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Welcome to Falwellapedia The literal and inerrant encyclopedia you can trust. Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits. Jerry's Daily Sermon: "Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." Crossfire (17 May 1997) Daily Historical Falwell Quote: "Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business." On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997) Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here. (Full article...) Recently featured: Cigarette butt Plain Old Elim Garak Mutant Mammoth of Mayhem Antonio Brown Archive · Vote for featured articles · Breaking News "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." Terrorists surrender to American might Minority-hating Democrats seek to oust Gonzales US Democrats give Entire World to Terrorists FOX News Study: 90% of liberals hate liberals Kids still fucking National Day of Prayer ruined by godless protestors Persistent Protestants protest punishment A poor, defenseless Hummer was viciously attacked by Eco-Nazis GOP to host 'Wholesome Christian Conservative Republican Values' gala Militant atheist violence continues Liberals finally lose Poor planning ruins Rapture On this day... February 12: Undeniably Heterosexual Graeco-Roman Cultural Appreciation Day 804 BC - Prometheus (Pictured) steals fire and gives it to humanity, who use it to braise their finest meats. 1502 - Queen Isabella I of Castile bans Islam from her kingdom after getting stood up by an uncouth Moroccan. 1817 - During the Argentinian and Chilean wars for independence, joint troops cross the Andes mountains; without elephants, they settle for a herd of vicious llamas instead. 1912 - Puyi, the last emperor of China, abdicates the throne after the communists steal all the royal rice cakes. 1915 - The Lincoln Memorial begins construction, undercover KKK members secretly install a giant mucky swamp right next to it. 1947 - Paris becomes the capital of the fashion industry after Dior releases its collection. 2016 - Pope Francis and whoever the Orthodox Pope is meet up and try joining forces to finally defeat those dastardly protestants, but their plan is foiled by their numerous ecumenical differences. Featured picture The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay. Image credit: Sliferjam View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Uncyclopedia's sista projects Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia. UnNews News on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary Best left unsaid UnTunes Noisy things UnGames Ways to waste away HowTo Like Ikea without the pictures UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes Uncycloversity No student loans UnPoetia Dreams deferred UnDebate Debate the irrelevant UnScripts We ruin stage too Why? 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