Worst 100 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
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| Contents: 100-91 • 90-81 • 80-71 • 70-61 • 60-51 • 50-41 • 40-31 • 30-21 • 20-11 • 10-1 |
According to the Hogwarts' code of law, at least that's what Professor Snape told me, there are thousands of things that students are not allowed to do at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. According to him, the first and foremost of these offenses, is to become a Gryffindor. The rest and best are listed below, in no particular order, for your viewing pleasure.
100-91[edit | edit source]
- 100. I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "extra herbology work".
- For some reason, Dumbledore created that law several years ago after some Mexican fifth-years grown marijuana, got expelled, and became dangerous drug dealers. Allegedly, the ministry was only able to capture one of these, a Slytherin named El Chapo.}}
- 99. I am not allowed to claim that people with vitiligo are really Volde- I mean, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
- Especially Michael Jackson.}}
- 98. I am not to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see who will survive.
- Additionally, I am not to lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
- 97.I am not to ask Malfoy if "he's the real Slim Shady"
- Snape also told me in Potions that mentioning muggles like Eminem will get me detention.
- 96. I am not to dress up as You-Know-Who on Halloween.
- However, Snape never told me to dress up as someone with vitiligo.
- 95. I will not tell the first years to build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
- Snape will suspend me if that occurs.
- 94. I will not invite a Dementor to Hogwarts on Career Choice Day.
- I hate hot days.
- 93. I will not refer to Dumbledore as "Gandalf the Gay".
- Why not?
- 92. I will not go into the Forbidden Forest and call Centaurs "...filthy half-breeds".
- I don't know why the last teacher went away due to that.
- 91. As a follow-up to the previous rule, I am not to try to convince first-years to do the same.
- Snape will suspend me himself if that occurs.
90-81[edit | edit source]
- 90. I am not allowed to apply the Imperious Curse on myself to see what happens.
- I don't even know what that is. When I asked some older kids, they looked at me funny.
- 89. I am not to tell any Indian students if they've heard of Hari Puttar.
- Additionally, I am, according to Snape, "absolutely never to mention Aabra Ka Daabra, ever."
- 88. I am not to claim that there has, is, or will be a "Bring a Muggle to School" Day.
- When I'm older, I'll bring a muggle to school regardless.
- 87. I am not to try to smuggle any potions to sell on the black market.
- However, he never said if I can sell them normally.
- 86. I am not allowed to make gender-changing potions.
- Harriet Potter will have to transition the Muggle way.
- 85. I will not order Doordash to Hogwarts.
- Luckily for me, Dumbledore never said anything about Uber Eats!
- 84. I cannot claim Mandrakes as dependents on my tax forms.
- They will have to pay their own taxes.
- 83. I will not change my name to Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
- Nor can I change it to Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--.
