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Worst 100 TV Programs of All Time

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According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* TV Programs ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise divine numeration policy.

Too good to be in the worst 100

10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 (One Zillion). Cheetah Girls- The TV Show
Zillions Don't Exist, therefore if a show is a zillion, it does not exist. Sorry
116. Velma Show
Yeah, this is basically Pointless to watch it on HBO
115. The Pwetwerschmits of Rhode Island
This Family Guy spin-off was supposed to replace "Sit Down and Shut Up, John", but would only run for a minute since it offended rich people.
114. Ben Franklin and Hitler:The Odd Couple
Benjamin Franklin and Adolf Hitler live in modern day America. Hilarity ensues.
113. Where's Waldo?
Made for kids. Consists of sitting very close to the TV and staring at static images searching for Waldo and his friends.
112. The Frankenstones
Popular scientific TV show in which archaeologists try to bring prehistoric human remains back to life.
111. I Love the '40s
Cancelled after it became a cult show amongst neo-Nazis.
Montezuma's Floating Circus was party based on Aztec manuscripts. Shown here is Ahuizotl on a boat, together with a rather large foot.
110. Keeping Up Disappearances
Very cheap remakte of Keeping Up Appearences. The entire series was made without any actors whatsoever.
109. Pirate Pat
Postman Pat haunts the English countryside in his bright red post van.
108. Montezuma's Floating Circus
An absurdist comedy set in Aztec Mexico. Most sketches are in Nahuatl.
107. Schoolhouse Rock
Set in the Austrian Alps of the 1930s, the show followed the lives of five thirty-something SS officers who worked undercover at a high school for the performing arts. The very first German television program, animated.
106. Children In Captivity
Charity Telethon hosted by Terry Wogan, in which several hundred schoolchildren, (most probably from Birmingham, or Lampeter), are locked in individual cupboards until viewers pledge totals of upwards of 17,000,000. Also, be sure to include large yellow bear.
105. MySpace - The TV Show
A short-lived TV show about internet phenomenon MySpace. 4w3som3 haxx0rz lives with his roommate, {~!I Am Slowly Dying!~). While haxx0rz tries to haxx0rz other people's accounts, Slowly Dying just sits around and mopes about how much life sucks. The third and final episode featured a cameo by Oscar Wilde.
104. The Girl Who Wasn't Too Popular, But Was Kinda Popular
Disney Channel show about semi-attractive 14-year-old jailbait, her two weird friends (a weird girl and a guy who secretly likes her), the one guy who's totally hot that she has a crush on but totally doesn't notice she exists, the cheerleader who hates her, and her crazy teacher (played by Oscar Wilde). A guaranteed hit until they stop promoting it for the next show with the exact same formula.
103. The Real World - Harkstede
Dutch sitcom with three guys, a TV and no girls at all. Quite popular in South Dakota. MTV, the brain behind the program, plans to send in Japan too.
102. Dead Man Walking
Controversial American reality T.V. show - take ten heartless killers off Death Row and put them in a house with cameras watching their every move. See them come to understand each other as they make friends in the house. But there's one twist they weren't told about - at the end of every week, the public vote one of them to be executed live on T.V. that night! In a chilling turn, the housemates can choose their fallen comrades method of death: will it be hanging, gas chamber, lethal injection, or firing squad - or something more exotic, like a lion pit or the Iron Maiden? At the end of nine weeks, one housemate will walk out into the world a free man, with B-list celebritydom guaranteed.
101. CSS: Miami
The first of 26 spinoffs of the popular CSS: Las Vegas. Like the original, the show chronicles the work of a team of high-tech web developers as they struggle to resolve cross-browser incompatibilities and the limitations of the CSS2 standard.

