Worst 100 Songs of All Time
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- See Unified Law of Subsequent Albums for more information on the scientific causes relating to musical mediocrity.
* Bruce Campbell does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticize divine numeration policy.
- The classic Christmastime anthem for promiscuous gold-diggers. Happy Birthday, Jesus.
- ohhh will jago, ohhh will jagoooooo, I love it when you sing that special song, sing that special song, sing that special song, ohhh will jago, whenever you're around, i jump and kick the ground, ohhh will jago yeah yeah gay fish yall, ohhh will jago, you sacrificed a cow, while performing the gypsy bow, ohhh will jago yeah, (uh)
- Rick rolling was funny, but now it's getting old.
- Some guy singing about how drugs turned him into a furry.
- Just that for three billion hours. AAAAAAA! Takes part of the noise from Comfortably Numb (There'll be no more AAAAAAAAA!) Guaratneed to make one's head a splode.
- A song about racism by some 14 year old whose balls apparently had dropped at birth. Responsible for more hangings and cross burnings than the Klan.
- A 1986 song about sex. We're not exactly sure, but we think sex. Or Connie Chung's penis. So the song may very well be about Maury Povich.
- The White Tee's song
- If you want to say that you are a whore, then say it.
- Subliminal song off of High School Musical.
- (Another) smash subliminal hit off of one of the gayest, preppiest pieces of crap ever to be created on planet Earth. No idea what I'm talking about? Check out this video.
- Another subliminal song off of High School Musical.
- Justin Timberlake's song about a hairy back.
- If you ain't got a hiney, take yo fucked ass home!
Avril Lavigne Girlfriend (whored-out mix) -
- Chris unleashes his deep homosexual fetishes in this video where he walks around his ghetto train tracks and local gas stations professing his love and ever-demanding desire for gangster male-on-male bondage.
- Crank what? If it takes less than four elements to make a song and something that dumbs the genre of hip-hop, then crank it out of your system. Basically, Hip Hop shouldn't exist(yawn, some kid makes a dumb song and now an entire genre shouldn't exist?). And Soulja Boy needs to be shot. By a Goth.about sexual temptation and his guitar.
- From voyages into the black hole as Dr. Spock, Leonard sings about his years in space with the 'Shat'.
- Justin sings about getting stoned.
- lyrics like, Bob Dole likes to sing about what Bob Dole sings, or Bob Dole is getting tired of singing.
- Need I say more?
- what an ol' dirty bastard he is
- speaks for itself
- An interesting song by Shania Twain talking about her (his) up and coming sex change.
- Daddy Yankee's song that we can't understand, because some people are stupid.
- Creed is weird! They're good, but the titles are weird.
- Beyonce - Check On What?
- Deana Carter's biggest (s)hit.
- Nick Lachey copes with having lost something dear to him in his divorce from Jessica Simpson.
- Ashlee Simpson describes herself feeling terrible for losing bits and bits of her vagina.
- Kenny Loggins' foot is a big loser.
- the shockingly disturbing song about how the lead singer of The Killers likes to rape young boys.
- Missy Elliott talks about her tush ONCE AGAIN!
- Joe wants to know if it's gonna glow in the snow.
- N.W.A.'s seminal release from their Cheese Party album of 1991
Another Prick in the Eye
- Bob Geldof orchestrated a small charity single for the purpose of keeping the music world's rich list clean by making it look like they cared about some third world country crap. The song, whilst keeping reputations clean (All except Paul Wheller's that is), was a disaster and a charity was later set up for its victims.
- Hank Williams at his hilarious best.
- Sisqu's "coming out" anthem.
- Tom Green tries to reenter mainstream media with corporate endorsement.
- George Michael's funked up rendition of this classic take on Rudyard Kiplings epic poem reached Number 97 in the charts in 2002
Dirty Sanchez (But Wednesday's Fine If You're Busy))
- Elton John's classic '70s anthem.
- This Righteous Brothers (and Cousin) song has featured in so many films it has its own Worst 100 Movies featuring THAT song by the Righteous Brothers page.
- Ultravox's unfortunate 1984 accident.
- Bruce Stringbean rocks out for the U S of A.
- Mo' 12 bar blues from Status Quo in this long winded song about some guy who couldn't paint.
- Another song about some guy who couldn't paint, this time with one ear. Go figure.
- Tu Pac's 1995 love ballad based on a 14th century monastic madrigal.
