Worst 100 Foods of All Time
Jump to navigation Jump to search
“Worst 100 Foods of All Time? Everybody knows jack---- about Worst 100 Foods of All Time!”
~ Nancy Reagan on Worst 100 Foods of All Time
100-91[edit | edit source]
- The best known cure for vegetarianism.
- A food which has become unpopular in Afro-American communities.
- Toasted oatee-o's made from haggis.
- This is what some people's lives amounted to after first making the hill of beans, then having to eat it.
- Cookies that British child delinquents used instead of stones to break windows.
- Blue cheese made from Goat's Milk.
Erektus Energy Drink
90-81[edit | edit source]
- A cola from Ghana, named of course after Mr. Pee, the owner of the company.
- Battered and deep fried peckerhead chickens.
Piddle in the Hole Beer
- Only the British could buy this without laughing.
- Corn with come stains on it.
- That's when male strippers jump out of the cake.
- Mexican tacos made from cow's eyes.
- A by-product of kitten huffing. An uncyclopedian delicacy, as is kitty tripe on rye.
- An additive in snickerdoodle cookies, although one would have to go through a lot of garters to obtain sufficient tartar for an industrial process.
- This was popular for a short time, until Brazilian consumers heard of the phrase "you are what you eat".
80-71[edit | edit source]
- Something that is eaten if you lose a bet, as in: "If he arrives on time for once, I'll eat my hat."
- Something else that is eaten if you lose a bet. Words taste better than hats.
- OH NO!!! Broccoli with eggs and sausage!
- Un-inspected meat, sold to consumers. First the animal dies, then you.
- One of the little known nutritional facts is that square sausages make you belch, while round ones make you fart. Choose wisely.
- Sliced bread was always "kind of there". It was never that great. It's like saying "The Greatest Thing Since Open-Toed Sandals". The only appropriate response is "so what?"
- A marketing effort to offload mouldy sardines that failed.
- Small, bite sized hors d'œuvres.
- That's French for Horse's Ovaries.
- If you want the full effect, mill yourself some corn kernels into a fine flour inside a reasonably large wigwam add water, let rise over a fire in a pan, and if any hoochie mamas are present, you can even make hoe cakes.
70-61[edit | edit source]
- Not all people considered big nuts to be candy, so it has a limited distribution.
- Ice cream, candy, chips. Also called gejunk.
- Coffee made by Druid Priests, requiring one of you to be sacrificed.
- The serving of pork from a pig picked up by a tornado and which ended up on your property.
Goat's Head Soup
- A food chain soon to be merged with Mc-Nike-Soft.
- Eggs used in pornography for other actors to lick off. Not sure why that's sensual. Egg on your face is not usually discussed in mixed company.
- Pie that is edible only after you're dead. “Work and Pray, live on hay. You'll get Pie in the sky when you die”
~ Old hymn
60-51[edit | edit source]
- A phrase referring to a kind of microdieting fad where you consume food in individual molecules. Most believers in this fad never lived long enough to end their meal.
- No one in the Czech Republic figured it was named after the owner, Kolonman Radovan Plopp, and soon it was squeezed out of the market, and it fell with a dull thud.
- A short-lived cereal which attempted to mix meat with puffed rice.
- That wasn't beef.
- Take a cake, hollow it out. Fill the inside with acrylic paints; slather the outside with the heaviest grease you can find, coloured brown to look like chocolate. Place in front of an energetic two year-old. Stand back with a video camera. When the kid turns 18, show it to him or her on their graduation.
- A disappointment to those expecting actual bread that tastes sweet.
- A disappointment to those expecting actual meat.
- Served at a local family restaurant. 70 kilograms (154 pounds) of prime beef. If you ate one, you could get another one free.
Pettes de soeur
50-41[edit | edit source]
- “The only food which becomes spoiled once it smells like what it is.”
~ P. J. O'Rourke on Fish
- The only difference between Meat and Fish is that if you beat your fish, it dies.
