Worst 100 Nonexistent Words of All Time

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100 Animals
99 April Fools Jokes
98 Cartman Wannabes
97 Colors
96 Creatures to have sex with
95 Firefox extensions
94 Foods
93 Gifts to give a friend
92 Harry Potter Spin-offs
91 Inventions
90 Locations
89 LOL Cats
88 Make Out Songs
87 Moments to get a Boner
86 Moments to Laugh
85 Money Making Schemes
84 Movies
83 Nonexistent Words
82 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
81 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
80 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
79 Pokemon Cash-Ins
78 Porn Stars
77 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
76 Weapons
75 Reflections on 2005
74 Reflections on 2006
73 Reflections on 2007
72 Reflections on 2008
71 Reflections on 2009
70 Reflections on 2010
69 Reflections on 2011
68 Reflections on 2012
67 Reflections on 2013
66 Reflections on 2018
65 Reflections on 2022
64 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
63 Remakes
62 Restaurants
61 Self Help Books
60 Sexual Perversions
59 Short Poems
58 Sitcom Catchphrases
57 Songs
56 Songs about Seagulling
55 Songs To Have Sex To
54 Songs To Play At A Funeral
53 Spinoffs
52 Superheroes
51 Things About the '00s
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways of Being a Dick
38 Ways To Be Castrated
37 Ways to be Circumcized
36 Ways to Deliver Bad News
35 Ways to Die
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Religions

This list is paradoxical. All the words on it are, in fact, legally ineligible to be on it, because the characteristic of being on this list refutes their nonexistence. If, however, you would like to take any words off it, and replace them with different words, you cannot, because doing so would make the old words eligible for the list, and the new words ineligible.

101.Bouge (booje)
(n.) Something massive or oversized such as your mother (for you americans out there). As well as anything that makes you think 'holy shit'.

100-91[edit | edit source]

100.Martinated (mar·tin·at·ed)
(n.) Getting owned by someone named Martin.
99.Abdicake (b'd-kk)
(v.) To give up the last piece of cake to someone else.
Example: Is anyone going to eat the last piece of cake? I was but I'll abdicake in your favour.
98.Adminisphere (d-mn's-fîr')
(n.) The levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.
Example: The administration thought it'd be a good idea to replace all 700 of our servers with three mainframes as a way of speeding things up. I'm telling you their brains don't get enough air in that adminisphere.
97.Bafoon (b-fn')
(n.) One who is foolish and distinctly resembles a baboon.
96.Banectomy (b-nek't-m)
(n.) The removal of bruises and other discrepancies on a banana.
95.Shidectomy" The removal of human waste from the body if it does not come out.
94.Winvelope (wn'v-lp)
(n.) Any fancy envelope with an address window cutout. Any dual-pane envelopes that include a return address window.
93.JABUPS (jä-bps)
(acro.) Jargon Articulated By Unintelligible Public Servants.
92.Gangloot (gan'glt)
(n.) A person who leaves all their ski passes on their jacket just to impress people.
91.Ebanatic (-b-nt'k)
(n.) An online bidder who bids relentlessly on an item until he wins without regard to the actual cost - Almost always bidding more than retail.

90-81[edit | edit source]

90.Oralgasmic (ôr'l-gz'mk)
(adj.) A taste that is so great that it puts you on the verge of an orgasm.
Example: The cake girl in The Matrix: Reloaded.
89.Rebootilence (r-bt-'lns)
(n.) An uncomfortable amount of time one has to wait while rebooting their computer.
87.Zampeachie (zm-p'ch)
(n.) A person who consumes a number of peaches while being threatened by a green flamingo.
86.Quotimer (kw-t-m'r)
(n.) One who insists on quoting from other instant messenger conversations to make a joke in another.
85.Lamien (lm-'n)
(n.) A person who is purported to be evil and frightening, but is in fact just lame. Origins: From "Damien", antagonist from "The Omen" films.
Example: "Freddy Krueger may have been scary at one time, now he's just a lamien."
84.Negatile (ng'-tl)
(n.) An area of the bathroom floor where, somehow, the scale registers one to be five pounds lighter.
83.Deadvertise (dd'vr-tz')
(v.tr.) 1
82.Paddywaggle (pd'-wg-l)
(v.) To screw around.
Example: Hey, Patrick, if you paddywaggle on your way home, you'll get run over!
81.Jesufied (g-z-fd)
(v.in.) To be martyred. To take the wrap for something knowing they will get in the least amount of trouble. Also: Jesuficated - To be Jesufied while everyone else gets off scott free.
Example: Knowing his friends would get in more trouble than he, Ray Jesufied himself and told the police officer all the booze was his.

