Worst 100 Songs To Have Sex To

The All-Time 100 (or so) Worst:
100	Animals
99	April Fools Jokes
98	Cartman Wannabes
97	Colors
96	Creatures to have sex with
95	Firefox extensions
94	Foods
93	Gifts to give a friend
92	Harry Potter Spin-offs
91	Inventions
90	Locations
89	LOL Cats
88	Make Out Songs
87	Moments to get a Boner
86	Moments to Laugh
85	Money Making Schemes
84	Movies
83	Nonexistent Words
82	Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
81	Nutty Conspiracy Theories
80	Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
79	Pokemon Cash-Ins
78	Porn Stars
77	Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
76	Reasons to Ban Lyrithya
75	Reflections on 2005
74	Reflections on 2006
73	Reflections on 2007
72	Reflections on 2008
71	Reflections on 2009
70	Reflections on 2010
69	Reflections on 2011
68	Reflections on 2012
67	Reflections on 2013
66	Reflections on 2018
65	Reflections on 2022
64	Religions
63	Rejected Harry Potter Novels
62	Remakes
61	Restaurants
60	Self Help Books
59	Sexual Perversions
58	Short Poems
57	Sitcom Catchphrases
56	Songs
55	Songs about Seagulling
54	Songs To Have Sex To
53	Songs To Play At A Funeral
52	Spinoffs
51	Superheroes
50	Things About the '00s
49	Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
48	Things to do during Christmas
47	Things to Put In An IV
46	Things To Say In Court
45	Things to Say in the Workplace
44	Things to say on a First Date
43	Toys
42	TV Programs
40	Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
39	Video Games of all time‎
38	Video Game Movies
37	Video Game Systems
36	Ways of Being a Dick
35	Ways To Be Castrated
34	Ways to be Circumcized
33	Ways to Deliver Bad News
32	Ways to Die
31	Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
30	Ways to Start a Novel
29	Ways to Win an Argument
28	Weapons

See Unified Law of Subsequent Albums for more information on the scientific causes relating to music.

According to Madonna's True Word, the following are the Worst 100* Songs To Have Sex To. Readers are required to have their condoms to hand.

* Madonna does not care to count this list too closely, as she is too busy stealing African children.

130 - 121

130. "Careless Whisper" - George Michael

129. "Ding Dong Song" - Günther

128. "Silent Night"

127. "In the Navy" - Village People

126. "Last Resort" - Papa Roach

125. "Rappin' for Jesus" - Pastor Jim

124. "Sex Offender Shuffle" - Scott Gaidner

123. Jaws Theme - John Williams

122. "Sugar Walls"- Sheena Easton

121. "Trololo" - Eduard Khil

120-111

120. "O'Children" - Nick Cave

119. "Think I'd Better Leave Right Now" - Will Young

118. "I Love You, You Love Me" - Barney

117. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin

116. "Jizz in My Pants" - The Lonely Island

115. "Keep it on Wax" - Alexisonfire

114. "Bite the Pain" - Death

113. "Tell Slater Not to Wash His Dick" – Bring Me The Horizon

112. "Already Over" -Red

111. "The Morning After" - Faith No More

110-101

110."Best of Both Worlds" - Hannah Montana

109. "Smack My Bitch Up" - The Prodigy

108. "Creep" - Radiohead

107. "Family Guy Theme Song" - Barney

106. "Maneater" - Hall & Oates

105. "How Do You Like Me Now? - Toby Keith

104. "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" - Jermaine Stewart

103. "Pretty Fly" - The Offspring

(Give it to me baby..uh-huh, uh-huh.) I think you get the idea.

102. "We Didn't Start the Fire" - Billy Joel

101. "Four Sticks" - Led Zeppelin

100-91

100. "You Suffer" - Napalm Death

You'd have to be bloody quick to have sex to this!

99. "The Final Contdown" - Europe

98. "Revolution #9" - The Beatles

97. "Bleed it Out" - Linkin Park

I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away, just to throw it away, just to throw it away, I bleed it out

96. "A Bitch is a Bitch" - NWA

95. "Take Me Down To Funky Town" - Lipps Inc.

