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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. It is mainly used on children whose sense of entitlement and petulance has reached a breaking point and their parents feel that talking won't work and grounding will make fuck all of a difference. The kid fucked around, the kid then found out. They didn't quite realize they were finding out right away because before awareness of said boot up their ass sent in, their head was being whacked so hard by rolled up newspaper their brain shifted and the boot in anus processed 0.5 seconds later. Eventually they all find out, even if it is delayed by a minor concussion. (Full article...)
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 "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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December 13: International "That Guy" Day, Day of British Villainy (U.K.)
- 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles, yet still cannot locate a can of Heinz Beans.
- 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
- 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
- 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
- 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, experts attribute this phenomenon to people "not feeling like getting any ass" in mid-March.
- 1992 - Bob like pie.
- 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts!
- 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.
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