80-71[edit | edit source]

80.Fantanation (fn'tn'shn)
(n.) To have a very creative mystical immagination. As in: "You have a great fantanation."
79.Geekening (g'kn-ng)
(v.) The process of becoming a geek. See also: geekify.
78.Ack (k)
(interj.) An exclamation used when one is angry or upset.
Example: "Ack! I got an F on this test… My parents are gonna kill me."
77.Caffeinatic (k'f'nt'k)
(n.) Someone who is a fanatic regarding their caffeine consumption.
75.Vaseless (vs'ls)
(adj.) The state of lacking flower vases. Other forms include vaselessness.
(n.) A word invented by and for gay people to describe both fierceness and gayness at the same time, similar to fagginess.
75.ID10T (-d-tn-t)
(adj.) Describes a computer "error," which is really user incompetence. Commonly used in computer circles. Origins: ID10T looks like idiot. The added 10 gives the word a binary feel.
Example: "Yeah, Ms. Wormwood made an ID10T mistake."
74.Backspackle (bk-spk'l)
(n.) Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle in mud.
73.Cacker-whacker (k-ah-ker-whah-ker)
(n.) A weed whacker designed specifically to chop off large peckers.
72.Framulous (fram-yoo-luss)
(adj.) Used by art gallery managers to describe something that is both fabulous and capable of being be framed as a wall-hanging, such as a life-sized oil painting of Cher. Also used by corrupt politicians.
Example: "That Warhol Jackie-O repro is absolutely framulous!"
71.Smurfectomy (ha-l'k hoh-gen)
(n.) A medical procedure designed to return natural colour tone to skin that has turned blue.

70-61[edit | edit source]

70.Viagrophy (vi-ag-ra'-fee)
(n.) A class of biography or autobiography written in a highly creative and selective manner to make the subject (inevitably someone still living and within the public eye) appear harder and more sexually interesting than normal.
69.Boujee (boo-gee)
(adj.) A combination of fancy and bourgeois for ghetto people that can't spell bourgeois.
(n.) Similar to camel-toe.
67.Jilging (Džil-ging)
(?) A state where a person thinks who they are when they weren't when they haven't been what they have been who they haven't been at all.
66.Shig (Šig)
(n.) Quantity that is bigger than 0 and smaller than -1 at the same time.
65.Jewmama (g-U-mah-mah)
Your mother Heb-man.
64.Farquartette (far-CWar-tette)
Four members of the Farquar family family when they sing.
63.Ringtoniate (ring-TONE-e-ate)
(v.)The act of letting your phone ring so people will listen to your stupid ringtone that you think is really cool but is actually quite gay.
Example: "Why would anyone ringtoniate a frog?"
62.Hollerfront (AH-aha-ahaha )
Derived from the Northern Territory (Aus). Created by Tim Bastian, the word suggests that you will "brb" and are asking someone to "wait"//"Hold the Front" until you return to MSN messenger which this word is commonly used in. Originally used as slang from asian rapper, JIN
61.Aquasalinate (A-kwa-sal-in-eight)
(v.) The exercise in which one adds salt to water, just for the effect of annoyancy (check below)
Example: "Hey wtf you aquasalinated my water wtf?? now im dehydrated."

60-51[edit | edit source]

60.Annoyancy (A-noy-in-sea)
(n.) An effect in which one becomes annoyed.
59.Guesstimate (Gess-ti-mate)
(v.) We've all heard this one… UPDATE: This word now appears in Webster's dictionary
58.Scandalitude (Scan-dal-i-tude)
orig. George W. Bush: (n.) An action rife with illegitimacy. Almost always used in the form a lot of ____ or full of ____ e.x. "Al Gore's supposed recount is filled with scandalitude."
57.Quelt (Kwelt)
(v.) The act of quelting. e.g. To quelt something.
59.Hylkish (Hjülk-iš)
(a.) Something gray and big. (possibly elephant)
58.Unughzanny (An-ugh-zan-ni)
(a.) Something white and small. (possibly paracetamol)
57.Bozone (B'o-Zh0-n-e)
(n.) A layer of gases surrounding an unintelligent individual, shielding them from good ideas.
56.Illiterate at football (Ihl-eit-eriathe @ fuht-bawl)
(a.) Insulting someone at their skill in football, only to look like an idiot. (i.e. "Kelsey Gentner")
55.Clemen ( ©£33-(\/)€n) )
Portmanteau of the words clitoris and semen. It refers to the foul-smelling, yet sweet, liquid which comes out of a girl's thingy during a Female orgasm (but only if you're doing it right).
54.Como (Omoc)
(n.) Fat, obnoxious, stupid, retarded person who calls everybody "gay"
53.Genosity (Gee-noh-zih-tee)
(n.) The rate at which a gene genes.
Example: "Hey, look at them genes go! The genosity is almost off the scale!"
52.Zloboscope (Zloah-boh-skoape)
(n.) Instrument to inspect, view and also measure Zorkian Large Objects (ZLOBs).
Example: "Could you please pass me the zloboscope, nurse, I think this patient has an exceptional ZLOB! Never seen one this colour before! And it is big!"
51.Antiunderivitize (an-ti-un-der-iv-i-tize)
(v.) In calculus, the act of taking a derivative for the sole purpose of pissing off your calculus teacher. Antiunderivitize ≈ Antiintegralization. QED.

