Worst 100 Restaurants of All Time

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According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100 restaurants ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand. It don't matter if it stays at 100, it can go to 200, or more!! Add more!

141 - 131[edit | edit source]

141. Cosby's Bar and Grill
Fun for the whole family, complimentary drinks!
140. Eat Shit and Di(n)e
Would you like to see the fucking menu? It contains all our aphrodisiacs. Or perhaps you would like to piss off? The toilets are over there. Cock. It's cock you ordered wasn't it? Prick your food with a fork if you cannot use the chopsticks provided. Jackass, that is our special today. What about the bitch? would you like to try the female dog?
139. Chipotalay
You'll start excreting blood from the burritos. Tastes delicious, but you always have to buy new underwear, so it's only for rich people.
139. Springer's Kids
Your kids will take your salad away and then give you miniature cheeseburgers. Douchebags!
138. The Nintendo Restaurant
Be happy if you come on days when Kirby is head chef. You won't get your food, but would you want their food when Donkey Kong refuses to wear a hairnet or when Master Chief sneaks in to poison all the food. Also, if you come, you are GUARANTEED to have Navi as your waitress, with her shrieks of "HEY!" "LISTEN!" "HOW MANY KIDS MENUS!?" and once (if) you get your food you will be immediatly asked, "DOGGIE BAGS!?"
137. Count Burgubaconbooooooooocrummyinvisiblewolf
Long name, eh?
136. Yahoo! Coyote's
A restaurant full of rednecks.
135. Arthur Treacher's
This wouldn't be on the list if it wasn't for the live chickens that they served as well as Fish and Chips in Chinese underwear!
134. Scrappies
We serve all the best scraps we can find in nearby restraunt's dumpsters.
133. Red Lobster
A cheap cash-in restaurant to coincide with the comic book character of the same name. Criticized mainly because of poor food quality, with critic Lionel Irving saying in part, "The biscuits weren't as good or as cheesy as I pictured them".
132. Tac 'O Bell
A Mexican - themed pub.
131. Pickle-Sit
SIT DOWN NOW! This is a pickle restaurant for you to sit, bitch!

130 - 121[edit | edit source]

130. Dietetic Burger Bar
Buy delicious Air Burgers (now in giant size)!
127. Infamous Raype's Pizza
3 Cheese Pizza and complimentary Surprise Sex
126. Kim Jong Il's Doggie Diner
Jack Russell & Chips or an Alsatian Kebab. All You Can Eat Pedigree Chum for a meagre £2.50
125. Booger King
Founded in 2002 Booger King, a corporation owned by McDonalds, was nothing more than a transparent attempt to bankrupt Burger King.
124. IHOP
I hop, you hop, we all hop.
123. Bangkok
Koks banged daily.
122. Phlem
A restaurant full of throaty phlegm.
121. The Pu Ping Chinese Resturant
Restarooms open daily.

120 - 111[edit | edit source]

120. Thunderburgers
These burgers will rock you so hard it's shocking.
119. Hell Pizza
That's the real restaurant name? You got to be kidding me?!
118. WiiWillyWankey Restaurant
I'm sorry, this place is disturbing.
117. Krystal
White Castle's long lost sister.
116. Barfo's
A fast vomiting restaurant full of...vomit.
115. Glorp
It just sounds so wrong!
114. Funky's Eatery
Just across the street from the nuclear power plant!
113. Tinyburger
"I'll have two hundred burgers." "So you're on a diet?"
112. Goatworld
"Need we say more?"
111. The Jackson Cafe
What's up with all the really young waiters? Not the guy with no nose! Noooooooooo!

