Worst 100 Creatures To Have Sex With

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The top Worst 100 Creatures To Have Sex With in all kinds (i.e. Oral, anal, etc.). There are important reasons not to have sex with these creatures, and some are too horrible to explain. It all happened one day when a friend of mine experimented by having sex with different creatures. Since that tragic incident on, I listed the most important creatures not to have sex with (just have it with a horse if you can't make it with a lady).

You may want to use precautions when having sex with any of the following creatures:

100-91[edit]

100. Dragon
Though, considering how large they are, they can still rip off your genitals.
99. Dinosaur
Very similar to dragons, except older!
98. Wooly mammoth
If you're lucky enough to get through all that hair without getting squashed.
97. Balloon Animals
Ever seen a fully-expanded balloon boner?
96. Skunk
Filth be upon you for thee who hump thy noble skunk
95. Pony
Ask princess molestia
94. Wild ass
They shit all over you
93. Raptors with chainsaws
It is written... Only Leatherface can hump these things.
92. Humpback whale
A creature with a name that makes it a way too obvious subject
91.1. Osama Bin Laden
Luckily he's dead... Or IS HE?

90-81[edit]

90. Leatherface
And what do you think you're doing?
89. Flea
Try humping it without squashing it.
88. Jollibee
Molest
87. Zombie Ladies
If you did, congratulations! You got AIDS, and you are going to give birth to a corpse.
84. American
all of them are overweight and/or stupid.
83. Elmo
How do you procreate with a puppet anyways?
82. Yourself
If you are flexible enough
81. Pinkie Pie
She might "cupcake" you out.
Do not believe. She's a psychopath (Or a cannibal).

80-71[edit]

80. pikachu
you will be shocked
79. Twilight Sparkle
She will horn drill you
78. Camper
You know the reason why they roast weinies on a stick? Because your's came along.
77. George Bush
Burning Bush
76. Black hole
If you did get your cock in there, you may never see it again!
75. Sunni Daze
That horrifying prick
74. Black guy
Like Blu Mankuma
73. Kangaroo
You will suffer excruciating pain from an epic crotch-kick.
72. Your girlfriend's brother's son after taking a shit without wiping his ass
Sounds more horrible than you think
71. Any girl who watches Twilight
Anyone who makes out of them turned into a mother

70-61[edit]

70. Your Dad
Way worse than 72
69. Narwhal
Unless you want a dick kebab
68. Anteater
Do you really feel safe being naked near a creature with a tongue like that!?
67. Bill Gates
You will become a very rich man
66.6. Antichrist
Just think about it
65. Squidward
He has a dick for a nose. Why else do you think he doesn't wear pants?
64. Electric eel
You may need a rubber condom, or a penis made of silicon
63. Griffins
I'm not procreating with those lion-bird things!
62. Peter Griffin
I take it back!
61. Zeus
Reason why Kratos wants revenge

60-51[edit]

60. Grue
How can a man have sex with that?
59. a three-year old
Pedo, much?
58. Sarah Palin
NO.
57. Death
Once touched, never live again, even if its a virgin
56. Chief Man Who Dreams Of Sky
He's busy. Probably praying to his magical sky daddy
55. Bigfoot
Why make love with a big hairy monkey thing that doesn't exist?
54. Doctor Octagonapus
BLAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!
53. Mickey Mouse
Disney-style sex with a talking animal. Need I say more?
52. Cock
Although it's named after "Cock", it will surely give you bird flu.
51. Your son
What Zeus does often to Kratos.

50-41[edit]

50. Athena
"My beauty killed you"
49. The Foot
Silly filly, there's no hole in there
48. The Lava Monsters
Roasted Man-Stick Barbecue, best served hot
47. The school bully
Unless you're a jock.
46. Prostitute
Unless if trained
45. A hive of Killer Bees
Though normal bees are fine. I did it, and attracted many chicks with the biggest swoolen dick in the world. Maybe I'll do it again.
44. Human
Don't get me started there.
43. Chuck Norris
You touch it, you KICK it
42. The Doctor
See the number?
41. Murtaugh
He'll make a Karma Portal out of your dick for that

40-21[edit]

40. Demons
They cause hell.
39. Glenn Quagmire
Don't bother. He'll have already raped you by the time you even think about it.
GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO
38. Imelda Marcos
Her shoes have the answer.
37. El Chupacabras
Not only will you have made it with a Mexican, but you'll have goat's blood all over you!
36. Rayquaza
It will use hyperbeam on ya, giving you a charred penis
35. Fidel Castro
He likes Cigars
34. Judas Iscariot
Since he betrayed Jesus Christ, he might do the same to you
33. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Mutated AIDS, STD, many other diseases
32. Freddy Mercury
He died of AIDS, you had sex with him, you got AIDS, die, end.
31. Hatsune Miku
Congratulations, you are offically a Weeaboo.
30. King Leonidas
TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL
29. Bull
Unless you want to be tossed and trampled like a crushed Caesar salad.
28. Me
THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US
27. Cthulhu
Tentacle rape, much?
26. Wild bush car
You'll be run over. D'uh!
25. Snapping turtle
Sounds painful, but not as bad as #24.
24. Shark
It not only won't give it back, but will then have a nice meal at your expense.
23. Piranha
Worse than sharks and snapping turtles combined.
22. Baby clown
I get nightmares thinking about it.
21. Jason Voorhees
Serial killer, request coitus, die, ???, PROFIT

20-11[edit]

20. Pedobear
May give sensation and not discomfort if 91 years old above
19. Grandma
The older the ass, the filthier
18. Ash ketchum
he is gay which explains why he never makes out with those pokemon girls
17. Rarity
ಠ3ಠ
16. Robotnik
snooPINGAS usual, I see?
15. Blackbeard
You wanna have sex with a pirate? I didn't think so.
14. Vikings
Way worse than pirates.
13. Walrus
You'll need an oxygen tube for this one
12. Sumo Wrestler
You'll need an oxygen tube for this one too
11. Hindu people
Kamasutra is the only reason why.

10-01[edit]

10. Platypus
It's already two animals at once, and Nature doesn't need another freak.
09. Ferret
Or any other small furry bastard that climbs up your pants and bites off your balls.
08. Hillbillies
For anyone who got kidnapped by one and ended up getting raped inside a log cabin.
07. Things
No! Please Not Those Things!
06. Martians
Not only because they're very foreign, but do you really wanna know where their privates are located?
05. Cannibal
May get hungry and mistake your dick for a Vienna sausage.
04. Ganon
YOU DARE BRING YOUR PENIS INTO MY LAIR? YOU MUST DIE!
03. A guy who looks like you
Like having sex with yourself but worse
02. Porcupine
Do I need to explain why?
01. Justin Bieber
Holy Shit! Who on the planet would want to procreate with this creature?!
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