - The Moro Islamic Liberation Front agrees to ceasefire with Philippines government while they figure out what's so fucking hilarious about their name.
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