110 - 101 : Worldwide Restaurant Choice[edit | edit source]

110. Carl's Sr.
Carl's Jr.'s unsuccessful,long lost father.
110. Smirnoff's Place
In Soviet Union, food eats YOU!!
109. Shoney's
It's just breakfast all day! Who wants to eat there anyways?
108. Chick-Fuk-A
Chickenfuckers on a sandwich. That's nice to hear.
107. Sbarro
What is that? Burros on a s-whatever.
106. Pepper Lunch
Lunch that will make you sneeze constantly.
105. Chicken Licken
Lick a Chicken! It won't kill you. Wait,it will.
104. Denny's
See Shoney's.
103. Hungry Jack-Off
Same as Kancer King, except it's disturbing.
102. Get a Grip!
The food keeps slipping out of your hand. We suggest bringing hot-dog buns and rubber cement to aid you.
101. Recyclo-veg
These people don't eat stuff with faces on it. Of course, they also recycle old gym mats for foodstuffs.

100 - 91[edit | edit source]

100. Greasy Greg's
Clogging your arteries since 1948!
99. Pizza Slut
A family-oriented pizzeria/strip club.
98. IHOB
The International House of Bacteria.
97. McCannibals
Try their new McChildren burger!
96. Hitler Burger
Try the Nazi Value Meal: A Führer burger, Lebensraum Fries, and a medium Kampf Shake. Hitler Burger, the Final Solution to your hunger since 1889! Heil or die!
Home of the world famous Fried Nigger Strips since 1865.
White meat only.
94. Eat n'Pay n' Get Out
93. Sam n' Ella's Salmonella Salmon
Surprisingly enough, a trip to this restaurant is covered by your HMO.
92. How's Everything Over Here?
Expect to be asked this question every two minutes.
91. Stuff We Found in Hospital Trash Cans
Our special tonight is AIDS with a side of bacteria culture. Would you like old Band-Aids on that?

90 - 81[edit | edit source]

90. Ass Lickers-Stand
Fresh Poop Cuisine with pickles up your asshole.
89. IHOF (International House of Fasting)
Come hungry, leave hungrier.
88. Cock Suckers
A new way to eat chicken- by sucking it!
87. Foreign Objects
A surprise in/with every meal!
86. Domino's Pizza
Pizza filled with dominos as the topping choice. (Do not let children 3 years or younger eat this, they can die, or see dominos in the toilet.)
85. Carnivorous Carl's
In Soviet Russia food eats you!
84. The Beached Whale
What they find on the beach is what you'll find on your plate.
83. Display Only
Specials include Fake Steak, Fauxtatoes, phony pheasant, and their Catch of the Day, the fraud cod.
82. Another Castle®
"The Princess is In!" ...a poison-induced coma, that is.
81. Massive Chef
The older and considerably more violent brother to the little chef, this guy threatened to eat the customers unless they took their free lolly.

80 - 71[edit | edit source]

80. TGI timetogotowork
You know those sad people who love their jobs so much that they can't wait to be back? This restaurant was designed with those twisted freaks in mind.
79. nazi Strike
Since the only people that go there are on hunger strikes, there is no food.
78. Grandma Grouper's Drug forest
Everything is made from fish and fresh "kelp" from Grandma Grouper's "kelp" garden.
77. Growth Spurt
This food is guaranteed to make you bigger, but we don't guarantee in which direction(s).
76. Food That Isn't For You
All the food is laid down on a table, but it's awkward to pick it up and eat it, because if you do, a hand will slap you and toss you out, or cook you alive instead.
75. That's a Waste!
They give you the biggest pile of food, but after you take 9000 bites, they steal it back and throw it all away. And you have to pay for all the food you ate, and double for the food you didn't eat.
74. Man, We Suck!
This place smells like your 4th grade Math Teacher on a good day. And all the food is ugly. They lace it in LSD, so you like it.
73. Please come in!
A bad restaurant. The name says it all.
72. We warned you!
The sequel to the above restaurant, the name says it all.
71. McWhataPickleBurgulasDelCarlsWendysCoyotesSpringersKingkfckfkckodpfvkrjfvkoejernoSonicFCBox, LLC
Monopoly at its most active. Resistance is futile.