Worst 100 starts here

100. The Reich Stuff
US-based historical drama detailing the patriotic work done by former Nazi war criminals in the race to put an American on the Moon.
99. Children in Need
Patronising celebraties pimp the nation to pay for new cars and expensive carpets for registered charities.
98. Muffin the Mule
Quaint 1950s porn, featuring a youthful Camilla Parker-Bowles.
97. The Fall Guy
Lee Majors has no sense of balance, and can only run in slow motion.
96. The Simpsons
Talentless sisters Jessica and Ashlee live with their father O.J. Simpson ('Omer Jay) and their dead mother.
Mr. Bean is watching you, a bizarre reality show starring the former actor, shows him stalking various women and getting into other disturbing situations.
95. Friends
Camp humour with several 30-something neighbours in same sex relationships.
94. Roots
Black produce engineer Kunti Kinte discovers his name is Toby.
93. Saved by the Bell End
Final episode was watched by no fewer than 17 people worldwide, this high school teen docudrama destroyed the careers of 82 aspiring actors, especially "Screech!". Thank goodness.
92. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Not as amusing as Prick Up Your Ears.
91. Baywatch
Strangely hypnotic.
90. Tellytubbies
Four effeminate aliens (StinkyWinky, LardArse, DipShit and Poo) prance around with an animated household appliance. Then they come out.
89. Gandhi - The Animated Series
Featuring the vocal talents of Alfred Molina and Gary Oldman.
88. Babylon 5
Docudrama detailing the everyday stuggles of five innocent "freedom fighters" wrongly imprisoned by oppressive Western infidels. Starring Keira Knightley as Private Lynndie England.
Voiced by Andrew Dice Clay, The Adventures of Zoomo: The Happy Sheep follows the career of Zoomo and his profanity laced rantings on the Bush administration.
87. Dallas
Sitcom set in the Windy City, featuring the Carrington Clan, the most famous episode is "Who Shot On JR?"
86. 3rd Rock From The Sun
A science fiction drama that takes place in the year 2172 set on an asteroid, which is the real third rock from the sun.
85. 24
Highly competitive adults fight to take home first place in the simple middle school math skills game. The answer, though, is 42.
84. King of Queens
Reality show where weekly musical numbers are judged by Richard Simmons and Nathan Lane, the loser is voted off the cabaret.
83. Unwrapped
Documentary from the early 1990s about teens discovering what unprotected sex finally feels like.
82. Coronation Street
Long running sitcom based in the Grim North of England. Available in over 14 languages (excluding French) other than the original native Lancashire dialect.
81. Retards say the Darndest Things
Bill Cosby interviews the mentally handicapped with rarely humorous results.
The short lived spin off which were in actuality undubbed reruns of the original series.
80. Battlestar Guadalajara
79. Airing Out the Cupboards
Three volunteers visit the elderly and open their kitchen cupboards for an hour. Show consists of watching them wait until it is time to close the doors.
78. What Not To Wear
Two fat tarts teach other fat tarts how to dress.
77. Eastenders
Cor blimey! A crash course in how NOT to speak English, with this collection of jovial Cockney types, govn'r. Up d' apples and pears.....
76. Dienasty
Another bloody awful American soap opera complete with wobbly sets.
75. Fiends
Sitcom about 6 fiends who are complete bastards to one another.
74. Extreme Makeover - Funeral Home Edition
Expert morticians and taxidermists take horribly disfigured corpses and transform them into "open casket material".
73. Alf
A documentary series that followed the activities of an alien creature with a remarkable nose. His mission was to test the strength of our global defenses in preparation for the 'first wave'.
72. Airport 75 Challenge
Gameshow in which contestants in an air traffic control tower attempt to talk a spouse dressed as a stewardess in the cockpit of a stricken Boeing 747 laden with cash and prizes through an emergency landing.
71. We Done Had A Row
Live call in show in which Anne Robinson fields inarticulate mobile phone calls from drunken proletarian males who've just held bitter post-pub arguments with their girlfriends.
70. Who Said That?
Quickfire game show with four hosts and two schizophrenic contestants.
69. Jerkcity
A sitcom adaptation of the web comic. Numerous complaints to the FCC about its jokes and the fact that the episodes made little sense (although they were often hilariously funny) led to the series cancelation. Most noted for introducing "HUGLAGHALGHALGHAL" into the English lexicon.
Although featuring some elements of German expressionism, "Off" has little else to offer.
68. Yamaha Tramps
Organ music performed by vagrants.
67. When Animals Are Goaded With Sticks 3
More hilarious camcorder footage of jar-headed American outdoorsmen discovering the ugly side of Mother Nature first hand.
A bunch of muscular guys in underwear roll around the floor with each other in order to prove their manliness.
65. Off
The Imagination Channel's pathetic attempt to save money on production costs. Viewer are asked to pretend that their favorite show is playing.
64. Ship Of Fools
Hilarious documentary series in which a crew of backwards imbeciles is left in charge of a full-size ocean liner set adrift in the Mediterranean - with hundreds of hidden cameras on board to capture the action as a real-life comedy of errors is played out.
65. £200 For The First Person Who Can Eat An Entire Bath Towel Live On Camera
Self-explanatory late-night gameshow for the genuinely desperate.
64. Centrifuge Bay
Australian soap opera made entirely on a set housed within a gigantic centrifuge and shot with cameras bolted to the rotating floor, thereby creating an eerie effect in which the furniture and cast slowly slide away from the centre of the room and end up hopelessly pinned against the walls at the end of each episode.
63. The Real Topless Quincy
Documentary following the grisly work of nude LA coroner Sherri Thompson.
62. ER
Er, what? Er, we couldn't think of a title?
61. CSI Birmingham, England
Dead Brummies, featuring Ozzy Osbourne.
60. The Magic Noose
Incredibly irresponsible children's drama series about a group of children who take it in turns to climb up on a stool and poke their heads through a special noose which magically transports them to a beautiful forest filled with chocolate and toys.
59. Y*M*C*A
Set during the Korean War but intended to make fun of the Vietnam War, the Village People run a YMCA near the front lines.
58. Chaotic
Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline turn their home movies into episodic television.
57. Dr. WHAT?
A science fiction serial from England about a time traveller who is hard of hearing.
56. Who wants to be a busboy in an American restaurant?
A Nicaraguan game show where the contestant progressively wins working visas to various countries where they can be paid well working as a busboy.
The Adventures of "Buckethead" Kelly, an animated mini-series by the creators of South Park, mark the first foray into the historical genre in this documentary on the life of Australian cyborg Ned Kelly.
55. Bob the British Tradesman
A claymation children's program about a British tradesman who continually produces below-standard work while charging customers high prices.
54. Space 1799
An expansionist American government colonises the moon and ends up in open war with British settlers. The resulting war causes the moon to fly out of orbit and into deep space, where the victorious American armies are forced to deal with all sorts of weird stuff.
53. Big Brain
A highly intellectual BBC comedy series that was received well by viewers with postgraduate degrees.
52. Crappy Days
A comedy about life in 1950s Newark.
51. Old Black Whistle Test
An influential British television music show dedicated to Gothic music.