94. "Raining Blood" - Slayer

93. "A Boy Named Sue" - Johnny Cash

92. "Cotton Eye Joe" - Rednex

91. "Come On Eileen" - Dexys Midnight Runners

90-81

90. "Can You Feel It" - The Jacksons

89. "To Rid the Disease" - Opeth

88. "I'll Be There For You" (The Theme Song from Friends) - The Rembrandts

87. "Ring Of Fire" - Johnny Cash

86. "Bone Broke" - The White Stripes

85. "The Hampster Dance" - Hampton the Hamster

84. "Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats

83. "I Want To Break Free" - Queen

82. "Dude Looks Like a Lady" - Aerosmith

81. "I Hate Everything About You" - Three Days Grace

80. "Surfing Bird" - The Trashmen

80-71

80. "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" - Cliff Friend and Dave Franklin

79. "Fake It" - Seether

78. "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash

77. "I Am The Walrus" - The Beatles

76. "It Wasn't Me" - Rik Rok and Shaggy

75. "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain"

74. "Crazy Bitch" - Buckcherry

73. "It's Raining Men" - The Weather Girls

72. "Doin' The Mess Around" - Ray Charles

71. "Who Are You" - The Who

70-61

70. "Rape Me" - Nirvana

69. "How Could This Happen To Me" - Simple Plan

68. "Who's Your Daddy?" - Toby Keith

67. "I Think I'm Going Bald" - Rush

66. "Dead Bodies Everywhere" - Korn

65. "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" - Eiffel 65

64. "Oh Yeah" - Yello (From Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

63. "Macho Man" - Village People

62. "4'33"" - John Cage

61. "Heaven Is One Step Away" - Eric Clapton

60-51

60. "Impossible Brutality" - Kreator

59. "He's A Radical Rat" - Samuel Asher-Weiss

58. "Excitable Boy" - Warren Zevon

57. "Sex, Murder, Art." - Slayer

56. "Phoenix (Basement Jaxx Remix)" - Daft Punk

55. "Who Wants To Live Forever" - Queen

54. "Pain" - Three Days Grace

53. "She's Got Balls" - AC/DC

52. "Only The Young" - Journey

51. "Strange Brew" - Cream

50-41

50. "It Don't Come Easy" - Ringo Starr

49. "Rock You Like a Hurricane" - The Scorpions

48. "I Ain't The One" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

47. "Cold As Ice" - Foreigner

46. "So Into You" - Atlanta Rhythm Section

45. "Party Boy Theme Song" from Jackass

44. "Remember Tomorrow" - Iron Maiden

43. "I Cum Blood" - Cannibal Corpse

42. "The Camera Eye" - Rush

41. "They're Gonna Taste Great" - Kellogs Frosties

40-31

40. "Old Man" - Neil Young

39. "Touch Me" - The Doors

38. "Fucked to Death" - Devourment

37. "For My Father" - Andy Mckee

36. "Pull the Plug" - Death

35. "The Bad Touch" - The Bloodhound Gang

34. "Chainsaw Gutsfuck" - Mayhem

33. "U Can't Touch This" - MC Hammer

32. "Virus Alert" - Weird Al Yankovic

31. "Bitch I'll Kill Ya" - Yung Dum Basturd

30-21

30."Land Down Under" - Men At Work

29. "Abducted" - Hypocrisy

28. "Strangers Like Me" - Phil Collins

27. "Monochromatic Stains" - Dark Tranquillity

26. "Taste My..." - Chimaira

25. "Die By the Sword" - Slayer

24. "Raped By The Light Of Christ" - At The Gates

23. "Coerced Coexistence" - In Flames

22. "Fuck Her Gently" - Tenacious D

21. "Don't Stand So Close To Me" - The Police

20-11

20. "Breaking Up Is Hard Do Do" - Neil Sedaka

19. "Somebody's Watching Me" - Rockwell

18. "I Get Around" - The Beach Boys

17. "April Come She Will" - Simon & Garfunkel

(especially if it's February)

16. "She Hates Me" - Puddle of Mudd

15. "Why Don't We Do It In The Road" - The Beatles

14. "Relax" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood

13. "Satisfaction" - (The Residents cover. The original Rolling Stones version is fine.)

12. "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"

11 "Violent Pornography" - System of a Down (Unless you're into that sort of thing.)

10-1

10. "Stop" - Pink Floyd

9. "Achy Breaky Heart" - Billy Ray Cyrus

8. "Loser" - Beck

7. "I Touch Myself" - Madonna

6. "Doing Alright With The Boys" - Gary Glitter

5. "Spongebob Squarepants Theme Song" - Weird Al Yankovic

4. "Never Gonna Give You Up" - Rick Astley

3. "Distant Early Warning" - Rush

2. "Here Comes the Bride"

1. "I'm Coming Out" - Diana Ross

Special Addition All Time Song You're Never Supposed to Have Sex To:

0. "You Keep Me Hangin' On!" - Diana Ross and the Supremes