70 - 61[edit | edit source]

70. Staple Sauce
A heaping bowl of Staple Sauce!
69. Hungry Hungry Hippos
A play on the real bad children's game, you get put in an arena with bouncing food pellets, and you have to grab your food with your hippo before the others in order to eat.
68. Greediness Eatallyoucan!
For the fat guys who do nothing but eat, we've got a restaurant for you to eat all you want in donuts and lard, while your family eats elsewhere so they don't have to see you like that.
67. Water, Water, Everywhere
But no food to eat.
66. Devil's Playground
Little tykes causing you trouble? This hell-themed restaurant is perfect for the Christian mothers to scare their children.
65. The Land of Darkness
The lamps in this restaurant all burned out, and the employees and customers work and eat while stumbling around in the dark.
64. Low Employee Morale
As the name says, these workers are so mad at their conditions and tiny pay they will mistreat you any way they can.
63. The Corn and Corn Alone Restaurant
The special is corn with a side of corn with corn on top. Hold the corn.
62. Finn Eaters
The restaurant specializes in traditional Finnish cuisine, serving mämmi, boiled potatoes and several boiled and taste-deprived country vegetables that add to the air in your stomach.
61. The Savannah Experience
The customer will be offered several authentic Kikuyu spears and is expected to hunt his food. There are several herds of antelopes, giraffes and zebras loose in the restaurant. Lions and vultures add to the authentic atmosphere, although some customers find their presence threatening.

60 -51[edit | edit source]

60. Hannibal's Diner
The head chef of this restaurant is Mr. Hannibal Lecter. Customers are kindly requested to avoid visiting the kitchen, as few have returned.
59. Wilde Cuisine
A tedious Wildean experience, everything from the menu to the tablecloth is Wildean in this restaurant. You are likely to run away in disgust, as even the waiters behave like dandy geniuses, pouring their depressive wisecracks and so-called Wildean wit all over the place.
58. Chunk E. Cheeser's
A kid-friendly place where you play, eat pizza, and spew chunks of cheese all over the place. Even a giant mouse can do that.
57. Hollerin' Jimmy's BBQ
"We have no idea what you're having for dinner!" We'll holler when your order is ready.

56. A shady Chinese Restaurant
The owner of said restaurant in the outskirts of Denver, Colorado fishes food from whatever shady vendors he finds in nearby back alleys. The specialty is the Yuuzhan Vong tea.
55. Fuckruckers
The best hamburgers to fuck with.
54. Raskin 13 Bobbins
13 Flavors of ice cream that's all I'm sayin'.
53. Kewpeed
Ready for that "special" mustard sauce for your hamburger?
52. Oscar's Grouchland
You are seated in an alley, which is perpetually raining. The chairs are trash cans, and you eat whatever any grouch would.
51. Dirty Laundry
After a 3rd grader came up with a joke saying that the odiferous hot dogs tasted like old socks, they now make food out of old socks.

50 - 41[edit | edit source]

50. The Olive Garden
C'mon guys, seriously!
49. Pooters
48. Joe Momma
Best damn coffee this side of da Mississip
47. Meat
Causing meat related injuries since 2005
46. Kancer King
The leading cause of lymphoma and proud of it!
45. Charles' House of Watermelon, Fried Chicken, Waffles, Guns, and .40's
It's da most wiggitiest wackiest place in da hood... izzle
44. Coyote's
See what life was like back in the old days, when the Coyote was cooked alive to piss PeTA off.
43. DiHydrogen MonoSulfide
It only burns for the first 6 minutes!
42. The Coffee Coffin
The number one choice of Necrophiliacs.
41. Ghetto Gelatin
We got 99 problems but Gelatin ain't one.

40 - 31[edit | edit source]

40. Insanely themed pizza place
This pizza place has a new crazy theme every Friday.
Get your scuba gear and head down into the coral reef, where you'll be surrounded by coral and fish. Note: Air tanks only last two hours.
38. Quiz No's!
Say no to quiz and eat your fucking sub sandwich.Or die.
37. Whatabooger
Ew.No way.
36. Brown Chicken & Pasta
Want some shit with that?
35. Rocky Horror Hot Dog Stand
You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter!
Yum, Wendy's!
34. Out in the Back Steakhouse
Your food is tossed into the dumpster out back. You better retrieve it.
33. Anti-gravity
Your shoes are strapped with velcro so you can sit on all the chairs and tables on the ceiling. However, it's hard to eat without things falling into the floor, which is an alligator pit.
32. AIDS
here have some AIDS
31. Wendy's
Home to the "Old Fashioned Fingers"!

