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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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II Am Legend is a 2025 American post-post-apocalyptic film starring Michael Jordan. It's a sequel to the 2007 DVD I Am Legend starring Will Smith, which was based on the movie with the same name. Since DVDs are obsolete these days, the sequel DVD will be a direct-to-movies movie, even though the movies themselves would probably be extinct by 2025. I mean, the movies would be extinct, not the movies. The buildings in which we used to see movies in. Not the movies themselves. People will still see Basic Instinct and Shrek, but on their TV sets or computers. Or computer sets. Or Samsungs. Finish your vegetables, Sam.
The film is notable for having one of the cleverest sequel titles of all times, just like Alie7 and nothing else really. No, don't push away the celery, Sam. Celery will make your ears clean, you know. Sam! I'm talking to you, bitch! Don't think that if you died on theater I will let you get away with eating your fucking vegetables! (Full article...)
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 "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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July 6: Man Milk Day
- 3100 BC – Village idiot starts sucking on a cow's titty; discovers milk.
- 2300 BC – Chinese religious officers declared that drinking milk is a sin.
- 1609 – Bohemia is granted freedom of religion. The Bohemians snap their fingers in approval.
- 1732 – The 'Running of the Bulls' Festival in Pamploma, originally, 'The Drowning of the Animals' Festival, undergoes Major overhaul. PETA established.
- 1946 – George W. Bush born; record numbers of brain death recorded in America.
- 1977 – Idiot deems day "Man Milk Day" and proceeds to schedule lame events (Editor advises they read the article "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid")
- 1978 – Margaret Thatcher blesses the first man to be milked.
- 1986 – Mike Portnoy founded the band Dream Theater
- 1988 – Shemales riot near Rio de Janeiro to obtain the rights for selling their milk to earn a living.
- 1996 – Mike Portnoy travels back in time to found the band Dream Theater
- 2004 – Man Milk is found to be an excellent source of energy for athletes. Naturally, using it in this fashion is outlawed by the U.N. under pressure by the Gatorade overlords of the universe.
- 2006 – San Seattle Riot kills 6 Caloringtons
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