- A very expensive Italian cheese made from stains on trouser legs. The high price of cheese is due to the number of unclean pants needed to get enough scrapings to make a brick of cheese.
- Take enough scrapings from between your toes to fill 250mL. Since this may take over a month to obtain enough to fill a cup, take a few day's worth, incubate for 36 hours at 37C under moist conditions in an agar medium. Scrape off the resulting growth. Add sugar, pectin and food coloring. Chill overnight. Serve to feed your hungry multitudes.
- An Italian seafood dish, which couldn't be named fried octopus rings, or no one would eat it.
- A very expensive Indonesian coffee made from mongoose poop. Since the mongoose (an Indonesian Civet Cat, which is not really a cat) is so small, the high price of Kopi Luwak is due to having to hunt around in a dense rainforest looking for enough mongoose dump to fill a half pound bag.
- Kids dare each other to see how many of these you could eat before you were squirming on the floor wretching helplessly.
- A food served in British pubs, but let's face it ... no one goes to a British pub to eat, do they?
- A Jamaican seasoning that, when Britain took the Caribbean island over in 1655, soon combined it with spotted dick (see below) to make Jerk Spotted Dick. The Brits were the only nation to fail to see the irony.
40-31[edit | edit source]
- The culinary equivalent of a child's fingerpainting, baked and served as food.
- Looking upon the pie will cause weight gain.
- A nickname given to a sweet red drink with no discernible brand sold at "Everything for a buck" stores.
- Basically toast and cheese. No rabbit. Animal rights activists got the wrong impression, and due to IFAW's "save the bunnies" campaign, restaurants in Wales had to stop serving it.
- KFC, fried in artery-clogging hog fat, hooked up to a 30,000V power supply.
- You never know where that cucumber has been.
- A molehill decorated with rabbit droppings.
- The loser of this contest becomes the debt ceiling turkey.
30-21[edit | edit source]
- “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
~ Calvin Trillin on Leftovers
- Very similar to deer nuts, except that beer nuts sell for $1.50, while deer nuts are under a buck.
- Jazz singers keep ordering the stuff, usually with a large helping of ussin-fay and chifafa on the side. You need to be very drunk to consume this dish.
- If the doughnut is only a dollar, it isn't worth eating.
- Contains a decaying rat with a dead mouse in its mouth.
- Make french fries. Let cool to room temperature. Rub each one under your armpit. Salt and serve.
20-11[edit | edit source]
- Remove barbed wire before consuming.
- It's the sandwich you eat exactly when you don't want to and don't feel hungry.
- That's where the cake jumps out of the girl.
- Cut up one medium carrot, and shuck about a half cup of peas. Allow to rot for 4 days. Bring 2 cups of Eau D'ouche to a slow boil. Add carrots and peas. Feeds four worst enemies.
10-1[edit | edit source]
- A German yogurt brand which too many teenagers splashed all over their high school bathroom stalls at their school, so the product was pulled.
- You take a wide assortment of food coloring, baking soda, and vinegar. Pack in as much cooked, sticky rice as you can. Mix it all together at the last minute. Scrape off the ceiling and serve.
- Can be alternatively used as a fuel for model rockets, or for dissolving ceramics and plastics. Tastes like turpentine with a hint of nail polish remover.
Spotted Dick Sponge Cake
- British guests used to run and hide whenever they knew it was two-thirty and the host was serving a plate of Spotted Dick with their tea.
The Hour of Power
- Alternatively named "Pomme de rue" or "Pomme de terre", Road Apples are a disappointment to those who thought they were being served apples, although the relationship is a little closer than the other expressions seen in this article. You feed a horse an apple. Wait a day or two. Scrape off the road and serve.
- These are all the toungues harvested by cats from speechless passers-by.
- I don't even wanna know what it looks/tastes like
- It looks like cum if someone forgot about it for a few years and probably tastes like it too.
Rocky Mountain Oysters
- They aren’t oysters.