30 - 21[edit | edit source]

30. Taco Hell
It's living hell eating at this Mexican restaurant full of Mexicans from the border line (illegal immigrants) Want marijuana with that, pendejo?
29. Captain D's
Want some good sea-food, please?
28. Andy's Dicks
Eat some of his favorite fried chicken sticks in a bun.
27. Cinnaboner
Cinnamon will turn you on, and possibly off.
26. Rohney Jockets
Hamburgers and horny women on roller skates.
25. Papa John's Pissa
Pizza with one more good ingredient. Like they said, "Better Ingredients, Better Piss, Papa John's!" We just told you the secret recipe!
24. Stand Pickle
Do burgers come with free stand-ups?
23. Steak 'N' Shake Em' Fast
Watch them shake it fast!
22. Hardee's Jr.
Carl's owns Hardee's big time.
21. Qairy Dween
Ice Cream with all kinds of syrup. Including white syrup... Sperm that is.

20 - 11[edit | edit source]

20. Pre-chewed Charlie's
The food on your plate has been digested sure, but it hasn't moved through the bowel yet. Perfect for bulimic dieters.
19. Space Center
Dehydrated food in tubes. Teenagers with dreams of being astronauts go here frequently.
18. Soylent Green
All food is Soylent Green, a foodstuff recycled from dead corpses.
"I got Jimmies!" - The Ugly One.
16. Samurai Sushi
To get your sushi, you must first duel with the samurai server. Ninjas not accepted.
15. Eat your words
You should say a speech with the tastiest dish next time.
14. Sonic Boomer
The food's great, sure, but the cake will make you sick, and the music is terribly loud. Everyone forces you to run 37 miles to the desk, eat at your table and get out in 1 minute, or else you die by Guile's Sonic Boom! Plus it's always cold in there. A place constantly booked for weddings.
13. Generic bad food place
A generic bad restaurant, with generic bad food.
12. Nasty Burger
Unlike its slightly insane counterpart, Good Burger, the food really is nasty. Don't let their slogan fool you.
11. Burger Emperor Palpatine
Ruling the galaxy for 23 years. Soon to conquer Wallington and Wallington County Grammar School. Execute Order 66, dammit!

10 - -1[edit | edit source]

10. Carl's
See Hardee's Jr.
9. ShowBiz Pizza Place
Same as Chuck E. Cheese's except for the giant cheese-puking rat. More games, pizza with an added ingredient, and an incredible show starring a giant bear that pisses in your pizza.
8. Racks Restaurants
Any type of food including girly racks for you to stare at.
7. Shrimp on the Barbie
Lots of old dolls from little girls are your shish kebob serving sticks!
6. Lying pieces of cheese
That's what the owners are, because they have no cheese, only cheez.
5. Spammer Scammer
This place is flooded with cheap pork and pop-up ads. It gets aggravating.
4. Grue's Glue
Run like hell, the Grues are chasing you, with Glue! They're gonna eat you!
3. Feral Imperlier
Viro-bots are placed in your food and get into your blood. You won't feel too good afterwards, or anytime after.
2. Grease Hut
Imagine a gas station toilet. Now, imagine eating it. That's about the quality of the food at the Grease Hut. Only slightly better.
1. Applebee's
A very very very crappy ripoff of TGI Friday's. The parking lot is usually emptier than the stadium at any Detroit Lions home game. Applebee's are also usually in the middle of nowhere.

Slogan: If you don't get your food in 24 hours, IT'S FREE! With that said, only George Bush and his brother Reggie have not gotten a free meal at Applebee's.

0. McDonald's
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm fat. Now available: a metal rod to the face with fries for only $50.00. Proud sponsors of Major League Bloodbath.
-1. Domway
The staff slap you when they serve you your food & the seats have electrodes in them, which are controlled by a sadist. Also, if you ask for a meatball marinara, they will kick you in the nuts. But, still, it's less painful than paying for anything from Subway.