Worst 100 Make Out Songs of All Time
You're listening to WILDE, Uncyclopedia Smooth Jazz and easy listening. It's 15:09 and we're going to play down the list of the Worst 100 Make Out Songs of All Time. That's right folks sit back and relax as these songs will surely take you out of the mood. So sit back, and relax with your lady here on WILDE.
- As if calling her a bitch wasn't bad enough, why do you have an Elton John song and a GIRLfriend. I certainly don't…
- "And it burns, burns, burns" is not the best lyric to hear, especially if you suspect your partner of having an STD
- This song is especially bad if you are having a romantic evening with your wife.
- For some reason, women don't like to hear about why you like big butts.
- Insanity is usually not a desirable trait.
- She'll probably think you have the gono-ka-ka-khackus.
- Not a good way to show your love…unless your a child under Michael Jackson, in which case its perfect
- It's not the best time to get out of the closet, is it?
- This is even worse if your girlfriend is religious. (but not actually as bad as having a religious girlfriend)
- Here's the chorus if you don't believe me: "And I feel like a beetle on its back/And there's no way for me to get up, love will get you like a case of anthrax/And that's something I don't want to catch."
- "It just seems wrong…"
- "Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? ¿Yendo usted al desayuno halagador? "
- "Yeah, that'll get her hot."
- "Self Explanitory"
- It is all too likely that she won't understand you're referring to orgasm.
- Unless you have managed to find a dominatrix or a girl really into that kind of thing. Or really into Danzig - there are actually quite a few.
- Unless she's into worshipping Lucifer.
- "Said you wanted to get your order filled, made me shiver when I put it in"
- "That would be a very messy situation"
- "Brutal and cruel, another hard beating, the pleasure of hearing you cry"
- Best lyricist ever? Yer maw! 'You have never been in love until you see the stars reflect in the reservioirs.' All he's doing is trying to find a word that fits with the last. "Irish Blood, English Heart, this is what i'm made of'. Cool mate! Fantastic! Again, shite lyrics with all these tight-jeaned arsebandits pretending to be English shouting "MORRISSEY!" eating this shit up.
- Especially if her name isn't Mrs. Robinson, or if she has seen The Graduate movie.
- "I don't know why you gotta be Angry All The Time"
- "I divorce the thoughts of you In love with me… I'm divorcing every motherfucking thing…"
- she will find out regardless
- Is that a euphemism for his penis?
- The absolute last song any woman wants to hear you sing along to! (ESPECIALLY DURING LOVE HOUR!)
- Unless you're making out with a horny emo, it's strongly advised not to play this number.
- Nothings says i love you like pedophilia.
- Nothing says I love you like a song with barnyard animal sounds in it.
- Unless you want a song about a gang bang then keep away from this
- "It smells like seven-layer, that beaver just ate some Taco Bell there."
- Inspires you to say things like "What is your tongue tastes so good!" and "What is could you please take your shirt off?" Come on, people, it just sounds wrong! And no one makes out on the show!
- This conjures up visuals from the movie "American Psycho"
- Ooo baby, your sister is hot
- Oops…I forgot the condoms! Do you mind getting an STD?
- This song is wrong…so very, very, wrong.
- Again burning not such a good thing and don't tell the one your with "I'm going to take what's mine!" or "Nothing is going to change what you've done to me!"
- Not something you'd want her to know about!
- "Give-a to me the 'golden shower'."
- Nothing quite as fucked up, unless your girlfriend likes animal porn…
- "Another Rape-Tastic song about rape by the most rapin' rapetastic band ever!
- Errrm…I don't really think she'd like to know you've got your "diddly spayed".
- This song's about cheating!!!!!
- She was a fast machine is really inappropriate for the moment.
- You're not supposed to tell her!
- "I used to love her but I had to kill her"
- "panties round your knees with your arse in debris… Tied up tied down… Be my rubbermade baby and we can do it all"
- "Turn around bitch I got a use for you."
- I think you get the picture about Guns…
- Well, if it's lesbian sex it's okay, I guess…
- Hmm… Well, probably not?
- Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.
- "I jizz right in my pants, every time you're next to me"
- It will take about .24 seconds after the name of the title is said for your girl to realize that you're prostate and testis have minds of their own. Either that or she, like you, will realize how fucking hilarious the song is.
- Seriously, in a blink of an eye, your girl is gone…
- My girlfriend isn't a gun-toting lump of plastic, is yours?
- Check out the lyrics to see why. If any guy or girl ever plays this for a make out song, RUUUNNN!!!!
- Read the lyrics. Now that has gotta hurt, lots!
- Unless you wish to get *it* done or alternatively *go to the dentist*, not a wise idea.