50-41[edit | edit source]

50.Underbamboozled (an-der-bam-boo-zld)
(adj) Used for and from jabronis.
49.Digilent (di-gi-lint)
(adj) Portmanteau of "diligence" and "vigilance" meaning "diligent at being vigilant". Years of dodgeball had made digilent for oncoming dodgeballs.
48.Timecubic (TĬM-kuub-ik)
(n.) Of or relating to Nature's Harmonic Four-Sided Timecube.
47.XYZZY (ZIZ-zee)
(n.) The only non-directional noun that can also be used as a verb. Eg. "Open grate! Down! West! XYZZY!"
46.Ballsmack (Ouch.)
(v., n.) When one's scrotum gains sufficient pendular momentum while going down the stairs to hit one's inner thigh, resulting in an embarrassing smacking noise which happens frequently. WARNING: Ballsmack continuation (i.e. repeated and alternating smacking) can result in painful and irksome testicular bruising! If you encounter a ballsmack situation, stop immediately until your balls stop swinging around.
45.Wadge (Wadge)
(v., n., adj, adv.,tr.) The only true versatile word that can be applied to many, many, many situations. Common uses include: "My Wadge is hurting", "Look at that massive wadge!", "Bro, you have a wadge hanging from your nose".
44.Exsqueese (x-sqee-z-mi)
(v.) The art of acting a fool while asking for someone to move. Examples are George W. Bush and Bob's Uncle
43.TonyDanzaphobia (toe-nee-dan-za-fo-bee-a)
(n.) The excessive fear of Tony Danza. Example: "Shut off the TV! Tony Danza in on every channel! Bill has TonyDanzaphobia!" A person possessing TonyDanzaphobia will go into extreme convulsions, crying, or gas releasing when he/she/it spots Tony Danza.
42.Humourectomy (Hyoo-mer-eck-tummy)
(n.) Process of having every last ounce of funny extracted from your brain. Use: "Before becoming an Uncyclopedia admin, you must first undergo a humourectomy."'
41.Spangabolubijubi (span-ger-bol-ooh-bee-jew-bee)
(n.) The fourth tree that ever existed. Use: "Oh look, a Spangabolubijubi in full flower. How nice."'

40-31[edit | edit source]

40.Perilcomboculate (Pe-ril-com-bok-you-late)
(v.) The act of dying. Death. Use: "You shall perilcomboculate in a pit of flames!"'
(int.) A word used to denote randomness and inside jokes. Use: "JIBNEY! Your joke was sooo Jibnaicious.
(v.) The act of toasting paint, or painting toast. Use: Dennis toastpaints to sell toast to Uncyclopedians.
(n.) Mongers/Collecters/Controllers of death. Use: The deathmonger knew it was time for the poor sap to perilcomboculate, so he released a perilcomboculate for him. Another deathmonger picked up the perilcomboculate for reuse someplace else.
36.Ugoogly (yu-GOOGLE-y)
Yes….you know….the thing the ugooglizer says at a funeral….oh come on people….. A UGOOGLY!
(adv.) Used to describe something that is currently happening but is also about to happen. Similar to "oncoming", but inexplicably used on present-tense verbs. See about to be. Use: I think this is a sign of me oncomingly falling asleep.
34.Scalaphobia (scah-lah-foah-bjuh)
(n.) Fear of stairs.
33.Metacop (May-tah-cop)
(n.) An inconcrete concept of copness. Sort of a description what a universal cop should be and behave like. Used in discussions between people all over the world who have had wildly varying experiences with members of their own local police force (and lived through it). Example usage (taken form an actual IRC conversation): "And then the metacop fined me 100 bath for having bad breath". "Wow! A mere 100 bath? I was sentenced to six lashes with the Cat-o-Nine for looking cross-eyed at the Cap'ns daughtir!"
32.Wangsta (WAYNG-stuh)
(n.) A white rapper. See Suburban homeboy.
31.Scroof (skrΏf)
(n.) A sky roof.

