Oh gee, don't even get me started. Well, where do I begin? My life hasn't always been easy, to say the least…
I was born to a bunch of bananas. Isn't that cray cray? Effin bananas!?! It's true! I would never lie to you. I can't — I'm just a talking pear, man.
Anyways, I guess the fams was heir to some Dole fortune? I'm not sure how I'm related to Bob Dole exactly, but apparently he left me a boatload of money and now I don't really have to work anymore.
I have a brother and a sister, we used to just hang out all the time. We were inseparable.
Check us out before we were ripe. I'm the sexy one on the right, can't you tell?
Back then we used to sing a capella on the tree in front of the barber shop down on 29th street. Until that one day, when the nice man rescued us and gave us our freedom. I'm not sure what happened to my brother and sister though, we don't really talk anymore. Actually, I talk all the time, just not to them — you know what I mean? That's normal though, right? Doesn't that kind of thing happen a lot between siblings? LOL, it's just a phase they're going through, I know it!
Back when I had to work, I was a pretty successful model. I used to pose in all kinds of different costumes for motivational posters. I dunno, I didn't really care as long as it was paying the bills!