From 50 to 31

50. Monty Python's Incredibly Funny TV Series That Was Never Broadcast Because Some Twit At The BBC Lost The Footage Thus Bringing Into Question The Actual Existence Of The Show Especially Since The Members Of Monty Python Deny That Such A Show Was Ever Produced But Its Really Paradoxical To Contemplate What Might Have Happened Had Such A Show Actually Been Broadcast Since It Would Never Have Had This Title In The First Place Now Would It?
An alleged British comedy show created by the Monty Python troupe that was never broadcast, reportedly because a civil servant at the BBC somehow lost the footage. This has brought the existence of the show into question, especially since all members of the Monty Python group deny that the show was produced in the first place. Moreover, it is obvious that, even if the show had been broadcast, then its self-referential title would have been incorrect, thus creating a paradox.
Gene Shalit preparing for the 8th season of Blakie's Seven.
49. Blakie's Seven
'70s British sci-fi drama about an intergalactic travel service's employees, starring Gene Shalit as Blakie.
48. When Animals Are Goaded With Sticks
Hilarious camcorder footage of jar-headed American outdoorsmen discovering the ugly side of Mother Nature first hand.
47. America's Gunniest High Schools
Incredible real-life footage from the bullet-pocked school hallways of the world's most shooty society.
46. Shout Court
Genuine legal disputes settled according to which side can bellow their version of events the loudest.
45. Horse Puppet Disco
Ground-breaking dance music show in which retired racehorses are transformed into dancing marionettes via a system of wires attached to each hoof, controlled by skilled puppeteers operating an immense mechanical rig.
44. Before They Were Demonised
Angus Deayton takes an amusing look back at Osama Bin Laden's early appearances in daytime gameshows and Slimfast commercials.
43. Full House
R-rated documentary depicting the daily life of three teenage poker addicts, their subsequent gambling and bankruptcy, and their final enslavement by three male pimps, one of whom is Mr. Tanner from "Alf".
42. Come Dancing
All that rubbing against chiffon no doubt.
41. Inside Animals
Pinhead cameras fitted to the tips of drills take you deep inside your favourite animals by boring through their sides.
Satan and Me, an anime documentary, follows the adventures of a teenage Saddam Hussein and his pokemon Satan as they travel the world in search of new opponents.
40. Goldfish Bay
Soap opera aimed at domestic goldfish with a two second memory span, featuring a comprehensive plot recap every 1.5 seconds.
39. Rise Up And Kill
Mesmerising audio-visual assault on the senses, featuring re-enactments of medieval executions intercut with hardcore pornography and set to a soundtrack of dark organ music and sinister subliminal whispering specifically designed to compel viewers to perpetrate violent atrocities.
38. Fame For A Finger
Carol Vorderman offers a member of the public the chance to star alongside a cast of celebrities dramatising their life - providing they slice off one of their own fingers with a bread knife beforehand.
37. That Ain't Workin'
Primitive computer-animated sitcom starring the removal men from Dire Straits' Money For Nothing video.
36. Boom Goes Lovergirl
Hilarious hidden camera action as insular nerds spend weeks being led up the garden path by sophisticated androids posing as attractive women, secretly wired to explode the moment the word 'love' is spoken aloud.
35. DeathCamp 2000
Eastern European competitive game show where musclebound costumed contestants wipe out the ethnic minority of their choice. Released in the US under the title "Foreign Policy".
...thank God for bimbos.
34. Whose Fault Is It Anyway?
A world wide hit starring celebrities, activists, and world leaders all trying to pin the blame for their own mistakes on somone else. It's a microcosm of everyday life, but with celebrities and world leaders - TV Guide
33. Dr. Mengele
A daytime talk show spun off from Oprah featuring none other then the Angel of Death himself, Dr. Josef Mengele.
32. Peg-leg Beatletart Stumpdance
Heather Mills McCartney taps out rhythms to Beatles songs on her detached wooden leg whilst viewers call in and guess the tune for cash prizes.
31. World's Craziest PC Upgrades
Watch in horror as geek wannabes attempt to view Windows XP on EGA screens, run a 2 Ghz processor with 32mb RAM, underclock their 486SX-33s and install multiple maths co-processor cards into networked 286 computers so they can indulge in multiplayer Quake.