- Linkin Park's 2003 electronica-style song. Need I go into details about the lyrics?
- Festive ditty from the Beastie Boys featuring a 10 minute sleighbell solo. And huge inflatable penis.
- Phil Collins takes over as lead singer in this early Genesis track.
- Anthem highlighting raging hormones and overactive glands. "I didn't have a gun. What? Oh…..THAT gun".
- Leonard Cohen.
- Because Tokio Hotel is the worst band there ever will be.
- A song by Britney Spears. A sudden increase in spousal abuse followed after its release.
- A satire of Texas legal statutes, sung by Beck.
- An unreleased song by Kurt Cobain that was deemed "unacceptable" and did not "fit the image" that was sought by the record company.
- The second song by Wetlife, in which the band members express their hate and/or love for MJ.
- The first song by Wetlife, in which the band members express their hate and/or love for MJ.
- Recorded by Band. Despite getting rave reviews from Music Magazine, Song was criticized by Influential Music Columnist for not meeting preconceived notions of quality generally held by potential music buyers. Nevertheless, Song is played often on College Based Alternative Rock Radio Station, especially on Quirky Radio Host's Weekly One-Hour Show.
- Originally by Flaccid Biscuit, this version was covered by the Magic Numbers. The rest speaks for itself really.
- Marilyn 'Ooh get him' Manson's unreleased epic about clouds, pillows and puppies.
- Marilyn comes to his senses and eats four of the puppies while wiping his ass with pillows and pissing on clouds. Ain't he scary though children?
- An original demo by Wobbly Williams only released on limited edition 16ft vinyl in the Congo.
- Lil Wayne you are a human being!!!!!!!!
- Elton John and Kinky Dee duet on this soulful lament about a sore buttock.
- Dolly Parton's 1998 release was noted for its strangely hypnotic accompanying video.
- Kaiser Chiefs rant and fucking rave. Assholes.
- Unknown Artist rocks out with a song that sounds different each time you play it.
- Beyonce talks about her unwanted pregnancy with Sean Paul. (Jay-Z was jealous)
- Release by Scottish whinge-bags Travesty.
- The Divinyls prove that it doesn't matter what the song sounds like if the video features a chick with a huge rack talking about touching herself.
- Way..out..in the water, see it swimming. Hit song by the Sixie Dicks.
- Madonna gets stuck in the freezer…again!
- By Chris Icecrack. A touching lament to the passing of his favorite hooker.
- Forthcoming Xmas single release by Alyssa Milano.
- Morrisey ended up having to change the lyrics of this controversial version. Just like the monarchy, Britons learned that they dont need Morrisey. But we still require a buffer in front of Morrisey. However, Canadians need the same sort of a buffer in front of Paul McCartney.
- Classic duet between George Bush and Saddam Hussein.
- Tasteless release by Westlife, post 9/11
- Elton John & Michael Jackson duet about their love for male children.
- A song by Ike Turner about his relationship with Tina Turner. God bless dear Ike on his way to The Resting Place for Members of the Smack-a-Hoe Tribe.
- A song by two poorly groomed spics, who met a woman named Macaroni and wrote a song about her to try to win her heart. They're both still virgins.
- A song by Mindless… Senseless… You know, yea? That one.
- Paul McCartney's love ballad from what many hope is his final album.
- Dexy's Midnight Runners finally lose patience with Eileen.
- Jack Daniel's Band sings about that time Satan played the "harmonica" on Miss Georgia's no-no place.
- Hold me, I'm humming… hmmmm. The Willie Nelson classic.
- Gary Glitter's comeback single fails to chart, not even in Vietnam.
- About George W. Bush and the mafia doing weed in front of Wal-Mart.
- Lead Zeppelin's absolutely brilliant lyrics are full of double meanings and profundity that no one understands. All we know is that Steven used to pick his nose.
- Proves that John Lennon is not the only person capable of writing bad songs. And it's stupid as bloody shit.
- White Trash protest anthem, but what the hell are they protesting?
- Metallurgica's controversial anthem of coprophilia.
- This is one of the shortest Christmas song ever made. That's why it was replaced by the Twelve Days of Christmas.
- Another Hank Williams classic.
- 12 - 361 minute extra to a song about getting someone on their knees.
- A racist anthem about how only uneducated branch-managers write hip-hop songs.
