Worst 100 Songs To Play At A Funeral

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Worst 100 Songs To Play At A Funeral
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Contents:  100-91  90-81  80-71  70-61  60-51  50-41  40-31  30-21  20-11  10-1

At funerals the tradition is to play boring opera, some dull classical music, bagpipe music or the occasional ballad. Why is this? Wouldn't the world be a better place if people weren't afraid of blasting out some real music whilst their loved ones are buried. However, there are some times when "crossing the line" becomes clear, and this causes tragedy, horror and cancer. So, for your information, here are the worst 100 songs to play at a funeral.

101.Guns ‘N Roses - I Used to Love Her (but I Had to Kill Her)
(because you rock, you get an extra song)

100-91[edit | edit source]

100.AC/DC - Highway to Hell
(Unless Hell is the goal of everyone at the funeral)
99.Sean Kingston - Fire Burning
(If the person died in a fire)
98.The Munchkins - Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead
(If the person was a witch)
97.Kanye West - Gold Digger
(If the person married someone rich or Anna Nicole Smith)
96.Jamie Foxx/Glee - Blame It
(If the person died in a DUI)
95.Diana Vickers - Never Go To Heaven
94.Eamon - F*** You! I Don't Want You Back
93.Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
92.Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath
(If the person died drowning)
91.All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

90-81[edit | edit source]

90.Tomosuke Funaki - 凛として咲く花の如く
(Just don't play it. It's so epic that the dead may rise from their grave)
89.Kool & The Gang - Celebration
88.La Roux - Bulletproof
(If they were shot)
87.Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
86.The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go
(If they were raped)
85.Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Murder On The Dancefloor
84.Rush - High Water
(If they died in a flood or tsunami)
83.Rebecca Black - Friday
(Probably would turn into a double funeral with that song)
82.Roll Deep - Good Times
81.Queen - Another One Bites The Dust

80-71[edit | edit source]

80.Roll Deep - Green Light
(If they were in a car accident)
79.The Cheeky Girls - We Are The Cheeky Girls (Touch My Bum)
78.The Trammps - Disco Inferno
77.Cee Lo Green - F*** You!
76.The Jam - Going Underground
75.Rush - Roll The Bones
74.Rock - I Am Rock
(If the person died because he believes he's an Immortal and got beaten up by a gang of hobos)
73.Usher - OMG
72.Esmee Denters - Outta Here
71.Hollywood Undead - Dead In Ditches

70-61[edit | edit source]

70.Helloween - Get Me Outta Here
69.REM - Try Not To Breathe
68.The Chords - Sh-Boom
(Unfitting to a funeral because it's too DooDoo-wop)
67.La Roux - In For The Kill
66.Diana Vickers - Once
Lyrics: I'm only gonna let you kill me once
65.Lady GaGa - So Happy I Could Die
64.Michael Jackson - Thriller
63.Tahnee Cain and the Tryanglez - Burnin' In The Third Degree
(If the person died of self-immolation)
62.M.I.A - Bird Flu
61.Tinie Tempah ft. Kelly Rowland - Invinsible
(If they were hit by a car)

60-51[edit | edit source]

60.Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
59.James Horner - Come Little Children
(Play this in a funeral and it will result into a fantasy-horror ritual)
58.Missy Elliot - She's A Bitch
57.Olly Murs - Heart Skips A Beat
(Unsuitable if the person died of a heart attack)
56.Aaliyah ft. Missy Elliot - Hot Like Fire
55.R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
(If the person jumped off a building)
54.B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams - Airplanes
(I think you would know at whose funeral this would be unsuitable)
53.Britney Spears - Hit Me Baby One More Time
(If attacked or beaten)
52.Bruno Mars - Grenade
(If killed in action or by a jealous lover)
51.Johnny Mandel/Mike Altman - Suicide Is Painless
(If someone wants you to play this song at their funeral, it's time to make them stop watching M*A*S*H)

50-41[edit | edit source]

50.Green Day - Haha Your Dead
49.Iron Maiden - Be Quick Or Be Dead
48.Queen - Who Wants To Live Forever
47.The Lonely Island ft. Akon - I Just Had Sex
(Disrespectful if they died from a sex related disease (HIV, AIDS), or if they didn't)
46.Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day
45.Eminem - 3 a.m.
(Song about recalling a string of murders)
44.Michael Jackson - Beat It
(If they were attacked)
43.Wicked! - Defying Gravity
(If they jumped off a building)
42.Sarah Silverman - Your Gonna Die Soon
41.Dragonforce - Through the Fire and Flames

40-31[edit | edit source]

40.Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
(Because the living guests would feel left out.)
39.Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live
38.Green Day - F.O.D (Fuck Off and Die)
37.Cutting Crew - (I Just) Died in Your Arms
36.Elton John - Better Off Dead
(Curiously, not performed at Princess Diana's funeral)
35.Achmed the Dead Terrorist - oblique
(If they died a terrorist, from a terrorist or from a deadly Christmas event)
34.Selena Gomez - I Don't Miss You At All
33.Rihanna - shut up and drive
(if the person was hit by a car)
32.Jordin Sparks - No Air
31.Chris Brown - Yeah 3x

30-21[edit | edit source]