From 30 to 11

30. Rich, Stupid and Drunk
A reality-based program which shows rich people destroying or ruining expensive things because they can (and because they're drunk). Segments include: a frat boy giving his Cartier watch to a homeless man, then beating and robbing him that night so he can smash it with a hammer; a man who defecates on his Picasso then hangs it up again; a woman who announces in a crowd that she is throwing away her $1 million pearl necklace, removes the string holding the pearls together, and then hurls it into the stunned crowd.
Four guys in a van with construction gear and a fondness for uniforms
29. The Gay Team
Delightfully camp 1980s classic TV series "The Gay Team", thought by many to be the original influence for the latter A Team. It has been noted that the names of the main characters DO bare a slight resemblance, as well as having the same cast, writers, production team....
28. Louie Anderson's Big Fat Gay Greek Wedding
Louie Anderson marries a Russian Transvestite, and manages to get in wacky hijinks, like getting stuck on the toilet every fucking episode.
27. Pobol y Kumquat
Welsh language series, shown on S4C, depicting the lives of a small community of fruit importers from the valleys.
26. Law and Order - Delicatessen Division
Crime never sleeps, and those who fight it need doughnuts. THIS is their story.
25. Only Fools and Horses
Docudrama detailing the lives and loves of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles.
24. Skippy the Bushed Kangaroo
"What's that Skippy, you're standing in the corner rocking from side to side?" Years of captivity have taken their toll on the old marsupial.
23. Peggy Pissflaps
Children's series featuring ragdoll Peggy on trips to the countryside with Mr Jolly.
22. Last of the Summer Whine
Geriatric humour set in the Alzheimer's capital of Yorkshire.
21. Barney the Carnivorous Dinosaur
A fun-loving purple dinosaur that devours children and digests their innards. "Hey kids, lets play hidden predator!!!!".....
20 (Tie). One Foot in the Groin
Sitcom about a family of cantankerous football hooligans.
20 (Tie). Miami Vice Presidents
A one hour crime-fighting show starring Al Gore and Dan Quayle fighting evil criminals such as Bag Ladies, Jaywalkers, and Street Artists.
There is no #19 on this list therefore there is no 19th worst TV program. Sorry.
18. Who's the Boss?
A half hour comedy starring Tony Danza, Tom Cruise, Roseanne, and Rosie O'Donnell all arguing about who the boss really was, until Tony Danza, in a brilliant moment of comedic expertise goes "A-oh, oh-a!" and wins the argument.
17. Touched by a Big Fat Scary Black Woman
A one hour drama starring Star Jones dressed up as an angel that goes around scaring the shit out of everyone. Sadly enough, almost every episode revolves around her eating 50 Big Macs in one sitting.
16. The Richard Simmons Show
Need I say more?
15. Touch my Arse
Late night UK game show, where blindfolded couples have to feel a selection of arses, winning prizes if they find their partner.
14. The Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late Show
So late, its early the next day.
The Late Late Late Show, despite its lack of content, has remained in syndication since the 1950s.
13. Clean Up Aisle Seven Party Castle
Japanese game show were contestants have to catch facefulls of Spooge, in exchange for strange cheap mass-produced prizes.
12. Joe Camel and Friends
An early Saturday morning cartoon show directed at children. Also featured on the show was the Marlboro Man. Most of each show was spent talking about how they did not want kids to enjoy the smooth, rich, satisfying flavor of the blend of three Turkish tobaccos.
11. Trading Kidneys
While it was a reasonably informative, though extremely dull, medical drama for its first few episodes, the producers' desire to "sex things up" by matching kidneys from seemingly opposite personalities, rather than the more medically-sound practice of looking for donor compatibility, resulted in dozens of lawsuits that bankrupted the show's production company.
10. Showgirls SG-1
The adventures of four US Air Force officers who discover an ancient device capable of producing free backstage passes for every strip club in Las Vegas. Starring Richard Tailhook Anderson as Lt. Col. Jack "Officer" O'Yeahbaby.