- In Soviet Russia, teen spirit like, smells…
- If N*Stink said so, it must be true…
- 2006 song by Disturbed on an album of the same name. The song is, obviously, about a giant 10,000-guy orgy.
- Billy Joel's tribute to the Mississippi Burning Trial.
- Black Eyed Peas on the importance of breast cancer self-examinations.
Numa Numa Song
- A frog with a deformed penis does a voodoo chant and turns it into a techno song. The chant hypnotizes people into having sex with their cellphones each time a person calls them.
- James Blunt's massive one hit wonder found its best use as background music for awful movie trailers.
- D4L's hit single is so repulsive it takes up the last 27 spots. Newbie Uncyclopedia editors ignore this however and continue to extend the list.
- Miron Aidens song about a wonderful future full of happiness and with no problems. Those damn naive people…
Rim of Fire
- Jamie Foxx and Ludacris sing on one of the most ironic songs of the year, about (who would have guessed?!) sex.
- The song in which Shakira reveals that men normally cannot tell the difference between breasts and mountains.
- The Artist Formerly Known As Symbol's anthem about castration. Just listen to it, what else could it be about?
- Through the medium of dance music, Madonna admits she is an alcoholic and confirms everyone's suspicions that she really WAS pissed when she recorded American Life.
- Butch Lesbian Slut Otep tells the story of how she was raped by some guy when she was 16 or something. The song goes on for about 12 minutes and is so fucking boring no one has bothered to listen to it (and any of her other songs for that matter), and it starts off with her whispering before she starts screaming randomly. It was featured on the album Smash the Control Machine, and immediately after that track is "I Remember", an 8 minute song about her being raped by everyone including Donald Trump and Australia. The instrumentals featured some homeless guy tuning his guitar really low, and thats about it.
- Metalcore Faggots Atreyu ended the album Congregation of the Damned made a passionate, yet really gay song about drummer/singer Brendan Saller's gay boyfriend breaking up with him and never coming back. People universally hate Brendan Saller's ex-boyfriend because if he didn't break up with him, no one would have had to hear this incredibly gay song.
- Your Mum made this song after she saw a Pontiac G6 driving by. She was attracted to this incredibly ugly car and then made a pop song about it. She was raped by Dino Cazares. She was then tried and join Dragonforce but she was raped by Herman Lee. So she made a pop song about it. Every single Teenage Girl has it on their iPod. At a school room G6 is now called Like a G6
Letter to Mother
- Lil Wayne made this song because on how tall he was when we recorded this.
Bugs BunnySNOOP DOGGY DOGG & DR DRE AT DA DOOR!!: Snoopy Dogg's new song featuring Dr. Dre &
- Another dumbass song by Soulja Boy
- also #1 on the 100 Best Songs of All Time
- Pink Floyd says it is the worst song ever
- PROOF THAT LIL WAYNE IS GAY
D12I Got to Take a Piss -
JUSTIN BIEBER SONG
- Seriously, just stop.
- It opens looking and sounding like a teen porno until the girls open their mouths and talk about their problems. They don't even use autotune. It is a blast full of shit, heightened by the annoying and bland city graphics and the Miley Cyrus reference. It ends with them saying they're perfect, which most people never discover because if they were dumb enough to listen through the whole song, they would have died by then.
- We know when Friday is, bitch, and YES it is FUN FUN FUN FUN. God.. never have I wanted to hit children.. but seriously?
- I mean, if you haven't heard it before, consider yourself lucky. And even worse, this bitch thinks Hannah Montana wearing her jeans is a big fucking deal. Pretentious, arrogant little shit. I mean, really. She's not even wearing any jeans, she wears a fucking skirt. They censor music, but they allow this shit to hit the airwaves? This is why America can't have nice things.
Design The Skyline - Surrounded by Silence.
- Amos Moses
- The theme from a summer place
- William Foote - "John is wrong"
- Patty Duke Show theme
- The O'Reilly Factor theme song
- "Suddenly I Peed" the song about how KT Tunstall cannot control her urinary tract. It did not make the final cut of her album entitled "Eye to the Monoscope".
- "Long Way 2 Blow (Job)" is the song by Cassie where she sings about giving oral sex to random men and how she likes to do it for a long time. She added the "2" to make herself look more innocent… or sluttier… we aren't really sure…
- Any song by the Crash Test Dummies, because his voice is so low he talks to humpback whales.
- Again, …if you didn't get it the first time
- Butter by BTS,too overrated