30.Rihanna - Man Down
29.Scissor Sisters - Don't Feel Like Dancing
28.Lady GaGa - Just Dance
(Because dancing is common at funerals.)
27.Destiny's Child - Survivor
26.Madonna - Die Another Day
25.Chris Brown - Look At Me Now
24.Celine Dion - I Am Alive
23.Genesis - No Reply At All
22.Enrique Iglesias ft. Nicole Scherzinger - Heartbeat
Lyrics: I can feel your heartbeat
21.Katy Perry - Firework
(If they died in an explosion)

20-11[edit | edit source]

20.50 Cent - When Death Becomes You
19.Saves The Day - Turning Over In My Tomb
18.Jay-Z - Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)
(Someone’s going to get teary eyed)
17.Jay-Z - Da Graveyard
16.Jay-Z - Don't Let Me Die
15.It's Easy To Sleep When You're Dead - of Montreal
14.Dr Dre ft. Eminem - I Need A Doctor
13.Old People In A Cemetery - of Montreal
12.Tupac - To Live & Die in L.A.
(If they died in L.A.)
11.Tupac - I Don't Give a Fuck

10-0[edit | edit source]

10.The Notorious B.I.G. - Who Shot Ya?
9.The Notorious B.I.G. - Suicidal Thoughts
8.Michael Jackson - They Don't Care About Us
7.Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal
6.LMFAO - Shots
5.Emilie Autumn - Dead Is The New Alive
4.Emeli Sande - Kill The Boy
3.Cher Lloyd - Swagger Jagger
(Not really to do with death but would be very bad to play at a funeral)
2.Adele - Rolling In The Deep
(If they drowned)
1.Avenged Sevenfold - Buried Alive
(Worst time to play is while the coffin is being lowered)
0.Ozzy Osbourne - Suicide Solution
-1.Gotye feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know
-2. SpongeBob Squarepants - It's the Best Day Ever
-3.Thomas the Dank Engine
(if they died on a train, to a train, or of a drug addiction)
-4. Grandma got run over by a reindeer
(if they got ran over)

Songs that just wouldn't match a funeral mood[edit | edit source]

Here are some songs which just don't fit into the funeral mood.

  • Hamilton - Stay Alive
  • Jay-Z ft. Mr Hudson - Forever Young
  • LMFAO - Sorry for Party Rocking
  • Snoop Dogg - Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang
  • O-Zone - Dragonstea Din Tei (Numa Numa)
  • Alexis Jordan - Happiness
  • S.Mouse - Slap My Elbow
  • Fred - Christmas Cash (or any other song by him)
  • Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah
  • Madness - House Of Fun
  • James Brown - I Got You (I Feel Good)
  • Queen - Don't Stop Me Now
  • Stinky Wizzleteats - Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy
  • Britt McKillip - This Day Aria
  • James Blunt - Beautiful
  • Axel F - Crazy Frog
  • Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
  • Spice Girls - Wannabe
  • Ke$ha - We R Who We R
  • LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem
  • Six D - Best Damn Night
  • Beastie Boys - Fight for the Right to Party
  • The Firm - Star Trekking across the universe
  • Design The Skyline - Surrounded By Silence
  • Lady GaGa - Paparazzi
  • KC & The Sunshine Band - That's The Way
  • Alice Cooper - Poison
  • David Guetta & Sia - Titanium
  • Cowboy Troy - I Play Chicken With the Train
  • Melanie Martinez - Dead To Me
Lyrics: I need to kill you
It's the only way to get you out of my head}}
  • Dead Body Man - Insane Clown Posse
  • Deep Purple - Hush
  • Metallica - Jump in the Fire
  • Earth, Wind, and Fire - September
  • The Presidents of the United States of America - Cleveland Rocks (If they died in Cleveland)
  • Three Dog Night - Joy to the World
  • Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
  • Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe
  • Dead - My Chemical Romance
100 Animals
99 April Fools Jokes
98 Cartman Wannabes
97 Colors
96 Creatures to have sex with
95 Firefox extensions
94 Foods
93 Gifts to give a friend
92 Harry Potter Spin-offs
91 Inventions
90 Locations
89 LOL Cats
88 Make Out Songs
87 Moments to get a Boner
86 Moments to Laugh
85 Money Making Schemes
84 Movies
83 Nonexistent Words
82 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
81 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
80 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
79 Pokemon Cash-Ins
78 Porn Stars
77 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
76 Weapons
75 Reflections on 2005
74 Reflections on 2006
73 Reflections on 2007
72 Reflections on 2008
71 Reflections on 2009
70 Reflections on 2010
69 Reflections on 2011
68 Reflections on 2012
67 Reflections on 2013
66 Reflections on 2018
65 Reflections on 2022
64 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
63 Remakes
62 Restaurants
61 Self Help Books
60 Sexual Perversions
59 Short Poems
58 Sitcom Catchphrases
57 Songs
56 Songs about Seagulling
55 Songs To Have Sex To
54 Songs To Play At A Funeral
53 Spinoffs
52 Superheroes
51 Things About the '00s
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways of Being a Dick
38 Ways To Be Castrated
37 Ways to be Circumcized
36 Ways to Deliver Bad News
35 Ways to Die
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
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