The top Worst 100 Creatures To Have Sex With in all kinds (i.e|Oral, anal, etc.). There are important reasons not to have sex with these creatures, and some are too horrible to explain. It all happened one day when a friend of mine experimented by having sex with different creatures. Since that tragic incident on, I listed the most important creatures not to have sex with (just have it with a horse if you can't make it with a lady).
You may want to use precautions when having sex with any of the following creatures:
100.Dragon: Though, considering how large they are, they can still rip off your genitals.
99.Dinosaur: Very similar to dragons, except older!
98.Wooly mammoth: If you're lucky enough to get through all that hair without getting squashed.
96.Skunk: Filth be upon you for thee who hump thy noble skunk.
92.Humpback whale: A creature with a name that makes it a way too obvious subject.
89.Flea: Try humping it without squashing it.
84.American: all of them are overweight and/or stupid.
83.Elmo: How do you procreate with a puppet anyways?
82.Yourself: If you are flexible enough.
78.Camper: You know the reason why they roast weinies on a stick? Because your's came along.
76.Black hole: If you did get your cock in there, you may never see it again!
73.Kangaroo: You will suffer excruciating pain from an epic crotch-kick.
68.Anteater: Do you really feel safe being naked near a creature with a tongue like that!?
65.Squidward: He has a dick for a nose. Why else do you think he doesn't wear pants?
64.Electric eel: You may need a rubber condom, or a penis made of silicon.
63.Griffins: I'm not procreating with those lion-bird things!
61.Zeus: Reason why Kratos wants revenge.
60.Grue: How can a man have sex with that?
57.Death: Once touched, never live again, even if it's a virgin.
55.Bigfoot: Why make love with a big hairy monkey thing that doesn't exist?
54.Doctor Octagonapus: BLAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!
53.Mickey Mouse: Disney-style sex with a talking animal. Need I say more?
52.Cock: Although it's named after "Cock", it will surely give you bird flu.
51.Your son: What Zeus does often to Kratos.
50.Athena: "My beauty killed you!"
45.A hive of Killer Bees: Though normal bees are fine. I did it, and attracted many chicks with the biggest swoolen dick in the world. Maybe I'll do it again.
44.Human: Don't get me started there.
39.Glenn Quagmire: Don't bother. He'll have already raped you by the time you even think about it.
38.Imelda Marcos: Her shoes have the answer.
37.El Chupacabras: Not only will you have made it with a Mexican, but you'll have goat's blood all over you!
36.Rayquaza: It will use hyperbeam on ya, giving you a charred penis.
31.Everyone: Pretty hard to pull off, don't you think?
29.Bull: Unless you want to be tossed and trampled like a crushed Caesar salad.
25.Snapping turtle: Sounds painful, but not as bad as #24.
23.Piranha: Worse than sharks and snapping turtles combined.
22.Baby clown: I get nightmares thinking about it.
20.Pedobear: May give sensation and not discomfort if 91 years old above.
19.Grandma: The older the ass, the filthier
18.Ash ketchum:he is gay which explains why he never makes out with those pokemon girls.
14.Vikings: Way worse than pirates.
13.Walrus: You'll need an oxygen tube for this one.
10.Platypus: It's already two animals at once, and Nature doesn't need another freak.
9.Ferret: Or any other small furry bastard that climbs up your pants and bites off your balls.
8.Hillbillies: For anyone who got kidnapped by one and ended up getting raped inside a log cabin.
7.Things: No! Please Not Those Things!
6.Martians: Not only because they're very foreign, but do you really wanna know where their privates are located?
5.Cannibal: May get hungry and mistake your dick for a Vienna sausage.
4.Ganon: YOU DARE BRING YOUR PENIS INTO MY LAIR? YOU MUST DIE!
3.A guy who looks like you: Like having sex with yourself but worse.
2.Porcupine: Do I need to explain why?
1.Justin Bieber: Holy Shit! Who on the planet would want to procreate with this creature?!