Darkest 10 starts here

9. Showgirls Atlantic City
More US Air Force personnel get in on the act when yet another ancient device is found, this one capable of producing phone numbers for every mob-operated escort service on the Jersey Shore.
8. Riyadh 911!
A spin-off of the popular Reno 911!, it features incompetent members of the religious police known as the mutaween. Unfortunately, due to the repressive nature of the Saudi Arabian regime, the worst vices we ever see are women who don't cover their head and men who shave their beards. It is not very funny and is really a sad commentary on Saudi society.
7. Absolutely Crapulous
A hidden camera follows two female British drug-addicted alcoholics through a harrowing (and at times disgusting) detoxification process, with several appearances by Marianne Faithfull as herself.
6. My Wife and Kids
Damon Wayans plays a horribly inept actor portraying a horribly inept father.
5. 8 Different Colored Stripes With a Lot of Small Black and White Stripes Below That and a White Line Going Left and Right in Front of the Rectangle All the Time
Plus lots of more including sound which is heard when someone uses curse words a lot. Was so popular that it begun to air on most of the television channels after the main schedule ended.
4. Mrs Gray's Knitting Show
Learn the most twisting and challenging moves of knitting. Not recommended for faint-hearted.

Top 3

3. Comrade Rogerov's Neighborhood
A short-lived Soviet version of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Taught kids that we're all equal, and nobody is special.
2. Good Mahning Bahston!
While quite popular in Massachusetts, all of the show's anchors had wicked hangovers and spoke in an accent that only other Bostoners could understand. Often, there would be drunken anti-New York Yankee rants every fifteen minutes or so. It was taped at Fenway Park.
1. Jim Stevens' Bavarian Beer Bonana!
A short lived public access show about getting drunk and wearing lederhosen, Mr. Stevens, of Green Bay, Wisconsin, was neither German nor the most the "imported beers". In fact the farthest away his beer came from was the Miller Brewery in Milwaukee. However, he should be commended for his brave attempt to have a show about beer on Saturday mornings.

So Bad They Are Worse Than The Top 100

0. Lost
A reality show where a film crew follows the child of a rich family and his kidnappers. Hilarity ensues when the family refuses to pay the ransom despite the threat of their child's impending murder.
-0. Friends Reunion
-0 is another number that doesn't exist, so that means if a show is -0 , it doesn't exist either. Sorry.

Honorable Mention

100 Animals
99 April Fools Jokes
98 Cartman Wannabes
97 Colors
96 Creatures to have sex with
95 Firefox extensions
94 Foods
93 Gifts to give a friend
92 Harry Potter Spin-offs
91 Inventions
90 Locations
89 LOL Cats
88 Make Out Songs
87 Moments to get a Boner
86 Moments to Laugh
85 Money Making Schemes
84 Movies
83 Nonexistent Words
82 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
81 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
80 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
79 Pokemon Cash-Ins
78 Porn Stars
77 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
76 Weapons
75 Reflections on 2005
74 Reflections on 2006
73 Reflections on 2007
72 Reflections on 2008
71 Reflections on 2009
70 Reflections on 2010
69 Reflections on 2011
68 Reflections on 2012
67 Reflections on 2013
66 Reflections on 2018
65 Reflections on 2022
64 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
63 Remakes
62 Restaurants
61 Self Help Books
60 Sexual Perversions
59 Short Poems
58 Sitcom Catchphrases
57 Songs
56 Songs about Seagulling
55 Songs To Have Sex To
54 Songs To Play At A Funeral
53 Spinoffs
52 Superheroes
51 Things About the '00s
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways of Being a Dick
38 Ways To Be Castrated
37 Ways to be Circumcized
36 Ways to Deliver Bad News
35 Ways to Die
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Religions