30-21[edit | edit source]

30.Sedatious (sedayshuss)
(adj.) You are way too technologically deprived.
29.Voat (V-te)
(v.) To vomit a bit at the back of your throat. All these politicians make me want to voat.
28.Ignoranus (IG-nor-aanis)
(n.) A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
27.Misunderestimate (Miss-under-est-er-mate)
(n.) A word used to fuck up a really important speach.
26.Genocided [Gen-oh-side-ed];
(v.) A word which means to commit genocide against a group, idea, or opponent in a Counterstrike game. "HEADSHOT! Man, you just got genocided!"
25.Instubstantial (in-stub-stan-chul)
(adj.) Being too short and content free to be considered funny or useful.
24.Clandestination (kl-ande-stin-at-un)
(n) The place where someone or something must go secretly. As Mike arrived at the airport he knew the balloon of heroin in his ass neared it's clandestination in Miami.
23.Anvillicious (ann-vill-ish-us)
(adj.) That one word that no one really wants to know but is there.
22.Medicinematic (med-i-sin-e-mat-ic)
(adj.) Using medical jargon, obscure health conditions and CGI anatomy effects paired with dramatic music and melodrama in lieu of solid writing in a TV program. See House M.D., Grey's Anatomy.
(n.) A white nigger. Yes there are many. Ex.: "Eminem, you cockknockin' wigger!"

20-1[edit | edit source]

20.Buttholio (its easy ya dummy)
(n.) Something kids call each other that's not considered a curse word.
19.Queerdo (kweerd-o)
(n.) Half queer, half weirdo.
(adj.) Smurf term for pretty much anything that is what we would call "fucked". They can all go smurf themselves. Means 'i can't be bothered to say anything so get lost', also used to irritate people by repeatedly saying it without saying anything else'
17.Condensationism (con-den-sation-is-m)
(n.) The worship of condensation
16.Klop (ker-lop)
(v.) Means 'I can't be bothered to say anything so please go away.' Also used to irritate people by saying it over and over again without saying anything else.
15.Nuclear (nook-qu-ler)
(adj.) A weapon used to fuck up those Japanese sons-of-a-bitches.
16.Questrillanium (kwez-trill-gork-oot)
(n.) A Journey with no point at all.
15.Fantasmal (fan-taz-mal)
(adj.) Describe something that's so great, it's bad, if that makes any sense.
14.Whalin (wale-in)
(v.) To crawl inside of a whale.
13.Youga (yoo-ga)
(n.) Bendable cheese.
12.Dwachz (duh-wah-chiz)
(n.) 1) An Asian person who works at a tollbooth and gives you the incorrect amount of change.
2) Any Asian person.
11.Snausages (sno-she-jezz)
(n.) Similar to sausages, but with just enough subtle differences to qualify as a separate word. Actually, it is the best word ever. It rode your ma!!!!

10-1[edit | edit source]

10.Skipple (SKIP-pullll)
(v.) To skip over a bunch of numbers on a top 100 list.
9.Fagoon (fag'n)
(n.) One who is both a faggot (in the literal sense, a bundle of sticks, or one who figuratively has the mindset of such) and a goon (a meaningless redshirt-type person who can die without being missed.)
The nipple on a bitch. You lousy brain-dead bastards can't look things up in a proper dictionary!
7.Evilgasm (Eh-Ville-Gas-Him)
(n.) To feel great pleasure from performing an evil act.
(n.) The process by which one or more biscuits are accidentally disintegrated in coffee, thus making it undrinkable.
5.Flaucynaucyhillaphillapication (Flossee-Nossee-Hillah-Fillah-Pucayshun)
(n.) The process described by Steven Hawking as "The process by which one goes from one state of mental retardation to another".
4. Shitbitch
(n.) The latest cussword.
A. A bitch made out of shit.
B. A bitch who is uncommonly bad at what bitches do, and yet charges quite a steep amount.
C. An otherwise nonsensical, vulgar moniker, by which one insults another.
D. A poetic slight.
(v.i.) To complain about something in a situation in which the complaint is either unwarranted, unwanted, or incorrect.
(n.) A non-racial term used to describe someone or something generally disliked by everyone around him/her/it, even those who don't know him. Because he's so insufferably stupid/infantile/naive/know-it-all. Such an insufferable assgoblin/mickey mouse crotch pheasant; a hyper-douchebag.
(adj.) More. Yet more dicknigger Internet slang. Typically coupled with "sauce plz," which means "source, please." "Sauce plz," however, is not quite as awful, given that it's a pun on jizz.
(v. i.) Owned. Always used in passive, past perfect tense. Moar dicknigger Internet slang brought about by some cuntdork's inability to type a five-letter verb. Whoever you are, sauce plz. So I can throw a bomb through your window. Sorry for shitbitching.
The fucko who created this list is a PWNT ass dicknigger. Winnage!!!!!

Honorable Mention[edit | edit source]

Main article: Made up Words